KISS ME MONSTER (1969)

                      

 The 2 sexy secret agents(Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni) from SADISTEROTICA return in this sequel. Just like that movie this was advertised in America as a horror flick which it is not. You get another goofy James Bond-inspired romp. A lot of nonsense and comedy bits ensue which is not what one usually comes to director Jess Franco for, There is one scene of a bloody surgery(only included in the English version), go-go dancing and some black hooded baddies that look like bizarro-world Ku Klux Klansmen but not much else stands out in this. 

ZEIRAM (1991)

  Pretty simple Japanese sci-fi flick about a bounty hunter(Yuko Moriyama) and her computer sidekick Bob come to Earth to capture a monster/biological weapon named Zeiram. Reminiscent of John Carpenter's THE THING in the way it can transform throughout the movie. They throw in a couple of goofy electricians(phone repairmen?) for a laughs. Some great practical FX work make this worth a look for people into that sort of thing or maybe just fans of ULTRAMAN. 

 While this would seem like something that was based on a prior animated show it wasn't but there would be an animated version in 1994 and also a live-action sequel that same year(which from what I've read is really just an inferior remake). 

THE DIABOLICAL DR. Z (1966)

  Jess Franco kind of makes a sequel to THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF even though there already was one in 64, and while this isn't my favorite Franco it is definitely better than that one. Our main character here Dr. Z, and his daughter, continue Orloff's work which of course brings us down the EYES WITHOUT A FACE road but also focuses more on seeking revenge using mind control with the help of a big clunky machine with robot arms. Some cool visuals and sexy gals even if it drags a bit at times. 

THE FISH WITH THE EYES OF GOLD (1974)

  This is the first fish-based giallo I've ever seen. Besides that though it's kinda forgettable. This is an example of Spain taking a shot at the giallo genre and it's a pretty weak attempt. You get a couple of bloody stabbings, childhood trauma, lots of potential suspects and an obsession with fish. For obscure giallo completists only.

16th FLOOR (1971)

  I think this is supposed to be one of those educational drug scare films but it never seems all that scary. There is some biblical allegory going on since our main character is named Eve and the drug dealer here has a theme song about being a serpent. It was funded by a tire company but I'm not sure why. I guess it's worth a look if you like weird drug shorts and lots of hippie music. 

BLOOD BEAT (1983)

   This is kind of a slasher movie  mixed with supernatural horror and it really doesn't make much sense. It's filmed in Wisconsin yet our killer is a Samurai who goes around killing people with his sword. Is he a ghost? Well nothing is ever really all that clearly laid out by the movie so good luck figuring it all out. There's also a bunch of ESP stuff going on, people that can shoot glowing cartoon beams thanks to their psychic powers and a gal who orgasms while are killer is snuffing people out. While I can't say this is a great movie I do appreciate when they try something different in a slasher flick and this is about as different as they come. 

 Despite IMDB claiming this was shot-on-video it was actually shot on 35mm film. It was released straight to video though.  

RING OF DEATH (1969)

  Going into this I was thinking this would be a giallo and it kinda/sorta is because you're dealing with people getting killed but the movie focuses more on Franco Nero as a corrupt detective who's trying to figure out who's doing all the killing, and kicking anyone's ass that gets in his way, making it seem more like one of those politziotesche films. Eithr way it was kind of a disappointment. There's too much dialogie and not enough action and Nero comes off as a pretty scummy character that is hard to get behind.  AKA DETECTIVE BELLI(in case that other title is too exciting for you)

CASTLE OF THE CREEPING FLESH (1968)

 Spanish horror(though it was shot in Germany) that takes place(mostly) in an old castle. While this is not your standard haunted castle situation it's kinda hard to decipher exactly what's going on here. Howard Vernon plays a mad scientist trying to bring his daughter back to life with the help of a bunch of gross open-heart surgery footage. There's a bloody wild bear attack, multiple rapes, drunken partying and gratuitous use of a speech from Shakespeare's HAMLET. There's also ample nudity and Janine Reynaud(from Jess Franco's TWO UNDERCOVER ANGELS) getting it on. Franco is also credited as the writer of this which makes sense when you watch it. This was probably pretty shocking stuff in 1968. 

 Apparently the original Spanish version has a longer ending but I'm not sure I'd want to watch a longer version of this. 

 AKA APPOINTMENT WITH LUST, CASTLE OF BLOODY LUST, IN THE CASTLE OF BLOODY LUST, CASTLE OF LUST and CASTLE OF UNHOLY DESIRES

DJANGO KILLS SILENTLY (1967)

  The idea of casting George Eastman of ANTHROPOPHAGUS fame as the hero in this appeals greatly to me. Sadly most of the film isn't all that exciting despite having the tallest guy to ever play Django in it. You get women and kid-killing Mexican bandits and the usual spaghetti-western plot. For completists or big Eastman fanatics only. 

              AKA DJANGO KILL SOFTLY(that's sounds pretty nice!):

DJANGO AND SARTANA'S SHOWDOWN IN THE WEST (1970)

 You know how in biker movies they have a bunch of long scenes of guys riding their bikes to stretch out the run time? Well here we get them riding their horses instead. You also get former Hercules star Gordon Mitchell as the head of a gang of outlaws, Django(not played by Franco nero) and Sartana(not played by Gianni Garko) who despite the title promising us will have a showdown actually team-up towards the very end of the movie. Not the best spaghetti-western I've seen but it seems to have been shot pretty well with the usual beautiful scenery on display. AKA DJANGO AND SARTAN ARE COMING... IT'S THE END, FINAL CONFLICT... DJANGO AGAINST SARTANA and SARTANA IF YOUR LEFT ARM OFFENDS CUT IF OFF. 

 Director Demofilo Fidani had made a couple of previous Sartana movies(SHADOW OF SARTANA and FOUR CAME TO KILL SARTANA) and one previous Sartana Meets Django film(ONE DAMN DAY AT DAWN... DJANGO MEETS SARTANA!) all with various Sartanas and Djangos.

 

THE BOOGENS (1981)

 This basically plays like a 50s monster movie brought up to date for the 80s. Our monsters are pretty hidden for most of the runtime up until the end where we see that they're just giant bugs. Not terrible for what it is but what a stupid title! 

HOLY WEDNESDAY (1974)

  Also known under the title FANGS, which make this sound like more of an animals-attack movie(which it kinda-sorta is) I first caught this one as part of an all day horror movie marathon and this was by far the highlight of the day. Obviously taking it's inspiration from WILLARD(and more directly STANLEY since it features a man who really loves snakes!) it veers off quite a bit for a large chunk of the movie and just plays like a crazy hicksploitation film. Large Marge(Alice Nunn) has a big part as one of our protagonists, bestiality, go-go dancing, theological discussions on the nature of meat-eating and marching band music also play a part in this. The underlying message here seems to be don't fuck with a man's schedule! An exploitation classic that needs to be seen more. AKA SNAKELUST

DEATH DORM (1982)

  Probably best known as THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD this one is a pretty substandard 80s slasher flick that takes place in an empty dorm that's going to be demolished. Features future star Daphne Zuniga, who also shows up in another not much better slasher called THE INITIATION. There is one driller-killer scene and they throw in a twist ending but beyond that there's not much to recommend this one. AKA PRANKS(even though there aren't really any big important pranks to speak of)