MY BROTHER'S WIFE (1966)

This is the story of a sleazebag named Frankie who fucks over his brother Bob by screwing and conniving Bob's young wife Mary. A fairly simple film in the Doris Wishman catalog. Available on a great double bill from Something Weird video and obviously shot in the same apartment as INDECENT DESIRES. This nudie quickie is actually pretty engaging and moves along well. There are some crazy editing choices though with weird cuts to inanimate objects abounding. I do feel like the final reel is missing from this print though as we're led up to a big final conflict between the two main men protagonists and the the film just ends with this weird scene of Frankie seemingly waking up from a dream and regretting his shitty decisions in life. I don't think it was supposed to be a dream though. Perhaps Bob kicked his ass. Maybe someday there will be a super-duper special edition that clears up what the hell happened but I kinda doubt it.

Buy this here you pervy fucker!: http://www.somethingweird.com/

INDECENT DESIRES (1967)

This really shoulda been titled THE TOUCH OF PLASTIC or DOLL LOVER or something like that, cuz this title is completely forgettable. It's about this nebbish, who looks like one of those bad-guys in AEON FLUX, who finds a doll in a garbage can and uses it to do some voodoo stuff on this blond chick. That's it. You get naked 60's gals doing naked ballet/yoga, a pretty lame sex scene and the main girl being groped and abused by this creep with a doll fetish. The putting out of a cigarette on the dolls face is particularly mean. The cast consists of 5 people. Director Doris Wishman did believe in keeping it simple and this is about as simple as they get. Would probably be more entertaining as a short but even at 75 minutes this movie seems to drag along. I will say that it creates a creepy feeling from the unexplained and pretty hopeless events going on. Sort of a crappy lost OUTER LIMITS episodes with lots of nudity. Check it out if your into retro-bizzaro stuff.

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Q: THE WINGED SERPENT (1982)

The 1980's wasn't a decade known for giant-monster movies. But Larry Cohen attempted to fit this very basic monster run amuck epic into that time period. Reminds me of BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS mixed with KING KONG thanks to the stop-motion antics. Of course being the 80's you get more gore than any of those older flicks. David Carradine and Richard "Shaft" Roundtree are the cops investigating the monsters victims and the monsters followers who commit suicide to keep the monster alive or something like that. Not Cohen's best, I like his blaxploitation flicks better but an OK monster flick if you're into that kind of thing. Best scene has a window washer getting his head bitten off by the flying serpent creature.

Q is coming!:

LAND OF THE MINOTAUR (1976)

OK so you got Peter Cushing heading up this cult of colorful Klu Klux Klan-looking, robe-wearing knuckleheads who worship a minotaur. Now a minotaur I don't think, from what I know of mythology, was a god. But anyway this one grants his worshipers super-powers if they sacrifice a few people to him every once in a while. Like they can get run over by a bus or shot with bullets and still walk around fine. Donald Pleasence plays a priest who doesn't think it's such a great idea and goes about bringing down this little group with some help. Overall this is a dreadfully boring movie with typical scenes and even a dull climactic battle with people exploding cuz of a cross and some holy water. The females are fairly attractive but that's about all there is to recommend about this turd. The poster makes the minotaur look like some kinda Godzilla-sized monster. Unfortunately he's just a person-sized stupid stone statue that blows fire out of his nostrils and falls on intruders into his cave. Dumb.

Groovy enough for Commander USA, so I guess that's something:

BLACK SUN: THE NANKING MASSACRE (1995)

Also known as MEN BEHIND THE SUN 4 this is an amazingly nihilistic gross-out of a movie. You get fetuses ripped out of pregnant bellies, a baby boiled alive, decapitations, bloody raping and other exploitative scenes mixed in with actual footage of naughty World War II Japanese soldiers to create a really powerful message about the cruelties man subjects his fellow man to in the name of power or glory or whatever other excuse nations want to use to justify barbaric behavior. I thought this was better done than the 1st MAN BEHIND THE SUN movie which was fairly similar and directed by the same fellow. The main difference is this one doesn't cover any of the medical experimentation stuff just soldier on civilian brutality. PHILOSOPHY OF A KNIFE is supposed to be the epitome of the Japanese WWII war atrocity films but that thing is over 4 hours long!! I've personally only managed to sit through about 1 quarter of it because it moves so damned slow and seems pretty boring. This film here cuts right to heads rolling action. So check it out for an interestingly depressing time.

Cool documentary about director T.F. Mou:

SISTERS (1973)

“Did you know that the germs can come through the wires? I never call and I never answer. It’s a good way to get sick. Very, very sick… That’s how I got so sick! SOMEONE CALLED ME ON THE TELEPHONE!” - the Lysol lady

Not in any way Brian De Palmas best work. I'm thinking CARRIE for that although most people would probably pick SCARFACE. This is still an interesting Hitchcokian rip-off kind of movie with a great bloody Dario Argento/giallo style murder scene in it. It gets bizarre enough in parts to boggle your mind and it's engaging enough to make you wanna see what the outcome is. Also feels a bit like a David Cronenberg film in parts. You could definitely do worse than to check this one out.

STANLEY (1972)

A true example of a grind-house film made in the early seventies in the golden year of 1972. That year seems to be the pinnacle of low-down trashy cinema. A magical time that doesn't seem to ever be in danger of returning. I guess when people accept mindless uncreative trash as entertainment there's no need to write anything above a 2nd grade mentality and we get stuck with garbage cartoons like AVATAR that pass for creativity. I'm not sure what that has to do with this killer snake flick but I just figured I'd share some thoughts. Anyhow what you got here is a snake-lovin' hero who ends up not really being much of a hero by the end but the twists are all part of the bizarre ride. There's also one great nutty villain here in the stripey-pants psycho acid-head with the matching bowling shoes. I think I may have found a future Halloween costume here. A good movie for snake-lovers like the lady I watched it with or people that want to see snakes smashed about in a graphic manner cuz U get that also in a most un-p.c. way. But don't worry it's all for the sake of the plot. Yes it's sort of a snake filled version of WILLARD but check it out. I recommend it despite the horrific folk music soundtrack.

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DOGGY POO (2003)

Wow, this Korean stop-motion kiddie movie, starring a cute piece of dog crap, is pretty amazing. It's kind of the Asian equivalent to DAVEY & GOLIATH but way more depressing and instead of being about a boy and his dog it's about a piece of dog shit. Existentialist, depressing, absurd and probably pretty mind-warping for a kid to watch this in any country. I think if I was 5 years old and slightly more impressionable it might make me afraid to flush my own shit down the toilet. Definitely something to experience. Can't imagine there's gonna be an American trend where all the little kids are into poopie but who knows. Perhaps 7-11 will have a grand tie-in and we can all get shit cups to put our shitty coffee in.

THE DEFIANCE OF GOOD (1975)

One of the best classic 1970's porn films. DEFIANCE is the bizarre tale of young Cathy played by young Jean Jennings(whose age at the time of shooting has been questioned by some). She's kicked out of the house by her parents, sent to a hospital to be cured of her "drug problems" where she's molested and raped by the other patients and the help. From there she ends up in a crazy-ass s & m "clinic" run by Fred J. Lincoln (who, of course, played Weasel in THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT). Lincoln here does an amazing job as the guru/teacher who breaks down Cathy's morals to rebuild her anew using spankings and other bondage type stuff. A sleazy weirdo porn from the golden age. See it and then take a shower you scumbag.

SATAN'S SLAVE (1976)

OK so if you take a soap opera and cut in a bunch of scenes of Satan worshiping and sacrificing people and stuff like that you would have this movie. There are also some sorta bloody murders here and there and a few naked boobs. This description makes the movie sound better than it is. I mean it has all the key components of a good exploitation flick but I think the main problem is that this film is British and like many British films it's just very boring. I wish I could recommend this one because on paper it looks like a winner. I can't really but if you find it for $1 or so go for it.

AKA EVIL HERITAGE:

CAPTAIN KRONOS: VAMPIRE HUNTER (1974)

 I put off seeing this movie for a long time. Not sure why. I guess it was my apprehension at watching another boring period-piece Hammer studios film about vampires. Well this one is sorta different. There's no Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee and it actually moves along pretty quickly for a Hammer flick. I kept thinking about how this was such a better version of BLADE(a movie that I detest for all it's shitty-CGI-ness stupidity). Caroline Munro is great as Kronos' main chick and there's a hunchback sidekick. Hunchback's make just about any horror movie just that much better. This fella kind of reminds me of Riff Raff from ROCKY HORROR for some reason. This was originally supposed to be a series and it's kinda sad that they never made another one due to the shitty reception this got at the time from the public. Maybe I'll actually go back and check out some other Hammer stuff even though some of it is as dull as watching a pretty painting for 2 hours.
My only question is why is that guy on my DVD cover? That's not Kronos at all!




Bonus trailer!!:

Super cheesey 50's KRONOS:

BOARDING GATE (2007)

Asia Argento and Michael Madsen talk a whole bunch in this one. Some other stuff happens but the action never gets exciting. I think the only reason to ever watch this is to see Asia in her underpants or less for many scenes. You would really have to be Asia Argento's biggest fan to appreciate this movie on any level. I am a pretty big fan of hers but I still wouldn't recommend this. I also blame Madsen for making yet another boring movie. It feels like forever until anything happens and it's not all that exciting when something does. Watch SCARLET DIVA or maybe THE HEART IS DECEITFUL... instead. Great boobs though!

The trailer ain't so great either!:

BLACK DYNAMITE (2009)

Awesomely done spoof/homage to the 1970's blaxploitation genre. Everything looked authentic in this. It's a shame that there was no advertising or promotion of this thing anywhere. My and my girlfriend were the only 2 people in the theater to see this showing. Damn shame. How this even got released into theaters anywhere is kind of a mystery to me. It really stands no chance of making any money with the brain dead crowd of typical moviegoers these days. Most black audiences in the times we're living in now will probably be offended by the insane stereotypes. It's too bad films can't be fun/ridiculous anymore without offending the childlike sensibilities that people insist on carrying on their sleeves. It's movies like this that make me miss the 70's even more. Captain Kangaroo pimp!!?? Pair this up with BLACK DEVIL DOLL for an amazing double-feature of modern-day flashback insanity!