THE ETERNAL EVIL OF ASIA (1995)

                                         "The cup noodle is not good to your health!"

 If I've learned anything from watching a bunch of these Hong Kong category III movies it's that you should never piss off a Wizard and unfortunately that's what our protagonists do here. This one really throws a lot of bizarre elements into quite the stew of oddball horror. You get a guy literally becoming a dickhead, an evil wizard couple who do that fucking-while-flying act just like in 1991'a SEX AND ZEN, rape, a good witch, a guy who eats the flesh off his own arm, little kid death and of course wildly out of place comedy among other things. You don't find anything to amaze you in this you weren't paying attention. 

 There was an ETERNAL EVIL OF ASIA 2: DEVIL'S WOMAN that came out the following year but I believe it was a sequel in name only. 

THE HOLY VIRGIN VERSUS THE EVIL DEAD (1991)

  Lots of nudity featured in this kung fu/horror mash-up.  A "moon monster" is on the bloody rampage in Hong Kong until the movie relocates to Cambodia and we get a tribal goddess/holy virgin with a magical sword involved in the ass-kicking action. Lots of gun-fu, a piranha attack, a magic sword, a tranny god with a Freddie Mercury moustache and some gory kills. 

 I did see this as part of a 12-hour marathon recently in the local weirdo movie theater so the main thing I recall from this were the boobs. 

 This has nothing to do with the EVIL DEAD series but it's still a cool title.

HORRORS OF MALFORMED MEN (1969)

  This one starts out as a mystery, with our main character(Teruo Yoshida) suffering from amnesia while locked up in an insane asylum, before taking a sharp turn into all out wackiness territory resembling something that would later be made by Alejandro Jodorwsky. Including incest, various deformities, unelected extreme surgery, torture, slavery and lots of boobs director Teruo Ishii doesn't fail to elicit some kind of response in the viewer which in most cases will probably be revulsion. This adaption of the writings of Edogawa Rampo doesn't shy away from some pretty gruesome depictions of violence that I can't believe would even be dreamt of in American cinema of this era. It certainly seems to be the echoes of a country that saw some pretty extreme real-life horror after having two nuclear bombs dropped on it. Check it out if you love bizarre movies.

BREAKOUT FROM OPRESSION (1985)

 After watching the crappy Gordon Liu BREAKOUT FROM OPRESSION I figured I would give this one a shot since it couldn't possibly be much worse. Luckily it's not. It's also a totally different type of film replacing the kung fu with horror/thriller elements here. The plot deals with a lady who is wrongfully sent to prison for 12 years after being wrongly convicted of murder and then her attempts to get her life together after that. Things don't go very smoothly and more people end up getting snuffed. Very effective atmosphere and ending, which is seemingly swiped from FRIDAY THE 13th, and cool plot which successfully throws a twist in.    

 This film originally was released in Taiwan as EXPOSED TO DANGER in 1982 before being dubbed and re-christened by IFD films in Hong Kong. Thankfully they didn't feel the need to throw any ninjas into this, as they were wont to do, or really do much editing, besides dubbing it into English and throwing the band Tangerine Dream onto the soundtrack, from what I can tell. 

                                                                      Original flavor!:

PURANA MANDIR (1984)

Legendary Bollywood horror film directors The Ramsay Brothers had a huge hit with this tale of a blood-thirsty demon who curses a family for generations.  The movie played in India for many years, went on to spawn a few sequels and created a legendary monster in the demonic Saamri character that scared the hell out of little kids in India.  The formula from what I can tell is to throw every element under the sun together and something will appeal to the audience.  You get horror of course, kung fu, romance, drama, completely out of place comedy bits, and since we're in India long song and dance numbers.  Due to those the movie ends up playing over 2 hours and is a little trying on the nerves if you're not used to this sort of cinema.  The other complaint sleazy American exploitation fans like me might have is the lack of nudity in these films, though this one does have some great shots through a wet see-through bathing suit on our star actress that makes up for that.  All in all it's sort of a musical Hammer horror flick that meets a Shaw Brothers kung fu flick but with way flashier outfits than both of those put together.  Though not particularly bloody or gory it's very entertaining in it's own goofy way and worth checking out for something different. 

CHINESE TORTURE CHAMBER STORY (1994)

After watching this movie I feel really lucky that I didn't live in olden times China and I feel extra lucky that I didn't have to go to court in the one depicted in this movie. According to this movie every person who even appears in a courtroom is totally guilty and deserves to be tortured until they confess to their guiltiness. Not the most democratic system I've ever heard of, but then again it might still be better than some courts in the middle east today. One of the weird things(it's packed with weird things like the nonsensical subtitles for one) about this movie is, like many other category III rated movies from Hong Kong in the 90's, the tone, which goes from horrific torture scenes to super-silly slapstick comedy to ridiculous over-the-top romantic love story with a scene right out of Demi Moore's GHOST(complete with a Chinese-sounding version of UNCHAINED MELODY). Luckily I don't mind my films being totally dyslexically paced and it added to the "what the fuck will happen next" vibe that I enjoy in films like this. You get plenty of naked Asian ladies on display, an invisible man attempting to rape someone, an exploding penis, crazy sex toys and an amazing scene of high-flying kung-fu style fucking(fuck-fu?) that needs to be seen to be believed. I would highly recommend this one to fans of extremely nutty cinema. There's also a sequel that's supposed to be equally as insane that I need to check out one day.

Kung Fu Fucking - The funniest videos clips are here

CORPSE MANIA (1981)

The Shaw Brothers were responsible for some of my favorite kung-fu flicks including MASTER KILLER, AVENGING EAGLE and a whole shitload of others.  This is the first of their horror films I have ever seen and it's not too bad.  Any movie about a necrophiliac mass-murderer can't be all bad.  The thing that keeps it from being as exciting as the title promises is that much of the running time is taken up with police detective work which can get very dull and drag you right into sleepytime.  You do get some maggot-covered corpses and a bunch of giallo-style killings including a few really splattery ones which is exciting.   There's also a twist ending.  For some real good "mania" action though PSYCHOMANIA might be a better choice but stay far away from BLOOD MANIA that one's terrible.  And if it's corpse loving you crave NEKROMANTIK is the film for you.

THE KILLER SNAKES is supposed to be one of the Shaws better horror flicks plus it reminds me of the American movie STANLEY: