THUNDER KIDS 2: WONDERFUL MISSION(1990)

Could have been filmed in 1990 or 1980 or even 1970. There's no relation to anything from any of those decades visible to me. The dubbing is wonderfully absurd. Everyone calls the buddha "the booder" or something like that?? Basically, it's just a really crappy kung fu flick with some ninjas thrown in here and there. The other THUNDER NINJA KIDS movie I've seen, THE HUNT FOR THE DEVIL BOXER, at least has some horror elements thrown into it with those hopping vampires and all that silliness. This one doesn't even have that to amuse you. Joseph Lai produces, Godfrey Ho directs under the name Charles Lee. The kings of splicing movies together and ending up with a mess. 2 names you never hear involved in anything good. Great movie to put on if you need to take a nap.

the burter?:

VAMPIRE GIRL VS. FRANKENSTEIN GIRL (2009)

Probably my favorite of the new wave of recent extremely gory/extremely strange ultra-violent Japanese movies that I've seen. They are all full of horrible looking CGI and so is this one. I think the addition of intentionally comedic bits helps out a lot though. Overall it's a hyper bizarre mix of industrial music, monster fights, hot Japanese schoolgirls, wrist slitting competitions and strange black worship which I think is gonna come off as pretty racist to most Americans who see this. Knowing a little bit about the ganguro trend (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganguro) helps ya kinda see where they're coming from with that. In fact, the whole thing is a strange mockery of Japanese teenagers, trends and high school. This is also the 1st one of these things I've caught in a theater which doubled my appreciation. It was very cool to actually see this in a theater even though I had to sit near a loud gentleman who smelled of hot dog water.

THE FILTH AND THE FURY (2000)

 If you're a fan of The Sex Pistols you've probably seen all this footage before, of course, but director Julian Temple juxtaposes it with relevant stuff and adds some new commentaries by band members to make it an interesting watch. Still haven't seen his Joe Strummer documentary yet but the Pistols have always been so much more interesting and entertaining, to me anyway, than The Clash. Temple was also the director of THE GREAT ROCK 'N' ROLL SWINDLE back in 1980 which was a pretty piss poor fantasized version of this. Would make a sorta schizophrenic double feature though.

BAD GIRLS DO CRY (1965)

Cautionary tale mixed with sleazy sexploitation nudie-cutey. Star Misty Ayers was a stripper back in the 50's but she doesn't even get nude in this. We just get to see her in some old-timey underpants. Pretty depressing story where things just go consistently wrong for our dopey heroine. She starts out with a crappy job slinging hash and then gets an even worse job being kept as a slave prostitute. She meets a guy who seems like he's gonna help her out but things just keep getting worse. Not the most uplifting thing to watch on a Sunday morning with a hangover but they do try to give you a neat little wrap up and a strange ending which basically says we're all doomed until we wipe out all crime. The absurd comedy bits with a strange Redd Foxx looking gentleman don't work at all. Pretty bleak for such a silly movie. This thing was supposedly filmed sometime in the 50's and not released until 1965 and it certainly looks like it.

UP IN SMOKE (1978)

The marijuana generations answer to the 3 Stooges? Maybe. This is the best C & C movie for my money. Even if just for the amazing rock fight/battle of the bands scene at the end. Silly, stupid and funny. The only problem that I found was the DVD I watched of this had no boobs in it. Now I may be delusional but I do recall boobs in this thing. Hell, those were the most memorable scenes from the movie when I was a young boy watching it for the 1st time. The bust scene and in the back of the van there were bare tits. Nice ones too!! The Paramount DVD has no boobs to be found anywhere. Why would they release a cut version of the movie? The thing even has deleted scenes on it. How the hell do you include deleted scenes and then take out scenes that belong in the movie? The movie was still funny but tits make everything that much better. Fuck you Paramount!

RESURRECTION (1999)

Russell Mulcahy is a director I've never been into. A lot of people love HIGHLANDER but having seen it back when I was a kid I was completely lost and not a fan. Besides his Australian killer pig movie, RAZORBACK, I could care less about his whole filmography. This one is a typically bad 90's piece of crap. It's about a religious psycho who is trying to rebuild the body of Jesus with parts from his victims which he's gonna bring back to life on Easter?? Not a great plan? It's basically a rip-off of SEVEN which itself is just an over-rated big budget Hollywood horror movie. Of course they call them thrillers cuz only creeps like me watch horror movies. But thrillers are OK to watch with your grandma. Fuck you too Hollywood. The only thing I found interesting is that David Cronenberg shows up in a small part as a priest but that doesn't make the movie much better.

This guy would look right at home on a Cannibal Corpse album:

SHOCK (1977)

Daria Nicolodi vs. a bunch of inanimate objects? Mario Bava's last movie is a pretty big letdown from the Italian master of the gothic horror film. This one's basically a pretty stupid, mostly boring haunted house/possession movie which then turns out to not even be what it seems to be. The twists aren't unexpected at all. My main problem is the annoying little jackass kid in this. Is every little boy in Italy an irritating little pansy? If you watch enough of these Italian horror flicks you would definitely think so. In this one he's even kind of the hero of the story. A hero who no one will root for due to his grating performance. Hard to believe this was the same director as DANGER: DIABOLIK or BLACK SABBATH. It seems closer to one of the crappier Lucio Fulci films like MANHATTAN BABY or THE PSYCHIC or something like that. A.K.A.- BEYOND THE DOOR II (I've never seen BEYOND THE DOOR but after watching this I don't really know if I need to)

A nifty double feature with that killer alien on Earth movie!: 

MOON(2009)

Best serious science fiction movie I've seen in a long time. Beautifully shot and thought provoking look at humanity. The acting by Sam Rockwell is amazing in what he singularly conveys. Shot on a pretty low budget but doesn't look like it at all. Similar themes to BLADE RUNNER, which if I expound on and talk about it or the plot too much it spoils the movie. There are twists and turns that I didn't expect the first time I watched it and I hate when assholes give everything away in a review. So see it for yourself if your any kind of a sci-fi fan. I'm not sure if I'm gonna rush back and watch this again anytime soon though as it contains some fairly depressing ideas but overall it sits up there with the greats like 2001.

TARGETS (1968)

Boris Karloff Vs. Charles Whitman? Well that's the basic idea behind this thriller starring the iconic horror star. Karloff pretty much plays himself and the sniper is a slight variation of Charlie. It is a little dull until the shooting starts and the 2 story-lines meet up at the end. This was considered a B-movie at the time but doesn't really look like one. This is one of Peter Bogdanovich's first films and the only one I've ever seen. The ending is not all that satisfying but overall it's not bad. Bogdanovich's VOYAGE TO THE PLANET OF PREHISTORIC WOMEN with Mamie Van Doren sounds like a winner that I have to check out at some point.

Targets are people!:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981)

A pretty forgettable slasher flick from the early days of the genre. It's hard to imagine that at one time they could actually get real actors to be in these things but, like in this one, they did get at least a couple. Stars that deaf chick from LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE, which always make me look at this like it's some kind of bloody TV movie of the week, plus Glenn Ford who was an old-timer going back to the 30's. The shish-kabob in the mouth murder scene is pretty much the only memorable thing in this and they even put it right on the poster. Filmed in Canada so it has that kinda MY BLOODY VALENTINE feel to it only not nearly as good. I also really hate the music in this thing especially the shitty end theme. Yuck!

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980)

What can you say about the granddaddy of all cannibal movies? I caught this for the first time on the big screen last night, after seeing it countless times on VHS and DVD, and really enjoyed the intensity of it all. The only negative thing I can point out is the inappropriate use of music in certain scenes which goes along with the repetitive use of a couple of music beds. Kind of reminds me of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT in that respect, but the completely absurd music in that one works better as a jarring contradiction. CANNIBAL FEROX is a more bat-shit crazy version of this which, if I wanna see a nutty exploitation movie, I prefer due to its lack of any silly moralizing. But this one still reigns as the epitome of this small disgusting genre. P.S.- please stop crying about animals being killed if you eat meat you hypocritical jerk-offs.

SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE (2005)

The 3rd part of director Chan-Wook Park's "vengeance" trilogy is my least favorite. If you blink you're lost. The cuts in this film go back in forth in time and place constantly. There seems to be a million different characters to keep track of. In comparison MR. VENGEANCE is simplicity and I am a firm believer in keeping it simple for the stupid people out there like myself. It also seems to go on way to long which is a problem I feel it shares with OLDBOY. The scenes are all shot beautifully though and the ending is a very powerful one in which vengeance does run wild but that again goes on after the movie could have ended. All in all I view this whole series as starting out great and getting not so great as they go on. I do have to re-watch OLDBOY again at some point. That one seems to be everyone's favorite except mine.

The American trailer seems to simplify things and turns it into a straight ahead revenge flick which it really isn't:

PLEASURE PALACE (1979)

A pretty forgettable 70's porn. Stars a lot of the greats of the golden era including Jamie Gillis, Robert Kerman(of CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST fame)and Eric Edwards who all do a good job. My main problem is the version I have of this is the soft-core one available on a double-feature DVD with PUNK ROCK. At barely over an hour long it feels like I'm missing a bunch of fuck scenes. Kind of reminds me of my younger days watching spliced-up porn on The Playboy Channel and while that would've gotten me off when I was 13, nowadays I just feel cheated. Not to say that all those dicks and vagina's would really make the movie better, it's just that if I'm gonna watch anything I wanna see it all. Does have a great soundtrack though. I can't imagine them doing this with any porn flicks today. I mean the things would run about 10-15 minutes at most I would think.

After Hours is great for putting out this obscure stuff and this quadruple feature looks enchanting: