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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Sunday, May 9, 2021


 This Pete Walker-directed journey into insanity sure makes for a swell Mother's Day flick. Of course you have to be the type of person who enjoys watching surgery on corpses with a drill, a hot poker into the guts, eyeballs smashed out of skulls, cannibalism and that sort of thing. This was rated X in England and while most of the nastiness is not shown in very lurid detail, for the time and country this was made this was pretty cutting edge in the gore department. I really need to watch more Walker films soon.  AKA COVER UP, ONCE UPON A FRIGHTMARE and, best of all,  BRAINSUCKERS


                                            Known in Spain as SPEECHLESS TERROR!:

Tuesday, May 4, 2021


  If we want to remember just one scene from this Japanese samurai film(and perhaps the whole Zatoichi series!) it's got to be the epic moment when our hero, Zatoichi, is trying to get busy with a prostitute and is rudely interrupted by some peeping-tom's peeking through some paper windows at him and he responds by letting loose a nice fart right in their faces. Truly a heroic moment if there ever was one! Besides this you get a fairly standard 70s samurai flick with the inclusion of our one-armed Hong Kong hero(played by Jimmy Wang Yu who would also go on to star in the great ONE-ARMED BOXER). Zatoichi definitely came off looking to be the superior fighter in this to me but that's mostly because he's the main focus of the film and this seems more like a Japanese production overall. 

 An interesting experiment mixing two existing franchises(it's the 22nd Zatoichi film and the 3rd ONE-ARMED SWORDSMAN movie with Wang Yu) that's worth a look for Samurai or kung-fu fans. 


Friday, April 30, 2021


  So it's the old-west and there's a whorehouse above a saloon and women are kidnapped and forced to work there. I thought this movie was gonna follow the women-in-prison template but things never really get all that serious. In fact pretty much all the raping and imprisoning of women is just done for laughs which makes for a pretty inconsequential viewing experience. It is weird to see a Eurocine production that's also a period piece that requires western sets. I would not have thought that they ever had the budget for such things but apparently this film was a re-edited version of 1963's  THE SIGN OF THE COYOTE, which would explain where the more extravagant settings came from and also the hodge-podge nature of everything that happens, with new sex scenes inserted. Also this is allegedly a sequel to 1972's RED HOT ZORRO but having never seen that I can't say how much of an actual follow-up it is. Very skippable unless you really wanna see a sexy western, a Zorro homage, a naked fat lady or lots of Euro-bush and floppy dicks. 

 Shown in France on this sexy double-bill with HOUSE OF CRUEL DOLLS(another Eurocine production, this one co-written by Jess Franco!):

Tuesday, April 27, 2021


  So this ugly shot-on-video thing is trying to recreate a giallo film. It was filmed in Mexico, Argentina and New Zealand which I believe are 3 countries no actual giallos were ever made in. Some of the soundtrack cues are fairly accurate and they got the placement of J & B whiskey correct. Besides this there's not much to recommend. A head gets lopped off at one point which was gory. Maybe if they had cast the lead in the more traditional macho Italian leading man mode it would have been a bit more believable as something not made in 2018. As always, stick with the classics. 


  Making modern movies that are throwbacks to older films is inevitably a stupid backwards thing to do that shows zero creativity and thought. Also they almost never actually look anything like what they are trying to mimic, so they just come off as intentionally badly made garbage. This usually says more about the filmmakers than it does the things they are poorly trying to mock or homage or whatever the case may be. That being said this one at least gave me a couple of mild chuckles, so if stupid comedies are your thing check it out. You get aliens, a sultry animal woman, a goofy monster and an evil skeleton of course. I was a little upset that they didn't throw in a gorilla. Maybe one shows up in the sequel which came out 8 years later. 

Saturday, April 24, 2021


 Glacially-paced story of a shipwreck that leaves a couple of survivors in a haunted castle run by an evil count. Took me a couple of attempts to actual get through this one without dozing off. The highlight was the giant very fake looking stuffed spider that shows up. The low-points were pretty much everything else. There is one lady in some crud-faced makeup that looked pretty good. Director, Pat Boyette went on to draw comic books(including HOWARD THE DUCK) which is probably a good thing for everyone. That also explains why the poster looks so good. AKA DUNGEONS OF HORROR

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

JOSHUA (1976)

  Fred "The Hammer" Williamson is always cool no matter what he's in but this might be the most basic example of a revenge flick I've ever seen. Returning from the Civil War, Fred has to avenge his momma in the old west. Pretty downbeat throughout which I guess is an intentional commentary about war or returning  veterans or something. Very sparse dialogue plus a very repetitive score make for quite the endurance test of a viewing. There is some raping going on but it's all off-screen. It's a good thing The Hammer is such a cool dude.

 While blaxploitation flicks are some of my favorite things in the world giving them a western setting generally robs them of some of the best elements. The urban setting being pretty vital. I do recall those NIGGER CHARLEY movies, also featuring Williamson and one of which also directed by Larry G. Spangler who also helmed this film, being pretty neat though. AKA JOSHUA THE BLACK RIDER

Saturday, April 17, 2021


  This is a pretty slow-burn of a giallo film involving an investigator for an insurance company looking into why a guy took out a policy right before getting snuffed on a spookhouse ride. The title is way more exciting than anything that really happens in the film(a dead gal does end up nude on a lawn at one point though). You do get ample nudity, humping, a slit neck and some unexpected Nazi connections in the uncut version. Avoid earlier bootleg releases which cut out some of the plot elements if you're gonna watch this at all. 

 Director Alfonso Brescia would go on to make a bunch of wacky Italian STAR WRS rip-offs like WAR OF THE ROBOTS

Known in Spain under the extra-wordy title of YOUNG MAN FROM GOOD FAMILY SUSPECTED OF MURDER:

Released on video in Sweden as NAKED VICTIM!:

Thursday, April 15, 2021


  This Joe D'Amato-directed slice of Eurosleaze starts off with a bang as our titular character, Papaya, chomps off a gentleman's genitals (which explains the alternate title of PAPAYA: LOVE GODDESS OF THE CANNIBALS) making me think I was in for something quite gory. Unfortunately ol' Joe then shifts gears and gives us a pretty unexciting sex flick concerning some islanders who are upset about a nuclear power plant being built on their land. You do get weird native orgies and a couple of dead pigs sliced open which is pretty gross. So if you want a couple of gross-outs while watching lesbianism and naked natives frolic about this might be worth a look. I didn't think it was a great example of either a cannibal flick or a sexploitation flick but still an interesting mash-up similar to D'Amato's BLACK EMANUELLE  films from this time minus the lovely Laura Gemser.    

                                      So much bush for Youtube!:

Tuesday, April 13, 2021


  The DVD I have of this is titled CALENDAR GIRLS but the onscreen title shows that it's actually the last part of THE YOUNG SEDUCERS trilogy. Luckily it doesn't seem to have any real plot to worry about and is instead just a series of sexual vignettes told by a gal(Ingrid Steeger) who has run away from a Catholic all-girls school. German star Steeger is very easy on the eyes and things are pretty explicitly shown but do stop short of being hardcore porn despite following a very porn-like formula. Sadly Ingrid only gets nekkid in the last couple of scenes. There's also some very lame comedy thrown in. 

 This has also been released on video as SCHOOL GIRLS 7: CALENDAR GIRLS making it part of a VHS series that I'm not familiar with but would like to learn about. 


  So if you ever wanted to see a movie where samurai take on a platoon of a modern army(or technically a Japanese self-defense force in this case) this is the film for you. Sonny Chiba is our out-of-time squadron leader and while he's always great, even without displaying his karate skills, the 2 hour 20 minute runtime is a bit much. Also I think this group could have most likely taken out most of the samurai fairly easily, given that a modern-day army has vastly superior long-range weaponry, if they just didn't get so close to them. Some expected raping and pillaging takes place. The oddest thing, to me, about this film is that it's technically a sci-fi film but almost none of the science to what has actually happened is explored. Director Keiso Saito(who also gave us the overly long NINJA WARS) was clearly more interested in transposing two completely different eras than time-travel theories. Maybe watch this in 2 sittings for a better time. 

 The English dubbed version throws in some rock ballads which seem totally out of place. AKA G.I. SAMURAI, TIME SLIP and I WANT TO BE A SDF

                              Known in France as THE WARRIORS OF THE APOCALYPSE:

Tuesday, April 6, 2021


 I feel like this is a movie that I should like more than I do. It's a well-shot Japanese action/crime flick with a cool leading man(Yuusaka Matsuda) doing cool stuff but despite this I couldn't really get into it. Perhaps the highly convoluted plot about a salaryman trying to take over his company wasn't for me or maybe it was the running time of over 2 hours that turned me off. The first thing that ticked me off though is that I own this film as part of a Sonny Chiba box-set and Mr. Chiba is not in very much of this. His small appearance was a highlight for me though. Another thing I couldn't fathom is how the main character goes from having a crazy semi-afro-looking hair-do to having a very conservative haircut whenever he was at his day-job. I realize it's supposed to be a wig but how does he fit all that curly hair under there?

 Apparently this was way more popular with Japanese folks though(perhaps due to star Matsuda's early death in 1980 making him something of a cult figure) because in 1999 it became a T.V. series called HUNT OF A NEW WOLF. I'm assuming it was a bit less violent but then again Japanese T.V. is pretty wild!

                                                  Great action sequence!:

Saturday, April 3, 2021


 After watching the crappy Gordon Liu BREAKOUT FROM OPRESSION I figured I would give this one a shot since it couldn't possibly be much worse. Luckily it's not. It's also a totally different type of film replacing the kung fu with horror/thriller elements here. The plot deals with a lady who is wrongfully sent to prison for 12 years after being wrongly convicted of murder and then her attempts to get her life together after that. Things don't go very smoothly and more people end up getting snuffed. Very effective atmosphere and ending, which is seemingly swiped from FRIDAY THE 13th, and cool plot which successfully throws a twist in.    

 This film originally was released in Taiwan as EXPOSED TO DANGER in 1982 before being dubbed and re-christened by IFD films in Hong Kong. Thankfully they didn't feel the need to throw any ninjas into this, as they were wont to do, or really do much editing, besides dubbing it into English and throwing the band Tangerine Dream onto the soundtrack, from what I can tell. 

                                                                      Original flavor!: