BEACH BABES FROM BEYOND (1993)

 You get a cavalcade of celebrity relatives in this feature from director David DeCoteau. Joe Estevez, Don Swayze, Joey Travolta and Jackie Stallone round out that quartet. You also get TV's Robin Burt Ward and scream queen Linnea Quigley who seems to be playing a character who's supposed to be a good deal older than she obviously is. Our main beach babes, and much of the rest of the cast, are comprised of porn stars and models with very minimal acting ability. The movie itself alternates between goofy beach party movie with some goofy ass music to softcore sex flick with every scene taking way longer than it has any right to. The boobs and butts are definitely top notch though.

 There is also an unrated more explicit version of this out there and a sequel that came out in 1995 called BEACH BABES 2: CAVE GIRL ISLAND minus all the z-list "stars" that looks even worse than it's predecessor if that's possible. 

UNDERCOVER (1995)

  Fairly unremarkable softcore tale of a lady cop(Athena Massey) who goes undercover as a hooker in a whorehouse trying to find out who killed one of the ladies of the evening. Former porn director Gregory Dark directs this and you can really tell. Surprisingly Meg Foster is the madam and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who would go on to play Negan on THE WALKING DEAD show, has a big role. AKA UNDERCOVER HEAT

EMANUELLE: FIRST CONTACT (1994)

 There were a whole series of these softcore Emanuells in space films starring Krista Allen made for Cinemax(Skinemax!) back in the 90s. While she is certainly a beautiful woman to watch frolic naked this is a pretty bady-edited mess of a movie. We get a Star Trek-influenced tale of some aliens beaming down to Earth to find out the mating habits of humans, mainly by just banging a bunch of ladies. They try and shoe-horn a love triangle(rectangle?) into the ending. None of it is very engaging and I don't think I really need to watch any of the other entries in this despite their enticing titles. AKA EMMANULLE IN SPACE: QUEEN OF THE GALAXY and EMMANUELLE IN SPACE

The whole EMMANUELLE IN SPACE SERIES(all made in 1994):

1. EMMANUELLE: FIRST CONTACT

2. EMMANUELLE: A WORLD OF DESIRE

3. EMMANUELLE: A LESSON IN LOVE

4. EMMANUELLE: CONCEALED FANTASY

5. EMMANUELLE:  A TIME TO DREAM

6. EMMANUELLE: ONE FINAL FLING

7. EMMANUELLE: THE MEANING OF LOVE

https://fullxcinema.com/emmanuelle-in-space-1994/

BLOOD GAMES (1990)

  The Australian title of this as BASEBALL BIMBOS IN HILLBILLY HELL really perfectly sums up this dumb backwoods revenge flick. Our story involves a group of traveling baseball ladies, led by biker/action movie star Ross Hagen, who run afoul of some violent retarded rednecks(why there are rednecks flying confederate flags in California I'm not sure, but OK). Things get progressively more bloody and revenge-fueled as it goes on. We get a rape scene, lots of boobs(including a lovely shower scene) and countless ass-shots on display. A good trashy exploitation epic. 

 It was also nice to see George "Buck" Flowers in a big role not playing his usual drunken bum character but instead playing one of the stupid women-hating hicks.

WICKED MEMOIRS OF EUGENIE (1980)

  Director Jess Franco had already made a few Eugenie films with similar plotlines throughout the 70s. This includes 1970's EUGENIE... THE STORY OF HER JOURNEY INTO PERVERSION and then EUGENIE in '73. While Uncle Jess was no stranger to reusing plots it seems to me that oftentimes his original versions were better than his rehashes. In this one you get Lina Romay as the slave of a rich couple who thinks she's a dog(does this count as bestiality? or is it just being a furry but without the costume?). There's a staircase that almost looks like that one in that M.C. Esher painting which I guess adds to the psychedelic feeling of it all. There's, of course, lots of nudity and sleazy components. Our Eugenie here, Katja Bienert, is only 15 years old if you go by her IMDB birthdate so let's hope that is not correct(this was 70s Europe though so who knows?) since she's pretty naked for a lot of this. Sadly most of this is pretty slow and snooze-inducing though so check out his earlier Eugenie's first. AKA EUGENIE...HISTORY OF A PERVERSION and EROTISMO

EUGENIE...THE STORY OF HER JOURNEY INTO PERVERSION (1970)

 Not to be confused with director Jess Franco's later EUGENIE movie or his even later WICKED MEMOIRS OF EUGENIE, from 1980, this Eugenie helped kick off the sleazier era of Franco's filmography by telling the story of a young girl(Marie Liljedahl) corrupted by a couple of pervy rich jerks(Jack Taylor and Maria Rohm) who really dig the writings of the Marquis De Sade. Some whipping, murders and perviness ensues. Christopher Lee shows up for a couple of brief scenes(he claims he didn't know how "adult" this film was going to be when he agreed to be in it) and lots of Eurobush is on display.  A fairly tame film for the subject matter but much more hardcore sleaze was to come from Franco in this decade! AKA DE SADE 70

THE INFERNAL RAPIST (1988)

  Initially while looking at the Blu-ray cover I assumed this was one of those Hong Kong Category III movies or possibly something from Japan. Turns out it is basically a Mexican version of one of those super sleazy films. Filled to the brim with rape(of women and men!) and knife murder this one really delivers what is promised from it's lurid title. A sexy Satan, laser beams shot out of eyes, telekinesis and other black magic all add up to a fun romp through this south-of-the-border roughie. As a bonus Princesa Lea, from the world's greatest Mexican punk-biker movie INTEPIDOS PUNKS, shows up and has a pretty spectacular death scene. While it may get a bit monotonous for some viewers, this movie has a very one-track mind, I think it will certainly please hardcore sleazemaniacs. 

ARABELLA: BLACK ANGEL (1989)

 Not a blaxploitation flick but rather a very late entry trashy giallo movie about a nymphomaniac lady(Tini Cansino) who spices up her marriage by going to a weird Eurotrash whore house and maybe or maybe not killing various people. Very sex-filled and plays out like a softcore late-night Cinemax-type movie mixed with a bloody murder mystery. Filled with some ultra-80s fashions and some very hot ladies who are often naked this one is definitely a spicy and unique entry into any giallo marathon you might partake in. AKA BLACK ANGEL

THE VAMPIRE AND SEX (1969)

 There are 2 different versions of this movie starring Santo the silver-masked wrestling legend(who also plays a scientist here for some inexplicable reason). The one I viewed recently is the sexier nudity-filled cut. In this Dracula likes to pull down gals tops and inspect their large breasts before biting them on the neck. There are a bunch of sexy vampire women, super fake bats, time travel and gratuitous wrasslin' scenes to go along with the nekkidness. This is the 20th film(out of 52!) in the Santo filmography and certainly the sexiest!

 The original tamer version is titled SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA and has been used on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER before.

SWEDISH GAS PUMPS GIRLS (1980)

  This Eurotrash sex/softcore-porn movie is supposed to be a sequel to SIX SWEDISH GIRLS IN A BOARDING SCHOOL and it's pretty much exactly the same as that one. Brigitte Lahaie and friends are back screwing anyone that stops at their gas station. In this fantasyland apparently STDs are nonexistent. The bicycle with the dildo in the seat from the first movie becomes a stationary bike with a dildo now. Exactly what you expect with not many surprises beyond the gag with the TV-set that can see and interact with the horny people around it. AKA SIX SWEDES AT A PUMP, SWEDISH EROTIC SEXATIONS, HIGH TEST GIRLS and FRIENDLY FAVORS

H.O.T.S. (1979)

 This was originally supposed to be title T & A ACADEMY and that might be the perfect title to describe what you get here. A very obviously ANIMAL HOUSE-influenced story of a group of girls getting revenge on a snooty sorority by creating their own group called H.O.T.S.(what that actually stands for is only revealed at the end of the movie) and stealing away all their men. A very stupid movie that includes bumbling cops and mobsters(one of which dons a robot suit at one point), a post-PATRIDGE FAMILY Danny Bonaduce as a rocking student, nekkid sky-diving, various nekkid Playboy playmates of the era, a bear and a seal as mascots, fat girl jokes that will offend your progressive blue-haired friends, sped-up BENNY HILL running, a conehead and ends it all with a strip football match. There's plenty of T & A on display and if you can handle the the extreme dumbness this is a fun ride. 

 Interestingly Cheri Caffaro, star of the GINGER series of sexploitation films in the 70s, was one of the co-writers of this but doesn't appear in the film.

 

                         Released on video in Germany as simply AMERICAN TEENS!:

HORRIFYING EXPERIMENTS OF S.S. LAST DAYS(1977)

  Best known as THE BEAST IN HEAT this is one those nazisploitation flicks that came out in the wake of ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE S.S. and it might be one of the sleaziest of the bunch. Macha Magall, who seems to have specialized in sleazy Italian cinema is our Ilsa stand-in and she spends pretty much the whole movie torturing various captives. This includes castration, water torture, ripping off fingernails and being eaten alive by some pretty calm-looking guinea pigs among other things. Of course the main focus is on Salvatore Baccaro as the title character who has been experimented on in order to become a raping/cannibalistic monster. His hobbies include pubic-hair eating and generally not being very nice to vaginas. There is the expected comeuppance dealt out at the end but still not the most feel-good film. Definitely memorable in it's debauchery though. AKA SS HELL CAMP and SS EXPERIMENT LOVE CAMP 2(making this a sequel to Sergio Garrone's 1976 Nazi movie)  

Video title:

THE LAKE OF THE LIVING DEAD (1981)

  Better known as ZOMBIE LAKE(or ZOMBIES LAKE on some prints) this is a movie so crappy that allegedly director Jess Franco turned it down(who then quickly went on to make the equally crappy OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES). It's been credited to Jean Rollin, at least partially, Spanish director Julian de Laserna is blamed for about half of the film, though this is his only credit. The main problem with this movie is that the pacing is so dreadfully slow it's almost as if it's daring the viewer to remain interested in anything that's going on. On the plus side there's plenty of nudity(at least in the unclothed version; all the nudie scenes were also shot with clothing, so watch out for that edition!) and maybe a few laughs at how badly done everything is(including how every time we see the lake from underwater it magically transforms into a swimming pool!). You get very minimal gore as these creatures only bite the necks of their victims like vampires. This is one of the only zombie films I've seen where 2 zombies fight each other. Sadly this scene, like pretty much everything else here, is shot in super slow-motion. I have watched this more times than I can recall though outside of the boobs and bare ladies crotches on display I'm not sure why. 

 This did play one year on Halloween on a local UHF channel and if you think watching this movie uncut is bad imagine it without any nudity and commercials thrown in to slow it down even more!

 

CHEERLEADER CAMP (1988)

 I've been revisiting a few movies that I thought were terrible when I first watched them lately and this qualifies as one of those. It is still terrible but there area few bright points, especially if you have very low standards and just want to see some tits and ass in a dumb slasher movie that also seems to be trying to be a comedy. The funny bits are never really all that humorous, there's a fat guy that is pretty grating and the kill scenes are not very gory or inspired. There is a decent cult movie cast though featuring Betsey Russel(who I mainly know as having played Angel in the 3rd ANGEL movie), Lucinda Dickey(star of NINJA III: THE DOMINATION and BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO), Teri Weigel(who went from Playboy to hardcore porn), Leif Garrett(former teen idol) and George 'Buck' Flowers doing  his traditional old homeless bum shtick. It's too bad there's not much for any of them to do beyond the girls looking fantastic! 

 Strangely this is a U.S.A./Japan co-production which I never would have guessed except I know slasher movies were popular in Japan at the time(probably boobs were also). AKA BLOODY POM POMS

                                                                    Turkish poster!:

SIX SWEDISH GIRLS IN A BOARDING SCHOOL (1979)

  Directed by Erwin C. Dietrich, who I know mainly as a producer of Jess Franco films, this is a chronicle of the sexual adventures of  7(despite what the title says) schoolgirls. Brigitte Lahaie is the only girl I recognize from a bunch of French pornos and is my favorite of the bunch. There's lesbianism, virginity taking and an ingenious invention of a bicycle with a dildo built into the seat. The plot is about as basic as your typical porn from this era and it all ends in a big dumb party.  Mindless sexploitation that gets very tedious. AKA SIX SWEDES ON CAMPUS, BOARDING SCHOOL GIRLS, SWEDISH GIRLS and UNTAMED SEX

             Of all the alternate titles this has the U.S. DVD release gives us one that it never even had:

EVIL TOWN (1987)

  Well this is a pretty big mess of a film. Apparently it was released in 1977 under the title of DR. SHAGETZ but then sometime in the mid 80s some new footage, featuring big 80s boobs!, was shot and added and it was given the EVIL TOWN moniker. I'm not sure if either version got much of a release before it ended up on video though. 

 The plot deals with a mad doctor(Dean Jagger, called Dr. Schaeffer and not Dr. Shagetz in the version I watched) who is searching for a way to keep people alive forever using pituitary gland juice or something of that nature. It jumps back and forth between some 70s campers and some 80s chicks being captured and raped by a couple of hicks. A very jarring mess but the boobs are nice to ogle. 

 One of the four directors credited on this, Mardi Rustam, went on to kinda/sorta remake this as EVILS OF THE NIGHT which I found way more entertaining. Oddly it was also released before EVIL TOWN on good ol' VHS. 

                                                                 

                                                                     Original recipe!:

CAGED WOMEN (1991)

 By the time this came out, in 1991, there must have been something like 100 movies that already used the title CAGED WOMEN so that gives you some idea of the creativity and originality involved in this Italian/ Portugese co-produced women-in-prison flick. Packed full of boobs and degradation though it certainly delivers what you'd expect from this sub-genre. Main gal, Pilar Orive, who seems to have had a very small acting career in the 90s, is certainly not hard to look at completely naked throughout most of the film. While nothing particularly exceptional happens here they do manage to jam in a THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME homage to bring it all to a close. Good watch for sleazoid completists. AKA CAGED WOMEN IN PURGATORY

 

             Known in France under the very unsexy title of HIGH SECURITY DISTRICT:

THE SWINGING STEWARDESSES (1971)

 If I've gained nothing else from watching a bunch of Swedish/Swiss sex films recently I now appreciate the beauty of Ingrid Steeger more than I ever did before. She's really the main draw of most of these films and this one is no exception. Not really any sort of a plot to speak of here. Some stewardesses get naked and get laid. Most of the movie doesn't even take place on a plane so it's really just the most basic standard soft-core sex flick that's a series of sexy scenes strung together. Has a bunch of AKA's including STEWARDESS REPORT, SWEET SENSATIONS and NAKED STEWARDESSES

          Rated X when shown in America but this was still before X was hardcore and explicit:

THE GIRLS OF THE GOLDEN SALOON (1975)

  So it's the old-west and there's a whorehouse above a saloon and women are kidnapped and forced to work there. I thought this movie was gonna follow the women-in-prison template but things never really get all that serious. In fact pretty much all the raping and imprisoning of women is just done for laughs which makes for a pretty inconsequential viewing experience. It is weird to see a Eurocine production that's also a period piece that requires western sets. I would not have thought that they ever had the budget for such things but apparently this film was a re-edited version of 1963's  THE SIGN OF THE COYOTE, which would explain where the more extravagant settings came from and also the hodge-podge nature of everything that happens, with new sex scenes inserted. Also this is allegedly a sequel to 1972's RED HOT ZORRO but having never seen that I can't say how much of an actual follow-up it is. Very skippable unless you really wanna see a sexy western, a Zorro homage, a naked fat lady or lots of Euro-bush and floppy dicks. 

 Shown in France on this sexy double-bill with HOUSE OF CRUEL DOLLS(another Eurocine production, this one co-written by Jess Franco!):

VANESSA (1977)

 This EMMANUELLE rip-off flick from Germany starts out in a similar way to the Australian sex flick FELICITY that I also recently watched(and is included in a sexy DVD box-set with this one) where a young gal(Olivia Pascal here) starts of in a Catholic school and then ends up in Hong Kong discovering their sexuality. Of course that template was set back in 1974 with the first EMMANUELLE movie being set in the orient. I guess Hong Kong was just a sexy and exotic place to shoot these sort of films. Well you get plenty of sexy lady nudity here including full Eurobush so it's definitely a visual treat if that's what you're into. The plot, as usual, is down around the classic porn level and is just an excuse to shoot some more ample nudity.

                                                       Saucy "whore" scene!: