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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Sunday, December 17, 2017

FEELS LIKE SILK (1983)


 Sharon Mitchell and her blonde friend who looks slightly retarded(Dana Dennis credited as Diana Rogers) open up a whorehouse, except that it's a whorehouse where you bring your own whores. So basically they just open up a fancy hotel where they hook up monitors to watch all the sex-activities. Jamie Gillis shows up with Shauna Grant(credited as Callie Aims for some reason) unless you watch the DVD-version of this where his scenes are cut out. Bill Margold plays a Nazi into disciplining his hooker and Jessie St. James and Billy Dee also appear along with a bunch of people that I've never heard of. It's all pretty dull typical porn stuff that was directed by Alan Vydra(credited as Alan Everett) who is a European fellow who had mostly done Euro-porn before this so maybe that's why it's a bit lacking as it seems to be trying for a more artsy feeling and just ends up being extra-tedious. aka DIANA, LOVE AND ECSTASY

 

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

ESCAPE 2000 (1982)


 Director Brian Trenchard-Smith, who is clearly the greatest Australian exploitation movie director, gives us a futuristic fascist government that throws people into re-education camps for the slightest of infractions and then murders them if they do not get with the program to become model citizens. Things start off with a very women-in-prison-feel(even though there are men prisoners also including Steve Railsback who will forever remind me of Charles Manson, whenever I hear his voice, giving me flashbacks to the classic TV-movie HELTER SKELTER, where he so expertly portrayed the world's most famous crazy person) before going into THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME-territory when a handful of prisoners are released only to be hunted down by our Nazi-like guards and warden named Thatcher(very subtle social commentary there!). If all this isn't exciting enough Mr. Trenchard-Smith also throws a naughty werewolf into the mix(I guess technically he's supposed to be some kinda mutant but he sure looks like a werewolf to me) who likes to rip off people's toes and chomp on them like wolf-people do. It's a great mix of action, there's some blood despite cutting away from a few graphic scenes(there is an uncut 90 minute version that is supposed to be quite a bit more graphic in this department), mandatory naked shower scene and heads get blown apart! AKA TURKEY SHOOT and BLOOD CAMP THATCHER(this was obviously the popular British title)

  The title should technically be ESCAPE 1995:
                                           "The blood and thunder shocker" of 1982!!:

Known in Germany as ISLAND OF THE DAMNED:


Sunday, December 10, 2017

SHARK (1969)


 This was originally titled CAINE, which is the name of the main character played by a yet-to-be-very-famous Burt Reynolds, and is a much more appropriately dull title for what is a mostly boring movie. There are sharks involved in the quest for some sunken treasure but they are not the main focus.
 Apparently one of the stuntmen on this was killed by a shark while filming one of the attack scenes and it's still in the film somewhere which they would exploit in promoting it. So I guess if you want to see some snuff-footage in the middle of a fairly unexceptional heist movie give it a look.
 Director Samuel Fuller was mostly known for his film-noirs of the 50s so I guess that's why there are unexpected jazz tunes playing in the background of many scenes. AKA MANEATER

                                                            Hype!!:

 

                          This had some crappy VHS covers that tried to link it to JAWS!:



Known in Germany as OUTSIDER:


Known in Spanish countries as THE FILTHY WEAPON?:



None of the sharks in this are quite this big:



THE WRESTLER (1974)


 Way before that overly-melodramatic Hollywood movie starring Mickey Rourke, came this 70s wrasslin' flick about a promoter(Ed Asner) trying dealing with the mob and the everyday turmoil of the "king of sports". Produced by and featuring world champion wrestler Verne Gagne, who was, in reality, the owner of the Minneapolis-based American Wrestling Association, which was one of the big 3 promotions at the time, this, of course, features a bunch of stars from that area including Dusty Rhodes, Nick Bockwinkel, Larry "The Ax" Hennig, Ray "The Crippler" Stevens(who blatantly kills a guy right in the ring!), The Crusher and a bunch more. If you look really closely you can even see a young fat Ric Flair. Also Vince McMahon's dad Vince Sr. shows up for a meeting of America's top promoters for a super-bowl of champions, which we never actually get to see.
 Having been raised in the Northeast on the WWF I always viewed the AWA back then as the weakest promotion and having an old bald-man as your champion was probably the main reason. Well in this movie they sorta deal with that with Mr. Gagne(for some reason under the pseudonym of Mike Bullard) being forced out of the top spot by Ed"Lou Grant" Asner and up and coming grappler Billy Robinson( called Billy Taylor for no discernable reason) . Sadly in real life Gagne would hang on for another 7 years or so as champ. The overall plot in this thing is pretty weak and they shoehorn in a love story with Asner and his secretary, who acts enough like Mary Tyler Moore that it made me feel uncomfortable to watch,  that goes nowhere and the mobster angle is also never realized by the time the credits role. Hard to recommend this to anyone who's not  an old-school wrestling fan and wants to see whose face will pop up next.  Anyone else would probably be totally disinterested.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

BUCKTOWN (1975)

   

                                            "No coon looks good to a decent man"

 Most of the classic blaxploitation flicks deal with the black man overcoming the evils of the racist white man and a terrible unjust society. This was obviously the most popular plot device for the intended audience of that time. This Fred Williamson and Pam Grier-starring vehicle takes that idea one step further and deals with what happens after our oppressed group rises up and kicks whiteys ass. Spoiler alert: it's not about the skin color but the content of one's character that makes for either beneficial or debilitating leaders. 40+ years after this film was made I don't think the majority of the planet's citizens have grasped this simple concept yet.  But even if you don't care about all the pseudo-political/social-comment mumbo-jumbo this still works as a great action flick where Fred "The Hammer" gets to lay the smackdown on jackasses of many different shades including Carl "Apollo Creed" Weathers, Thalmus Rasulala and your more typical Southern racist honkeys. You get full Miss Grier breasts on show and a killer funky soundtrack.I find this one highly re-watchable every couple of years.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

SECRET OF WOMEN'S PRISON ISLAND (1970)


 I was introduced to this Japanese women-in-prison film under the alternate title of DECAPITATION ISLAND so I was expecting a pretty violent tale. There is one actual (offscreen) decapitation to start thing off and things do get rather graphic in the punishement department for our ladies in captivity but not as many heads roll as I was expecting. There are some unique tortures on display including a bowl of boiling oil that a lady has suspended over her that she has to hold still by an attached chain stuck into her mouth while lecherous prison guards poke her with sharp sticks. Lots of nude female Asian flesh, no real heroes and some samurai-style sword fights to end things. Pretty good WIP flick and unique enough to stand out. AKA ISLAND OF HORRORS

SOme choice scenes!:
Decapitation island 1970 / Watch online


My bootleg DVD has almost the exact same cover as this, which is also the cover for THE JOY OF TORTURE also from 1970 which I have not seen so maybe there are other close similarities:


Sunday, December 3, 2017

WAKE IT UP, KILL IT 4 (1994)


 The DVD that I have of this says it's called SPIRITED KILLER but the actual onscreen title is WAKE IT UP, KILL IT 4 (or at least that's the best translation I can figure out since it's all in Thai. It could also be WAKE IT UP TO KILL for all I know) which means this is the 4th part of a series of Thai movies that I'm gonna guess deal with zombies or ghosts of some sort that have to be killed. Not that any of that matters because the plot is pretty simple and has to do with an evil wizard/priest/magician? who kills some folks and then is chopped up with machetes by some angry villagers and then returns along with a very TERMINATOR-like ally to wreak his vengeance. I think this "monster" is also some sorta zombie but maybe his origin is  explained in the earlier films. There's one terrible musical interlude that reminds me of every Bollywood flick that is the low-point and the high-point is whenever two ridiculous badly-dubbed stoner types have any dialogue. The whole thing basically plays out like a slasher movie mixed with a kung-fu film and ultimately it's all pretty unremarkable.
 The only reason this received a DVD release here in the U.S. at all is because Tony Jaa is in it(but only briefly) and he has been touted as the new Bruce Lee for a while now though I'm not sure he has the personality or presence of Mr. Lee in his prime.

 The 3 films that precede this are:
1987 -  WAKE IT UP, KILL IT
1989 - WAKE IT UP, KILL IT 2
1990 - WAKE IT UP, KILL IT 3 aka THE NAKED HAUNTED GHOST

 There are two more supposed sequels in this series(though I have no idea if these are the actual original titles or even actual sequels of any kind):
1997 - SPIRITED KILLER 2: AWAKENED ZOMBIE BATTLES(doing further research it looks like this actually was released in 1991 which would make it obviously not a real sequel but possibly a prequel?)
1998 - SPIRITED KILLER 3: GHOST WARS(looks like this is from 1991 also and originally titled SONG KRAM PHEE)

Fabulous dubbing!!:

KUNG FU ZOMBIE (1981)




 Very similar to KUNG FU FROM  BEYOND THE GRAVE which came out the next year, also starred Billy Chong and had him battling zombies and a vampire brought to life by a goofball priest/wizard fella. This one has ghosts being thrown into various dead bodies being reanimated to get some chopsocky revenge. Exactly what the revenge was originally for I was never exactly clear since the plots get a bit muddled in the wacky dubbing job these Hong Kong martial-arts films often get. If you don't dig comedy-fu this one is really not for you. It's about 70 % slapsticky cartoonish nonsense and 30 % fighting. My favorite bit is a very quick battle where our vampire kicks his opponents head clean off and drinks right out of the blood-spurting neckhole. I also learned you can kill a vampire with the power of Buddha and a sharp spike through the top of the head. Not exactly a zombie classic or even much of a horror film at all but goofy enough for oddball kung-fu-loving weirdos. Now I just need to watch KUNG FU VAMPIRE and I feel my life will be complete.




Strange that this German video of a Hong Kong film was released by a company called American Video??:

Friday, December 1, 2017

THE MUMMY'S CURSE (1944)


 Rushed out the same year as the previous installment (THE MUMMY'S GHOST) in the Kharis The Mummy saga this one manages to wrap things up pretty well by giving us a reincarnated Mummy's bride as well. They throw in a pretty standard plot about the monster being reincarnated because some land developers are draining the swamp where he last met his demise except now it's in a Louisiana bayou instead of Massachusetts. Oh and also some stock footage from THE MUMMY'S HAND. They do leave it open for a sequel at the end but that didn't really happen although we did get ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE THE MUMMY 11 years later but that's a totally different Mummy-man named Klaris.