KUNG FU STUDENT (1989)

               

For a movie titled KUNG FU STUDENT you might think there would be a bunch of kung fu on display but there really isn't. What you get is basically a silly comedy about a nerdy girl(Lin Hsiao-Lao) who gets involved with a ghost of a gangster(Alexander Lo Rei). It all starts with her farting out his spirit which should give you a good idea of the type of slapstick we're dealing with here. it mostly plays like a wacky buddy cop film and we do get more action and fighting as we get towards the big finale. Very dumb but good for a few chuckles here and there. AKA MAGIC GIRL(a more fitting title)

This starts out like a straight-forward action flick but alas all is not what it seems:

CLAN OF THE WHITE LOTUS (1980)

  This Shaw Brothers kung fu flick is actually a sequel to 1977's EXECUTIONERS OF DEATH (there was also another sequel in '79 called ABBOT OF SHAOLIN but I've yet to see that one) and starts right out with the final scene from the previous film. It's also kinda similar with another Pei-Mei character, named The White Lotus in the subtitled version I watched and called Pak Mei in the dubbed version, so it also gets called a remake frequently. Besides the more typical tiger and crane style martial arts there's a feminine embroidery kung fu and even some acupuncture-fu. This one goes from being silly to being a bloody tale of revenge, sometimes even in the same fight scene, but it all worked for me and if you're a Shaw Brothers fam at all this is one to check out.

                                    AKA FISTS OF THE WHITE LOTUS:

DEATH RIVALS OF SHAOLIN (1972)

  Fairly typical evil Japanese karate guys vs. good Chinese kung fu guys flick. A lot of kung fu movies are nothing but non-stop fight scenes but this one has a whole long stretch in the middle where nothing really happens. They do sorta make up for that with the long-ass 30 minute end fight scene which includes some car-fu and police-baton-fu. Overall a pretty forgettable one especially since it has a whole bunch of aliases including KUNG FU: THE INVINCIBLE FIST, KUNG FU: THE INVISIBLE FIST, THE REAL DRAGON, THE GOOD AND THE BAD and TIGER VS. DRAGON.

BLOOD MONEY (1974)

  Better known as THE STRANGER AND THE GUNFIGHTER this is a spaghetti-western mixed with a kung fu flick(heavier on the western and way lighter on the kung fu though despite being a co-production of Shaw Brothers studio). You get Lee Van Cleef and Lo Lieh searching for a Chinese treasure by looking at the asses of various women(one of which is cult favorite Erika Blanc) who have clues tattooed on them. I do tend to like these mashups and despite lots of goofy comedic moments this one isn't terrible. My favorite of these types of films, which there aren't very many to choose from, is probably THE FIGHTING FIST OF SHANGHAI JOE.

Known in Italy as THE BRUTE, THE COLT AND THE KARATE:

RUN AND KILL (1993)

   One of the rougher and better Hong Kong category III movies I've seen in a while. This one features Fatty(Kent Cheng) who gets himself mixed up with not just one but 2 mobster factions that you don't want to be involved with. You get lots of violent fighting, various murders, torture and a very notorious child death scene. For hardcore Hong Kong  fans only.

 The first time I saw this was in a little art theater near me and it was hosted by the author of a book titled THE SWEETEST TABOO which was a look at child death in films and this was the very fitting film which they chose to exemplify that. 

GOLDEN SUN (1975)

 Known in America alternately as THE DRAGON DIES HARD and BRUCE LEE, WE MISS YOU, this is the story of a big Bruce Lee fan(Bruce Li, who also just so happens to look a lot like Bruce!) who discovers Mr. Lee is dead and then naturally decides to take it upon himself to investigate the mystery surrounding his demise. This leads to many kung fu fights. You get the ghostly spirit of Bruce Lee that shows up every once in a while.  The highlight here for me though has to be what is the weirdest reenactment of the moment Lee dies where he's jumping around like a spaz! 

 Some footage from 2 other kung fu flicks(THE SHANGHAI KILLERS and THE SCREAMING TIGER) are allegedly edited into this. 

 The actually release date of this movie is listed as anywhere from 1972 to 1977 depending on who you want to believe. Bruce Lee didn't actually die until 1973 so anything before that is obviously a little off!

THE INCREDIBLE KUNG FU MASTER (1979)

  They shoulda probably called this THE 2 INCREDIBLE KUNG FU MASTERS since the plot revolves around a couple of teachers who start off as buddies but then due to jealousy open up rival martial arts schools. Sammo Hung plays another adept fighter who, as usual, likes to eat a lot. A mix of comedy and seriousness that never really works all that well. AKA KUNG FU MASTER NAMED DRUNK CAT and THE KUNG FU MASTER. Released on video as THEY CALL ME PHAT DRAGON.

Crappy old VHS cover:

RETURN OF THE FAT DRAGON (1993)

  This was originally titled KING SWINDLER which would explain why it's not really a sequel to Sammo Hung's ENTER THE FAT DRAGON. It is similar to that movie in that it is a comedy. This time though we get way less kung fu and way more scenes of annoying little kids. For almost a third of the film Sammo is sent to jail and we focus on these kids getting into hijinks which really gives this an Asian LITTLE RASCALS feel. There is some gross-out humour including snot-eating, fart-gags and a piss-filled balloon to the face so that's something. A bit too shmaltzy for anyone besides real hardcore Sammo fans. 

Fun fact: Stolen music from the horror flick TOURIST TRAP pops up when the 2 little kids are held hostage.

Sammo is called The Oriental Turtle but sadly never wears this Ninja Turtle outfit that appears in the posters:

BKO: BANGKOK KNOCKOUT (2010)

 Exhausting amount of insane stunt work and wall-to-wall fight scenes pretty accurately describe most of this Thai martial arts fest. The story is pretty basic and involves a bunch of fighters who end up in some staged event, being gambled on by some rich folks, where they have to fight for their life. There's ninjas, a masked axe-wielding maniac right out of a slasher movie, fights on motorbikes, cars, trucks and all kinds of Muay Thai madness going on. Not the most complex plot and while it moves along swiftly it can be a bit tiresome at a one hour and 46 minute runtime.  

HUMAN LANTERNS (1982)

  The Shaw Brothers studios give us a kung fu  movie mixed with some pretty hardcore horror elements here in this tale of a couple of opposing martial arts masters who get involved with a psycho lantern-maker who uses human skin for his snazzy products. As you can guess things get pretty bloody as women are kidnapped and hacked up in something that might remind you of THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE PART 2 mixed with a more standard revenge-fueled Shaw outing. Our killer even wears a crazy monkey outfit with a skull mask for extra fright-inducing. A good one for kung fu maniacs also into bloody horror. AKA HUMAN SKIN LANTERNS

VAMPIRE BUSTER (1989)

 Not really a vampire movie but more of a demon situation. You see this demon lost a fight a long time ago and got itself trapped in a vase which ends up getting tossed around in a comedic fashion. Most of this movie is in fact a comedy and not very horrific so if that's your thing this might be for you. 

 The DVD I have of this calls it NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS and since this is also not a ninja movie I have to reduce even more points for that! AKA GHOST CATCHING MASTER(the only accurate title!)

Communist wackos lead to demonic hijinks. Sounds about right:

British video box!:

LADY STREET FIGHTER (1977)

  Not to be confused with the Japanese SISTER STREET FIGHTER film this is an American action flick filmed in either 1977 or 1975 depending on what website you choose to believe but allegedly not released until 1980. The story involves a hitwoman(writer/producer Renee Harmon) who gets targeted by a gang of assassins who kill her twin sister. From there it's a revenge-o-rama which also shoehorns in a love story, a weird orgy scene where some celery gets fellated and lots of bad dubbing. There's not a whole lot of martial arts and this is one of those movies that becomes very entertaining in its awfulness. Highlights include a full grown woman playing a 5-year old girl, a man flipping the bird while being burned alive and Liz Renay(of John Waters' DESPERATE LIVING fame among other things) doing a striptease. A real gem of crap cinema!

 There was a sequel made in 1990, but not released until 2018, titled REVENGE OF LADY STREET FIGHTER but from what I read that was comprised of a whole lot of the original movie with only about 10 minutes of new footage inserted. Does not sound like essential viewing.

MANTIS UNDER FALCON CLAWS (1983)

  A princess gets captured by some bandits then one of her retarded servants ends up in a Shaolin temple learning kung fu to get her back. The bad guy uses the Falcon Claw and our hero learns Mantis style hence the title. Lots of comedy with dumb sound effects goes on and a good chunk of the movie is incomprehensible. AKA MANTIS VS. FALCON

SPIRITUAL KUNG FU (1978)

  Jackie Chan gets help from some ghost with bright red Raggedy Ann hair to get revenge for some nefarious deeds involving a Shaolin temple and other leaders of the kung fu world. As you would expect there are some goofy scenes involving Jackie in between the more serious bits. One memorable part has Jackie trying to write calligraphy with a giant pen as punishment for being such a screwup.

                          Released on video in the UK as KARATE GHOSTBUSTER:

RETURN TO THE 36th CHAMBER (1980)

  While this is billed as a sequel to MASTER KILLER(THE 36th CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN) it's really not but is actually just another kung fu flick featuring Gordon Liu that involves him ending up in the Shaolin Temple learning kung fu to take revenge. This time out the revenge is for his brother and friends who work at a dye factory, get treated like shit, and get their asses kicked regularly for complaining, by their terrible bosses. It hits all the expected beats but doesn't ever come close to the original classic. AKA MASTER KILLER II and RETURN OF THE MASTER KILLER 

 There were quite a few similar roles for Liu and some unofficial sequels(this one here being the most legit just because it was actually made by The Shaw Brothers even if it doesn't follow the same character).

LETHAL ANGELS (2007)

  Picked this Hong Kong girl-power kung-fu flick up on DVD under the title of NAKED AVENGERS where it compares itself to NAKED WEAPON from 2002 which I wasn't a big fan of but I am a big fan of NAKED KILLER from 1992 so I was hoping for something along those lines. While it's not up to the heights of it's 90s predecessor it is pretty decent for something from the 2000s and I'd put it over NAKED WEAPON just for invoking a more classic category III feeling in some of it's gruesomeness which includes a scene of a whole family, including some young kids, being slaughtered by some mobsters with machetes. There is unfortunately also a love story shoehorned in to slow things down which I have to minus points for. All in all though for something made in 2007 I'm not complaining too much.  

 There's a different LETHAL ANGELS series of movies from the 1990s that has nothing to do with this film.

BATTLE CREEK BRAWL (1980)

  Released in America as THE BIG BRAWL, this was Jackie Chan's first big shot at international stardom. Kind of reminiscent of Clint Eastwood's EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE since it concerns a street fighting tournament mixed with some comedy(sadly no orangutans though). Features bald tough guy wrestler Hard Boiled Haggerty as the main baddie and Kristine DeBell from that adult version of ALICE IN WONDERLAND as Jackie's girlfriend(and even though this is set in the 1930s and we do hear people use the "chink" slur no one seems to mind this interracial couple.). A entertaining enough watch but it would take Mr. Chan another 15 years before he would really become the breakthrough star, outside of just being loved by hardcore kung fu fans, with RUMBLE IN THE BRONX.

CHINATOWN KID (1977)

  Alexander Fu Sheng, who would tragically end up dying in a car accident 6 years later at the age of 28, stars here in the tale of a poor Chinese immigrant who winds up in San Francisco's Chinatown having to deal with gangsters. It's a great vehicle for him and shows his transformation from naïve youngster to becoming part of a gang himself. It's hard not to imagine that in some alternate universe the fame that came Jackie Chan's way could have been Fu Sheng's if things had worked out differently. 

 There are at least 2 different cuts of this. A 90-minute cut with a less downbeat ending and what I find is the preferable  115-minute version with a lot more of a deadly conclusion and some additional scenes of Fu Sheng being a naughty gangster. There might also be some combination of these 2 out there. 

Germany:

CHALLENGE OF THE MASTERS (1976)

  Gordon Liu is always good in these classic Shaw Brothers kung fu flicks but this one is pretty forgettable. Also the title sounds like there might be golf involved. They do cram a message in here about forgiveness and redemption which leads to an unexpected climax but it takes quite a while to get there. 

DRAGON FIST (1979)

  This Jackie Chan kung fu flick starts out with the most basic plot of "you killed my master and now I must seek revenge" but then throws a couple of curveballs our way to spice things up. I think my favorite martial arts films are the ones where characters are not strictly good or bad but many shades of grey in-between and that certainly applies here. Even Jackie is not likable throughout the whole film but you do understand his motives making this one stand out from more typical fare.  AKA IN EAGLE DRAGON FIST and DRAGON HERO

 There are a few different cuts of this out there ranging in runtimes from 76 to 89 to 96 minutes in length.