THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS (1959)

 Director Russ Meyer starts out with his first full-length feature here. He would go on to way better stuff but the basic elements are present including the high-speed intro, the voice-over narration and most importantly the large-breasted ladies who have no problem getting naked constantly. The main problem with this film is that it really doesn't have any plot beyond our title character(Bill Teas) who goes door-to-door and runs into sexy ladies that he fantasizes about being in the nude. Also it gets really repetitive especially with their being no dialogue and just some wonky jazz tunes playing over the various nature romps and it's all extremely easy to fall asleep to. It does have some historical value though since this was the first of the nudie-cutie flicks that wasn't presented as a documentary on nudism but basically just sleazy titillation for it's own sake, so that's something. Nowadays this probably works better as background visuals at some slimy dive-bar than it does as a real movie-viewing experience but if you can make it through 60 minutes or so of grandpa porn, that sometimes feels way longer, give it a gander.

VIXEN! (1968)

 This is a pretty entertaining Russ Meyer flick. It also helps that the movie is only about 70 minutes long which keep things moving along rapidly without much lag. Meyer has a distinctive style of sexploitation movie which you can tell by the super-stylized acting and ultra-wacky pretty cartoonish scenarios. This one deals with a nympho lady called Vixen. There's quite a bit of racism concerning the one black biker character, stupid politics with an Irish commie weirdo plane hijacker and lots of nudity and extra-large boobs supplied by our main character(Erica Gavin). One lesbian scene seems to have been made to shock people and I imagine that woulda worked way better back in 1968. This scene is followed closely by a steamy incest scene which I don't think will ever not be at least a little shocking. Also the use of words like sambo or  nigger will certainly shock all the pearl-clutching p.c.-zombies of today way more than your average citizen in the insane 60's. So thank you for Mr. Meyer for bringing the sleazy goodness!





In the U.K. this played on a double-bill with another of Meyer's big boob films:

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (1970)

 This might be the most perfect movie ever made. I mean as far as musical/sex/drama/horror/comedies go this has got to be the best one. Probably also the only film that has that many elements and isn't a completely muddled mess. This has to be Russ Meyer's best made film and when I think of Meyer and Roger Ebert  I find it hard to imagine the two of them writing a story together but somehow in the faraway land of 1969 they came up with this insane tale that makes me think "what would happen if you dropped JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS in the middle of a drug-fueled, sex-crazed Hollywood?" And what happens includes decapitation, abortion, lesbianism, bloody murder, suicide, transvestism and all sorts of nutty behavior. I imagine if you don't dig 60's hippie music by bands like The Strawberry Alarm Clock this will not be as much fun but that's your problem. Pam Grier has her first role in this but it must be very small because I never even noticed her.
 I've never seen the original VALLEY OF THE DOLLS and I can't imagine it measures up to this one all that well but maybe I'll check it out one day.

UP! (1976)

 The last 3 Russ Meyer features (this, SUPERVIXENS and BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA-VIXENS) are all pretty similar in tone and they're also all bat-shit crazy. It's like Meyer wanted to go out with a blast and get as close to doing porn as he could without lowering himself to the gynecological-shots that pervade that genre. This one has a gay Hitler-character getting murdered in a bath-tub by a ball-biting piranha leading to a murder/mystery plot, giant fake cocks, rape, lots of ridiculous Olympics-style screwing and, of course, lots of big bouncy boobs. It's all done with a very frantic pace, a Shakespearean-Candy Samples narration and towards the end we even get a blood-soaked finale including an axe in the chest and a guy chainsawed through the belly. What more could an exploitation fan ask for?
 It's hard for me to say exactly which is my favorite of Meyer's films but this one is up there towards the top of the breast-filled heap.  AKA OVER, UNDER AND UP! and UP! SMOKEY

SUPER VIXENS (1975)

 Having seen BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA VIXENS before, this movie here looks like basically a more straight-forward version of that movie and it looks like it was shot in the same locations with the same music and really only lacks the crazy narration of BENEATH.  Then again many of Russ Meyers movies share similar themes and giant breasted actresses so this isn't all that shocking.  The one character here that stands out in a unique way is a cop played by Charles Napier who seems to have a problem getting it up for the ladies but has no problem stomping women into a bloody pulp if they make fun of his flaccid dong.  It's by far my favorite of Napier's performances and shows him at his nuttiest best.  It also seems completely out of left field that we get a psychopathic killer in the middle of a movie like this but OK.  So we get extreme violence against women added to Meyers' usual objectified women portrayed as simplistic sex maniacs and this obviously might not be for everyone but I found it a fun ride through 70's misogyny-land and after all it's really only a spoof.  Personally I think I like this flick a little more than BENEATH just because it's more coherent and less insanely frenetic as his latter opus.  Haji from FASTER PUSSYCAT, KILL, KILL also shows up for a bit which is always good to see. 

BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA-VIXENS(1979)

Russ Meyer's films seem to all take place on another world.  A world where every woman has giant breasts and is a sex-obsessed nymphomaniac.  Sort of a science fiction wonderland where everyone gets laid.  People even bleed in different colors for some reason in this particular flick.  This was Meyers return to BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS type material and it's quite the hodge-podge of craziness served up with a kinetic energy that can't be denied.  This was to be Meyers' final giant breast epic and it seems like he was trying to jam every single idea he ever had into this one film.  Using super quick cuts and some amazing shots I think he succeeds in conveying his manic fascination with monstrous tits and sex in general and the whole thing plays out like a long trailer for something incredible.  There are a couple of problems with this film though.  The plot for one never really gets going due to the insane pace of everything.  There's also a really strong anti-homosexual vibe that runs throughout the film.  The main character only gets off fucking women in the ass and this is deemed a terrible problem that he must be cured of.  There's also the ridiculous insane gay dentist character that stops at nothing to fuck our main character in his ass.  Fortunately it's hard to take anything very seriously in a movie that features humor that hovers around the 5th grade level.  Not for everyone(the endless ballyhoo dialogue just wears you down after awhile) but if you have a high tolerance for stupid sex comedies it's worth checking out.

FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! (1965)

A blueprint for everything that was great about 70's sleaze cinema. Russ Meyer creates an amazing piece of violent sleaze-filled art that has rarely been equaled in the years since. The characters are all fleshed out and at the same time caricatures of almost super-heroic proportions. The best thing Meyer has done and he does it without any actual nudity, due to it being 1966, but there is tons of cleavage. Also the best thing Tura Satana ever did and she just looks amazing playing this proto-feminist, ass-kicking, no-nonsense, homicidal, karate-chopping machine. The lines he writes are like some kind of underground pulp poetry. Go-go dancing, kung-fu women, a dirty old man, a retarded man-boy hulk, a wheelchair vs. sports-car fight, an awesome soundtrack and enormous boobs. Up there with one of my all time favs.

"Go, Go For A Wild Ride!":