Sunday, June 20, 2010
THE NURSES (1971)
Have you ever seen anyone take their pants off but it still looks like they're wearing shorts? If your problem with porn films is that the actors and actresses are just too damn attractive then this might be the movie for you. Filled with people you've never heard of who can't act at all and whose bodies sort of resemble Mr. Potato-Head I dare anyone but the most perverted among us to get turned on while watching this film. There are some strange yet funny bits of dialogue and an enema sequence thrown in along with your more typical nurse-bangs-patient segments. One memorable part has a fellow giving a nurse a facial and then telling her he has VD. Yes that's the level of humor here. Another part has a guy wearing a giant paper-mache penis helmet for no reason or maybe I dreamed that. This film exist as a sort-of anti-porn that might make your penis retract into your body and induce sleepiness. For advanced sleaze-beasts only.
I originally came across THE NURSES under a bunch of typical-looking boring 1990's VHS tapes in the back of a store and of course bought this over all that boring jerk-off garbage. I also own this on a specially remastered DVD where I think the movie is even longer which might not be a good thing.