THE MONSTER OF THE OPERA (1964)

 I know director Renato Polselli mainly for that movie THE REINCARNATION OF ISABEL which is a pretty crazy Eurotrash flick. This is an earlier work of Mr. Renato but it still has some pretty wild elements. Clearly influenced by THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA but in this case instead of a phantom(was the original PHANTOM even really a phantom at all?) you get a vampire who likes to chain his female victims up in his secret chamber underneath an old haunted opera house for fun. You also get a really wacky scene of a bunch of girls dancing for their lives because apparently vampires can only get you if you stop moving?   There's also a sprinkling of lesbian overtones thrown in. While not everything makes a lot of sense it's still an enjoyable enough gothic trip. Released on DVD more precisely as VAMPIRE OF THE OPERA

Known in France as ORGY OF THE VAMPIRES:

MY HONEYMOON WITH A VAMPIRE (2003)

  This is a real snoozefest! Shot on video in 2003, so you know it's probably going to suck, it feels more like you're watching some boring travelogue involving a newlywed couple than an exciting narrative. Certainly not much of note takes place for most of the runtime. Our main male character turns into a vampire because of some evil giant ball of dirt, bites a few people then a ghost-lady shows up and tells him about how she got murdered by her husband. From there it's vampire/ghost tag-team revenge time. Very minimal blood or enjoyment to be had. Works good as a sleeping aid. AKA VAMPIRE HONEYMOON 

THE VAMPIRE DOLL (1970)

  First in a trilogy of vampire films from Toho studios. This one features a gal who gets hypnotized into being a creepy vampire lady(though she mostly just acts like a ghost). Good atmospheric gothic horror, which is not something you normally expect from Japan. Does a good job at emulating 60s European horror flicks with some added blood. 

 This has quite a few alternate titles including FEAR OF THE GHOST HOUSE: BLOODSCUKING DOLL, THE NIGHT OF THE VAMPIRE, THE GHOST MANSION'S HORROR: A BLOODSUCKING DOLL and just plain old BLOODSUCKING DOLL. Released on video as THE LEGACY OF DRACULA.

Released in Mexico as THE DOLL THAT DRINKS BLOOD:

THE BODY BENEATH (1970)

  Garbage-film master Andy Milligan does his take on the vampire movie. Made during Mr. Andy's adventures in England you will hear a lot of British accents in this which you better get used to since this is a a Milligan film and it's almost entirely made up of long boring speeches only interrupted occasionally by some decidedly not very bloody vampire antics. See vampire girls in green face-paint, a hunchback assistant and a bunch of talky talk. Someone does get the old knitting-needles-in-the-eye gag pulled on them in one of the only scenes even attempting anything gory. A lot of people claim this is one of Milligan's better films which really says a lot!  AKA VAMPIRE'S THIRST

                                             Quite the snooze-inducing double feature!:

DAUGHTER OF DRACULA (1972)

  This one is the final chapter in Jess Franco's monster trilogy, which includes DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN and THE EROTIC RITES OF FRANKENSTEIN. It's also my least favorite of the three. It seems like with each film Franco was less concerned with any sort of actual plot and more interested in just filming whatever he felt like. There's lesbianism, vampirism, cameras zooming into pubes and a very inconsequential plot about a lady(Carmen Yazalde) who is told about the curse of her family being vampires. Franco himself has a pretty big role where he gets to show off his oddball version of acting and Howard Vernon plays our main vampire who's not named Dracula at all but instead Count Karlstein.  Pretty unique way of staking the vamps here (through the forehead!) and lots of atmosphere but still not up to the first 2 films in this sorta series. 

        Subtitles so small you need to have Superman's vision to read them!:

THE BOWERY BOYS MEET THE MONSTERS (1954)

 I watched this one right after SPOOK CHASERS which I thought was the worst Bowery Boys movie I'd ever seen and I believe this might be the best one the Boys did. It was obviously inspired by ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN and apparently was also the highest-grossing film in their long-running series. Since this is clearly a very low-budget deal, as were all of the Boys adventures, you're not getting very top-shelf monsters. There's a couple of mad scientists, a vampire lady, a man-eating plant(owned by Grandma Walton(Ellen Corby) from THE WALTONS TV program) and a killer gorilla and robot thrown in for good measure. The kooky family that lives in our monster house is kind of Addams Family-ish with their large Lurch-like butler and creepy mansion home. There's also a couple of brief scenes where someone is turned into a hairy Mr. Hyde-like monster. While obviously not on the level of Abbott & Costello this is still good for a goofy late-night watch. 

LIFEFORCE (1985)

  So on paper this seems like it would be a cool movie. You get space vampires from Halley's Comet who end up on earth(one of which is the lovely Mathilda May who spends a majority of the film wandering around completely naked!) draining folks of their "lifeforce" and turning them into zombies. Unfortunately the movie manages to take whatever excitement could have been gleaned from this concept and present it in the most boring way possible. I know the backstory of the making of this involves lots of production problems so I guess we can blame that for any lack of engaging characters or compelling sequences. We could also blame director Tobe Hooper though his previous 2 films for Cannon Films(INVADERS FROM MARS and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACER 2 are at least competently directed and amusing schlock). Star Steve Railsback only manages to remind me of Charles Manson everytime I see him show up (due to his amazing performance in the TV-movie HELTER SKELTER) but hey at least you get some nice boobs to ogle. 

 There's a 116-minute cut of this that I can;t even begin to fathom siting through. It's supposed to have a better soundtrack though if that helps.

 This is sort-of a re-imagining of QUARTERMASS AND THE PIT though I don't recall any nekkid chics in that one. 

 

Japanese style!:

Known in some places as SPACE VAMPIRES!:

VAMPYROS LESBOS (1971)

  I kinda get this mixed up with director Jess Franco's other vampire chick flick FEMALE VAMPIRE but this one is obviously more lesbian-centric. Also, instead of Lina Romay, we get Franco's earlier muse Soledad Miranda(who sadly died in an automobile accident the year before) as the sexy bloodsucker. It definitely contains that Franco artsy/sleazy style and has a pretty groovy soundtrack(I'm lucky enough to own the album) to accentuate all the lesbo antics. Ol' Uncle Jess shows up as a murderous psycho who likes to torture gals in a basement to get his jollies, there's an evil henchman named Morpho (just like in THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF except without the ping-pong ball eyes this time) and the plot is very loosely based on Bram Stokers DRACULA with a Dr. Seward character(Dennis Price) and Drac himself being name checked a few times.  While not my very favorite Franco flick it's for sure up there towards the top of the heap. 

THE LAST MAN ON EARTH (1964)

  This one was obviously influential on 68's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD with it's hordes of undead roaming around after our sole survivor Vincent Price who's boarded-up inside his home during the night. Here, instead of flesh-eating zombies though, they are neck-biting vampires caused by a global airborne plague. This one gets extra credit for being the first version of the story that would go on to be filmed a few times as THE OMEGA MAN in '71, a big-budget CGI Hollywood piece of crap with Will Smith called I AM LEGEND(which was also the name of the original story) followed quickly by a shitty shot-on-video thing called I AM OMEGA(both in 2007). I would usually say stick with the original but the 70s version is the one I've honestly gone back to more often for a fun apocalyptic watch even if this one is in that semi-classic category..

 There is a slightly longer ending if you're not watching the AIP TV-cut which seems to be the most common out there on all the cheap-o public domain DVD sets. 

                                          Complete cut with baby ending!:

THE MONSTER CLUB (1981)

 Remember that movie where there's a stripper who strips all of her skin and flesh off and ends up just a dancing skeleton? Well if you do, this is that movie. I recall first seeing this one on t.v. as a youth which probably wasn't too long after it originally was released. So I assume it wasn't much of a big hit or anything. Vincent Price and John Carradine, both sadly past their prime, star in what is an anthology deal with 3 horror tales. It's in the Amicus studios mold(produced by Amicus' Milton Subotsky and the last film directed by Amicus regular Roy Ward Baker) but came out a few years after they went out of business. The stories are a bit slow for the most part but the wraparound scenes in the actual "monster club" are goofy fun. You get Donald Pleasence as a vampire hunter and Britt Ekland as a wife of a vampire who is somehow not a vampire herself. How does that work exactly? The new wavey musical bits(including The Pretty Things who were somehow still together since the 60s!) really bring things to a halt but at least I know what a shadmock is now. 

 

DARIO ARGENTO'S DRACULA (2012)

 Classic Italian director Dario Argebnto's last film and sadly his worst! It took me a few attempts to make it through this cgi-filled crapfest. Perhaps if this was made back in the 70s or 80s it wouldn't be so awful. There are some gory bits and some nice boobs on our vampire chick but of course everything is filmed so terribly it's hard to care. This is extra depressing considering the things Argento has done in the past. How a director could go from the visual style of something like SUSPIRIA to this flat-looking(if I didn't know any better I woulda sworn this was shot for Italian T.V. or something) garbage is beyond me. Also I have to note that there's a stupid giant praying mantis in this that Dracula decides to turn himself into. I think it's mandated by law that if you talk about this film that is the dumb thing that you're supposed to solely focus on. 

 Released in 3D under the title DRACULA 3D back when everything was coming out in 3D versions. I doubt the extra dimension helps much. As usual stick with the classics unless you really need to see everything done by once-great horror personalities. 

FANGS OF THE LIVING DEAD (1969)

 One of those old creepy castle movies. Anita Ekberg is our main gal here named Malenka(hence the original title of this being MALENKA) who has to travel to aforementioned castle after inheriting it in a  will. Turns out her family is just crawling with vampires and similar undead types. The sexiest of which is played by Audrey Ambert(which is actually Adriana Ambesi under and American-ized name) in a slinky black dress. The gorgeous Rosanna Yanni also appears but is a bit less alluring in this since she's not a vamp. You get some female vampire wrestling and apparently these living-dead monsters can be killed by just being poked with a torch. Director Amando de Ossorio is pretty laid back in this one compared to his 70's BLIND DEAD stuff but still worth a gander for appreciators of that goth aesthetic. AKA THE VAMPIRE'S NIECE




                           Part of the "Orgy Of The Living Dead" triple terror show!:

VAMPIRE MEN OF THE LOST PLANET (1970)

 Al Adamson is a director that more times than not lets me down. This attempt of his to make a sci-fi film with vampires in outer-space is no exception to that rule. Probably more commonly known as HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS this one recycles lots of footage footage from earlier films including that constantly reused scene of those two lizards(made-up to look like dinosaurs) fighting each other from 1940s ONE MILLION B.C. They get away with using old black and white footage because most of the movie is itself in black and white. Most of the scenes that take place on the alien vampire planet are tinted different colors, which the ads called "Spectrum X color!" You get lots of scenes of cavemen(because it's apparently a prehistoric planet) battling vampire cavemen and occasionally other monsters like the bat-demons and claw monsters. While that might sound exciting it's not exactly executed particularly well. The reason for this is probably because these bits were "borrowed" from a 5 year old Filipino film titled TAGANI. John Carradine doesn't do much but give advice every once in a while. My favorite parts are the opening sequences of folks on earth being overrun by bloodsuckers while the great Brother Theodore narrates. If only the rest of the movie could maintain that kinda insane energy level. Other aliases=  BLOOD CREATURES FROM THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, CREATURES OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, CREATURES OF THE RED PLANET, HORROR CREATURES OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, SPACE MISSION OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, SPACE MISSION TO THE LOST PLANET and THE FLESH CREATURES and probably more.





                                    An Al Adamson Drive-In Double Feature crapfest!:

More Adamson  drive-in goodness(badness?)!:

GRAVEYARD SHIFT (1987)

 Not to be confused with the Stephen King adaptation that would come out a couple of years later this film has nothing to do with King and deals with a vampire cab-driver who bites occasional female passengers. Apparently they have to be either suicidal, dying from some unnamed disease or otherwise near death for him to put the bite on them. While this film does have a lot of nudity and sexual situations going for it, thanks to the romantic/sexy bloodsucker-vibe going on, that's kinda all it really has as it becomes quite a drudge in the way it was shot. Everything seems to take forever in between one sexy neck-biting to the next. It's also filmed in a super stylized way that may have seemed more impressive back in the MTV-influenced 80s but now just seems super dated and unnecessary but if you dig very 80s hunky vamps I guess give it a chance or just go watch THE LOST BOYS instead. AKA CENTRAL PARK DRIFTER(which is kind of a stupid name since this was filmed in Canada and Central Park is in New York but I guess Toronto has parks also)



Known in France as CENTRAL PARK DRIVER:

 

KUNG FU ZOMBIE (1981)

 Very similar to KUNG FU FROM  BEYOND THE GRAVE which came out the next year, also starred Billy Chong and had him battling zombies and a vampire brought to life by a goofball priest/wizard fella. This one has ghosts being thrown into various dead bodies being reanimated to get some chopsocky revenge. Exactly what the revenge was originally for I was never exactly clear on since the plots get a bit muddled in the wacky dubbing job these Hong Kong martial-arts films often get. If you don't dig comedy-fu this one is really not for you. It's about 70 % slapsticky cartoonish nonsense and 30 % fighting. My favorite bit is a very quick battle where our vampire kicks his opponents head clean off and drinks right out of the blood-spurting neckhole. I also learned you can kill a vampire with the power of Buddha and a sharp spike through the top of the head. Not exactly a zombie classic or even much of a horror film at all but goofy enough for oddball kung-fu-loving weirdos. Now I just need to watch KUNG FU VAMPIRE and I feel my life will be complete.

Strange that this German video of a Hong Kong film was released by a company called American Video??:

DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN (1970)

This one is probably better known as ASSIGNMENT TERROR. Calling it DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN is pretty dumb since those 2 monsters never fight and are working on the same team and there is a crappy Al Adamson film under that title and also a Jess Franco film known as such. THE WOLFMAN VS. FRANKENSTEIN woulda made more sense since that actually happens but weird aka's is pretty standard for Paul Naschy werewolf flicks. This is the 2nd(or 3rd if you count the unobtainable/uncompleted? NIGHTS OF THE WOLF-MAN) Naschy flick as Waldemar Daninsky and one of the few ones that actually works as a sequel. The plot revolves around a mad-scientist-type, played by Michael Rennie from the classic THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, and just like in that movie he's actually an alien but instead of trying to warn the Earth about its impending doom here he's actively trying to bring that about by re-animating various monsters including a mummy, a vampire, a Frankenstein-monster(though he's called the Faranksalan-monster to avoid copyright charges?) and, of course, Naschy's Wolf-Man. Instead of conquering the planet though they all seem to just hang out in this old castle. It's a pretty convoluted(part sci-fi/part-horror) mess of a movie that's closer in plot to something like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE than any of the classic Universal films it's attempting to mimic but for monster fans like myself it's still a great wacky watch and where else do you get go-go dancers mixed into your monster-mash?.

Known in Mexico as OPERATION TERROR!:

FRANKENSTEIN'S BLOODY TERROR (1968)

 I never knew that this Paul Naschy werewolf flick was presented in 3-D in the U.S.A. back in the 70s until just recently. I also never figured I would get a chance to actually view it like that but thanks to a newly refurbished print I caught it in all it's glorious dimensions recently.
 The film itself is a pretty groovy monster-mash done Eurotrash-style. We get Mr. Naschy getting himself bitten and cursed while dispatching a Wolf-Man. Then in order to cure himself he ends up with a vampire couple posing as doctors who specialize in lycanthropy.  It's got sexy ladies, blood and monster brawling(including vampire vs. werewolf and some werewolf on werewolf action!). The only thing really missing is anything to do with Frankenstein. The American producer, Sam Sherman, tries to remedy this a bit by calling the main family Wolfstein but this is a pretty tenuous link. If you can overlook that one little thing though this is a great ride for appreciators of monster cinema and it's especially sweet in 3-D. AKA THE MARK OF THE WOLFMAN, THE WEREWOLF'S MARK, HELL'S CREATURES and THE VAMPIRE OF DR. DRACULA
 This is the 1st of Naschy's Waldemar The Werewolf flicks to be released. There was supposedly an earlier one titled NIGHTS OF THE WOLF-MAN that was never completed due to it's director, Rene Govar, dropping dead.
There are 13 sequels(or more accurately just follow up werewolf flicks) to this including:

1.   ASSIGNMENT TERROR (1970)
2.   WEREWOLF VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN (1971)
3.   THE FURY OF THE WOLFMAN (1972)
4.   DR. JEKYLL AND THE WEREWOLF (1972) 
5.   CURSE OF THE DEVIL (1974)
6.   NIGHT OF THE HOWLING BEAST (1975)
7.   THE CRAVING (1980)
8.   GOODNIGHT, MR. MONSTER (1982)(the only one where Naschy isn't named Waldemar Daninsky)
9.   THE BEAST AND THE MAGIC SWORD (1983)
10. HOWL OF THE DEVIL (1987)
11. LYCANTROPUS: THE MOONLIGHT MURDERS (1996)
12. TOMB OF THE WEREWOLF (2003)
13. A WEREWOLF IN THE AMAZON (2005)

TV Terror!:

The only time Frankenstein appears in this film thanks to the American intro:

THE RIDER OF THE SKULLS (1965)

 OK, so this was originally a Mexican serial featuring a masked(very Lone Ranger-like) hero battling various foes and they spliced 3 of these episodes together and released this. Because of this it does get a bit repetitive watching this as a feature-length film. On the plus side they do jam pack three ridiculous monsters into it including a ratty-ass Wolf man, or Lobo Humano in the native tongue, a vampire who has a hairy Wolfman-like face and frequently turns into a big rubber bat on a string and finally a Headless Horseman who manages to regain his big paper-mache head before battling our hero with the cool skull-covered shirt. There's tons of day-for-night shooting which leads to our vampire worrying about the sun coming up while clearly standing in bright daylight with shadows all around him. The werewolf has a unique way of transforming where he first completely turns into a skeleton before becoming a Wolf-Man. It's all very silly and watching this in a theater it was a bit difficult to stay awake during some of the drawn-out parts but worth checking out if you want to seem some obscure Mexican monster weirdness.
 The director here, Alfred Salazar, is the brother of bigtime cult Mexican actor Abel Salazar. He also made some Aztec Mummy movies and a few Santo flicks. He has been dubbed the Mexican Ed Wood and that's not too far off from the truth.

It all starts out with a lovely tune!:

THE KISS OF THE VAMPIRE (1963)

 Hammer studios horror involving a cult of vampires who set their sites on a honeymooning couple. As with many of these old Hammer flicks this one is pretty dull. You do get all the classy stylish Hammer touches and vampire chomping action you would expect and there's a big ending involving angry bats that was cool. Uniquely there is a way to be saved after being bitten by a vamp according to this movie. It involves a magical seance and a priest and if you can't get those two thing apparently you can just burn the bite marks right away and you will be just fine. Maybe it's all just a little too stodgy and classy for me, and there's no Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing to be found, but I'm sure all the old-time horror fans still love this one.
 There is a supposedly longer version of this titled KISS OF EVIL.


                                                     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Handy vampire facts!:

Hammer double-feature spook-show!:

THE HUNGER (1983)

 David Bowie does a very good job here, with the help of some great-looking makeup, playing what is not your classic vampire, but a new(for the 1980s anyway) type of blood-drinking creep. It's all very goth with the band Bauhaus kicking the film off with their gloomy "Bela Lugosi's Dead" tune and Catherine Deneuve playing an immortal Egyptian vampiress. Director Tony Scott, brother of Ridley, gives everything a very BLADE RUNNER-ish artsy-look. You get to see Susan Sarandon's boobs, a very young girl gets viciously snuffed and the ending (forced on Scott by the studio) doesn't make much sense. If they did change the ending a bit I probably woulda dug this a lot more as it is it's still a pretty stylish ride that would probably appeal a little more to 80s-obsessed mopey goth-types than myself.



                             Ultra-fashionable Japanese poster!: