BLACK SUN: THE NANKING MASSACRE (1995)

Also known as MEN BEHIND THE SUN 4 this is an amazingly nihilistic gross-out of a movie. You get fetuses ripped out of pregnant bellies, a baby boiled alive, decapitations, bloody raping and other exploitative scenes mixed in with actual footage of naughty World War II Japanese soldiers to create a really powerful message about the cruelties man subjects his fellow man to in the name of power or glory or whatever other excuse nations want to use to justify barbaric behavior. I thought this was better done than the 1st MAN BEHIND THE SUN movie which was fairly similar and directed by the same fellow. The main difference is this one doesn't cover any of the medical experimentation stuff just soldier on civilian brutality. PHILOSOPHY OF A KNIFE is supposed to be the epitome of the Japanese WWII war atrocity films but that thing is over 4 hours long!! I've personally only managed to sit through about 1 quarter of it because it moves so damned slow and seems pretty boring. This film here cuts right to heads rolling action. So check it out for an interestingly depressing time.

Cool documentary about director T.F. Mou:

SISTERS (1973)

“Did you know that the germs can come through the wires? I never call and I never answer. It’s a good way to get sick. Very, very sick… That’s how I got so sick! SOMEONE CALLED ME ON THE TELEPHONE!” - the Lysol lady

Not in any way Brian De Palmas best work. I'm thinking CARRIE for that although most people would probably pick SCARFACE. This is still an interesting Hitchcokian rip-off kind of movie with a great bloody Dario Argento/giallo style murder scene in it. It gets bizarre enough in parts to boggle your mind and it's engaging enough to make you wanna see what the outcome is. Also feels a bit like a David Cronenberg film in parts. You could definitely do worse than to check this one out.

STANLEY (1972)

A true example of a grind-house film made in the early seventies in the golden year of 1972. That year seems to be the pinnacle of low-down trashy cinema. A magical time that doesn't seem to ever be in danger of returning. I guess when people accept mindless uncreative trash as entertainment there's no need to write anything above a 2nd grade mentality and we get stuck with garbage cartoons like AVATAR that pass for creativity. I'm not sure what that has to do with this killer snake flick but I just figured I'd share some thoughts. Anyhow what you got here is a snake-lovin' hero who ends up not really being much of a hero by the end but the twists are all part of the bizarre ride. There's also one great nutty villain here in the stripey-pants psycho acid-head with the matching bowling shoes. I think I may have found a future Halloween costume here. A good movie for snake-lovers like the lady I watched it with or people that want to see snakes smashed about in a graphic manner cuz U get that also in a most un-p.c. way. But don't worry it's all for the sake of the plot. Yes it's sort of a snake filled version of WILLARD but check it out. I recommend it despite the horrific folk music soundtrack.

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DOGGY POO (2003)

Wow, this Korean stop-motion kiddie movie, starring a cute piece of dog crap, is pretty amazing. It's kind of the Asian equivalent to DAVEY & GOLIATH but way more depressing and instead of being about a boy and his dog it's about a piece of dog shit. Existentialist, depressing, absurd and probably pretty mind-warping for a kid to watch this in any country. I think if I was 5 years old and slightly more impressionable it might make me afraid to flush my own shit down the toilet. Definitely something to experience. Can't imagine there's gonna be an American trend where all the little kids are into poopie but who knows. Perhaps 7-11 will have a grand tie-in and we can all get shit cups to put our shitty coffee in.

THE DEFIANCE OF GOOD (1975)

One of the best classic 1970's porn films. DEFIANCE is the bizarre tale of young Cathy played by young Jean Jennings(whose age at the time of shooting has been questioned by some). She's kicked out of the house by her parents, sent to a hospital to be cured of her "drug problems" where she's molested and raped by the other patients and the help. From there she ends up in a crazy-ass s & m "clinic" run by Fred J. Lincoln (who, of course, played Weasel in THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT). Lincoln here does an amazing job as the guru/teacher who breaks down Cathy's morals to rebuild her anew using spankings and other bondage type stuff. A sleazy weirdo porn from the golden age. See it and then take a shower you scumbag.

SATAN'S SLAVE (1976)

OK so if you take a soap opera and cut in a bunch of scenes of Satan worshiping and sacrificing people and stuff like that you would have this movie. There are also some sorta bloody murders here and there and a few naked boobs. This description makes the movie sound better than it is. I mean it has all the key components of a good exploitation flick but I think the main problem is that this film is British and like many British films it's just very boring. I wish I could recommend this one because on paper it looks like a winner. I can't really but if you find it for $1 or so go for it.

AKA EVIL HERITAGE:

CAPTAIN KRONOS: VAMPIRE HUNTER (1974)

 I put off seeing this movie for a long time. Not sure why. I guess it was my apprehension at watching another boring period-piece Hammer studios film about vampires. Well this one is sorta different. There's no Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee and it actually moves along pretty quickly for a Hammer flick. I kept thinking about how this was such a better version of BLADE(a movie that I detest for all it's shitty-CGI-ness stupidity). Caroline Munro is great as Kronos' main chick and there's a hunchback sidekick. Hunchback's make just about any horror movie just that much better. This fella kind of reminds me of Riff Raff from ROCKY HORROR for some reason. This was originally supposed to be a series and it's kinda sad that they never made another one due to the shitty reception this got at the time from the public. Maybe I'll actually go back and check out some other Hammer stuff even though some of it is as dull as watching a pretty painting for 2 hours.
My only question is why is that guy on my DVD cover? That's not Kronos at all!




Bonus trailer!!:

Super cheesey 50's KRONOS:

BOARDING GATE (2007)

Asia Argento and Michael Madsen talk a whole bunch in this one. Some other stuff happens but the action never gets exciting. I think the only reason to ever watch this is to see Asia in her underpants or less for many scenes. You would really have to be Asia Argento's biggest fan to appreciate this movie on any level. I am a pretty big fan of hers but I still wouldn't recommend this. I also blame Madsen for making yet another boring movie. It feels like forever until anything happens and it's not all that exciting when something does. Watch SCARLET DIVA or maybe THE HEART IS DECEITFUL... instead. Great boobs though!

The trailer ain't so great either!:

BLACK DYNAMITE (2009)

Awesomely done spoof/homage to the 1970's blaxploitation genre. Everything looked authentic in this. It's a shame that there was no advertising or promotion of this thing anywhere. My and my girlfriend were the only 2 people in the theater to see this showing. Damn shame. How this even got released into theaters anywhere is kind of a mystery to me. It really stands no chance of making any money with the brain dead crowd of typical moviegoers these days. Most black audiences in the times we're living in now will probably be offended by the insane stereotypes. It's too bad films can't be fun/ridiculous anymore without offending the childlike sensibilities that people insist on carrying on their sleeves. It's movies like this that make me miss the 70's even more. Captain Kangaroo pimp!!?? Pair this up with BLACK DEVIL DOLL for an amazing double-feature of modern-day flashback insanity!

HIT AND RUN (2009)

Well if you like movies full of people doing totally illogical things just to move the movie along with little rhyme or reason to anything that happens you will love this. If you prefer movies with some type of logic you shouldn't watch this. For example there's a guy who is a victim of a hit and run who comes back from the dead and turns into a maniac bent on torturing the girl responsible just so the movie can emulate one of those SAW piece of shit movies. It just doesn't make any sense. There are only a couple of people in the whole movie and they're all really annoying. This is probably the worst thing I've seen in a long time. The only reason I even own this is because I mistakenly thought this was the Stuart Gordon movie STUCK when I picked it up. Big mistake! Now I need to get that one.

Fuck HIT AND RUN here's the STUCK trailer. It looks like a comedy which couldn't be any worse than the brainless horror movie route that H & R chose.

FLICKCHART

My top 10 on Flickchart:
1. THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY
2. TRUE ROMANCE
3. DOGMA
4. KILL BILL Vol. 1
5. CITIZEN KANE
6. YOJIMBO
7. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
8. FAHRENHEIT 9/11
9. THE GRADUATE
10. TAXI DRIVER

Now this site doesn't have an extensive amount of cult and/or exploitation films so that does skew things towards a decidedly more mainstream list. Also the way it ranks stuff is very random. If I arranged this list myself TAXI DRIVER would of course be on the top and I'm pretty sure TRUE ROMANCE and FAHREMHEIT 9/11 wouldn't be in the top 10 at all. But this site is a cool time-waster for movie-geeks even if it is frustrating as well. So check it out.

www.flickchart.com

DEAD SNOW (2009)

Mindless fun Nazi-zombies in the snow movie. They got a fat movie nerd, sluts and all the typical stupid people in a slasher movie thing going on. The movie does seem to get sillier and sillier as it goes along so if you're not into stuff like BRAIN DAMAGE, DEAD ALIVE and THE EVIL DEAD, which this movie is trying really hard to be, you might want to skip it. I saw this one as part of an all-night horror movie fest and it kept me awake in the late hours so I guess that means something. Even if you're sick of zombie movies in general, which I pretty much am myself, this one has enough silly things going for it that it works for what it is. There is another foreign nazi-zombie flick that's supposed to be coming out eventually called WORST CASE SCENARIO which has an amazing trailer but I believe they ran out of money at some point so who knows what's going on with that one. Oh yeah and DEAD SNOW a.k.a.- DOD SNO is from Norway so learn to read subtitles you stupid inbred hillbilly assholes that can't do more than one thing at a time. I mean seriously if you can't look at subtitles and pay attention to a movie at the same time you really have some kinda brain deficiency. How the fuck do people like that even cross a street? "Ein! Zwei! Die!"

PINK FLAMINGOS (1972)

What can you say about one of the greatest cult/underground/midnight-movies ever made? Did they pass a law at some point in the late 70's-early 80's that outlawed insane/crazy/original sleaze movies from being made? John Waters stopped making them and since then who has stepped up to take his place as Prince of Puke or Sultan of Sleaze? Not anyone in this country that I've seen. There's those brainless gore movies that try to be more "brutal" than the last one i.e.-AUGUST UNDERGROUND and its sequels. But stuff like that isn't even anywhere near the level of subversiveness or entertainment as this 30 year old piece of filth. Waters was a genius in his own disgusting way. 30 years from now I can't imagine anything being made today being held up as anything worthwhile for any reason or even remembered. But what do I know? Maybe time has a way of making garbage look better in hindsight. Many people would argue that about this movie too I suppose.