EATEN ALIVE (1980)

 Not to be confused with the earlier Tobe Hooper killer crocodile flick, this is director Umberto Lenzi's second cannibal flick(his MAN FROM DEEP RIVER back in 1971 pretty much invented this subgenre). This is the one that combines a very Jim Jones-inspired cult in the jungle story with your more typical cannibal antics. Instead of The Amazon this time we're in New Guinea and Lenzi doesn't skimp on the gore. Of course a good portion of the most gory bits are all from other movies including DEEP RIVER, SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD and JUNGLE HOLOCAUST but hey it's the thought that counts! Porn star R. Bolla(Robert Kerman) stars and he would return in Lenzi's final cannibal epic CANNIBAL FEROX the following year. 

 It's hard to rank these classic cannibal movies in order of entertainment value since they're all pretty similar. This one is somewhere in the middle for me with FEROX and CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST being on the top though. 

AKA DOOMED TO DIE and THE EMERALD JUNGLE

Released on video as DOOMED TO DIE:

Released somewhere as simply CANIBAL:

HALLOWEEN (2018)

  Not only could they not bother to even give this an original name but they also neglected to come up with much of anything else original either. This is supposed to be a direct sequel to the original 1978 HALLOWEEN, ignoring all the sequels, but in essence it seems more like another crappy remake. The presence of original star Jamie Lee Curtis doesn't really help much to differentiate this from any of the numerous sequels that already exist. As terrible as Rob Zombie's remake was at least half of that film tried something new. This one deals a little bit with the trauma of being a final girl in a slasher flick but then basically just follows all the cliches of the genre. There is another chapter already released in what is supposed to be a trilogy but I don't think I really need to ever watch that.

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (2019)

  I remember seeing the first ZOMBIELAND in a theater way back around 13 years ago and finding it somewhat amusing. It was obviously more of a comedy than anything resembling a horror film. I'm not sure why this sequel took so long to appear but whatever. I feel pretty much the same way about this one except there seem to be a lot more annoying characters that show up making it a bit less amusing. My favorite part is probably the return of Bill Murray but they make you wait until the end credits for that. I guess check it out if scary movies are too intense for you. 

FRANKENSTEIN 1970 (1958)

  Boris Karloff returns one more time to the Frankenstein role. Instead of playing the monster though this time he's the last of the descendents of the original Frankenstein family of mad scientists. Of course he gets up to bulding a monster of his own with the help of some nuclear energy. The hulking creature starts out looking really cool with a skull head but then spends most of the rest of the movie all wrapped up like a mummy. There is a cool movie-within-a-movie opening scene, a sorta surprise ending and a weird disposal system for body parts that gives this film the classy distinction of being the first movie to feature the sound of a toilet flushing. I'm not exactly sure what was so futuristic about this movie that they had to make it set 12 years in the future except maybe having an atomic reactor in your laboratory. Clearly not up to the standards of any of the Universal classics this is still a decent watch for hardcore monster kids that have seen all the other Frank flicks.

Alternate Frech title = FRANKENSTEIN VERSUS THE INVISIBLE MAN(even though there is no Invisible man at all!):

MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR (1954)

   This 50s monster b-movie is the first one produced by Roger Corman. It's never really been one of my favorites due to most of it being really slow and talky but it does have a goofy one-eyed squid (that I guess in the movie is supposed to be a giant amoeba). Unfortunately we only really get to see this monster briefly up until the very end when he battles a one-man submarine to the death.Corman would go on to produce and direct a zillion more goofy movies and director Wyatt Ordung wrote the legendarily trashy ROBOT MONSTER a year before this so he's OK in my book.  

                  The VHS cover gave our monster another eye and a nifty deep-sea diving suit!:

DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974)

 Got a chance to catch this 70s classic in a  theater last night and it was a first time watch for me. Seeing it on an old scratchy film print was definitely the way to go. It's now one of my favorite killer kid flicks. Sorrell Brooke (Boss Hogg from TV's THE DUKES OF HAZZARD) is one of our main group of adults who run afoul of a group of murderous little tykes. You get a catfight, booze abuse, retard abuse, piranha in a bathtub, a terrible 70s blanket and future teen-idol Leif Garrett(also featuring his mom and little sister) partaking in some out-of-nowhere cross-dressing. Doesn't skimp on the violence though some of the slow-motion kill scenes are a bit gratuitous and annoying.(not as bad as THEY CALL HER ONE EYE though). Nudity, side-burns and even some J & B whiskey shows up. Good times! AKA PEOPLETOYS and re-released as THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL

P.S. Maybe the creepiest scene in this film is where little Leif and sis drag their real-life mom's naked corpse through the snow!

P.P.S. Instead of a "THE END" credit it says "THE BEGINNING" which seems to suggest a sequel which was never made.

                    Spoiler alert! This trailer pretty much shows ever death scene!:

TERROR IS A MAN (1959)

  This is thought of as being the first of the "Blood Island" films and the co-director here, Eddie Romero, went on to direct all of those later films. This one sort-of plays out like a mash-up of FRANKENSTEIN and ISLAND OF LOST SOULS where we get a mad scientist(Francis Lederer) creating a pantherman who spends a good portion of the film getting treated like shit so he becomes a sympathetic character just like ol' Frankie. The monster, with his panther head and claws and wearing bandages like a mummy, strikes a fairly imposing figure for a 50s monster. The movie is nice enought to ring a buzzer for the squeamish to cover their eyes before we see a graphic surgery scene(actually a scalpel slicing into some pigskin) so that's something. Speaking of graphic displays the one downside to this, since it was filmed in the 50s, is that it never reaches the bloody heights of the later Blood Island movies but it's probably the best-looking of the bunch. AKA CREATURE FROM BOOOD ISLAND and THE GORY CREATURES

Known in Japan(and re-released in America) as BLOOD CREATURE:

1964 re-release poster:

THE BEAST OF THE YELLOW NIGHT (1971)

 70s Filipino horror flick that plays like a throwback to something from the 1950s with a green-faced werewolf-like beast running around slashing people up. Since this is 1971 though we do get some bloody wounds and some gut-munching. 

 John Ashley stars as a dude who makes a deal with Satan(played by Philippines favorite Vic Diaz) that not shockingly doesn't go well. Director Eddie Romero(my 2nd favorite director named Romero!) would next make THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE and a whole slew of cool Philippines-based exploitation flicks. I'd rank this one somewhere in the middle of all those. 

 

            Commonly paired-up with this German Klaus Kinski movie upon it's original release:

VHS cover!:

THE TRIAL OF BILLY JACK (1974)

 I've seen the first two BILLY JACK films(THE BORN LOSERS and BILLY JACK) numerous times over the years and love them dearly so I figured it was time to check out the last two sequels in the series even though I've never really heard much good about them. This 3rd film is super preachy right from the start and tries to be a commentary on the Kent State shooting and killing off student protestors there as well as other violent killings of the 60s and early 70s. The message of non-violent pacifism is also really strong which seems really incongruent with what has been a pretty violent series of exploitation films so far. In fact this one may be one of the most violent of the whole series with hippies and even children being gunned down by the military. Of course this is all to teach us the deep philosophical lesson that violence is bad! I can see why being stuck in the idealistic 60s while the more dour 70s creeped on may have been the reason this film was not much of a success at the time and it seems even more out of place watching it on modern times. Also the close to 2 hour runtime doesn't help at all!

 The next film(BILLY JACK GOES TO WASHINGTON) makes the terrible decision to amp up the politics and greatly reduce the violent aspects making this movie look better by comparison.

 

Long-ass trailer but it's also a long-ass movie!:

LAND OF DOOM (1986)

  Crappy post-apocalypse MAD MAX-rip-off action flick. In between the poorly done action sequences we get our main 2 characters arguing and chatting about how bad things have gotten. It took a couple of attempts to get through this one without dozing off. 

 Our main gal/hero (Deborah Rennard) wears this odd pair of pants that looks baggy in the front but from the back appears to be a thong. Truly the best special effect in the whole film!

                                                     Thrilling action!:

                                      Known as RAIDERS OF DEATH in The Netherlands!:

and known as BAD RAIDERS in Germany!:

THE PEOPLE WHO OWN THE DARK (1976)

   I caught this Spanish horror flick as part of a zombie film holiday weekend at a drive-in recently and while I wouldn't really categorize it as a zombie film it was one of my favorite films that played the whole weekend. Rather than zombies we have the survivors of a nuclear war, who are gangs of blind people, that act enough like zombies that I can sorta see the confusion. Also the plot of this is fairly similar to something like NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD where we have a group trying to fight off an angry mob. In this case it's a group of pervy rich folks and their whores(including Eurotrash fav Paul Naschy as a real douchebag) trying to survive the onslaught. Not overly bloody but very nihilistic right up until it's ending this is the sorta 70s movie that belongs at drive-ins everywhere. 

 The U.S. cut of this is a little shorter than the original with some dialogue scenes removed and they threw in some music from THE BLOB which which somehow works fine. 

 

                                                      Original title = LAST WISH: 

WHO DONE IT? (1949)

  This is one of my favorite Three Stooges shorts featuring Shemp. The Stooges are detectives this time investigating a murderous gang that includes a rather large fellow(Duke York, famous stuntman) referred to as "The Goon" throughout. Shemp has a great freakout scene after being poisoned which is a highlight. Dumb, goofy classic violent and fun hijinks that at 16 minutes never overstays it's welcome. 

 There was an Abbott & Costello movie with this same exact title 7 years earlier. 

A WORLD WITHOUT THIEVES (2004)

  Judging by the DVD cover that has 2 guys fighting on top of a speeding train I had assumed this was more of a martial arts/action movie than what it actually is. While there is a smattering of fighting and a little action here and there(and that train scene does sorta happen) overall this thing plays out more as a drama about a couple who are facing some moral quandries about being thieves. Andy Lau plays the main thief, among many, and wears a wig for some unknown reason throughout most of the movie. Can't say I'd reccomend this to anyone but it did have excellent cinematography and looked well shot for what that's worth.