BEN (1972)

  I haven't seen the original WILLARD since I was a little kid back when it used to play on TV and I'd never seen this sequel so I figured it was about time(It also helped that the local weirdo movie theater was having a showing). It definitely falls into that goofy animals-run-amok subgenre that was so popular in the 70s. We get a little boy character that veers from being annoying to sympathetic depending on your tolerance level, lots of silly-looking rat attacks, singing marionettes, a big final battle that takes forever and let's not forget the Academy Award-nominated best song( a love song about a boy and his best friend who's a murderous rat) sung by Michael Jackson.  Worth a look but I recall WILLARD being a bit more classy. 

 

                                                               The #1 hit!:

 

                                                                Italian poster:

RAZORBACK (1984)

  This giant-pig-on-the-loose-in-Australia epic is way more stylish than it has any right to be. This is obviously due to it's director Russell(HIGHLANDER) Mulcahy who started off being a music video director before embarking on his feature film journey. I've seen this compared to that wild Australian classic WAKE IN FRIGHT and while this might have some of the same energy as that it is clearly something made with a very 80s sensibility(especially with Duran Duran on the soundtrack). Check it out for something that's elevated above the average trashy JAWS-inspired animals-run-amok dreck. 

THE SWINGING CHEERLEADERS (1974)

 Jack Hill-directed sexploitation classic featuring cult favs Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith from MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH and Colleen Camp of DEATH GAME fame. Our main cheerleader(Jo Johnston who is really good in this and would sadly go on to do no other acting roles) is actually an undercover journalist writing about the oppressive world of cheerleading. The main theme of this film is that you can't always judge people by their outward appearance. The mood swings wildly from serious social commentary to slapstick comedy and while not the best Hill flick(SWITCHBLADE SISTERS from the following year might be my choice for that honor) is still worth a look for some vintage drive-in thrills. 

Rereleased at some point as LOCKER ROOM GIRLS. 

Released in the U.K. and the U.S. on video as H.O.T.S. II which is kinda weird since the first H.O.T.S. wasn't made until 1979!:

NAUGHTY CHEERLEADERS (1985)

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SPECIAL AGENT L.K.: OPERATION KING MIDAS (1967)

  Eurocult director Jess Franco goes the comedy route this time. Not just a comedic take on James Bind but a simulation of a comic book with captions and word balloons that pop up from time to time. There were quite a few of these silly Bond cash-ins made in this era and I'm not a huge fan of any of them but this was mildly amusing and something outside of the usual Franco sleaze milieu. 

 More commonly known as LUCKY THE INSCRUTABLE. 

DAY OF THE ANIMALS (1977)

   This is that movie where Leslie Nielsen takes off his shirt and fights with an angry grizzly bear. It's not done for laughs though since this was years before Nielsen became known for being a funny man. In fact in this he's about the biggest douchebag you could imagine!

  Directed by William Girdler, who just one year earlier had given us the similarly-themed nature-run-amuck epic GRIZZLY, this one throws dogs, snakes, birds, wolves, mountain lions and few other creatures into the mix of revenge-seeking animals. There's also a pretty dumb ecological message about the ozone layer thrown in to explain everything that's going on. Good goofy 70s fun that would make a great double feature with FROGS. 

Re-released as SOMETHING IS OUT THERE to trick people:

    Also released on VHS under this title(there are sadly no crazy monkeys in this movie):

THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS (1934)

  Before watching this 3 Stooges short I had no idea that Lucille Ball had ever appeared with Moe, Larry & Curly. I also had no idea Roger Moore, who shows up briefly as a henchman, did! Besides these cameos this one isn't all that exceptional. The Stooges get mistaken for football heroes and end up playing ball very badly and that's about it.

 

SWEDISH GAS PUMPS GIRLS (1980)

  This Eurotrash sex/softcore-porn movie is supposed to be a sequel to SIX SWEDISH GIRLS IN A BOARDING SCHOOL and it's pretty much exactly the same as that one. Brigitte Lahaie and friends are back screwing anyone that stops at their gas station. In this fantasyland apparently STDs are nonexistent. The bicycle with the dildo in the seat from the first movie becomes a stationary bike with a dildo now. Exactly what you expect with not many surprises beyond the gag with the TV-set that can see and interact with the horny people around it. AKA SIX SWEDES AT A PUMP, SWEDISH EROTIC SEXATIONS, HIGH TEST GIRLS and FRIENDLY FAVORS

RED (1993)

 The Tube Bar Tapes(recorded in beautiful New Jersey) were the inspiration for The Jerky Boys and the prank-calling of Moe's bar on THE SIMPSONS among other things. The audio from the actual tapes is used for the first portion of this short while we see still photos of the legendary(and perfectly cast) Lawrence Tierney looking quite perturbed. The 2nd half gives us a bloody curb-stomping and some bikini babes for added thrills. 

 Director Chris Gore(famous for being the creator of FILM THREAT magazine) only made a couple of early shorts before focusing on his career in critiquing other movies and while they're all clearly very low-budget and amateurish, I dig the punk style that they convey and wish there were more remnants of the 90s like this to remind me about the only exciting cinematic movement in America in that mostly crappy decade.

 

ALONE AGAINST TERROR (1983)

 Director Jess Franco had a habit of remaking(or at least reusing themes from)  his older films in the 80s. This one borrows a bunch from THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF in that it deals with a crippled gal(Lina Romay) who is used by her doctor as a killing machine so he can obtain a big inheritance. Also like that one this is a bit disappointing in the nudity or sleaze departments. This is especially sad since one of our main actresses, Mabel Escano, is obviously very well-endowed! This could maybe be overlooked if it also wasn't so slowly-paced. Certainly this is non-essential Eurotrash viewing.  This was apparently shelved for 3 years before getting any sort of release so someone must have agreed with me. 

BACCHANALE (1970)

 This one's notable for being an early example of hardcore porno. Made by John and Lem Amero, who had previously done a few softcore flicks, this one is what you get when you mix artsy-fartsy junk with explicit sex and it's not exactly a great example of either one of those 2 elements. Fellow sleaze-makers, and friends of the Ameros, Michael and Roberta Findlay show up briefly. We follow our main character(Uta Erickson, who appeared in films by The Findlays, Doris Wishman and Joe Sarno among others) through a trippy dream and ends up in hell, which might be my least favorite idea for a plot ever! Her name is Ruth and she's searching for her lost brother who she may have been incestuous with. Her brother's name is Gordon which just made me think about how I'd rather be watching anything with the late great Ruth Gordon in it instead of this.

DISORDER IN THE COURT (1943)

 One of the Three Stooges shorts I've seen the most thanks to it being in public domain for some reason and ending up on pretty much every cheap-o Stooges set released on DVD or VHS. This one has the boys in a courtroom causing their usual chaos. They try and murder a parrot, shoot a man's toupee and, of course, smack the shit out of each other among other things. A classic if you're not sick of seeing it yet. 

                          Nothing says cheap-ass VHS quite like a crayoned cartoon drawing!:

HELEN BEDD (1973)

  A cast of unknown hippie-looking folks have sex with each other in Helen Bedd's(Sandy Carey's) house. Strangely enough our leading lady doesn't partake in the triple X action and only gets her tits rubbed on in the first sexy scene. Also of note is a pregnant gal(Linda McDowell) getting in on the hardcore smutty play. Clocking in at just under an hour this was all shot in one day and you can really tell.