NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR (1985)

Nutty-ass 80's anthology film that seems to have been made by deranged lunatics.  As a general rule I hate stupid 80's flicks but this one here is an exception.  It's just too insane not to love.  You get three stories with wrap-around segments on a train where God and Satan(played by an actor billed only as Lu Cifer) are haggling over souls while what must be one of the world's lamest bands is playing the same song over and over again dressed in aerobics outfits and break-dancing. The three interwoven stories are created by taking three movies and editing them down to make them fit into the 90 minute running time.  This works in the films favor in one way because everything keeps moving along quickly almost like a trailer but it takes away in the "making any fucking sense" department.  The first segment(in the version I saw, some versions have these stories switched around) is taken from an unreleased/unfinished film titled SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF a.k.a MARILYN ALIVE AND BEHIND BARS.  It stars John Phillip Law as a drunk driver who ends up in an insane asylum where Richard Moll(credited as Charles Moll for some reason) works and likes to fondle and hack up female inmates for kicks.  This part makes the least sense out of anything we see since it's all edited so strangely with blood flying and stuff seemingly happening randomly and it's how the movie starts out.  By this point you're not sure what the hell to make of this movie.  But it's entertaining if nothing else.  The next segment is from 83's DEATH WISH CLUB a.k.a. CARNIVAL OF FOOLS.  It's the sweet love story of a guy who hires a prostitute and then gets all jealous when she gets a boyfriend so he invites the whore's new love interest to join his group of Russian roulette playing wack-jobs.  Not regular old Russian roulette though, these guys are way more creative than that.  They use an automatic electrocution machine, a wrecking ball that drops on someone's face and a super-deadly claymation insect to play their little "death wish" games.  This parts my fav.  You get a Jimi Hendrix lookalike who gets all sorts of messed up, another guys face explodes, and a head gets smushed by a wrecking ball.  Good times.  Finally you get Cameron Mitchell investigating an eternal Satanic Nazi character in clips from 1980's CATACLYSM a.k.a. THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS a.k.a. SATAN'S SUPPER. Richard Moll also comes back as an atheist author but he's so much better as a psychopath.  This one's great just for the insane claymation used throughout.  Not only do you get clay monsters but when they attack someone the person turns into a little clay guy also.  Just brilliant stuff.