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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

WOMEN'S CAMP 119 (1977)


 It's hard to say what is the most depressingly bleak example of the nazisploitation subgenre since none of them are particularly cheery but I would have to think this one has got to be down there around the bottom of the barrel among the most nihilistically-toned, hopeless examples of cinematic sleaze and degradation. Filmed by crapmeister Bruno Mattei the whole film is really just Nazis experimenting on the "lower" races. They're some particularly strange pointless medical experiments including an especially silly one where they try to convert a couple of flamboyant gay fellows. You also get a crazy rapist named Crazy Kurt, a boot licking scene, gang-rape, floggings galore and just general sadism. As is usually the case with Mattei's filmography he attempts to take things to their absurd extreme end and if you're looking for something grim that's what you get here. AKA S.S. EXTERMINATION LOVE CAMP and S.S. EXTERMINATION CAMP

Monday, April 29, 2013

BLACK COBRA (1976)


 Not to be confused with the Fred "The Hammer" Williamson action film of the 80's with the same title this BLACK COBRA stars Laura Gemser, best known from the BLACK EMMANUELLE series, as a stripper who does an act featuring a large snake. Jack Palance catches this act and just so happens to be a snake-loving herpetologist who really digs Miss Gemser's act and has his own large collection of slithering friends. Luckily he's a filthy rich scientist who offers her anything she wants just to live in his house and basically become part of his collection. Palance also has a creepy brother who likes to occasionally let a very poisonous snake out to chomp on a lady-friend or two. Gemser herself has a super jealous ex-boyfriend and all these characters come into play against one another in one way or the other. As with most films directed by the great Joe D'Amato and featuring Gemser there's plenty of nudity with ample amounts of lesbianism on show here. You also get some gratuitous snake butchering and someone shockingly gets a hungry cobra shoved up the anus which is pretty gross. There's a censored version of this titled EMMANUELLE GOES JAPANESE, which is a strange choice of titles since this movie doesn't take place in Japan. Other AKA's include HOT PANTS, BLACK COBRA WOMAN and EROTIC EVA.


GIRL IN ROOM 2A (1974)


 This is a weird Italian horror flick about a woman who is let out of prison and sent to live in a boarding house that turns out to not be what it seems. It's filled with a pretty creepy vibe throughout but I couldn't always tell what the hell was going on plot-wise. There's a cult involved that tortures and kills people for some reason. They also seem to hate organized religion even though they act a whole lot like a bunch of ultra-religious nutso assholes. It's also sort-of a giallo since there's a red-masked killer who shows up but there are so many way more well-done iconic giallos out there that you can easily skip this one. Original Italian title=THE HOUSE OF FEAR



VIGILANTE (1983)



 Director William Lustig, of MANIAC fame, basically does a remake of DEATH WISH here but it is an awesome remake with an all-star cast and bloody violence and just enough unique touches that work well. You got Robert Forster as your main victim of a street gang called The Headhunters, which are your standard 1980's racially-mixed kind of group. To aid in in his revenge he is very conveniently friends with a group of vigilantes who ride around in a van and are led by the great Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, who does a great acting job here in what is probably one of my favorite performances by the man. Maniac himself, Joe Spinell, shows up in a small part as a sleazy Jewish? lawyer. If that's not enough of a line-up Woody Strode also appears as a wise old black man who tries to impart some wisdom to Forster's vengeance-seeking self. A little boy gets shot-gunned to death amidst various gun battles, pimps get messed-up, there's a naked prison shower-room fistfights and, of course, revenge is had. Overall this one is a great little slice of 80's action/revenge goodness right up there with it's obvious Charles Bronson inspiration!



SUPER BITCH (1973)


 This is an Italian/British mafia-filled crimesploitation flick starring a bunch of people I'm not too familiar with. There are some cool elements to this film but unfortunately not enough to actually recommend this to anyone outside of hardcore Eurotrash completists. On the plus side you get some bloody mafia hits with lots of bullet holes and splatter. There's a great crime family that is sort of a mix of the Manson family and Ma Barker's gang led by a badass older lady named Mama The Turk. If these folks had been the main focus of the film it may have been an all time classic. They run over Mick Jagger-look-alikes, they kidnap pretty women and torture them with hippy ballads and are just generally a fun gang of nuts to watch. On the downside most of the movie focuses on this slick undercover cop guy who plays all the different crime factions against each other and I found his scenes really dull and a little confusing to boot. Also the title misleads us into thinking there will be a strong female Pam Grier-type character but there isn't. So while I wouldn't give this a strong endorsement I will say check it out if you have a lot of patience for a movie that makes you wait quite a while for the good stuff. AKA MAFIA JUNCTION and BLUE MOVIE BLACKMAIL


Sunday, April 28, 2013

RITUALS (1977)


 Hal Holbrook stars in this Canadian-exploitation classic that takes the basic premise of DELIVERANCE and mixes in a killer-in-the-woods factor that gives this a proto-slasher movie feel. You get a head on a stick, bear traps to the feet and a guy burned alive among the violent spectacles. Since this was made before the big slasher movie boom of the 1980's this film actually takes the time to develop the characters and make us care about them which, of course, is something they forgot to do in movies after the 70's ended. If you dig later slashers like MADMAN or JUST BEFORE DAWN I imagine you would have a good time checking this out. I was fortunate enough to catch a public showing of this in the back of a bar/video-store recently and it was a good time. Released on VHS as THE CREEPER.

This silly song is not in the actual movie:

Thursday, April 25, 2013

THE MASTER (1980)



 This is one of those kung fu films that throws a bit of comedy in along with it's more serious fighting and killing scenes which leaves it with a weird tone throughout. There's also a lot of acrobatics going on in the martial arts fights which looks extra unrealistic. It does have some nice looking locations and is shot really well like most of the Shaw Brothers more classic kung fu stuff. The plot is pretty standard and involves an old master who trains a young fellow and then gets himself killed letting the "you killed my master, now I must get my revenge"-thing play out without anything spectacular happening. There are three main bad guys and one guy uses a knife in his pony-tail which is kinda unique and probably the most memorable thing about this flick. It doesn't help that this has just about the most generic title possible. AKA 3 EVIL MASTERS

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

BLACK SABBATH (1963)



 The great Mario Bava goes the horror anthology route here and gets Boris Karloff to introduce each story. Needless to say this is an immaculately-shot, beautiful-looking film as pretty much all of Bava's films are. The three stories are all pretty simple as they usually are in this sort of thing. The first one is about a woman being terrorized by phone calls from a psycho and it has a very giallo-esque kind of feeling to it. In fact it's considered by many to be the first actual giallo to be shot in color. The second story features Karloff and is about Wurdalaks which is basically just another name for vampires and it plays out with not too many surprises. The final story is my favorite and concerns a nurse who steals a ring from a dead patient and either goes insane or is stalked by the dead woman or maybe both. The thing that puts this one over so much for me is the general atmosphere of the story and  the makeup used on this old dead lady. That is some spooky-looking stuff there. This is the order if you're watching the original Italian version. If you go with the AIP English-dubbed release they switch the stories around and you get the ring story first followed by the phone call one and finally The Wurdalak. Personally I think it works way better the original way. There's also some different wrap-around segments in English where you get to hear Karloff's actual voice not dubbed into Italian which is really the only plus of watching it this way. Original title= THE THREE FACES OF FEAR

SHAOLIN AND WU TANG (1983)


 So the back-story I heard on this film is that Gordon Liu was upset with the way RETURN TO THE 36TH CHAMBER, the sequel to MASTER KILLER, came out and felt it was too much of a spoof and didn't treat the original with enough respect. So he went ahead and traveled to Taiwan to shoot his own version of a MASTER KILLER PART 2. The weird thing about that is that much of this movie is a straight-up comedy so I'm not sure he was successful in his goal. Also this doesn't really work as a sequel and seems more like a sort-of remake with some almost identical training scenes as the classic 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN. Either way though this is a pretty decent kung fu flick with some amazingly well-choreographed action going on if you can appreciate that kind of thing.
 The other big thing this film is known for is influencing rap legends The Wu-Tang Clan which as well as taking their name from this they used a bunch of samples from here on their 1st album. AKA SHAOLIN VS. WU TANG

Monday, April 22, 2013

BANANDO AL BEBE (1999)


 This is a short video from Mexico where we get a dead baby being bathed in a tub full of some very unclean looking liquid. It also has some nails pulled out of it. Why it had nails in it in the first place I have no idea. Then it gets wrapped in some plastic wrap, I guess for fresh keeping although it doesn't look very fresh to start out with. The director here, Teresa Margolles, specializes in the artistic use of corpses. I'm guessing corpses are a lot easier to come by in Mexico than many other places that don't have murderous drug cartels and whatnot.
 I saw this recently as part of a collection of underground Mexican cinema brought to the U.S. by Nick Zedd and while there's no narrative to follow it was by far the most memorable out of the stuff he showed just for the strange visual of a little corpse being scrubbed and there's clearly some artistic commentary about the narrow distinction between life and death or something along those lines. Throw it on at your next shindig, I'm sure it will be a big hit with all your breeder friends.

THE GIANT BEHEMOTH (1959)



 This is a pretty talky 50's giant dinosaur-on-the-loose flick from the director of the similar BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS. If you make it to the end though you do get some cool stop-motion animation from Willis O'Brien the guy who did the FX work on the original KING KONG. The monster here is also radioactive so he burns people as well as he stomps on stuff which makes him a sort-of American version of GODZILLA but obviously not remembered as well by most people mainly due to the fact that he didn't get 5 million sequels and also he doesn't have a very snazzy memorable name. Known in England as BEHEMOTH THE SEA MONSTER.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iglEEsCds0o&index=2&list=PL8hHmI9g2K-54vrCU6ci-YZSCL2Ocx6JV

Sunday, April 21, 2013

RED SPELL SPELLS RED (1983)


 I think my expectations for this Asian horror film were a little high going in. I was told this was a really gross, over-the-top kind of a thing along the lines of BOXER'S OMEN. Maybe I've seen too many of these black magic ghost films but I didn't think this one was all that disgusting. You do get an army of  evil scorpions, some of which appear out of boils on a woman's body, so if scorpions gross you out this might be an extra creepy film for you. On the sillier side you also get possessed chickens escaping from a cock-fight and people dying in ridiculous ways by getting attacked by trees and flung around like rag-dolls. Maybe it was just the cut I saw of this because I was also told there were a bunch of pigs being slaughtered here and that was nowhere in the version I watched. Basically it's your typical nasty spirit comes back from the dead, seeks revenge and has to do battle with good sorcerers with just a pinch of kung fu thrown in towards the end. There is a nice bit where a priest gets possessed and has to kick his own ass. It's all sort of similar to the movie BLACK MAGIC but not as good.  

Wacky opening scene from some shit-ass VHS copy:

Saturday, April 20, 2013

THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1977)


 This one has got to be one of the strangest examples of Bruce Lee-sploitation ever. If you described the plot of this movie to your average lame-brain civilian they would probably assume you were on some heavy psychedelics.
 OK, so, intermingling reality with fantasy, Bruce Lee(or in this case Bruce Leong doing his best Bruce Lee impression) dies and is sent to this underworld where he becomes friends with Popeye, The Sailor Man and The One-Armed Swordsman, from the kung-fu flick THE ONE-ARMED SWORDSMAN. There's a gang of bad guys consisting of Zatoichi, The Blind Swordsman, Clint Eastwood and James Bond(why all these heroic characters are evil I have no idea, but they are). This gang is led by a couple of fellows named The Exorcist, who has an unexplained French accent, and The Godfather. I guess in Hong Kong popular movie titles make for good names. They also pal around with Emanuelle from all those soft-core classics except here she has an English accent for no reason. If this isn't enough idiotic insanity Dracula shows up along with that Cobra Kai gang in the skeletons suits(who I think are supposed to be zombies?) and a bunch of mummies. Everyone does kung fu(usually very badly!) and it all ends with Bruce Lee floating away like a balloon.   
 You might think this is a movie for children, and I would too, except there's sex scenes and very ample boobs and almost complete nakedness on display. The whole thing reminded me of on of those crazy Turkish superhero films where copyright is no issue and even Spider-Man himself might be a murdering bastard. I was fortunate enough to see an actual film print of this last night in a theater and it surely made me question my sanity. I was also a little sad that I will probably never find another Brucesploitation film that will top this in the bat-shit wacky department. AKA DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU

The title sequence alone might be better than anything Hollywood has ever attempted:

Thursday, April 18, 2013

HEROES TWO (1974)


 This dull-titled Shaw Brothers kung fu flick is really well shot like most of the Shaws' stuff  it looks really awesome but plot-wise it's your standard thing about some warring groups of martial artists; Shaolin vs. Manchus. There is some cool bright 70's bloodshed and during the big final fight the more bloody scenes go to black & white(or in this case a sort of tinted red and black) which is somewhat similar to what Tarantino did in his big KILL BILL movie. A guy gets his eyes poked out, people get killed in pretty ludicrous ways and overact their death scenes immensely and there's pretty much fighting from start to finish. This one is really only recommended to hardcore Shaw Brothers fanatics. AKA HEROES 2, KUNG FU INVADERS, BLOODY FISTS, BLOOD BROTHERS and TEMPLE OF THE DRAGON. The ending leaves this open for a sequel and this was actually the first in a whole series of Shaolin temple movies directed by Chang Cheh which include these 7 movies and probably a couple more:

1. HEROES TWO- 1974
2. DISCIPLES OF DEATH- 1974
3. SHAOLIN MARTIAL ARTS- 1974
4. 5 MASTERS OF DEATH- 1974
5. INVINCIBLE ONE- 1975
6. INVINCIBLE KUNG FU BROTHERS- 1976
7. DEATH CHAMBER- 1976

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

MEATBALLS PART II (1984)


  Five years after the original MEATBALLS this happened. There's a lot of shitty things about this movie. Firstly, this is a teen sex comedy with no boobs and really no sex at all!  A god-damned PG-rated romp full of mostly ugly people. There's an E.T.-ripoff alien in this for no reason at all and no one seems all that surprised by him and his magical powers. Bill Murray is replaced by Richard Mulligan who I recall from that show SOAP which he was good on but he's no Bill Murray. In addition to him you get a lot of familiar faces including Pee Wee Herman as the bus driver, Elayne Boosler, John Larroquette as a gay military fellow and the main gal(also one of the few attractive humans in this), Kim Richards, who was in that fine TV-movie DEVIL DOG: THE HOUND OF HELL. Also of note is one scene where our campers have a showing of the zombie flick SHOCK WAVES which is a much better PG movie which contains arguably more laughs.

Sexy talk!:

Sunday, April 14, 2013

SCARS OF DRACULA (1970)



 A big fake-looking bat pukes up some blood on a bunch of ashes and Christopher Lee returns as Count Dracula in this 5th sequel in the Hammer studios series. While I'm not a big fan of this series in general I do find the ramped-up cheese factor as they went into the 70's to at least be mildly amusing. This one has a ladies bare ass on display, a bat chomping on the face of a priest, a sexy vampire chick, Drac's masochistic helper and a really stupid ending involving unlikely lightning saving the day. Besides these standout features it all runs along the exact lines you would expect an English Dracula movie to. This one is still set in olden-times but after this they would move the series to modern day, with stuff like SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA, which made the movies even nuttier.



Played on a double-bill with HORROR OF FRANKENSTEIN also from 1970:

Saturday, April 13, 2013

THE SKULL (1965)


 Amicus studios in England made a bunch of anthology-type horror movies. This isn't one of them but I think maybe it would have worked better as a shorter story in one of those. As it is this is one of the stupider movies I've seen in a while. Apparently the skull of the Marquis de Sade turns people into psycho-killers. Now I'm no literary historian but I believe the Marquis de Sade was just some guy who wrote books about S & M and didn't murder people but what do I know? Peter Cushing is our star here and he plays a collector of strange antique items. He ends up getting attacked by a skull on obvious strings and it's all very dumb and very British. Christopher Lee is in this also but doesn't do much. Also that paralyzed guy from A CLOCKWORK ORANGE that tells Alex to "please try the wine" shows up in a small part and I always enjoy seeing him besides that though I would say stick with the Amicus anthologies instead.  Perhaps even FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE or THE MONSTER CLUB would be nice.





THE ISLAND MONSTER (1954)


 In between being the iconic Frankenstein from the 30's and being the older icon in Roger Corman's Edgar Allen Poe movies and doing voice-over on cartoons Boris Karloff shot four Mexican horror flicks which are really only remembered today as curiosity pieces. This one came out of Mexico even before those and isn't even a horror film at all. It's got Karloff as a drug-smuggling. murdering, criminal-type and it's pretty dull. There's an annoying little Mexican girl who gets kidnapped and cries a lot and a boring detective story. Very slow-moving and skip-able unless you absolutely need to see everything Karloff was ever in. AKA THE MONSTER OF THE ISLAND

You can find this on lots of cheap-o DVD horror sets and Youtube:

Thursday, April 11, 2013

SNAKE-CRANE SECRET (1976)


 This is one of those super-generic kung-fu movies. The kind of movie that while watching it you're not sure if you've seen it before because it's so similar to about a million other chop-sockey flicks that they all start to blend into one. This is a textbook example of how you can fill your movie with fighting-action and still make it as dull as can be. Of course it features the snake and crane animal styles of of fighting, there's some back-stabbing, warring clans, Buddhist monks with swastikas and a big showdown at the end. Unfortunately it's the kind of movie you will probably forget the minute it's over but fortunately it shouldn't cost you more than a dollar for a DVD of this. AKA THE SECRET OF SNAKE AND CRANE, SECRET OF THE DRAGON & OLD SKOOL KILLAZ

Or you can just watch it here for free:

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

THE CRAWLING EYE (1958)


 Only slightly less dull than THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN which was filmed around the same time on what look like the same sets with star Forrest Tucker this is the story of some alien eye creature with big tentacles that also uses mind control on people to create killer zombies and hides in a big moving radioactive cloud that he uses as a sort-of spaceship. For a classic creature feature flick this one used to always annoy me with all it's talky talk. You do finally get paid-off right around the last 15 minutes with some Forrest Tucker with an axe Vs. big Eye Monster action but you might have to prop your eyes open to make it to that point. This was made in England which has a long rich history of making slow-moving, boring movies and is actually a remake of a British TV show. Original title= THE TROLLENBERG TERROR

Sunday, April 7, 2013

HELL PENITENTIARY (1984)


 This film starts out like some euro-crime mob flick with a jealous mob-boss crushing a couple to death with an earth-mover before switching over to the standard women-in-prison mode. Post-op tranny Ajita Wilson is featured here as a bad-ass leader of some female prisoners and she goes the whole tough-gal Pam Grier route with some gun, knife and kung-fu action against a corrupt lady warden(who strangely enough has more of a manly face than Ajita does!). This came along towards the tale end of the classic women's-prison genre and is fairly generic in almost every way. You got a few scenes of lesbian frolicking and inmate torture and after it's over it's pretty forgettable. This does kinda make me want to check out more Ajita Wilson films though. AKA CAPTIVE WOMEN 8: HELL PENITENTIARY & CAPTIVE WOMEN HELL: HELL PENITENTIARY.
 From what I can figure out the movie HELL BEHIND THE BARS is a different film made by the same director(Gianni Siragusa) with the same cast as this and also shot in '84 which is a little confusing.
  The other movies in the chronologically confusing CAPTIVE WOMEN series(which was just a retitling done for VHS releases) are:
CAPTIVE WOMEN   = THE STORY OF LINDA (1981)
CAPTIVE WOMEN 2= SS EXPERIMENT LOVE CAMP (1976)
CAPTIVE WOMEN 3= SWEET SUGAR (1972)
CAPTIVE WOMEN 4= ELSA FRAULEIN SS (1977)
CAPTIVE WOMEN 5= HELLTRAIN (1977)
CAPTIVE WOMEN 6= SAINT-TROPEZ VICE (1987)
CAPTIVE WOMEN 7= AMAZONIA: THE CATHERINE MILLS STORY (1985)


Saturday, April 6, 2013

BLOOD AND LACE (1971)



 This a great example of a 70's horror/thriller. It mixes an American giallo/mystery story about a hammer-wielding killer with the story of a home for wayward teens run by a crazy woman who likes stashing bodies in the basement freezer because her dead husband tells her to. The main gal in this has a cartoon character voice and sounds a bit like Rocket J. Squirrel from BULLWINKLE but you get over that after awhile. You also get Mel Sharples from the TV show ALICE in a pretty pervy role as a detective into the younger ladies and a killer that sorta looks like Freddy Krueger but doesn't crack jokes like an asshole.
 One of the strangest things looking at this movie today is that it was originally rated PG(or GP as it was known back then) when released and it features some pretty graphic murder and a whole bunch of perverted elements including prostitution, incest, molestation, underage teases and a hand chopped off. Another example of why the 70's were an amazing time for film.



THE SHE WOLF OF SPILBERG (1977)


 If you're gonna rip-off ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE S.S. there's a couple of things you might want to include in your movie. For one thing Nazis. The group in this flick act like Nazis and look like Nazis but I guess the filmmakers didn't want to offend anyone by putting swastikas in their movie so they have some weird pyramid thing in their red armbands instead. I'm assuming they're supposed to be just some generic South American fascists which would be fine if you weren't remaking a nazisploitation classic. The other important thing is you might want to make it a brutal movie with some exploitation elements. The only thing this movie has going for it is some boobs and Eurobush. The violence for our women-in-prison here consists of some very mild whipping and ultra-fake-looking rape. Finally, and probably the most important thing, is you would want your lead actress to be somewhat intimidating. Our title character here is about as wimpy an evil sadistic warden of a prison can be. Her main response to insubordination seems to be giving disapproving glances and pouting. This is a far cry from the castrating and completely bad-ass bitchery of the great Dyanne Thorne. If nothing else this movie at least makes me appreciate the ILSA series way more. AKA's= HELGA SHE WOLF OF SPILBERG, GIRL SLAVES & HELGA THE LEATHER MISTRESS

Malissa Longo was also ELSA, FRAULEIN SS which is another crappy nazisploitation flick that ripped-off ILSA in '77)



Friday, April 5, 2013

DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN (1972)


 The late, great Jess Franco made this monster-filled horror romp right before he filmed THE EROTIC RITES OF FRANKENSTEIN and I'm a much bigger fan of that one. This seems like just a warm-up for the utter insanity to follow. Franco's style is much more evident in the later film. For one thing, this one, at least the version I've seen, lacks any nudity or gore which seems amazing from a director with the sleazy reputation of Franco. Also the plot is almost non-existent here, at least with EROTIC RITES I could kinda decipher a thread among the chaos. This one seems to be more just random chaos.
 The plot? has Howard Vernon as a blue-tinted Dracula, he bites some lady then we get some words from Dr. Frankenstein. More stuff happens which might not necessarily be linked together. Frank makes a monster(using magic I think?), he goes out snatching dancing gals, Drac ends up Dr. Frank's slave, there's also a vampire chick and towards the very end of the movie a crap-faced Wolfman shows up to fight Frank's monster in a not very spectacular fashion. AKA DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN(even though they're on the same side and never fight)
 Franco's THE DAUGHTER OF DRACULA, which I haven't seen yet, is considered the final chapter in his monster sorta-trilogy.

VENGEANCE OF THE ZOMBIES (1973)


 Paul Naschy plays a few different roles in this tale of a magic-utilizing murderer who employs voodoo dolls and old-timey zombies to do his dirty work. While this isn't my favorite Naschy flick, the plot is kinda convoluted and there are some stretches that I find pretty sleep-inducing, there are at least a couple of cool scenes to recommend this one to horror fans. The main highlight is this amazing dream-sequence where Naschy plays the Devil. He sports the horns, a sweet goat-tee, makes some crazy-ass faces and while some chaotic jazz plays blood is spilled. Overall there is quite a bit of blood shed in this one, a head get lopped off, throats are slashed and zombies bash heads in. Unfortunately no flesh-eating since we're dealing with re-animated slave-type walking dead here.
 The one big stand-out weird thing about this movie is the soundtrack. It's these awesomely funky tunes that don't really fit this movie at all and would probably seem more appropriate in maybe a blacksploitation or some other type of 70's action flick which I think every time the music comes up.