FRENCH BLUE (1976)

  This starts off with what's billed as the world's first porno cartoon as a pre-credit sequence then once the movie starts we get a behind-the-scenes look at French director Lasse Braun trying to figure out the mechanics of what might the world's first double anal penetration put on the big screen. In between these scenes we get a bunch of shortened loops also directed by Mr. Braun. One particular gross loop is titled CAKE ORGY and it mixes an orgy with a food fight. Probably of interest nowadays as a historical artifact more than anything all that titillating. Also more comical than stimulating. AKA PENETRATION and LASSE BRAUN'S PENETRATION (these versions appear to remove the animated sequence at the beginning)  

                Playing here on a double bill with another porn/comedy from 1975:

PORNO MONDO: AN IN DEPTH STUDY OF PORNO FILMS (1971)

 A really dull pseudo-documentary about the very early days of hardcore adult films. They get a bunch of porn actors to portray different makers of these films and be interviewed about them while also cutting in a bunch of scenes of screwing and sucking. Rene Bond shows up as the writer of scripts(because classic porn is so well known for it's great storylines!) and sadly never even gets naked. The film is obviously espousing a viewpoint that is very strongly against censorship, so that's nice. Too bad they couldn't do it in a more entertaining manner.

         Playing with a porno from 1970 which I think was actually titled ERNIE'S JOINT?:

THE CHAMBERMAIDS (1974)

 A couple of maids in a hotel  decide being whores will be a more exciting and lucrative profession. Then a bunch of sex scenes happen. Eric Edwards is the only really familiar face to me in this cheapy porn flick, though future pop star Andrea True is also apparently in this somewhere. 

 There's some dubious information floating around online about this being shown in 3-D at some point which seems very doubtful. 

 

VELVET HIGH (1981)

  Probably the only reason I stuck with this porn all the way through was to hear which 70s rock band they would steal songs from next for the soundtrack. It starts right off with some MC5 and then we get some of The Sweet before ending with a band I've never heard of before called Toe Fat. The plot is some kinda weird sleazy porn-watchers wish-fulfillment thing where the only character our orgasm-deprived main character, Velvet(Misty Regan, credited as Misty Middleton on the poster) can be satisfied by is a chubby, habitual sexual-harasser who pumps gas(played by porn director Carter Stevens who is sometimes mistakenly credited as being the director here). A tough one to get through but it does bring the rock. AKA SEXUAL STATES(an homage to ALTERED STATES?) and TEENAGE STRIPPERS

WINTER HEAT (1976)

 This porn starring Jamie Gillis really has that LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT & I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE(which hadn't actually been released yet)-vibe going on. If you're a big fan of those rape/revenge movies but really only enjoy the first half of them then this roughie is custom made for you with Gillis doing his best David Hess impression. Certainly a product of it's time that can't really be emulated today and expect to play on any movie screens. AKA SNOWBOUND

 Soundtrack supplied(unknowingly I'm sure) by The Love Unlimited Orchestra which is quite the juxtaposition to the on-screen brutality.

STAR VIRGIN (1979)

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NAUGHTY CHEERLEADERS (1985)

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BACCHANALE (1970)

 This one's notable for being an early example of hardcore porno. Made by John and Lem Amero, who had previously done a few softcore flicks, this one is what you get when you mix artsy-fartsy junk with explicit sex and it's not exactly a great example of either one of those 2 elements. Fellow sleaze-makers, and friends of the Ameros, Michael and Roberta Findlay show up briefly. We follow our main character(Uta Erickson, who appeared in films by The Findlays, Doris Wishman and Joe Sarno among others) through a trippy dream and ends up in hell, which might be my least favorite idea for a plot ever! Her name is Ruth and she's searching for her lost brother who she may have been incestuous with. Her brother's name is Gordon which just made me think about how I'd rather be watching anything with the late great Ruth Gordon in it instead of this.

HELEN BEDD (1973)

  A cast of unknown hippie-looking folks have sex with each other in Helen Bedd's(Sandy Carey's) house. Strangely enough our leading lady doesn't partake in the triple X action and only gets her tits rubbed on in the first sexy scene. Also of note is a pregnant gal(Linda McDowell) getting in on the hardcore smutty play. Clocking in at just under an hour this was all shot in one day and you can really tell. 

HOT SUMMER IN THE CITY (1976)

  Rape in 70s porn is certainly nothing unique but this one takes it to a whole other level being basically just rape for a little over an hour. Not much of plot to get in the way of all the grossness. The "story" deals with a white gal who is kidnapped, abused and, of course, raped by a gang of angry militant racist black fellows. It all ends with some poorly staged bloodshed. Quentin Tarantino claims that this is his favorite porn flick. That might tell you all you need to know about him.  It does feature one of my favorite porn aliases Mr. Coke Cain as Coke and a bunch of 60s copyright-infringing music from the likes of The Doors, The Beach Boys and of course The Lovin' Spoonful with that banging title tune among others to remind us that this is a period piece. 

DEAR PAM (1976)

 Exploitation director Roberta Findlay, of TENEMENT fame, brings us this porn flick that spoofs popular 70s advice columnist Ann Landers. Truly a product of it's time, besides the newspaper celebrity of the day, dubbed Pam Slanders here, it also features John Holmes as an out-of-character morality crusader(at least for the first bit of the movie until everyone starts screwing everyone). Also worth mentioning is Eric Edwards' character is a real sleazy 70s man who who takes advantage of a virgin looking for a job and his supposedly 14-year-old step daughter(don't worry the actress is clearly an adult in pigtails). The fact that he's presented as our most "sympathetic" character probably says a lot about the degenerates who were going to see these films back in the sordid 42nd Street days. Findlay herself shows up as a secretary in one of the few non-sex roles here. There's also a band called Slim Pickens who close everything out by jamming to a big orgy. I've seen worse examples of 70s sleaze.

    

BALLGAME (1980)

 You would think by that title that this would be a sports-related porn movie but that's not how it starts off. We start off with a group of prostitutes(or "sex-workers" as all the cool kids call them nowadays) getting thrown in jail for plying their trade. So it becomes a dirty women-in-prison flick for a good bit before the warden decides to form a softball team of guards, called The Dicks, to take on the imprisoned ladies team of The Beavers. Seemingly inspired by the plot of THE LONGEST YARD you get quite a bit of lesbianism to go with the straight sucking and fucking, silly songs about beating dicks and splitting beavers, Lisa DeLeeuw as a frisky secretary and it all ends with her stealing a famous line from DEEP THROAT. There were probably a few zillion similar X-rated romps like this at the time, kind of the adult version of the teen-sex comedy which was becoming popular at the time, and this is another one. 

Ballgame (1980, US, Lisa De Leeuw, full movie, DVD): 

HENRI PACHARD'S LADIES ROOM (1987)

  Henri Pachard started out directing smut way back in the 60s on actual film, by the 80s though he was forced to switch to video which this one is a sorry example of. This is the era where they usually sorta still attempted the flimsiest of story to wrap around the sex scenes. In this case though there really isn't a story but instead just a collection of sex scenes that all take place in the same bathroom throughout the decades starting in the 30s. The first scene has a girl vomiting in a toilet while the action takes place in the stall next to her so that sets a nice classy mood! The rest of the decades sexual antics are pretty standard starring all the big names of the era like Jerry Butler, Krista Lane, Tom Byron, Herschel Savage etc. up until the final bit with Sharon Mitchell as a male-to-female sex-swapped punk rocker. Her sucking a guy's ass while the muzak version of A-Ha's "Take On me" plays is pretty strange and ends things on a bizarre note. I can easily see how Pachard was able to crank out 20 of these "movies" in '87 since they seem to have minimal effort put into them.

EMANUELLE IN AMERICA (1977)

  I've always thought of this one as my favorite of the "Black Emanuelle" films(7th in the series) but after rewatching it recently I think EMANUELLE AND THE LAST CANNIBALS and LOVE CAMP have surpassed it for me as far as being entertaining and overall less boring. That being said though this one certainly has the most memorably gratuitous scenes of depravity out of all these movies. In the uncensored version you get a lady jacking off a horse, some fairly realistic snuff movie scenes and hardcore sucking and fucking. Unfortunately there are also long boring bits inbetween that and a very nonsensical ending that takes place on an island inhabited by an African tribe? that Emanuelle(Laura Gemser) gets sold off to. Worth a look for sleazoid Eurotrash fantatics though. AKA BRUTAL NIGHTS

                                               The very 70s main theme!:

PLEASURE (2021)

  So this is basically a drama about a young gal from Sweden(Sofia Kappel) trying to make it big in pornoland USA. They throw lots of nudity and erect dicks in there for that gritty realistic flavor and I guess to shock your grandma. Just like the porn industry itself most of the characters are pretty awful human beings. Of course since it was made in 2021 there has to be a stupid feminist message about victimhood or some other nonsense which really doesn't fit into a film showing women actually having control of their lives and making their own choices. Just like modern plotless porn this seems pretty empty and disposable and exists as pure spectacle.

 

This was originally a Swedish short and it probably would work way better that way!: 

        

ALL ABOUT GLORIA LEONARD (1978)

"Why do the girls call you horse?"

  Gloria Leonard is only 37 years old in this film but she seems older(and if this was modern porn she would certainly be assigned exclusively to the milf category) and totally in control of every scene. She's basically playing herself as the editor of an adult magazine who's reminiscing about sexual exploits that we then get to see. As with most X-rated films, even these classics, it gets a bit monotonous with their really being no plot to follow but if you want to see an older lady(especially by today's standards!) getting it on check it out. There's lesbianism, lots of dirty talk and Jamie Gillis and R. Bolla show up. 

 Miss Leonard is credited as director here but the general consensus is that Joe Sarno is the actual man behind the scenes.

Tutto su Gloria Leonard (qualità più alta): Watch All About Gloria Leonard Higher Quality video on xHamster

TEENAGE TWINS (1976)

 So this one is an early porno directed by Carter Stevens. The hook here is that it features a couple of actual twins in the lead roles so if you're into incest this may be of special interest to you. It does feature some lesbian antics between sisters Brooke and Taylor Young who would go on to be in 2 more adult features before disappearing back into polite civilization. This one is super dull for the most part. They do throw the Necronomicon in and give the twins some super power where they can feel when the other one is having sex but it all is just an excuse to end in a big orgy scene on top of a pentagram. 

        This does have a pretty cool soundtrack which actually got a release!: 

DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS (1975)

 

 Not to be confused with the earlier Eurotrash classic, this one is a cheap one hour long porn flick about a dork who moves into an apartment that is full of Satanic folks. Our main gal(Helen Madigan) even has a big "tattoo"(which looks like it was drawn on with a pen) of ol' Beelzebub that goes all the way from her tits right down past her hairy 70s snatch to her knees. Most of the movie is comprised of not very exciting fucking and sucking while a familiar, but I can't quite place it, horror soundtrack plays. A young Joey Silvera shows up about halfway through as our devil cult leader, an interracial scene with a black fellow in a swami getup, that looks like it's from a different movie, happens and then it all ends with a stupid "was it all a dream?" cop-out. Not the best example of the horror/porn hybrids.  

GHOUL SEX SQUAD (1991)

  So it took until the 1990s for someone to have the brilliant idea of mixing those Chinese hopping vampires into a porn flick. I guess technically this would make it a necrophilia sex movie. Also one of the vampires is a little kid but luckily he doesn't seem to be in any of the sex scenes. Not very sexy, not much kung fu at all and filled with terribly dull parts. The absurdly worded subtitles are a treat though

The version I watched of this was a terribly blurry bootleg and I'm not sure if there is any legitimate release anywhere but it's worth a look purely as a unique obscure novelty. 

GUMS (1976)

 I had the pleasure of seeing Brother Theodore live in New York City when I was in my 20's and have been a huge fan of his bizarre stylings ever since. I can't say he's really been represented all that well in film though, usually just making small appearances. I think NOCTURNA is the film that I most identified him with until I saw this one and NOCTURNA is not exactly the best movie in the world. GUMS on the other hand is, while also not the best movie ever, an absurdly delightful porn(the version I caught was softcore but bordering on being hard) parody of JAWS that plays almost like a Mel Brooks' movie with naughty bits. I was lucky enough to catch this one at the local weirdo theater and it's definitely a great watch with a group of like-minded cretins. Where else can you see Brother Theodore playing a Nazi named Captain Carl Clitoris go up against a blowjob-giving murderous mermaid or a movie that ends in a bizarre puppet show?
 There is apparently a hardcore version of this available for the hardcore perverts though I found the censorship(covering genitals with pieces of meat and kosher certificates) in the soft version pretty humorous in itself.

                                                     Uncensored lesbian scene!:



                                                                  British VHS!:

Titillating porn double feature!: