DEAD AND BREAKFAST (2004)

  This is one of those dreaded horror/comedy mash-ups that all the cool kids love. I guess we can blame THE EVIL DEAD franchise for that. This one comes complete with terrible rockabilly songs, terrible rap songs, a retarded dancing zombies(I guess technically they're demons but they sure act a lot like zombies) sequence. Some of the actors here went on to do other notable things but the only one I really recognize is Jeffrey Dean Morgen as the sheriff who went on to be Negan in THE WALKING DEAD series. David Carradine shows up for a quick paycheck and Anthony Perkin's son Oz ends up becoming zombified/demonized and plays the main baddie from there on out. On the plus side there's quite a bit of gore in between the stupidity. I probably wouldn't have ever bothered with this if it wasn't part of a recent movie night gathering with some friends. 

DEATH WHISTLES THE BLUES (1964)

  This is an early Jess Franco flick and is part of his "film noir" series. It's pretty atypical of what Franco would do later on. There's no nudity, excessive zoom lens action and the plot is pretty straight forward. Unlike where most noirs are set this takes place primarily in Jamaica and not some dark city. You get multiple shootings, fist fights, mystery and intrigue all in dazzling black and white. While I do prefer the more outrageous sleazy epics Uncle Jess would give us in the later decades I will try and check out more of his early stuff to see some of his more competent filmmaking. 

Given the very James Bond-ish title of AGENT 077: OPERATION JAMAICA in French-speaking countries:

DEMON LUST (1980)

  While this is technically a rape/revenge movie it has to be one of the tamest and slowest-moving examples of that sleazy subgenre of thriller. It does have some parallels to the vastly superior STRAW DOGS in that it deals with a couple having marital problems tasked to deal with some local scumbag rape-happy hooligans.  Most of the movie sadly features our main couple forlornly looking at each other, the rape scenes happen off-screen and the revenge isn't all that particularly enthralling. I did read somewhere that this was a made-for-TV deal but unless South Africa(where this was made) had some weird idea of wholesome family entertainment in the 80s, given the subject matter here, that seems a little hard to believe. AKA SAVAGE ENCOUNTER

There aren't any actual "demons" in this and it's not even really a horror film but I'm sure this title helped rent a few VHS tapes back in the day!:

ALWAYS ON MONDAY (1964)

  Better known as MY TALE IS HOT(the version I watched actually had both titles pop up!) this is a 60s sexploitation/nudie-cutie flick where the devil tries to get a married man to not be such a faithful husband. Complete with a twist ending this is a goofy relic that's worth a look for something bizarre. Famous stripper of the time. Candy Barr shows up in some footage that obviously looks like it came from something else. The cheap-ass Lucifer outfit looks like it would fit right into that Mexican SANTA CLAUS movie. Would make for good background footage at your local trendy hipster bar.  

THE MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS (1959)

  One of my all-time favorite 50s monster on the loose flicks. The monster here is basically a beefier version of THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON with an extra-ugly head(and since he's land-based is really closest to the villain of THE CREATURE WALKS AMONG US). Unlike ol' classic Creech though this monster rips people's heads right off and walks around with them which was pretty wild stuff for 1959! While obviously not as iconic as the Universal monsters this guy will always hold a special place in my heart and should be loved by any self-respecting monster kid out there.

Also the fact that he adorned one of my favorite punk rock band's album cover gave him extra street cred in my book!:

Originally played with OKEFENOKEE which was some crime drama set in the swamp.

                                                     "Shock award winner!":

BLOOD BEACH (1980)

 Released around the same time as JAWS 2 the idea here seems to have been "lets take the menacing monster from those movies and just move it to the sand". There doesn't really seem to be too many other idea at work though. You do get Paulie(John Saxon) from ROCKY and John Saxon doing decent enough jobs as cops though there's not ever really much mystery as to what is going on. 

 Sort-of Spoiler alert - the monster ends to being a something that looks like the giant man-eating flower from LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS.

 There's an uncut extended version of this with a little more gore in the attack scenes. 

BLOODTIDE (1982)

  I was familiar with the beauty of Lydia Cornell thanks to the Ted Knight sitcom TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT back in the 80s. While Miss Lydia does not get totally naked here we do get the next best thing with her being scantily-clad and/or in a bathing suit for most of her screen time here. Unfortunately while ogling busty 80s actresses is entertaining that's about the best thing I can say about this very slow-moving sea-monster flick that takes place on a Greek island. You do have some heavyweight actors here including James Earl Jones, Jose Ferrer and Martin Kove of KARATE KID fame but the story itself is not all that engaging for the most part.  AKA DEMON LAKE and RED TIDE. Shown on TV as DEMON ISLAND.

PARANOIA (1970)

  Having already seen the other Umberto Lenzi-directed film known as PARANOIA I couldn't pass up the opportunity to catch this one down at the local weirdo art theater. Just like that earlier film this one stars Carroll Baker. This time she gets involved with her ex-husband(Jean Sorel), his new wife(Anna Proclemer) and her daughter(Marina Coffa). Murder, mystery and gaslighting ensue. It plays like a sorta giallo-lite since there isn't all that much in the way of blood or killing and it deals more with various relationships. There are some twists and surprises to wrap everything up and some very stylish wardrobe and cinematography on display. AKA A QUIET PLACE TO KILL

 This is supposed to be the final part of a very loose trilogy that includes the 2 PARANOIA movies and SO SWEET, SO PERVERSE all featuring Baker and very messed up relationships!

JUNK (2000)

  This one mixes a Japanese yakuza film with a zombie movie, which sounds way better than what you actually get. It tries to mine ZOMBIE/DAWN OF THE DEAD and RESERVOIR DOGS territory but ends up being a lot closer to one of those crappy RESIDENT EVIL movies(which it actually predates by a couple of years) and your typical Tarantino rip-off. The fx work is decent enough for what is obviously a low-budget affair. I recall enjoying similar Japanese zombie flick BIO-ZOMBIE more but it's certainly in the same ballpark. 

          This DVD cover(with the German title) really plays up the RESIDENT EVIL similarities!:

and this British DVD tries to make an EVIL DEAD comparison:

BLOOD STALKERS (1976)

 It's a little hard to write about what I dig about this one without spoiling it. With that said beyond it's regional(Florida everglades) trappings and overall seventies downer hillbilly vibe what I like most about this one is that it's a monster movie up until it becomes not so much of a monster movie and ventures into revenge movie territory. You get a chicken man, a group of hicks(which include director Robert W. Morgan) that seem like a biker gang without motorcycles, furry bigfoot-like monsters(or maybe not) and even some 70s gore via sickle, knife, gun and axe killings. 

 One of the axe murders dons the oversized VHS tape case I own of this so I guess they weren't too worried about spoilers there. 

 The alternate title of THE NIGHT DANIEL DIED might be giving a little something away also.

 

The old bloody VHS cover!:

FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD (1965)

 The heart of the Frankenstein monster ends up in Japan at the end of World War II, gets hit with radiation from an A-bomb and then grows into a Japanese giant monster. He then goes on to battle giant, floppy-eared, horned dinosaur Baragon(not to be confused with giant, horned dinosaur Barugon who battled Gamera a year after this) and if you're watching the Japanese print a giant octopus. It's goofy monstrous thrills and since our Franky monster doesn't have to wear a big bulky rubber suit he gets to be a bit more acrobatic in his fighting style than is usually seen in these films. Good for a cheap laugh if you enjoy Asian monster on the loose epics and this is helped by Nick Adams very intense dubbed American accent. AKA FRANKENSTEIN VS. BARAGON

 This was followed by WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS the next year which I would probably rate slightly higher than this one but they would make for an excellent classic monster double feature. 

ELEPHANT (1989)

  I thought I had already seen the stupidest movie with the title ELEPHANT a while back when I watched Gus Van Sant's take on the Columbine school shooting  but apparently I was very wrong. Compared to this thing that one was an absolute masterpiece. This here is just a 39 minute long, very repetitive, series of assassinations of people by guns and that's it. Barely any dialogue, no plot, no reasons given for anything that happens, just violence for violence's sake, or in this case, according to director Alan Clarke, to point out that violence is bad. While I'm no expert on the horrible violence between Ireland and England in the 80s and before, this certainly didn't teach me anything. Maybe if you're more familiar with the whole thing, this would resonate more vividly. From what I know though the killings, which often employed bombs and other implements of destruction weren't always quite as neat and painless as depicted here.  This was made for, and shown on, British TV which explains why it's not super gory but seems amazing that it ever actually got shown.  

PEARL (2022)

   Shot concurrently with it's sequel, X, and then released after it as a prequel, this takes us back 61 years to tell the back story of the killer in the first film played by Mia Goth. X was, by far, the better of these 2 films and it's clear why it was released first. Just about anything set in the 70s is going to be more entertaining to me than something set in Texas of 1918 and I generally don't think this film would hold much interest if you hadn't seen the other movie first. It's basically a fairly lame, but very well shot(throwbacks to THE WIZARD OF OZ abound!), slasher movie about a homicidal kook who wants to be a star. 

  

 There is a planned 3rd movie in this franchise which will be an actual sequel set in the 1980s, which if you're making a slasher movie seems like obviously the most fitting decade.