UP THE ACADEMY (1980)

 A young Ralph Macchio, before he became THE KARATE KID, is the Italian/Mafia kid in a group of typical 80's teen-sex comedy types sent to a military academy where stupid hi-jinks ensue. You get the fat kid, the black kid, a wacky Arab kid, and the normal kid who's trying to get laid. It's basically an ANIMAL HOUSE-rip-off and as with pretty much all of these types of films everything that happens is dumb and completely politically-incorrect which is exactly what you want from a teen sex flick. Unfortunately this one lacks in the boob department with a total of zero exposed fun-bags. There is a lot of cleavage though, much of which supplied by Barbara Bach as a boner-inducing teacher. Other notable appearances include Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargas and Tom Poston as a super gay-stereotype teacher of ballroom dancing. This was presented by Mad Magazine and it is pretty true to their style of ridiculousness. In a couple of creepy spots their mascot, Alfred E. Neuman, himself shows up. Strangely in the TV showings of this Alfred was cut out of these scenes. Apparently Mad wasn't very proud of this epic and had their name removed from the credits or something. What elevates this one above many of the other teen comedy movies of this time, for me anyway, is it's soundtrack which is filled with some awesome power pop and punk jams. While clearly not amusing to everyone I say check it out for some cheap low-brow knuckle-headed laughs.