DON'T TORTURE A DUCKLING (1972)

  While I find Lucio Fulci to be a bit over-rated by fans of Eurotrash cinema in general he is, at least, a director who left his mark on cinema and made some quite memorable entries into the horror genre. This not very stylish giallo deals with a bunch of children being murdered which is some pretty sordid subject matter. It might have been a bit more shocking though if all the kids in this weren't such repulsive perverts. I mean the ugly little weirdos main interests seem to be prostitutes and smoking from what we are shown. Not that this is any reason to murder them but exactly how bad are we supposed to feel when they end up strangled to death by an unknown assailant? The kid-killing does take place mostly off-screen. Fulci, as is usual for him, saves all the hardcore violence for his female characters. A particularly rough scene of Florinda Balkan as an insane witchy character being beaten to near death with chains by the local vigilantes might be tough for many to sit through. The standout scene for me happens at the climax though where we see one of the worst looking dummies(or in this case probably a mannequin!) fall off a cliff and sparks fly out of it's head as it falls down and hits some rocks. It makes whatever slow bits there are here worthwhile.

In Canada this was given the alternate title of THE LONG NIGHT OF EXORCISM which seems really strange since this couldn't be further from an EXORCIST-rip-off!:

ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER (1969)

 I gave this film a pretty crappy review way back in 2012 when I caught it in a theater in New York City. Having re-watched it again recently at home under the ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER title I had almost the exact opposite reaction to it. Not sure if it was because of a shitty film-print, the alternate title being that different? or the many beers I consumed before I first watched this way back when making me extra surly, but I'm gonna just treat this like a first time viewing and write about it all fresh-like:
 This might be the most stylish of director Lucio Fulci's earlier films. Not really being a huge fan of some of his other films from this era I was a bit surprised to find this one very entertaining. This may have quite a bit to do with the super sexy Marissa Mell(best known to me as Diabolik's chick from DANGER: DIABOLIK) in the lead female role which is actually two different roles, or is it? While I suppose this is technically a giallo, it's really only barely a giallo with only one death for most of the film and it plays out as more of a straight-on mystery. You do get the twisty ending and a big reveal but it's more concerned with the journey of  a cheating husband(Jean Sorel)  and his attempt to solve the puzzle of his murdered wife. We go through a snazzy stripclub, an artsy photography studio and all over San Francisco and Paris which all show off some striking visuals that I wasn't so sure Mr. Fulci had in him. All in all I think this might be my new favorite Fulci from before he became the blood-soaked gorefather we all know and love.

 

THE GATES OF HELL (1980)

 I had an opportunity to view this at the drive-in last weekend, the way God intended, and seeing it on the big screen under the stars is really the best way to view something like this. Like most of director Lucio Fulci's 80s gorefest this one doesn't really make much narrative sense and is more of a spectacle showing off some crazy fx. The most noteworthy of which, to me, is the intestines puking scene which I guess technically isn't even a special effect since they just had an actress vomit up some some sheep intestines which seems a pretty hardcore way to treat your actors. There's also a great super-realistic head-drilling bit, a hanging priest, the horror of being buried alive, bleeding eyeballs, maggot-rain and lots of zombie hijinks. While the movie is technically a zombie film you don't get the usual gut-munching and these ghouls prefer ripping heads apart which means they must be pretty friggin strong. I have read that Mr. Fulci didn't even want zombies in this at all and was going for a more supernatural horror vibe but the producers insisted so they could make this part of his "zombie" trilogy which includes the movies ZOMBIE and THE BEYOND even though they don't really have much connection besides these creatures appearing in them. While for my money HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY is Fulci's best from this period they are certainly all worth a look for gorehounds and 80s horror creeps. AKA CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD

 

Known in Germany as A ZOMBIE WAS HANGING ON THE BELL ROPE??

A LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971)

 Although I love director Lucio Fulci for his gore-filled 80's romps, this here might be one of my least favorite giallos. I mean there's only one murder throughout the whole movie and much of the film is filled with dream-logic and if there's one thing I hate in films it's dreamy interludes that just take up time. On the positive side this does lead to a memorable scene where a giant duck flies overhead and that's something to see. Also you get another dream where some dogs are split open with their guts hanging out and hung up like some gruesome puppets. I recall reading somewhere that Fulci had some legal problems and had to go to court for alleged animal cruelty which is pretty amazing since, regardless of how gross they look, these are obviously not real dogs. Overall there's plenty of nudity and other various great visuals to look at even if the whole movie never makes very solid sense and it moves along fairly quickly for a murder-mystery with almost no murder in it. OK, so maybe this isn't my very least favorite giallo but it's definitely not one of my favs. Fulci-fanatics seem to really enjoy this though so check it out if you're one of those. AKA SCHIZOID



This was reissued under this less artsy very much more blunt title:

French people like boobs on their VHS tapes!:

AENIGMA (1987)

 This nerdy chick, who kinda looks like Olive Oyl, gets a horrible prank pulled on her, gets smashed by a car and ends up being put in a  coma. From there it's time for her psychic revenge or something. Wait a minute, wasn't there already an Australian movie about a guy in a coma getting revenge called PATRICK? Yes there was and although I don't recall much about that one I do remember the Italian sequel PATRICK STILL LIVES being a super-gory dumb film. This Fulci version of this similar story, mixed with elements lifted from SUSPIRIA, is pretty much a shit-storm of crap. It's filled with really dumb death scenes that belong in a ghost movie which this sorta is I guess. In one bit, that is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen, a gal gets killed by snails crawling on her?? This even manages to top the stupidity of the tarantula attack scene in Fulci's THE BEYOND. Also disappointingly, since this was made by the "godfather of gore", there's not much gore outside of a schoolgirl who chomps on a guy in a dream and some bloody heads that never get explained. Stick with Fulci's early 80's gore films unless you just really like schoolgirls making fun of retards.

Known in Germany as DEMONIA(which makes me wonder what they called Fulci's DEMONIA?(apparently they just used the same title for both films, which I'm sure wasn't confusing at all)):

MURDER ROCK (1984)

 You might think that a movie named MURDER ROCK would have some rock music in it. Unfortunately, in this case, you would be completely wrong. This was pretty much the start of Lucio Fulci directing really crappy horror films up until he died, which is a shame because his earlier 80's films are some of my favorite gore masterpieces. You might also think a movie from a guy known as "The Godfather Of Gore" might have thrown a few gruesome kills into this giallo-esque story of a black-gloved killer but again you would be wrong here. Your killer here prefers to chloroform his victims and then stick a hatpin into them which might be one of the most boring un-cinematic ways to kill someone besides maybe just choking them or bonking them on the head with a club. This one is all-around disappointing for gore-hounds looking for a fix or giallo fans looking for an interesting plot. On the plus side if you enjoy spandex-clad female asses and homages to the movie FLASHDANCE(one of the alternate titles for this is, appropriately enough, SLASHDANCE) this might work for you, otherwise not so great. AKA THE DEMON IS LOOSE & DANCING DEATH

This movie even makes a shitty music video!:

CHALLENGE TO WHITE FANG (1974)

 This is the second of the Lucio Fulci-directed White Fang films. This one features Franco Nero in the main role and Donald(DR. BUTCHER, M.D.) O'Brien shows up in a small part. Naturally the real star is White Fang who according to this film hates people who cheat at poker. Apparently these were pretty popular movies in Italy at the time cuz they made a bunch of them. The weirdest thing is that these are kid's films featuring a little boy and a dog but they also contain lots of violence. This one has an old guy who loses his legs and then gets burnt alive, a couple of Indians who gets massacred for their sled and other various killings. Also our titular dog hero suffers through some eye-violence thanks to some asshole killer bird(this, of course, being something Fulci would become famous for later on in his career thanks to ZOMBIE). I'm pretty sure this is not something you would see in any modern-day Disney movies.
  The other thing about these movies is that they love throwing them on spaghetti-western box-sets even though they're not really westerns but I guess as long as you thrown in at least one barroom brawl it narrowly qualifies. AKA THE RETURN OF WHITE FANG

THE BEYOND (1981)

                                                "Attack Dickie attack!"

 Lucio Fulci goes balls out with the gore in this Italian splatter classic.  It's basically a highlight reel for the special FX work of Gianetto de Rossi(that ranges from amazing to terrible) strung together with a really stupid plot about a woman buying an old hotel in Louisiana that happens to be right over one of the doorways to hell(alternate edited version title=SEVEN DOORS OF DEATH).  There's tons of blood, a dog who fights zombies, a couple of face meltings, an annoying little girl, a guy gets crucified, the world's dumbest spider attack scene where the fakest looking tarantulas ever rip a guys face apart using big chomping pincers, star David Warbeck loads his gun by shoving bullets down the barrel and I think the apocalypse happens.  Besides all this stupidity I find this movie totally enjoyable due to the obvious glee in which Fulci presents everything also the insane vibe of all this chaos makes for an awesome ride.  A necessity for true gore-hounds.
 I've read a few places where this was supposed to be a sequel to GATES OF HELL but there's really no direct connection besides a similar theme and zombies shoe-horned into both.

THE FOUR OF THE APOCALYPSE (1975)

 Gore godfather Lucio Fulci directed this predictably bloody spaghetti-western that features four criminals(a gambler, a prostitute, a drunk and a crazy black dude) who get set free and travel around together and get into some bad situations.  Fabio Testi is our main star as the slick card-shark leader of the group named Stubby but the highlight for me was Tomas Milian who mostly played heroes in these types of films but here is pretty awesome as a bad-ass sharp-shooter named Chaco who isn't above torturing his enemies and murdering whole families of religious types.  There's one scene (which oddly wasn't dubbed) where Chaco starts skinning a guy alive and then sticks a sheriff badge right into his bare chest.  Not the kind of violence you usually get in westerns but this did become Fulci's trademark style.  There's also some peyote usage, cannibalism, rape and bloody shootouts that make this worth checking out for Fulci fanatics or just folks who enjoy a decent violent western.  I did think the out-of-place 60's folk songs they chose to throw in were a bit weird.

PERVERSION STORY (1969)

 Starting with ZOMBIE Lucio Fulci made some of the best and most most gory Eurotrash films of the 80's which makes him a noteworthy director in any sleazy movie fans book.  Unfortunately before that era he made a few giallos including this one and I'm not really a big fan of them in general.  DON'T TORTURE  A DUCKLING is the best of the bunch and worth seeing but this here and A LIZARD IN A WOMEN'S SKIN I find to be pretty weak all around from the convoluted plots to the stupid twist endings.  There's really no comparison between his mediocre stuff and the real masters of this genre(Bava & Argento) and I can't help but feel I could be spending my time watching something made with some real artistic style and not a more typical hack job of a film.  This particular film is barely even a giallo with only one murder and not much in the way of violence.  It's more of your standard mystery and that's never as exciting for me personally.  On the plus side you do get some nudity here with 60's strippers and implied lesbianism so at least there's something to look at before you zone out from boredom with the nonsensical storyline. AKA ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER

THE NEW YORK RIPPER (1982)

 This is one of the best Lucio Fulci flicks in my opinion. It doesn't contain any of the supernatural elements that his most well known splatter movies do and I think that's one of the main reasons it appeals to me so much. It's all down and dirty 80's New York set grime where vagina's get sliced open, broken bottles are rammed into crotches and there's plenty of other various slashings and stabbings and it's all done by a Donald Duck-voiced psycho. What you get plotwise is basically a straight forward giallo story that throws a bunch of gore and heavy doses of sleaze into the mix and I think that's a really good recipe. It feels like Fulci was watching something like Argento's DEEP RED and said hey I can top that in the filth and disgust department and he did. He might have also been watching MANIAC since this does blur the line between giallo and slasher movie with it's explicit bloody kill scenes. The most memorable sequence in here features a woman getting her nipple and eyeball split in half by a razor blade. There's also a totally scummy sequence where a woman gets sexually molested by a guys foot in a bar that's pretty goofy and it all helps support the argument that Fulci wasn't the biggest fan of females in general but just a delight for lowbrow gorebeasts.

Coming to VHS!:
 

THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY (1981)

 I watch this movie whenever I feel very depressed.  I'm not sure why, I just know it lifts my spirit.  I guess I just imagine the glee with which director Lucio Fulci insisted on filming the most grotesque and gory murder scenes he could.  He lingers on that shit like it's his ultimate statement and I guess it ended up being just that.  You have literally gallons of blood spraying from wounds, knives through heads, stabbings, slashing and decapitated heads rolling.  Watch out for a zombiefied Dr. Freudstein(coolest name ever!) living in the basement of an old creepy house.  My favorite shot has to be the slow pan over assorted body parts, that we assume the undead Dr. is experimenting with, while the new homeowner listens to a tape of the wacky previous owner going insane.  I will admit the slow parts are a drag and that little boy with the big head is totally annoying but if you can get past that this one is a blast for gore-hounds. AKA ZOMBIE HELL HOUSE

And the trailer is narrated by Brother Theodore which is awesome!:

                                        Um, I'm gonna go with children are monsters!:

SEVEN NOTES IN BLACK (1977)

Lucio Fulci made a couple of amazing movies in his career. Unfortunately those were only a couple of movies in the 80's and now he's worshipped by a lot of people like he invented gore or something. SEVEN NOTES IN BLACK, which is probably better known as THE PSYCHIC, is not one of those amazing ones. It starts off with a suicide diving mannequin who rips off her dummy face on the jagged rocks. Even though the effect is pretty laughable It's still a cool scene and it probably woulda been cooler if I hadn't already seen it in Fulci's DON'T TORTURE A DUCKLING, which just reminded me that I'd rather be watching that movie. Anyway that's followed by a bunch of talk and nothing really exciting happening and that's where I drift off and think about how many better giallo-type of movies there are out there. Fulci knew how to shoot ridiculous over-the-top gore movies. Minus that there's not a whole lot there to keep my attention. On the plus side the Goblin music is kinda cool, as usual, in that EXORCISTY/OMENESQUE way.