NAUGHTY CHEERLEADERS (1985)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

BAD GIRLS (1981)

 A bunch of hot chicks go camping and end up in a sex dungeon.  Pretty decent flick from the early video days that takes advantage of it's outdoorsy setting and throws in the unexpected S & M ending scenes.  One of the main girls, Pia Snow, went on to change her name to Michelle Bauer and become semi-famous by starring in a million shitty shot-on-video horror movies.  This was her only hardcore flick.  John Leslie plays a guy who chops wood a lot and Ron Jeremy is a young horny boy-scout type fellow.  There's 3 official sequels and there's R and X-rated versions of this on VHS because some areas of the U.S.A. didn't appreciate the rougher dungeon stuff.

AMANDA BY NIGHT (1981)

 I've seen this movie referred to as an adult version of the Jane Fonda movie KLUTE but I've never seen that one so I can't say how close this is.  I have read that was a big inspiration and the basic plot, about prostitutes getting murdered, is similar.  What I do know for sure is what you get here is probably one of the most well made XXX movies ever.  The acting is all around good, the story about prostitutes being murdered is engaging and the sex scenes make sense and don't feel completely shoehorned in as they often times do in movies like this.

 Our two main characters are played by Veronica Hart and cult Eurotrash movie fav Robert Kerman and this movie really shows them at their best.  Packed with greats from the olden days of porn like Ron Jeremy(who has a standout rape scene with Lee Carroll), Jamie Gillis(as a sleazy hitman named Friday), Lisa DeLeeuw and a bunch more.  I particularly thought Samantha Fox, as a heroin shooting strung out junkie whore, really added a lot to the grittiness on display.  A great movie to show to someone that epitomizes why it was called the golden age of adult films.

 The director Robert McCallum a.k.a. Gary Graver went on to make a bunch more XXX flicks on into the late 1990's but I doubt he ever topped this one. 

Oh Ron, you were so svelte back then!:

THIS LADY IS A TRAMP (1980)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

ANDRE THE BUTCHER (2005)

If you ever thought to yourself "wouldn't it be cool if Ron Jeremy played Leatherface" then this might be the movie for you.  In this shot-on-video story of cheerleaders vs. a crazy cannibal you get the porn legend looking like Leatherface wearing a welding helmet for some reason(he never does do any welding though).  The positive things about this are the good-looking cheerleaders(which bring us boobs and lesbianism) and it seems to have been filmed well enough for what it is(this was shot on video but then put through a filter process to make it look like film).  Overall though it's extremely stupid and would probably have appealed to me a whole lot more when I was around 10 years old because that's the level of humor throughout.  I did get a chuckle out of Jeremy/Andre throwing his hands up like someone scored a field goal every time he succeeds in killing his victims by throwing a large knife into them.   And that's about all you can hope to get from this, a couple of chuckles here and there and then long stretches of wishing you were watching something better.  You get a Pam Grier "Foxy Brown" rip-off character, a hillbilly narrator that reminded me of Uncle Jesse from THE DUKES OF HAZZARD, completely stupid supernatural powers from the killer and an annoyingly shitty nu-metal soundtrack.  I'd say skip this one unless you are some kind of weird-ass Jeremy fanatic or just want to see something a little too retarded even for me.

THEY BITE (1996)

Super silly rubber suited fish monsters terrorize a porn movie crew in this sort of remake of HORROR OF PARTY BEACH mixed with HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP.  This movie was way more entertaining than I expected it to be.  I had never seen any other Brett Piper movies so I was anticipating this one to be a typically horribly made low budget sort of affair.  It was surprisingly humorous and effective for what it was trying to be.  I particularly enjoyed the porn producer character who yells 90% of his lines at the top of his lungs.  Ron Jeremy is featured as part of the porn film crew.  Even though this was made in 1996 it has a very 80's flavor to the whole thing.  I can't say how any of Piper's later shot-on-video stuff is but this one is worth checking out if you like goofy ass monster movies.