HIDEOUT IN THE SUN (1960)

 As kitschy and cool as 60s nudie-cuties are most of them are pretty basic and dull affairs. This one at least has a plot and an actual character-arc in it. This starts out like RESERVOIR DOGS except with way less violence and and way less swearing and then our two bank-robbing brothers end up taking a female hostage and hiding out in a nudist camp. The one brother is a real sour-puss grumpy bastard but the other fellow gets so into this new lifestyle that he instantly falls in love with their kidnap victim as soon as he sees her bare-assed naked!(strangely enough they never kiss even after confessing their love for each other) Bickering ensues and things end up badly for our angry protagonist who ends up in a reptile center battling a snake which is not really where you would expect this movie to go. I would definitely put this up their somewhere towards the top of  60s nekkid boobie films just for it's weirdness quotient. Also important to note here is that this was Doris Wishman's first film(though apparently she had a co-director who got all the credit) and for her it's pretty well made.

LET ME DIE A WOMAN (1977)

 This is Doris Wishman's transsexual documentary and it's the weirdest film of hers that I've yet seen. You get tales of sexual confusion from various trans-gendered folks, lots of naked she-male types getting prodded by a weirdo doctor and a bloody show-stopping look at an actual sex-change operation that will have you squirming in your seat. I think technically this was supposed to be a sexploitation film, hell even ol' Harry Reems shows up in one sexual reenactment scene, but I can't imagine anyone outside of the lowliest deviant getting any sort of sexual thrills out of this. Also as far as educational value is concerned I imagine it may have meant well at the time but there's so many unintentional laughs to be had here that it's hard to take too much of what's being said very seriously. I'm not sure who I would recommend this to except creepy degenerates looking for something exceptionally strange.
 There was a different cut of this released originally back in '72 as STRANGE/HER.

DILDO HEAVEN (2002)

 The year was 2002 yet Doris Wishman thought it would be a good idea to make a nudie-cutie just like it was the 60's again. Some might say this shows that she never really grew artistically as a director and while that is most likely true I think it also shows how she stuck to a singular vision and didn't let the times change her style and for that I appreciate the insane works of Miss Wishman.
 This movie was shot on video, which of course always looks far inferior to film, so to make up for this, and save a few bucks I'm sure, Doris threw in some jarring scenes from older actual films. The sight of a nerd peeping through a keyhole only to see some old black and white 60's lesbian action is quite bizarre to say the least. All the Wishman trademarks are here; terrible acting, random shots of inanimate objects, scenes that look very much like some home movie footage. It might seem sad that this was one of Doris' last movies and it's so super amateurish but even with all the negative elements(no money, no film, no actual actors) working against her she managed to make a terrible movie that entertains in it's own way. Alcohol and trash appreciation helps immensely with this entertainment value. Look for a postcard with Chesty Morgan on it, TV's showing old roughies and plenty of boobs.
AKA DESPERATE DESIRES

DOUBLE AGENT 73 (1974)

 Sort-of sequel to the great DEADLY WEAPONS  also starring giant-boobed Chesty Morgan and also directed by bad-movie specialist Doris Wishman. This might be Wishman's greatest film just because it actually seems halfway competently directed as opposed to most of her stuff. Also there's a lot of silly action scenes so it moves along pretty quickly before you start to get bored by the repetition of it all. Wishman does pad things out with some stock footage of zoo animals and Florida nature but for the most part it works as well as you would expect.  Just don't expect to ever get even slightly excited about seeing our star get naked as that might be one of the most frightening displays you may ever peep.
 The plot is kind of a James Bond rip-off one about a secret agent who has a camera implanted in to one of her massive milk-jugs. She's like the bionic man with tits. She also uses her cans to knock guys out which is something to see. There's a bunch of dumb assassinations including exploding lipstick and Doris' version of the PSYCHO shower-scene. The worst of these has got to be a guy killed by having ice-cubes stuck in his mouth-hole.
 Luckily I was able to catch this on the big screen from an actual film-print which was just delightful.

A NIGHT TO DISMEMBER (1983)

 
 It's hard to believe this movie was made by human beings with the intent that it would be watched by other human beings.  The back-story here is that director Doris Wishman completed the film then a bunch of the footage was lost in the processing so from there she quickly re-shot some scenes and threw a bunch of narration over it.  It's all pretty mind-boggling.  So much information is told to the viewer that your head starts spinning, the editing is also no help in trying to comprehend just what the hell is going on and a few of the characters that actually speak are voiced by the same guy that does the narration! On the plus side at least there's ample bloody kills that take place that show maybe this coulda been a halfway decent slasher flick in it's original form. Porn regular Samantha Fox stars in a rare non sex role(there is, luckily, a little nudity thrown in here and there). The most amazing thing about this is that it was ever finished at all and someone thought it was actually releasable. This one is truly for only the most adventurous of terrible movie fans or insane Doris Wishman completists, I think I might be both of those things.      

Even the trailer is kooky!:

LOVE TOY (1968)

 This is a very strange sexploitation flick that I viewed at 3 a.m.  If there is a perfect time to watch a movie like this that would probably be it.  It all starts out with a guy losing everything in a card game to this weird couple and then he ends up selling his daughter to get everything back.  From there we get all these weird fantasies played out by our pervy card shark and his equally perv-o wife.  His fantasies include some daddy/daughter stuff, he pretends the young daughter is his wife and even his cat.  His wife is more into the old bondage and sadism act.  A guy gets tied up and has a cigarette put out on him, a gal has to lap up some milk, gets ridden like a horsey, soft-core threesome happens, and it's all wrapped up with a nice incestuous ending and murder or maybe it was all a kinky wet-dream.  Definitely a worthwhile watch for purveyors of fine filth that make you feel degraded just watching.
 This is directed by the great Doris Wishman under the name Louis Silverman but doesn't have quite the wacky-feel of most of her other stuff.  You can tell it's her work though thanks to the absurd dubbing job on display which makes this also seem very Euro-sleaze-like .

                                              

DEADLY WEAPONS (1974)

 This movie is great in a lot of ways because it's all about a woman(Chesty Morgan) who has enormous boobs that she uses as the titular "Deadly Weapons". Yes she suffocates men between the 2 massive mounds of tit-flesh she possesses. It's also a completely bizarre film due to it being filmed by the legendary Doris Wishman. Her style of shooting random objects comes into play along with strange overdubbing of people's voices and a plot that seems to have been written by a young kid obsessed with breasts. It's also a bit weird that a soft-core sex movie which I'm assuming was supposed to have been a turn-on for the gentlemen who saw this originally in the theater is about the most un-erotic thing you could ever let yours eyes behold. The main problem here is our star Miss Chesty always seems so miserable and I guess I would be too if I had to lug around ridiculously huge melons like hers all day. I think she smiles maybe once or twice throughout the whole film which makes me think filming this wasn't the happiest event of her life. In addition to the negative vibes you might pick up on, the potato-shaped Chesty isn't exactly a beauty pageant winner either and the outfits they put her in are amazing awful examples of what I'm guessing was maybe fashionable for a 1920's burlesque show and even that's a little doubtful. The outrageousness of it all does prevail as you get a stupid plot about mobsters and Chesty's revenge for them killing her boyfriend. You also get DEEP THROAT star Harry Reems as one of the tough guy baddies and a little blood here and there. Worth a look just for it's unbelievability if not anything else.
 There was another Wishman flick the same year(most likely filmed at the same time) called DOUBLE AGENT 73 where Morgan gets a camera implanted in one boob and becomes a top-heavy secret agent.

SCHLOCK! THE SECRET HISTORY OF AMERICAN MOVIES (2001)

A look at the history of exploitation films that focuses on some of the big names like Roger Corman, Sam Arkoff, Dave Friedman, Harry Novack, Doris Wishman and a few others.  The main focus is really AIP Pictures and stuff that you can find on Something Weird Video.  It never really goes too deep and leaves out some important names.  For example-How can you talk about the history of sexploitation movies and not even mention Russ Meyer?  But besides a few glaring exceptions like that it's an entertaining overview of the flip-side of Hollywood and a look at the battles people had to fight back in the day to even get their controversial films shown.  Of course if you actually went in-depth about everyone who had anything to do with B-movies from the 30's up until the 70's this film would be about 20 hours long so it's decent for what it is attempting to do and has all the expected cool clips and interview segments.  

THE AMAZING TRANSPLANT (1970)

In some type of subconscious fit of masochist excess I keep watching the films of crappy sleaze-film maven Doris Wishman.  I know that they will never be all that good but I keep watching no matter how boring or stupid they are and this is one of the dumbest and also pretty boring to boot.  This one involves a man named Arthur who gets a penis transplant from his buddy that was apparently a murdering rapist, who only killed women with cheap gold earrings and then Arthur himself becomes a murdering rapist, who only kills women with cheap gold earrings, because of the demented penis or is it a haunted penis?  Well either way it's bad news for Arthur.  Why does he get a penis transplant you might ask?  Well his buddy was a hit with the ladies so naturally it was his magical penis that turned all the women on or something like that.  The whole movie really doesn't make any sense.  Arthur blackmails the doctor into performing the ridiculous operation and then when he realizes he's a homicidal maniac he turns around and blames the doctor like it wasn't his own idea in the first place!?  Plus you don't even get to the penis transplanting stuff until about an hour or so into this so most of the film consists of soft-core sex scenes which pad out a majority of the running time.  Of course this will not stop me and I will be watching more Doris soon enough(DEADLY WEAPONS or maybe the original SATAN WAS A LADY) and keep hoping for the best but knowing she will keep crushing my dreams of quality smut.

Snazzy trailer!:

SATAN WAS A LADY (2001)

Oh, Doris what were you thinking?  The final movie made by the queen of 60's sexploitation/nudie flicks is a pretty big comedown from her glory days of churning out low-budget 42nd Street material.  I sorta knew that a shot on video sex movie made in 2001 wasn't gonna have quite the same style or appeal to me as a nice grimy old time sex movie made with no sound on real film but I had to see it anyway just for historical purposes.  You just can't go back to those days when this stuff held the power to titillate.  For one thing the proliferation of hardcore porn only being a click away takes away the naughty forbidden aspect of it all.  The other problem might be the fact that this movie is filled with some really unattractive people.  Lead actress Honey Lauren isn't bad but she does sport a strange hair-do (with what I think are supposed to be devil horns?) that detracts from her looks but besides her and one stripper we see briefly (who for some strange reason starts out naked and gets fully dressed onstage???) there are just a lot of ugly people reading lines like they're in a fourth grade play.  The major problem though, I found, was the inclusion of beat-nick looking, singer/songwriter Glynn Styler who's meandering dreary songs eat up so much of the running time it's ridiculous.  Who would let a guy like this play in between strippers anyway?  The movie would probably be under an hour without having to hear every bit of his songs.  You do get  the bizarre lingering shots of a lamp for no reason that spotlight Ms. Wishman's unique style of directing so that was something.  I gotta check out the original X-rated 70's version of this with Annie Sprinkle.  I have a strong feeling it will be more up my alley.

KEYHOLES ARE FOR PEEPING (1972)

 An ultra-silly sexploitation comedy directed by the great Doris Wishman.  I'm not sure who directed the sex scenes but they seem a little too close to being hardcore for Doris to have done them.  Sammy Petrillo plays his usually annoying self toned down slightly from his heyday of impersonating Jerry Lewis.  Manuel the superintendent is the highlight of comedy relief.  Like many sexy movies of this time the actual sex scenes, unfortunately, just serve to grind everything to a complete halt and take up the majority of screen time.  Not Wishman's best but still work a look for a cheap laugh.

MY BROTHER'S WIFE (1966)

This is the story of a sleazebag named Frankie who fucks over his brother Bob by screwing and conniving Bob's young wife Mary. A fairly simple film in the Doris Wishman catalog. Available on a great double bill from Something Weird video and obviously shot in the same apartment as INDECENT DESIRES. This nudie quickie is actually pretty engaging and moves along well. There are some crazy editing choices though with weird cuts to inanimate objects abounding. I do feel like the final reel is missing from this print though as we're led up to a big final conflict between the two main men protagonists and the the film just ends with this weird scene of Frankie seemingly waking up from a dream and regretting his shitty decisions in life. I don't think it was supposed to be a dream though. Perhaps Bob kicked his ass. Maybe someday there will be a super-duper special edition that clears up what the hell happened but I kinda doubt it.

Buy this here you pervy fucker!: http://www.somethingweird.com/

INDECENT DESIRES (1967)

This really shoulda been titled THE TOUCH OF PLASTIC or DOLL LOVER or something like that, cuz this title is completely forgettable. It's about this nebbish, who looks like one of those bad-guys in AEON FLUX, who finds a doll in a garbage can and uses it to do some voodoo stuff on this blond chick. That's it. You get naked 60's gals doing naked ballet/yoga, a pretty lame sex scene and the main girl being groped and abused by this creep with a doll fetish. The putting out of a cigarette on the dolls face is particularly mean. The cast consists of 5 people. Director Doris Wishman did believe in keeping it simple and this is about as simple as they get. Would probably be more entertaining as a short but even at 75 minutes this movie seems to drag along. I will say that it creates a creepy feeling from the unexplained and pretty hopeless events going on. Sort of a crappy lost OUTER LIMITS episodes with lots of nudity. Check it out if your into retro-bizzaro stuff.

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