CASTLE OF THE CREEPING FLESH (1968)

 Spanish horror(though it was shot in Germany) that takes place(mostly) in an old castle. While this is not your standard haunted castle situation it's kinda hard to decipher exactly what's going on here. Howard Vernon plays a mad scientist trying to bring his daughter back to life with the help of a bunch of gross open-heart surgery footage. There's a bloody wild bear attack, multiple rapes, drunken partying and gratuitous use of a speech from Shakespeare's HAMLET. There's also ample nudity and Janine Reynaud(from Jess Franco's TWO UNDERCOVER ANGELS) getting it on. Franco is also credited as the writer of this which makes sense when you watch it. This was probably pretty shocking stuff in 1968. 

 Apparently the original Spanish version has a longer ending but I'm not sure I'd want to watch a longer version of this. 

 AKA APPOINTMENT WITH LUST, CASTLE OF BLOODY LUST, IN THE CASTLE OF BLOODY LUST, CASTLE OF LUST and CASTLE OF UNHOLY DESIRES

CEMETERY MAN (1994)

  This is one of those horror films that it seems like everyone I know, that's into such things, just loves and I can never really figure out why. Sure there's sex and violence and some pretty lame zombies show up intermittently but I guess the mixture of a faux-artsy-fartsy Italian gore film with a comedy just never sits right with me. It's probably also due to being such a fan of Italy's superior 70s and 80s horror junk that this one seems so pale and pointless by comparison. It seems to get praise for being intellectually deep which it isn't while also appealing to the gorehound which all the philosophical nonsense negates but apparently my view is in the minority so judge for yourself I guess.

STRIKE BACK (1981)

  Revenge in 80s Germany featuring a Dolph Lundgren-looking fellow named Dave Balko. Scored with some new-wave/punk of the time this one isn't terrible even if it's also not all that engaging of a story. To be fair I've only seen this on a crappy-looking VHS so perhaps it would be somewhat improved if one of these boutique labels got their hands on it and cleaned it up. 

FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS (1960)

  This sci-fi film was originally released in Europe in 1960 as THE SILENT STAR. 2 years later it was brought to the U.S., dubbed, given a new soundtrack and edited down(removing around 13 minutes) which tweaked the storyline a bit and re-titled FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS. If you're looking for a cheesy b-movie this really isn't it since things are more in the serious department which can be a bit boring. Does look like they spent a lot of money on this for the time and the FX work looks really good. It also seems to kinda predict stuff like 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. The full uncut original version is probably the way to view it if you're interested in this genre at all. 

RESIDENCE FOR SPIES (1968)

Jess Franco gives us a comedic spy movie here starring Eddie Constantine who was famous for starring in Jean-Luc Godard's ALPHAVILLE a few years earlier. This was before Franco delved into the more sleazy/exploitation portion of his career which is really the stuff I love best so this one is not anywhere near the top of my personal favs. Might be of interest to fans of 60s James Bond and spoofs of that sort of stuff but I don't think the action is anything near what you would want from your standard spy flick of the era.

FRENCH SEX MURDERS (1972)

  The weirdest thing about this Italian/German/French giallo flick is that the police inspector in it does a Humphrey Bogart impression throughout. Apparently actor Robert Sacchi did that bit in a bunch of stuff including THE LOVE BOAT tv show. Besides that weirdness this is a pretty good mystery that takes place in France and centers around a whorehouse. There's a few misleading cues that eventually unravel in a  fairly logical way unlike some other films in this sub-genre. There's also a pretty well-known cast of Eurotrash regulars including Howard "AWFUL DR. ORLOF" Vernon, Rosalba Neri, Barbara Bouchet, Anita Ekberg and others.  Black gloves, bloody killings and sexy women! 

Released on video in Norway as CALL GIRLS FOR INSPECTOR BOGART!

                   Known in Germany as THE EYE OF EVIL!:

                                   Known in Italy as APOINTMENT HOUSE:

Known in France as MURDER ON 17th AVENUE:

The video release in England really played up that Bogey likeness!: 

THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST (2009)

 

  The first movie in this Swedish series was a great combo of thriller/horror/action and drama while the 2nd film, THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE, leaned more heavily into the all-out crazy action-movie genre this one course corrects to more of an all-around action/thriller similar to the first film and is a great way to tie everything up. It's kind of crazy that all 3 of these films were made so quickly and were released within the same year in Sweden, especially since they're all so long. There are 2 versions of this one out there, the theatrical 2 and a half hour cut and TV version that clocks in at over 3 hours! 

 I've never seen the Americanized version of the original movie, released only 1 year after the Swedish one was released in America, and it seems really pointless but perhaps because it was done by David Fincher it won't be as disappointing as I suspect.

 In 2018 there was another American film based on this book series, THE GIRL IN THE SPIDER'S WEB, but that was based on something written after the original author Stieg Larsson had died and was a bit of a bomb so I'm in no hurry to check that out. 

   

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2009)

  In the 2010's(when this was released in America) this seemed to be a pretty big deal, it was based on a series of books and garnered a big fancy Hollywood remake in 2011, but since then it seems to have dropped off of everyone's radar and I never see it referenced at all. That's kind of a shame since this is a really well-done movie that mixes drama, thriller, horror and action. There's Nazis, rape, serial killing and our main character(Noomi Rapace) is a brooding goth/punk chick. The one downside is that this film, and each of the subsequent sequels, are over 2 hours long! They do move quickly enough that it's not a drag but it certainly makes me never want to rewatch any of these very often. 

SPECIAL AGENT L.K.: OPERATION KING MIDAS (1967)

  Eurocult director Jess Franco goes the comedy route this time. Not just a comedic take on James Bind but a simulation of a comic book with captions and word balloons that pop up from time to time. There were quite a few of these silly Bond cash-ins made in this era and I'm not a huge fan of any of them but this was mildly amusing and something outside of the usual Franco sleaze milieu. 

 More commonly known as LUCKY THE INSCRUTABLE. 

SHE KILLED IN ECSTACY (1971)

  This one is a pre-Lina Romay film by director Jess Franco. Instead of her we get Soledad Miranda running around killing off doctors to get revenge for her dead husband(Fred Williams). These doctors were all on a board that didn't approve of experimenting on fetuses and stripped this Frankenstein-ish fellow of his medical license which then leads to the drastic measure of taking his own life. I've seen some folks argue there's a pro-choice message in this but I think that might just be wishful thinking since, as with many of Franco's movies, the narrative is not all that clear in the morality department. What is clear is that Franco is certainly a master of mixing the sleazy with the stylish and that is on display here quite a bit. You get Miranda in lots of sexy outfits, Howard Vernon's peen on full display, Franco himself as a rather slimy-looking doctor, castration, death by an inflated pillow and a really snazzy jazzy soundtrack!   

 This would sadly be Soledad's 2nd to last film(EUGENIE DE SADE would be the last) as she would die in a car accident in the same year this was shot.

Ladies and gentlemen I present "the world's smallest subtitles!!":

THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970)

  While this is not my favorite of director Dario Argento's giallo films(DEEP RED holds that position) it is the one that kicks off his run of super stylish mystery-killer flicks and made him a director to watch from then on in the process. So it deserves credit just for historical purposes if nothing else.  Argento was called "The Italian Hitchcock" after this for obvious reasons but his films would get quite a bit more graphic and colorful than anything ol' Hitch ever put on film as time went on. This one was somehow originally only rated GP when released in American but it's still an important starting point and essential viewing for Eurotrash connoisseurs.  AKA POINT OF TERROR and THE PHANTOM OF TERROR

Japanese poster:

GERMAN ANGST (2015)

  The only reason I watched this artsy-fartsy gore movie is that director Jorg Buttgereit, of NEKROMANTIK fame, was responsible for the first(and probably my favorite) episode in this anthology film. I can't say it was the best thing I've ever seen but it certainly does deliver on the brutality and gore quotient. Deliberately plotless tale of a young gal who castrates and decapitates her tied-up abusive dad. The fact that we don't actually see any of this abuse, and just the torture and death, makes it pretty clear that the constant narration about her pet guinea pig are very apropos. The 2nd chapter is an equally blood-filled story about a couple who are accosted by some toughs and get some help from a magical amulet. This one has some crazy gore-filled Nazi flashbacks and almost non-stop ultra violence. The 3rd part deals with a sex-club with a secret sexy monster-lady or something like that. This one was my least favorite and seemed to drag on. Overall I guess this is worth a look if you just wanna see some gruesome imagery with not a lot of plot to get in the way. 

VAMPYROS LESBOS (1971)

  I kinda get this mixed up with director Jess Franco's other vampire chick flick FEMALE VAMPIRE but this one is obviously more lesbian-centric. Also, instead of Lina Romay, we get Franco's earlier muse Soledad Miranda(who sadly died in an automobile accident the year before) as the sexy bloodsucker. It definitely contains that Franco artsy/sleazy style and has a pretty groovy soundtrack(I'm lucky enough to own the album) to accentuate all the lesbo antics. Ol' Uncle Jess shows up as a murderous psycho who likes to torture gals in a basement to get his jollies, there's an evil henchman named Morpho (just like in THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF except without the ping-pong ball eyes this time) and the plot is very loosely based on Bram Stokers DRACULA with a Dr. Seward character(Dennis Price) and Drac himself being name checked a few times.  While not my very favorite Franco flick it's for sure up there towards the top of the heap. 

THE SWINGING STEWARDESSES (1971)

 If I've gained nothing else from watching a bunch of Swedish/Swiss sex films recently I now appreciate the beauty of Ingrid Steeger more than I ever did before. She's really the main draw of most of these films and this one is no exception. Not really any sort of a plot to speak of here. Some stewardesses get naked and get laid. Most of the movie doesn't even take place on a plane so it's really just the most basic standard soft-core sex flick that's a series of sexy scenes strung together. Has a bunch of AKA's including STEWARDESS REPORT, SWEET SENSATIONS and NAKED STEWARDESSES

          Rated X when shown in America but this was still before X was hardcore and explicit:

THE YOUNG SEDUCERS 3 (1972)

  The DVD I have of this is titled CALENDAR GIRLS but the onscreen title shows that it's actually the last part of THE YOUNG SEDUCERS trilogy. Luckily it doesn't seem to have any real plot to worry about and is instead just a series of sexual vignettes told by a gal(Ingrid Steeger) who has run away from a Catholic all-girls school. German star Steeger is very easy on the eyes and things are pretty explicitly shown but do stop short of being hardcore porn despite following a very porn-like formula. Sadly Ingrid only gets nekkid in the last couple of scenes. There's also some very lame comedy thrown in. 

 This has also been released on video as SCHOOL GIRLS 7: CALENDAR GIRLS making it part of a VHS series that I'm not familiar with but would like to learn about. 

LISA AND THE DEVIL (1973)

 Even though I'm a big fan of director Mario Bava and star Telly Savalas this has never been one of my favorites. I think it's because it comes down a little too much on the artsy-fartsy side of things and a lot less on the side of actually having any kind of engaging plot. It all looks good, of course, and Telly is good as the devil but if I ever feel the need to re-watch this I will probably go with the super-exploitative, EXORCIST-rip-off, re-edited version know as HOUSE OF EXORCISM but I know that's not a popular choice amongst the majority of horror fans. 

 Interestingly Bava wanted to get Bette Davis to play the blind countess role here but ended up with Alida Valli, which just kept reminding me of SUSPIRIA and how much better that movie is to this. 

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU (1968)

  I've never seen any of the other Fu Manchu movies in this series but this, and the other one directed by Jess Franco, have the reputation of being the 2 worst. I can't really argue with that since it took me a few attempts to get through this one. Christopher Lee plays the title role so I can assume if these movies were popular at all they would have been cancelled by now so at least that's cool. You do get some torture scenes, nudity and women get bitten on the tit by a poisonous snake giving them super-powers to kill anyone they kiss(hence the alternate title of KISS AND KILL).  Sadly it's all a bit boring and too slow-paced to be very engaging. Maybe I should check out the earlier installments sometime.

Christopher Lee's Fu Manchu series:

 1. THE FACE OF FU MANCHU (1965)

2. THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU (1966)

3. THE VENGEANCE OF FU MANCHU (1967)

4. THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU (1968)

5. THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU (1969)

THE RED QUEEN KILLS SEVEN TIMES (1972)

  There's a killer dressed like Little Red Riding Hood offing folks in this giallo. The lovely Barbara Bouchet is our prime suspected killer, or is it her sister(Carla Mancini) who's supposed to be dead? Well I'm not gonna spoil that because one of the big draws of these types of flicks is always the crazy explanations at the end. You get lots of stab-happy antics, a crazy lady spiked on the top of a fence, a rapey junkie dragged down the street to his demise, a couple of girl fights and a young Sybil Danning looking very different than she would in the 80s.  The film itself is pretty typical though the stylishness really added extra points for me. AKA THE CORPSE WHICH DIDN'T WANT TO DIE and BLOOD FEAST

Retitled as BLOOD FEAST and paired up with Joel M. Reed's horror anthology flick:

MY NAME IS NOBODY (1973)

 This spaghetti-western manages to pull off the trick of combining comedy(in the personification of Terence Hill from the great TRINITY series of films) and serious pathos(via Henry Fonda's performance as the aging gunslinger, Jack Beauregard who's just looking to get away to Europe and retire). It probably didn't hurt that it was produced by Sergio Leone with a score by Ennio Morricone. It recycles that sped-up slapping gag from the TRINITY movies but I imagine this one had a much bigger audience, at least here in America, thanks to Fonda's name. While never reaching the epic feeling of Leone's other masterpieces it's still up there near the top as far as Euro-westerns go. 

THE MAN HUNTER (1980)

  So this ping-pong-ball-eyed cannibal monster man gets the KING KONG treatment(girls served up as helpless victims for him to rip the hearts out of) from the local tribesmen, who I think are also supposed to be cannibals, but it's kinda hard to tell since the one thing this cannibal film severely skimps out on is any actual cannibalism on display. The film mainly deals with a kidnapped starlet(Ursula Buchfellner) that's taken to the jungle, that just so happens to contain a tribe of cannibals and said bug-eyed monster, and then pursued by our hero, and director Jess Franco fav, Al Cliver.  There's lots of nudity, a fairly mild rape scene and heads do roll since our monster enjoys ripping them off. 

 On a personal note many years ago I mistakenly left my VHS of this at my sister's place and was horrified at the thought of my young nieces viewing such a sleazy film. At least it wasn't CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST or anything remotely as traumatizing.  AKA DEVIL HUNTER, MANDINGO MANHUNTER and SEXO CANNIBAL

                                 

                               Known in Germany as A VIRGIN AMONG CANNIBALS!:

                                            and France got a very RAMBO-looking poster!: