FISTS OF FURY (1971)

 The first Bruce Lee movie after he did all the T.V. stuff in America and the movie that got it all started for Lee's big breakout into superstar/legendary status. While I dig Lee's next film THE CHINESE CONNECTION a tad more this one is still almost the perfect example of the classic kung fu flick. It's got a simple enough plot about drug-dealing scumbags that exploit their workers at an ice factory getting their comeuppance thanks to some masterful chopsockey skills, a bit of blood here and there(though apparently the scene involving a rotating saw taking a body apart was originally a lot gorier but it was cut due to it not being very realistic looking)  and they were even nice enough to throw some naked boobs in for added thrills. It's all elevated thanks to Mr. Lee's charisma and athleticism. Even a scene where a guy gets punched through a wall leaving a cartoonish outline of his body doesn't detract from the overall badassness of our heroic star.
 To make things as confusing as possible this was originally titled THE BIG BOSS in Hong Kong, FIST OF FURY was the title given to Lee's next movie, THE CHINESE CONNECTION, and THE CHINESE CONNECTION is the title that this movie is known as in Australia.

BLIND FIST OF BRUCE (1979)

 This kung-fu flick reminds me of DRUNKEN MASTER(which came out a year earlier) quite a bit. Mostly because it stars the ol' drunken master himself, Simon Yuen, but in this one instead of being a drunk he's just an old blind ass-kicking master. And in place of Jackie Chan we get Bruce Li as his student. It starts out with Li getting the crap beat out of him numerous times which is kind of unusual to see since he so often plays the invincible Bruce Lee character. But don't worry too much because things turn around and everything works out as expected. The main villain sprays acid in people's eyes, causing blindness, which is kinda unique but not used enough and everything else is pretty standard for the genre including some dumb comedy bits with elephant-style-fu etc.





                                                             Ye old lobby card!:

BRUCE LEE: THE MAN, THE MYTH (1976)

 So Bruce Lee(actually Bruce Li since the real Lee died 3 years earlier) goes around and gets into a bunch of fights to prove how awesome his jeet kune do style of kung fu is. While the movie poster assures us this is "ALL TRUE" I have my doubts about that. This sorta biopic does present us with a super-heroic version of Lee and hits on his accomplishments but it's all pretty goofy and is presented better in that Hollywoodized DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY movie. As much as it pains me to admit that Hollywood has ever done anything better than Hong Kong they at least did get the facts quite a bit more accurate. This cheapy cash-in is OK for a stupid Sunday afternoon watch but is ultimately pretty forgettable in the sea of similar Brucesploitation films from this era. AKA THE DRAGON LIVES(which is also the alias of a different Bruce Lee biopic called HE'S A LEGEND, HE'S A HERO to confuse things even more)

THE SADISTIC HYPNOTIST (1969)

 One of the stupidest things I've viewed in a while and that's saying a lot because obviously I watch a lot of stupid crap! This one exists solely for the ogling of jiggling boobs and asses which in itself is a noble enough cause, I think the issue I have here is that it attempts to be comedic at times and fails greatly. Also existing in that netherworld between the nudie-cutie and the later roughie-style of adult film this one is not a great example of either, but certainly works as a curiosity for deep divers into the world of smutsploitation. Some light bondage and whipping and an LSD trip-out scene(including some hippie body-painting) are some highlights. AKA WANDA, THE SADISTIC HYPNOTIST
 Director Greg Corarito would go on to make the, also stupid, but a bit more entertaining smut classic DELINQUENT SCHOOLGIRLS

                          Played with this obscure drag-queen-filled Incestsploitation flick!:

VENUS IN FURS (1969)

 Caught a 35mm screening of this one recently hosted by the great director Frank Henenlotter. While Mr. Frank purports that this is the greatest Jess Franco film I would have to mildly disagree. While it's always great to see any Franco on the big screen like God intended this one is a bit of a disjointed mess. In the cool music and awesome visuals department perhaps this is the peak of what Franco was able to accomplish but as for a coherent narrative it is a bit lacking. It does explore an interracial relationship before such things were acceptable so that's something. Sadly it lacks in the Klaus Kinski department as he is only in a couple of scenes but still manages to project his insane aura. I understand that it's a surreal dream-like experience but I feel that directors like Jean Rollin did that stuff better. I'm still glad I got to experience this one regardless and it's theme song is definitely an earworm. I guess I'm just a fan of his more horrific and sleazier journeys into the exploitation cinema wasteland.

Originally known as PAROXISMUS which means "violent attack", I think?:

THE GIANT CLAW (1957)

 I first caught this 50s giant-monster epic a few years back at a theatrical Thanksgiving showing. It makes a good turkey-day flick not only because the movie is a bit of a turkey but also because the monster does resemble some sorta bizzare interpretation of a skinny flying turkey puppet. More accurately I guess it's more of a buzzard-deal, but a buzzard with a tuft of hair on it's head and bulging eyes, oh and it sounds like a crow for some reason. The scientists in this inform us that this terrifying creature hails from a planet made of anti-matter, whatever that means. This would probably be kind of forgettable if not for the absurd appearance of our bird-monster and solely for that it's worth a gander for 50s monster kids.





They manage to make the monster appear more frightening by hiding his goofy face in the posters!:

THINK FAST, MR. MOTO (1937)

 Growing up I watched a lot of late-night Charlie Chan flicks on the fuzzy UHF stations. I don't recall them showing very many Mr. Moto movies though. Being a fan of Peter Lorre I figured I should check them out. This here is the first one in a series of 8 and unlike the Chan films they seem to be a lot more serious in tone. This is probably due, in a large part, to how ominous Peter Lorre portrays our hero at times. He spends a lot of time acting like he's just a typical Japanese gentleman but when he gets serious and drops the act, and starts ass-kicking, I can see how he came to be known as one of the great horror icons. There's some judo-tossing action(including an impressive overhead tossing of a spy to his overboard death!) with an obvious stand-in for Lorre and it moves along fast enough at just over an hour that it's worth a look just for Lorre fans who don't mind a simple mystery plot. Being a Jew from Hungary he never does seem very Japanese to me but hey these were very different times and if this offends you you probably had terrible parents and are too sensitive to watch anything outside of modern-day children's programming and Hollywood superhero movies.

 Mr. Moto series:
1. THINK FAST, MR. MOTO (1937)
2. THANK YOU, MR. MOTO (1937)
3. MR. MOTO'S GAMBLE (1938)
4. MR. MOTO TAKES A CHANCE (1938)
5. MYSTERIOUS MR. MOTO (1938)
6. MR. MOTO'S LAST WARNING (1939)
7. MR. MOTO IN DANGER ISLAND (1939)
8. MR. MOTO TAKES A VACATION (1939)

 

THOR THE CONQUEROR (1983)

 Pretty cool dumb Italian rip-off of CONAN THE BARBARIAN. Thor here(Conrad Nichols) isn't a superhero or god or anything like that instead he's just a beefy barbarian who pals around with a magical owl-man that gives him special powers once in a while(oh and a horse that just appears out of thin air). He also likes to peep in on Thor whenever he's getting busy with the ladies(which I believe we call rape nowadays but I guess this takes place in the days before they invented that term). When I say this is cool I mean in the stupid bad-movie way of course. It's clearly an utterly inept film but I still found myself fascinated to see where it was going next. If you're not as forgiving of dumb cinema I guess you could skip it or just watch one of the other dozens of crappy Italian CONAN clones but as of this moment this might be my new fav but that might be due to the competition not being very fierce.
 Known in the Philippines as BEASTMASTER II years before there actually was a BEASTMASTER 2!

Stupid trailer made by stupid Full Moon Features!:




                                                               Extra sexy Spanish poster!:

Don't recall Thor fighting any giant snakes in the film but it makes for a cool poster!:

This one looks more like a paperback book cover but still very cool!:

THE DEATHHEAD VIRGIN (1974)

 My friend's grandpa(Norman Foster) was the director of this Filipino-lensed horror flick. That's the reason I tried to re-watch it recently. I say "tried" because this one is a bit on the sleepily-paced side of things. I managed to persevere though and eventually made it to the not all that exciting conclusion.
 The story itself deals with a mythological naked lady who wears a skull mask, kind of like a way sexier version of Skeletor, and kills people who disturb her slumber or something along those lines. This does lead to lots of bare-ass shots which is nice but the horror elements are pretty weak especially since this is basically just a monster-on-the-loose tale. They do use a lot of the sound cues from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD so that's at least somewhat spooky. I understand ol' grandad Foster did make some better films including working with Orson Welles on JOURNEY INTO FEAR but probably more to my liking is that he also made a bunch of those old CHARLIE CHAN and MR. MOTO flicks which I've most likely seen but never paid attention to who directed them before. This was his last film and while no great shakes it at least gives us a nudie skeleton-faced lady running around and performing some underwater wrestling moves. So if you have great patience check it out.

 

                                                                   Sexy VHS cover!:

LINDA AND ABILENE (1969)

 Probably the most interesting thing about this softcore-porn/western directed by "The Godfather of Gore" HG Lewis(under the alias of  Mark Hansen) is that it was filmed at the Spahn Movie Ranch which as all true crime buffs know was at that time the home of The Charles Manson family. Though as a fan of Lewis' work in general I did find this incest-filled tale an interesting watch just for curiosity's sake. The sleazy plot deals with a brother and sister, Abilene and Todd, in the old west days whose parents drop dead and leave them alone so of course, this being filmed in the swinging 60s and all, they end up boffing each other every chance they get despite their sibling status. Things go well enough, I suppose, until Todd goes down to the local bar and meets the slutty Linda who swings both ways. Terrible acting abounds, there's a tiny bit of blood shown in a shootout, but no gore despite Lewis' reputation for such, and the sex scenes are all kinda straight forward softcore stuff if you just ignore the fact that most of them are incestuous. An interesting oddity that I assume most people would find a bit draggy due to it's slow pace.

Naughty Trailer!

THE MARQUISE DE SADE (1976)

 I first watched this erotic flick back-to-back with SATANIC SISTERS which is director Jess Franco's very similar movie about two sisters. In both of these one is a crazy nympho and the other is the more manipulative ringleader. In this one both of these roles is played by the lovely Lina Romay who you get to see every inch of inside and out so if that's your goal this might be perfect for you. If you want an actual story to go along with your filth SATANIC SISTERS is a better choice. This one from what I gather was a rushed deal that Franco churned out at the same time he was working on his sleazy women-in-prison epic BARBED WIRE DOLLS and it certainly feels it. But this lack of a clear narrative makes this one seem especially artsy if not particularly meandering.Tons of nudity and hardcore shots make up a lot of the runtime so if 70s eurosleaze is your thing this delivers in that area. AKA DORIANA GRAY

Save time! 15 minutes of the sleaziest moments!: