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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Thursday, August 22, 2019

DOLL FROM HELL (1996)



 Not to be confused with that classic BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL opus from the 80's, this is a 90's shot-on-video Japanese production. Before viewing this I feared it would be another crappy-looking Asian ghost movie and while, due to how it was shot, it doesn't look that great I was pleasantly surprised how entertaining this one turned out to be. The plot concerns a gang that consists of a punk(who's constantly toting a boombox around!), a pimp and his 2 ho's, a sullen introspective artsy type, a chubby businessman and a tiger-lady leader(So basically this is my favorite type of gang which consists of people that should never even be in the same room together but somehow form an alliance.) They end up dabbling in some murder that sets forth a chain of events that results in a human-sized doll being reanimated and seeking vengeance. While the plot is super simplistic and pretty dumb it managed to hold my interest. The wacky subtitles, rampant nudity and sex were definite helpers in this. Way better than I expected. AKA SACRIFICE (literal Japanese title)


                                                                  My kinda gang!:






  

Monday, August 19, 2019

DEAD AND BURIED (1981)


 Hailed as some kind of lost underappreciated horror classic by some horror fans I found this to be one of the dullest movies I've seen in quite a while. It starts out with a bang featuring a guy(Christopher Allport) who gets burned alive at the stake but then the story, which could have been an interesting twist on a zombie film, moves along at such a snail-like pace that I could barely prop my eyelids open enough to make it through what seemed like an overly long run time. There is one standout scene where a guy(actually the same guy from the opening! thank you sir for your service in not making this a total snoozefest) who's wrapped up like a mummy gets a needle jammed in his eyeball. Robert "Freddy Kreuger" Englund shows up in a few inconsequential scenes and Jack "Grandpa Joe from WILLY WONKA" Albertson is our main creepy bad guy. It all ends in complete nonsense and I guess forgiving horror fans are happy that they at least tried something different even if it sucks. AKA LOOK ALIVE





                                    Way to spoil the best scene in the movie alternate poster!:


Cool Japanese poster!:



Sunday, August 11, 2019

THE BIG FIGHT (1972)


 This kung fu flick, like so many others, deals with how terrible the Japanese are and how awful they treated the Chinese during World War II. Despite the fact that the Japanese occupiers all have guns they seem to be easily beaten and killed by superior martial-artists in some pretty absurd scenarios. Most of this film is kinda on the dull side up until we get to the titular big fight tournament (unfortunately this doesn't happen until almost an hour in) that pits Japan's top fighters (a judo guy, a karate man and a big fat sumo fellow (played by Fu Hung Cheng, the extra-large Chinese actor who you would be familiar with if you've seen more than a handful of these old fu films)  against China's pride. Then we finally get some wacky battles. As an added bonus they also kill a little kid to really show us how dastardly those Japs are! If they just focused on the last half of the movie, and maybe ditched the shitty mustaches on all the bad guys, it could have been significantly better. AKA BLOOD ON THE SUN






Saturday, August 10, 2019

HEADHUNTER (1988)

           

                                                       "Why isn't there more blood?"

 Crappy 80's horror about a magical Nigerian Voodoo monster on the loose in Miami(though the film was actually made in South Africa they do a decent job at disguising that). Obviously heads role but there's not really as much blood as you would expect thanks to our titular monster's magical flaming sword which cauterizes while decapitating his victims. I think most of the blood is due to various animal sacrifices which may offend any vegetarian-type viewers. I think the main thing that bogs this one down is the scenes of domestic drama with cops going through divorces and other mundane events.
 Director Francis Schaefer made four more films before giving up and then just appearing on a bunch of political and/or religious documentaries. Schaefer's dad was a bigshot in the moral-crusading religious right back in the 90's. I'm not sure he woulda approved of his son's oeuvre.






Wednesday, August 7, 2019

NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES II (1981)



 I guess this title is supposed to make people think this is a sequel to Bruno Mattei's NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES which came out a year earlier. In reality it has nothing to do with that film. This one is a weird sorta zombie flick by director Joel M. Reed who is known mainly for his sickie exploitation classic BLOODSUCKING FREAKS. I say sorta because for a long time it plays like a detective film starring porn legend Jamie Gillis looking for deserters from World War II. Finally some zombies do show up but it turns out they are just acting like zombies to scare people and they're really just old people that have been kept alive and fresh since the 40's by drinking some chemicals. At least I think that's what's going on because the plot is a pretty muddled confusing mess. Add to that a dreadfully plodding dull pace, no gore at all(and very little blood even) and you get what a lot of people call the worst zombie movie ever. I wouldn't go that far because I've unfortunately viewed some more modern-day worthless garbage that makes this one look like a masterpiece in comparison. On the one plus side you do get to see Mr. Alphonso(Alphonso De Noble), the insanely large gentleman from ALICE, SWEET ALICE, in one of his very few film roles. This time he sports a weird mustache and ends up getting stabbed in his bulbous belly for his troubles. Sadly his appearance is far too brief. AKA NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES and SISTER OF DEATH






Known on German DVD as ZOMBIE WAR GAMES!:



Tuesday, August 6, 2019

OPIUM STRIKE FORCE (1983)



 From the land of Thai food comes this warsploitation action flick. Unfortunately it's filled with lots of dull dialogue for a whole lot of the movie before finally(the last half hour!) getting to some explodey scenes. It also has a sorta men-in-prison thing going on for a lot of the run-time which I guess is cheaper to shoot. The wacky dubbing does result in some humorous bits but that's about all I can recommend from this one. AKA RAIDERS OF THE GOLDEN TEMPLE(I guess they were trying to capitalize on that LOST ARK fame at the time)
 The same director(Sumat Saichur) and star(Sorapong Chatree) would sorta remake this with the similarly titled RAIDERS OF THE DOOMED KINGDOM which is supposedly better but I'm not in too much of a rush to see it.





Not 1 black chick that I saw in this movie but that didn't stop the VHS release from going with this cover:

Monday, August 5, 2019

EQUALIZER 2000 (1987)



 Fairly unmemorable ROAD WARRIOR rip-off flick directed by Filipino hack-meister Cirio H. Santiago who made a whole slew of very similar films around this time and didn't seem to ever get much better. This one has the added impediment of having no nudity(despite top-heavy co-star Corinne Wahl playing what I'm guessing is one of the only women left alive after the apocalypse) to go along with the copious amounts of gun violence on display.
 I viewed the unrated version of this recently and it really just adds a bit of blood and some longer scenes adding up to about 10 minutes extra footage. This really didn't boost my feelings toward this one much either way. Good movie to goof on with some friends though if that's your bag.

 

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT (1975)



 Not to be confused with this SASQUATCH film or this one either,  this might be the worst of the Bigfoot movies from back in the golden age. It's mostly just nature footage of animals running around and then some reenactments of "spooky" Bigfoot encounters all done in that familiar fake documentary style that many of these films employed. The narration, by obsessed Sasquatch hunter, Ivan Marx, is equally absurd and sleep-inducing. Marx was in one other Bigfoot flick a couple of years later titled IN THE SHADOW OF BIGFOOT. If it's anything like this one, though, I think I can safely skip ever watching it.


Wednesday, July 24, 2019

SATAN'S PIT (1965)



 Originally titled THE GHOST OF THE HUNCHBACK, in Japan where it was made, the version I caught recently in a theater was an Italian-dubbed T.V. print called SATAN'S PIT. This version fits right in with the Mario Bava and Antonio Margheriti ghost flicks made around this same time. Not only the dubbing but the plot about an angry vengeance-seeking spirit seems fairly familiar. The only thing missing is Barbara Steele. Instead of Ms. Steele we get a creepy hunchback who works at a haunted house known as Satan's Pit that comes complete with a big statue of the devil right in the entrance hall. I was interested in this one mostly because it's so obscure. Sadly the pace with which it moves is quite sluggish and whoever subtitled this version didn't bother to actually subtitle everything so that was unfortunate. The deaths are also all pretty lackluster and the intended spooky bits are pretty goofy(there is the old bulging door bit that seems to have been borrowed from THE HAUNTING which came out a couple of years prior to this). A weird oddity though.
 Apparently this also got some kinda release in the U.S. as HOUSE OF TERRORS but an English version doesn't seem to exist anymore for some reason.

The subs on this Youtube version look way better than the ones I saw in the theater(which also unfortunately stretched out the image using the wrong aspect ratio setting):






Sunday, July 21, 2019

FURIOUS DRAGON (1973)



  So this little kid sees his dad killed right in front of him then he has his tongue(or maybe vocal chords? it's not really all that clear in this scene) injured by this same gang turning him into a mute(though luckily he can still manage to make all the expected kung-fu yells). From then on out, once he grows up of course 10 years later, it's revenge city!  Some dastardly Japanese soldiers show up for variety but never seem to figure out how to use their rifles to shoot anyone. Pretty lackluster star(Fei Yang Yeh, who was billed as either Lee Yuen Hing, Yip Fei-Yang or Yuan-Hsing Lee(no respect!) depending on which version you watch and as far as I know only starred in this one film before being regulated to supporting roles) in a pretty standard by-the-numbers-deal that does everything you would expect.
 One of those movies that got released as part of the Wu Tang Clan collection on DVD and gave that series a pretty crappy name among kung-fu fans.







Friday, July 19, 2019

SOMEONE BEHIND THE DOOR (1971)



 This is one of the weirder Charles Bronson films, yes possibly even stranger than that one where he marries a 16 year old in England, and also probably my least favorite. Bronson does get a chance to actually do some acting in this since it is quite the atypical role for him. The plot deals with Anthony "Norman Bates" Perkins as a doctor who wants to get revenge on his cheating wife so he convinces his patient(Bronson), who has amnesia, to do so for him. This might be better if the movie didn't drag so much and the ending wasn't a cop out.


                                                  Bronson gets quite rapey!:

 


He's not really the bad guy, he's more of a pawn, but he does do some bad things:


Monday, July 15, 2019

THE PEACE KILLERS (1971)



 Hippie cult with a Jesus-like leader vs. a nasty biker gang led by a rather violent Confederate flag toting fellow named Reb(Clint Richie, who besides this did a bunch of television stuff). Obviously my money was on the bikers up until the movie took an unexpected turn and veered off into blaxploitation movie territory by introducing another predominately black biker gang(named The Bastard Banshees!) to even things out. This gang is quite the anomaly since it's led by a tough black chick and features a rainbow of ethnicities including a couple of whities and what I think is either an Asian or Hispanic gal. Things get pretty nuts towards the end with a big brawl where peacenik hippies figure out maybe violence is sometimes the only way. A peace sign gets sharpened and used as a weapon, hippie-Jesus gets hung off a big peace symbol, people get shot right in the face and in one of the nastiest scenes a sharpened pencil gets shoved right into a guy's hand before he gets scorched with a road flare. One of the best biker flicks I've seen in a while. Highly recommended for grindhouse enthusiasts.


Weird homemade trailer:

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

GHOSTHOUSE 3: THE HOUSE OF LOST SOULS (1989)




          "It's okay, the Doctors gave you a rational explanation. You've got psychic powers"

 By the late 80s Italian horror director Umberto Lenzi ends up relegated to making T.V. movies in Italy. Unlike the U.S. though these movies don't shy away from the same graphic violence you would find in theatrical release from earlier in the decade. That might be because this was made as part of a series of films for cable t.v. but I'm no expert on Italian broadcasting standards. This spook show epic deals with a group of friends who end up in an abandoned hotel that turns out to be haunted by vindictive ghosts of people who were slaughtered there by a killer(I suppose that's a good enough reason to be a vindictive ghost as any other). The standout scene might be one of the most insane things I've ever seen where a little kid gets accosted and then decapitated by a laundry dryer! There's also a creepy Buddhist monk ghost, tarantula hijinks, some more decapitations to liven things up and none of it makes all that much sense in standard 80s Italian horror fashion. AKA HOUSE OF LOST SOULS
 The confusing GHOSTHOUSE series:
1. GHOSTHOUSE (1988) Dir.-Umberto Lenzi AKA LA CASA 3 which also makes this part of the EVIL DEAD series in Italy(EVIL DEAD is known as LA CASA in Italy)
2. GHOSTHOUSE 2 (1988) Dir.- Lamberto Bava AKA DEMONS 3:THE OGRE (which also makes this one part of the DEMONS series)
3. GHOSTHOUSE 3 (1989)
4. GHOSTHOUSE 4: HOUSE OF WITCHCRAFT (1989) another Umberto Lenzi T.V. movie
5, GHOSTHOUSE 5:WITCHCRAFT (1988) Dir.- Fabrizio Laurenti AKA WITCHERY and LA CASA 4(to make things even more confusing this one is also known as GHOSTHOUSE 2 in England)
6. GHOSTHOUSE 6: BEYOND DARKNESS (1990) Dir.- Claudio Fragasso AKA LA CASA 5