IRON FIST: THE GIANTS ARE COMING (1970)

 Caught this on a double feature of very oddball superhero movies recently with ROBOT NINJA. Not sure which one is weirder but being made in Turkey this is clearly more foreign to me. The Iron Fist of the title is actually on of our bad guys who has a metal fist that he shoots out of, the other is a rather effeminate Fu Manchu character who are both battling it out to find some secret treasure or something. Our hero is a cop who doesn't actually seem to have any superpowers but sometimes, for reasons that are never really explained, wears a superhero outfit to help him fight crime(I guess it gives him that extra oomph he needs!). This ensemble consists of a kind-of Superman outfit with Batman's belt and a mask(I guess they just used whatever costuming they could find?).  Complete with surf music(including some Ennio Morricone and Blue's Theme from THE WILD ANGELS), a hook-handed henchman, belly dancing and machine-gun gals this is a good one for trash movie fans. Sadly there are no giants to be seen. 

ROBOT NINJA (1989)

 I had pretty low expectations going into this superhero movie but was pleasantly surprised by director J.R. Bookwalter's dumb but super gory tale of a horror-obsessed comic-book artist/nerd who kinda/sorta gets to live out his fantasy of fighting crime. You can certainly tell that this was directed by the guy responsible for THE DEAD NEXT DOOR since some zombies show up in a dream sequence, limbs get chopped off, eyes are gouged out, wounds gape open, rape occurs and blood flows copiously in one of the grossest superhero movies I've ever witnessed. Bookwalter himself claims that this is his worst film but I think I personally dig it more than his more well-known debut film. Robin from the 60s BATMAN TV-show(Burt Ward) and scream queen Linnea Quigley show up to add to the schlocky goofy feeling of it all. You mileage may vary depending on your tolerance for cheesy violence.

 

HOUSE OF THE LIVING DEAD (1974)

 

 This one was a real slog to get through. Retitled to make people think it's some kinda zombie flick, which it very much is not, what you actually get is a very slow-moving story of a mad doctor who's trying to transfer souls between living things or something like that. He's also really freaked out by horses and enjoys bloody player pianos and abusing monkeys. This has a very lively and loud final scene which might help wake you up after you've slept through the rest of this clunker. 

 AKA CURSE OF THE DEAD and DOCTOR MANIAC(this title is the closest to what you actually get). IMDB claims this was released on video as KILL, BABY, KILL but I think they might be confusing the fact that the Mario Bava movie with that title was also known as CURSE OF THE DEAD.

WICKED MEMOIRS OF EUGENIE (1980)

  Director Jess Franco had already made a few Eugenie films with similar plotlines throughout the 70s. This includes 1970's EUGENIE... THE STORY OF HER JOURNEY INTO PERVERSION and then EUGENIE in '73. While Uncle Jess was no stranger to reusing plots it seems to me that oftentimes his original versions were better than his rehashes. In this one you get Lina Romay as the slave of a rich couple who thinks she's a dog(does this count as bestiality? or is it just being a furry but without the costume?). There's a staircase that almost looks like that one in that M.C. Esher painting which I guess adds to the psychedelic feeling of it all. There's, of course, lots of nudity and sleazy components. Our Eugenie here, Katja Bienert, is only 15 years old if you go by her IMDB birthdate so let's hope that is not correct(this was 70s Europe though so who knows?) since she's pretty naked for a lot of this. Sadly most of this is pretty slow and snooze-inducing though so check out his earlier Eugenie's first. AKA EUGENIE...HISTORY OF A PERVERSION and EROTISMO

TOWER OF EVIL (1972)

  Pretty gory for a British film of this era, this film deals with 2 groups of people who end up an an island, with a tower on it and some caves under it, who end getting murdered one by one. Also lots of nudity and some disfigured monstrous killers. Pretty basic stuff if you've seen any slasher movie but hey this was 1972 and we weren't drowning in those type of films just yet. 

 Retitled and rereleased as BEYOND THE FOG in 1980 after John Carpenter's THE FOG came out to fool people into thinking it was a sequel. AKA HORROR ON SNAPE ISLAND

Known in Mexico as THE TOWER OF HORROR!:

Groovy 70s triple feature with that movie where a mummy tells you sex stories and that BONNIE AND CLYDE on motorcycles flick!:

HORROR HOSPITAL (1973)

 A great example of 70s British horror. You get a naughty dwarf, a car that lops heads right off, a slimy, burned-up monster running amuck and of course an insane doctor(Michael Gough) who runs a horrific hospital(where he lobotomizes people to make them happy to be his personal army?). There's obviously some social message about the generation gap with all the young long-hairs being menaced by the old weirdos as was a popular concern at the time. There are a slew of AKA's including COMPUTER KILLERS, DEATH WARD #13 and EASTWORLD(to no doubt confuse people into thinking they were seeing the sequel to WESTWORLD which also came out this same year). 

Released on video under the lurid title of DOCTOR BLOODBATH!:

RAWHEAD REX (1986)

 I always thought that the demonic monster, or Pagan god, or whatever he is that's featured in this looked really cool in photographs in Fangoria magazine but when you see the actual rubbery suit in action it's a bit of a letdown and seems perhaps more suitable for an old Godzilla movie(Still preferable over any modern-day CGI though). That being said this is still an enjoyable amalgamation of a 50s monster with an 80s slasher movie. Kids are not spared, multiple heads roll and a priest is baptized in monster urine among other nasty bits. Based on a short story by Clive Barker there are worse bloody 80s horrors you could watch.

 

                                                  The old VHS cover:

BATTLE CREEK BRAWL (1980)

  Released in America as THE BIG BRAWL, this was Jackie Chan's first big shot at international stardom. Kind of reminiscent of Clint Eastwood's EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE since it concerns a street fighting tournament mixed with some comedy(sadly no orangutans though). Features bald tough guy wrestler Hard Boiled Haggerty as the main baddie and Kristine DeBell from that adult version of ALICE IN WONDERLAND as Jackie's girlfriend(and even though this is set in the 1930s and we do hear people use the "chink" slur no one seems to mind this interracial couple.). A entertaining enough watch but it would take Mr. Chan another 15 years before he would really become the breakthrough star, outside of just being loved by hardcore kung fu fans, with RUMBLE IN THE BRONX.

FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL (1974)

  The final film in Hammer studios Frankenstein series brings back peter Cushing as the naughty doctor and teams him up with a young admirer and emulator of his work(Shane Briant). The monster is played by David Prowse who among other hulking monsters over the years would go on to famously play Darth Vader. Taking place in an insane asylum this is a decent enough watch though I often find the endings to these Hammer monster movies a bit of a letdown and this one is no exception there. It also leaves the ending open for more adventures of our wacky mad scientists which sadly didn't happen. 

Played in England on a weird double bill with a Shaw Brothers kung fu flick from 2 years prior: