WARRIOR FROM SHAOLIN (1980)

 This kung fu flick is a pretty schizophrenic affair. It jumps from a serious film about Japanese forces during World War II subjugating China to slapstick comedy bits to people getting tortured to kung fu involving stripping a hooker and then throws in some of those hopping vampires for just a touch of horror(are these guys ever scary in any movie?). Of course goofy scenes are not all that unique in Hong Kong cinema but they seem to be sprinkled in here pretty randomly.
 The plot concerns Gordon Liu reprising his classic MASTER KILLER persona as a Shaolin monk who gets involved with some anti-Japanese countrymen. He also get mixed up with a couple of bumbling morons to give this film it's chaotic tone. While this one is not exactly a classic of the genre it still moves along breezily enough and the main comedic characters aren't too overbearingly stupid for too long. AKA SHAOLIN WARRIOR

                                  also AKA CARRY ON WISE GUY:

ZAMBO, THE RULER OF THE FOREST (1972)

 No, this isn't an Italian rip-off of RAMBO. It's actually an Italian TARZAN knock-off, which is a weird thing to be making in the 1970's but whatever. It starts out as a pretty serious film about a couple of convicts escaping from a train that's transporting them. They end up lost in the jungle and after just a couple of years one of them, the one that doesn't end up dead, becomes king of the jungle and protector of all African natives! Things then get pretty campy with ridiculous 8 on 1 fight scenes, animal antics and even a ridiculous-looking gorilla in a quite unconvincing old-timey gorilla suit. Brad Harris, who previously played Hercules and Samson, is perfect as our hero and this one's hard to dislike if you just want something that's dumb fun.

 Extra stupid trailer!:

MANSION OF THE DOOMED (1976)

 This mad doctor(Richard Baseheart) keeps taking various peoples eyeballs in order to help his daughter regain her eyesight. He then keeps all these eyeless folks in a cage in his basement. He does promise to help them out once he figures out what he's doing. Unfortunately for them he's not particularly successful. Fortunately for the viewer he does get his comeuppance by the finale.
 The trailer for this one makes it look like a way better picture than what you get. I guess the main problem is the slow-ass pacing and the focus on the suffering of these poor people he's decided to pluck eyes from. One bright spot has the great Vic Tayback(Mel Sharples from ALICE) show up as a detective but he sadly doesn't hang around very long.
 This one's pretty skip-able unless you're really into eyeball surgery scenes. Watch the trailer though!



Known in the U.K. as THE TERROR OF DR. CHANEY where it played with an alternately-titled version of MEATCLEAVER MASSACRE:

Known in Spanish as TERROR IN THE DARK!: 

NINJA BUSTERS (1984)

 This one took me a few tries to make it all the way through. I guess the idea of a karate/ninja flick mixed with an exceptionally stupid comedy doesn't really hold all that much appeal to me. I was expecting something more in line with MIAMI CONNECTION but this is not quite as engaging or entertaining as that one. Both films do have a similar backstory about being lost and then rediscovered recently to movie assorted geeks raving in delight. I assume with this one the raving was a bit less vehement and perhaps if it had stayed lost it wouldn't have been that great of a loss to very many folks.  All the elements are present  for something that could have been fun, ninjas, drug dealing bad guys, revolutionary political extremists, bikers, dreadful acting and general stupidity. Maybe if there was at least a bit more bloody violence and everything didn't seem like a movie made for little kids I coulda go into it more.

CORIOLANUS: HERO WITHOUT A COUNTRY (1964)

 I'm generally not the biggest fan of most swords n' sandals movies. I do dig some of the Hercules movies with the supernatural elements or giant monsters and that kinda stuff. Well you get nothing of that sort here. This one is a historical drama based on a play by Shakespeare. You do get the guy who played Hercules and Tarzan and Samson and Goliath etc., Gordon Scott, as our titular hero. You also get a bunch of pretty silly looking battle scenes that look like they could have been filmed at a renaissance fair or something.  It took a couple of tries to get through this one and it probably wasn't worth the effort. AKA THUNDER OF BATTLE

WRESTLING QUEEN (1973)

 Documentary about 70's pro wrestling. Not just women's wrasslin' either, even though Vivian Vachon is the main focus, they do interview a bunch of old time big names from the era. Blackjack Mulligan, Killer Kowalski and a bunch more give their thoughts on the manliest of sports. There's also some footage of Andre The Giant back when he was called Jean "The Giant" Ferre. There's not a lot of footage of pro wrestling from the 70's so if that interests you give this a look. As far as being a very in-depth expose on the pseudo-sport it really isn't. Probably the most entertaining thing is how violently angry the fans, who at this time consisted of a lot of old people, get while booing the bad guys.

TEENAGE GANG DEBS (1966)

 Caught this as the second part of a double bill with the far superior but kinda/sorta similar girl-gang opus SHE DEVILS ON WHEELS last night. Perhaps my expectations were a bit high going in but I didn't think this one really lived up to the hype I had heard. I did enjoy that all the Italian male gang members talk like The Fonz and all the ladies talk like Laverne from LAVERNE & SHIRLEY but besides the nifty accents it was a bit of a letdown. There's lots of shaky camerawork and a pretty sleazy plot about our main gal (Diane Conti) moving from Manhattan to Brooklyn and infiltrating a gang there that she proceeds to tear apart. There is a comeuppance that's dished out at the end but I was never too sure who I was supposed to be rooting for to come out on top. A sleazy, groovy-music and oddball dancing-filled oddity that's worth a look for hardcore fans of the Something Weird video label(which is where I first heard of it). Re-released under the amazing moniker of  LEATHER JACKET JUNGLE

THE BRAIN EATERS (1958)

 Well no brains actually get eaten in this one. What you do get is some aliens (who instead of coming from outer space tunnel up from inside the earth in a cone-shaped spaceship) that look like fuzzy slippers that enjoy taking over human brains. They take over Leonard Nimoy(misspelled as Nemoy in the credits) and use him as an interpreter to explain their dastardly plan. There's lots of zombie-fied people lurking about and goofy monster action that kinda reminds me of that stupid 80's CRITTERS movie. Not the best 50's creature feature but I guess if you've seen all the other ones and you hunger for more check it out.




                                   Often paired up with this other 50's monster flick:

THE THRILL KILLERS (1964)

                                       
                                                "I hate people. They're no good!"

  Trash film director Ray Dennis Steckler made a bunch of films in his day. This here one is my personal favorite. It's a fairly straight-forward tale of a group of escaped mental patients on a bloody axe-swinging romp through a small town. Heads roll and Steckler(under the alias of Cash Flagg) even gets to show off his acting chops as the sneering main killer "Mad Dog" Click. Liz Renay, who would go on to appear in John Water's exceptional DESPERATE LIVING, plays the final girl who has to run around the desert in high heels in what is essentially an early example of a slasher film ending.
 This was shown theatrically as THE MANIACS ARE LOOSE and THE MONSTERS ARE LOOSE in "HYPNOVISION" which meant that a colorful hypnotic prologue was added and at certain dramatic scenes a swirling colorful hypnotic disc would appear while Steckler and a few buddies would run out and menace the audience with knives and axes. Sounds like a fun time that could never be pulled off today without some potentially dire consequences. This gimmick would also be used again by Ray for his next, and probably most well-known movie THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED UP ZOMBIES!!!?

                                         "A hallucinogenic nightmare!":