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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Sunday, May 21, 2017

THEY CALL ME TRINITY (1970)



 One of my all-time favorite spaghetti-westerns and, outside of the Leone ones, probably the one I've gone back and re-watched the most. It's got a great theme song, head-bonking action and some silly comedic elements but the main draw are the two main characters of Trinity and Bambino, two outlaw brothers portrayed so well by Terence Hill and Bud Spencer. These two had teamed up before but this is the movie that really brought them fame (in Italy anyway). The only thing missing is the sex and violence but this is a G-rated comedic western and as far as those go this one is most likely one of the best examples.
 There was one slightly less-great official sequel where we get to meet the brother's family and then a bunch of movies that were re-titled with "TRINITY something, something" that have nothing to do with this(and some of those don't even have Terence Hill in them which make them extra disappointing rip-offs!  AKA MY NAME IS TRINITY





Thursday, May 18, 2017

THE MUTHERS (1968)


  Not to be confused with the 1976 Filipino blaxploitation/action flick of the same name, this is a 60s sexploitation deal about bored suburbanites who become swingers.
 There's a song by the 60s freak-out hippie band The Fugs called 'Saran Wrap' which is about not having a condom and desperately choosing to use saran wrap instead. I'd always thought that they had invented this bizarre practice but it is on display here so maybe they saw this film also(or maybe wrapping your dick to avoid babies, and for added freshness, was just a groovy kind of thing to do in the 60s??). Besides this one odd moment the rest of this film is pretty standard sex stuff with lesbian humping, schoolgirl orgies and that sort of thing. There is a bar called The Pink Swan where all the housewives go to screw around and seems to be some sort of whorehouse but no one ever pays up so I'm not sure how they make any money. Besides this mystery it was all pretty uneventful, and very softcore, but still a pleasant enough, boob-filled spectacle to watch on Mother's Day and the ending, which even features some bloody violence!, really comes out of left-field.
 The very next year director Don Davis took scenes from this, and a few of his other sex-filled films, and made something called WILD OUTTAKES which is a compilation flick that I have yet to see.

THE MUTHERS The whole filthy film!





Tuesday, May 9, 2017

SISTERS OF DEATH (1976)


 There are a few things to like about this 70s exploitation flick, the main one being a whole gang of sexy ladies, including Claudia Jennings, who would go on to be in a few other drive-in films before dying young in a car crash getting into a scary sorta-proto-slasher situation with our gals being picked off one-by-one by an angry father after his daughter is murdered during an initiation rite gone wrong. There are also a bunch of clunky illogical things that happen, the main one being our ladies getting into a car with two complete strangers who drive them an hour into the country and drop them off at some weird abandoned house and they only mildly question all of this. Also, without spoiling anything, the ending doesn't seem to add up, unless I missed something. If you don't think about these things too hard though it's a decent 70s horror ride.


                             
                               Neat middle-eastern poster with some original artwork!:

Monday, May 8, 2017

WICKED SINS (2002)


 One of the most boring, badly-made things I've seen in awhile.  I mean sure it's an "erotic thriller" so you get some very attractive nekkid folks humping away in softcore porn fashion but everything else just seems like some terrible TV-movie of the week with a heaping helping of the worst acting you'll ever see. The fact that this was made in 2002 seems mind-boggling to me also. Wasn't hardcore porn pretty easily accessible by everyone at that point? I'm sure if I was 12 years old and it was still 1983 this would be wonderful but watching it in 2017 it's quite a sleep-inducing drag! You get straight and lesbo sex antics, a murder scene and a mystery that you couldn't care less about. Go watch some crappy porn instead.

This version isn't in English but the dialogue sucks anyway and you still get all the nudeness!:

Sunday, May 7, 2017

NIGHT CREATURES (1962)


 Working my way through The Hammer Horror DVD set this is one that I'de never heard of but it's pretty good. This mostly has to do with Peter Cushing and Oliver Reed who are always excellent and the fact that the film moves along pretty briskly unlike many other Hammer films from this era. If you're looking for an actual horror film though this one barely qualifies being more of a dramatic tale of booze smuggling villagers (and pirates) and the king's army who are out to stop them. The titular "Night Creatures"(who reminded me of those bullies in THE KARATE KID who wore the skeleton pajamas) are not really a main focal point and the original British title of CAPTAIN CLEGG is more fitting, if not as exploitative. To sum it all up a good film that's not exactly a good example of Hammer horror but worth a look for something slightly different from the famous studio.



Double Chill Show with Hammer's PHANTOM!:


Friday, May 5, 2017

NIGHTMARE (1964)


 Somewhat dull Hammer flick that deals with a young lady(Jennie Linden) who sees her mom go nutzoid and stab her dad to death. She then has recurring nightmares and sees things that may, or may not, actually be there and goes a bit wacky herself. There's a couple of twists and turns that really reminded me of an old EC comic story. You know those ones where evil is punished at the end and justice is served. As is always the case with Hammer everything looks great, even in black and white, and the acting is fine but it's probably not one I would go back to rewatch anytime soon. AKA HERE'S THE KNIFE DEAR: NOW USE IT




Shock show double-feature with this Hammer FRANKENSTEIN epic!:


Thursday, May 4, 2017

THE HEAD (1959)


 I've heard this described as a German rip-off of THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, except that movie didn't come out until 1962. So unless we're dealing with time-traveling filmmakers this is just a movie that shares the ol' living-head-in-a-pan gimmick from that film. While I prefer the American '62 head flick to this one, mainly because there's a lot of this that's tough to stay awake through, this one does at least offer us a sexy dancer lady who get her head swapped with a humpbacked crippled lass, so that's something. There's also all the standard mad doctor schtick and, of course, a talking head full of wires which make for some fairly typical b-movie scenes. Oh and as a little bonus you also get a living dog's head-in-a-pan! AKA THE SCREAMING HEAD and A HEAD FOR THE DEVIL



            Played in England on an X-rated double-bill with this Italian vampire flick!:

Known in Germany & France as THE NAKED AND THE SATAN!:



Wednesday, May 3, 2017

4D MAN (1959)



 This scientist fellow(James Congdon) is working on an experiment that makes solid objects pass through other solid objects on a molecular level which I guess is obtained bu entering into "the fourth dimension". Somehow this ends up screwing up his brother(Robert Lansing), who's also a scientist working on some super-metal, allowing him to pass through any object but also speeding up his aging process. While I'm not too sure about the scientific validity of anything that's presented in this 50s sci-fi flick I do know that it's another example of the science-gone-bad genre which was very popular at the time. A lot of the plot has to do with the drama of our main scientist involved in a love-triangle with his brother and his fiance(Lee Meriwether, who went on to be Catwoman on the BATMAN TV show). It's kinda hard to be very sympathetic to the hero since he's stolen one of his brothers girlfriends in the past and does the same thing for a second time here. Once our "evil" brother starts sapping various folks to gain his youth back things get very clear cut though. While not the most exciting movie of the era it's a tolerable time-waster for classic sci-fi appreciators. AKA MASTER OF TERROR








Saturday, April 29, 2017

THE MAGIC GARDEN OF STANLEY SWEETHEART (1970)

         "Are we hippies? You think we're hippies? I bet people think we're hippies, right?"

 Don Johnson's first movie is a total hippie-dippy, freakout story, based on a book, about a college student in New York looking to get laid and find some deep-philosophical truth about life in the process because this was made way back before deep-philosophical thoughts were banned from all forms of popular entertainment. You get lots of nudity including a quick full-frontal glimpse at Don's Johnson and plenty of nekkid hippie gals. While not a great film overall(and it does have that wacky kiddie "Sweet Gingerbread Man" song oddly pop up a couple of times!?) it is an interesting and surprisingly downbeat example of a flower-power flick complete with nihilistic 70s suicidal ending! I was glad to get to view a rare 35mm screening of this recently on the big screen hosted by film critic Joe Bob Briggs who is a big fan and if it's good enough for Joe Bob it's certainly good enough for me.

 


Thursday, April 20, 2017

JENNIE: WIFE/CHILD (1968)


 Set to the groovy tunes of Davie Allen and The Arrows(who I know from the awesome soundtrack to THE WILD ANGELS) this is the tale of a farmer(Jack Lester) who gets himself a young wife(Beverly Lunsford). He mostly treats her like crap so she gets the hots for the hunky, but also slightly retarded, farmhand(Jim Reader). So we get a love-triangle situation that leads to a weird ending with people chained in a basement and redemption through the act of screwing the local tramp(Virginia Wood). There's a skinny-dipping segment that uses the song "Birthday Suit"(which I recall from hearing when I was a little kid on the cartoon THE CATTANOOGA CATS which is a strange connection).
 A pretty good dramatic weird sexploitation flick from just before the XXX explosion came into being. AKA TENDER GRASS and WIFE/CHILD




At the drive-in with a Bert I. Gordon comedy!:

Drive-in triple feature with an early 60s crime thriller (which isn't a biker flick) and an old 50s horror flick!


Tuesday, April 18, 2017

COMMON LAW WIFE (1963)


 For what's mostly a silly sexploitation flick this one has a pretty bleak ending. Without giving too much of anything away I'll just say ii involves a couple of murders and a suicide. Not exactly the way you would think a film of this type would end up but that's cool. The plot concerns an older gentleman named Shug (whose name reminds of that rap guy Suge Knight) who wants to trade in his lady friend for his young niece, named "Baby Doll", because according to Shug(short for Shugfoot) incest is just a word. But surprisingly to the old fella, she's legally his, you guessed it, common law wife. There's lots of drama and love-triangles(rectangles?) to wade through but it does have a sweet climax. I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10 if I rated things like that.
 This was directed by cult fav Larry Buchanan who would go on to make a bunch of clunky sci-fi flicks throughout the 60s.






Sunday, April 16, 2017

UNKISSED BRIDE (1966)


 I guess technically this should be titled UNSCREWED BRIDE but that title might not have gone over well back in 1966. The story deals with a newlywed couple that can't consummate their marriage because every time the groom hears or sees something related to a Mother Goose story he passes out and apparently in the world of this film people are constantly referencing fairy-tales which makes things rough. For a film that seems to be marketed as sexploitation this is pretty tame with no nudity and fits more into the lame sex-comedy category. Comedian Henny Youngman shows up for a second to call someone at a drive-in(that's showing nursery rhyme cartoons, of course) stupid and old-timey shock-jock Joe Pyne has a couple of lines. This was directed by the producer of THE BLOB so The Blob gets name-checked. Overall this is a pretty dated and not very funny film that's only saving grace to me was some cool L.A. go-go dancing scenes which hardly made it worth the time. AKA MOTHER GOOSE A GO-GO

 


Sunday, April 9, 2017

THE RIDER OF THE SKULLS (1965)


 OK, so this was originally a Mexican serial featuring a masked(very Lone Ranger-like) hero battling various foes and they spliced 3 of these episodes together and released this. Because of this it does get a bit repetitive watching this as a feature-length film. On the plus side they do jam pack three ridiculous monsters into it including a ratty-ass Wolf man, or Lobo Humano in the native tongue, a vampire who has a hairy Wolfman-like face and frequently turns into a big rubber bat on a string and finally a Headless Horseman who manages to regain his big paper-mache head before battling our hero with the cool skull-covered shirt. There's tons of day-for-night shooting which leads to our vampire worrying about the sun coming up while clearly standing in bright daylight with shadows all around him. The werewolf has a unique way of transforming where he first completely turns into a skeleton before becoming a Wolf-Man. It's all very silly and watching this in a theater it was a bit difficult to stay awake during some of the drawn-out parts but worth checking out if you want to seem some obscure Mexican monster weirdness.
 The director here, Alfred Salazar, is the brother of bigtime cult Mexican actor Abel Salazar. He also made some Aztec Mummy movies and a few Santo flicks. He has been dubbed the Mexican Ed Wood and that's not too far off from the truth.


No matter who our hero is battling his solution is just to punch the hell out of his enemy!: