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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Sunday, July 12, 2020

LAURE (1976)

 Probably the most interesting thing about this EMMANUELLE-rip-off sexplotation flick is that it's the only EMMANULLE movie(it also goes by the name of FOREVER EMMANUELLE) that actually features the real life lady who the character is based on. Before seeing this I didn't even know there was a real Emmanuelle but apparently it's a lady named Marayat Bibidh a.k.a. Emmanuelle Arsan(who looks a lot more like the Black Emmanuelle, Laura Gemser, than the original version played by Sylvia Kristel). She was also allegedly the director of this film though she's not credited. That might be because it was actually her husband(the lengthy-named Louis-Jacques Rollet-Andrian) who did a bunch of the directing (before quitting when he didn't get to make the pro-swinging epic he envisioned) and also wrote the books in the first place and then credited them to his wife's alias. I guess it's for the best that no one is named as director because this isn't a very good movie. It's filled with artsy-fartsy sex scenes and inane dialogue about the nature of love and relationships. There's also a primitive island tribe that unfortunately doesn't turn out to be cannibals so this doesn't turn into one of those kind of movies. More of a curiosity really but it's a lot easier just to look up the real Emmanuelle if you want to see what she looks like.
 There is supposedly a lesbian scene featuring Miss Arlan that was disappointingly cut from the DVD that I watched.

Saturday, July 11, 2020


 Director Woo Sang Park, who previously made MIAMI CONNECTION which was an enjoyably clunky mess of a martial arts film, returns with this sorta similar kung fu epic(minus the rocking band from M.C.). Decidedly non-Asian actor Robert Z'Dar(of MANIAC COP fame) heads up a Korean gang who is constantly battling the Vietnamese and Chinese gangs in L.A.'s Chinatown. He's not the main character though, that would be Lee Tai Joon(billed here as Henry Lee), who falls in love with Z'Dar's vaguely Asian-looking sister. Then he gets stabbed in the stomach for this but somehow remains loyal to the gang. It's all really dumb, the action scenes are terribly choreographed and the acting is extremely cringe-inducing even by kung-fu movie standards. There are a couple of bloody bits and you might get a couple of chuckles but this is a tough one to recommend.
 Park did make a CHINATOWN 2 but IMDB lists it as coming out in 1993 so I'm not sure what that is all about.

Saturday, July 4, 2020


 This dude's family gets arrested and murdered for being traitors so naturally he goes to a Shaolin Buddhist temple and learns "monkey fist"-style kung fu in order to exact his revenge. A fairly pedestrian affair with not much that really stands out. You do get to watch a monkey and a bird fight each other during the opening credits which might be the only thing I remember from this one. AKA BLOODY MONKEY MASTER and SCHOOL OF SHAOLIN
 There was an IRON MONKEY II the next year also starring Chen Kwan Tai but I'm not sure how much of an actual sequel it is.

Friday, July 3, 2020


 Got a chance to catch this classic down at the drive in last weekend. It's hard to look at this one objectively since I've loved it ever since I was a wee teen. The fact that it was the final installment to director George Romero's dead trilogy(until he screwed around and made another inferior one) was enough reason to celebrate it's existence. Of course knowing the back story it's hard not to be disappointed that, due to budgetary reasons, his full vision for what was supposed to be the final chapter isn't quite materialized here. What you do get though is a bunch of amazing pre-CGI fx work, people get ripped apart before your very eyes, an over the top performance by the great Joe Pilato(who would go on to play that fake Dean Martin in PULP FICTION and unfortunately not much else of note) and the first zombie hero in the series, Bub(Sherman Howard, who I once saw at a convention asleep at his table). So if you overlook the pretty stagnant setting and not very subtle anti-military tone this one is a true gore-lovers trip.
 Romero would follow this with LAND OF THE DEAD in 2005 which I recall being entertained by at the time but never feel the need to re-watch it unlike the first 3 films. 
 There was a DAY OF THE DEAD 2: CONTAGIUM in 2005 which has nothing to do with this one except for stealing the title.  There's also a terrible-looking 2008 remake that I never bothered watching and from the trailer looks less like any kind of actual remake and just another stupid modern-day zombie flick. And finally there's DAY OF THE DEAD: BLOODLINE in 2018 which actually does look like a remake but I'm not sure why anyone would bother watching it.

Monday, June 29, 2020


                                             "I want you bare-assed on the leather!"

 Australian sexploitation that really doesn't have much of a plot outside of being the adventures of a young girl discovering her sexuality and ultimately discovering the power of love.  So basically it has the same plot as most romance novels. I'm just assuming this though since I haven't actually read any. It's kind of like the Aussie version of an Emanuelle film except this one didn't spawn a million Italian rip-offs. Many attractive people get nekkind and there's ample lesbianism so if that's your bag dig in.

Tuesday, June 23, 2020


 Well this wasn't very good. I would assume lesbianism was a tad more shocking 50 years ago but watching it these days there's really not much to recommend from  this  artsy-fartsy pretentious borefest. It's not particularly sexy unless a couple breaking up, then making up and then breaking up again and arguing about their crappy relationship are things that really turn you on.
 On the plus side there are a few cool tunes on the soundtrack so if you dig flute jams you're in luck.

There are also some cool thigh-high boots in this that apparently is a fetish for whatever weirdo made this video:

Friday, June 19, 2020


 A bunch of prostitutes are kidnapped and sent to an island prison. There's not much more of a plot than that but there is almost wall-to-wall nudity to look at so that's something. There's also a pretty lame gang-rape scene featuring a very young-looking girl which you'd think would be a difficult thing to make in a non-disturbing fashion. Besides being the most naked women-in-prison film that I think I've ever seen this one straddles that line between hardcore porn and softcore. There is not hardcore sex but there is a lot of full frontal vagina on show and fingers in said orifices.
 This seems like a less thought out version of a Jess Franco film(which is saying a lot!) and that's due to it featuring a few of his frequent stars Karine Gambier (from VOODOO PASSION and SEXY SISTERS etc.) and Erik Falk (from BLUE RITA and BARBED WIRE DOLLS etc.) among others. It was also directed by Franco's frequent producer Erwin C. Dietrich giving it that familiar Eurosleaze look. A good time for the very non-discerning perverts out there. AKA CAGED WOMEN, PRISONERS OF WAR, ISLAND WOMEN and WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY VII(making this part of a series of women-in-prison films that had nothing to do with each other but were just re-titled when released onto VHS. For what I think is a complete list of these click here.)

 Someone made a video featuring the rare non-nude scenes in the movie. Why, I'm not sure but the leather warden(Gambier) is nice!:

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

BLUE RITA (1977)

 Probably what stood out the most to me about this Jess Franco-directed sex flick is the amazing looking sets on view. In what is probably Uncle Jess' most attractive-looking film we are told a yarn about some spy shenanigans involving a strip-club run by our man-hating title character(whose hair seems to be more purple than blue but whatever). There's also an absurd fight scene involving Eric Falk (who all good exploitation film fans should recognize as one of the main baddies in the great MAD FOXES), tons of full nudity, sex with gas-masks, magical green slime that turns men into nymphomaniacs and a fairly absurd plot to hold it all together.

Friday, June 12, 2020


 You would think a movie named FOG ISLAND might have some fog in it. Well think again because there's none of that here. Undoubtedly it is cheaper to just reference there being fog and this is clearly one of those poverty row PRC studios low-budget affairs.  It's also more of a murder mystery deal than a horror flick. It all takes place in an old spooky mansion, which was a pretty common setting back in the these days. There's a bunch of skulls around and George Zucco plays the main weirdo that invites a bunch of murder suspects to come hang out with him in hopes of getting rich or something. Lionel Atwill is one of his guests. The plot gets a bit convoluted and the crappy choppy print of this doesn't help clear things up. One of those old-timey classics that isn't really very classic.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020


 Director Don Dohler is somewhere down around the Ed Wood-level of film-making and like Mr. Ed I find his films just as charmingly watchable in all their ineptness. This is his very first film and it's pretty ambitious because instead of just one monster on the loose we get 3! You see there's this alien who's transporting his collection of intergalactic zoo animals across the universe and then just happens to crash in the suburbs of Baltimore letting them all loose to roam the countryside and murder civilians. I know it's Baltimore just by all the delightful accents on display. The mayor of the town is played by Rich Dyszel, whose work I've enjoyed over the years in his Count Gor De Vol horror-movie host guise, and he just wants to make sure everything is safe for the new amusement park opening in town. So there's some obvious JAWS influence for ya.
 Now the 3 monsters we get are 2 guys in rubber suits(one slimy and one hairy) and a stop-motion dinosaur-type creature, oh and there's also the alien fellow who's the main beady-eyed creep in the poster. This all shows me these guys weren't screwing around when it came to FX-work even if the acting is not exactly stellar. You can tell Dohler was a true monster kid and if you were ever one you'll probably get some kicks from this one.
 Dohler did make a sequel, ALIEN FACTOR 2: THE ALIEN RAMPAGE, in 2002 which might be amusing if they didn't go overboard with the c.g.i. nonsense.


 I'm not exactly sure why this one gets so much love from every horror fan out there or how in the hell it got 2 sequels. It does have a really good cast including Bruce Campbell, Tom Atkins, William Smith, Richard 'SHAFT' Roundtree and of course big-chinned Robert Z'Dar in the title role. Everyone of these actors has been in way better movies than this though. I guess on the positive side it's a horror movie from the late 80s that isn't full of jokes but that's about it.
 You basically get a slasher movie where the twist is it's guy in a cop uniform doing all the killing. Is he a zombie? How does he have super-powers? Why is he killing innocent people? How did director William Lustig go from making something as amazing as MANIAC to this predictable crap? Well if you watch the movie none of these questions are really answered very well. Maybe one of the sequels clears things up. I'm not really curious enough to find out.
 There was supposed to be an HBO series that's a "re-imagining" of this film series directed by Nicholas Winding Refn but apparently that hasn't materialized yet. I would imagine with all the cop-hating going on currently it would quite the eye-candy for all you trendy political types.

Monday, June 8, 2020


 Not being a super big fan of any of the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde films I've seen(though DR. BLACK & MR. HYDE is pretty groovy!) I wasn't expecting too much from this one and I wasn't disappointed. It's a Hammer Studios version of the familiar tale so the sets are amazing, you get to see dancing girls underwear and a snake-dancer lady but it's generally all pretty pedestrian stuff.
 The Mr. Hyde here is actually a handsomer and less hairy version of Dr. Jekyll he just doesn't have any conscience to speak of which makes him the de facto "monster". Of course the people in Jekyll's life, including his friend Paul(Christopher Lee) who's sleeping with Jekyll's wife, are no great shakes either.
 The original U.S. release of this edited some of the harsher language out because I guess Americans in 1960 couldn't handle hearing "trollop" in a theater. AKA JEKYLL'S INFERNO and HOUSE OF FRIGHT

Saturday, June 6, 2020


You would think a movie about a heroic figure standing up to an evil gang of no-goodniks would be an uplifting tale that would make people feel proud of themselves or at least offer a little escapism. I guess neither of these ideas were good enough arguments though since this film was banned in Singapore all the way up until this year when the sole surviving print(kept in a fridge by star Peter Chong) was cleaned up and released. Apparently they didn't want anyone to think gangsters existed in their beautiful land.
 It's a pretty standard story, obviously inspired by Bruce Lee's popularity at the time, of a noodle-shop proprietor hassled by gangsters until he can't take it anymore and it's revenge city(or I guess revenge country in this case since everything takes place in a  very scenic countryside. You get our star taking on a bunch of gangsters, a bulldozer, a guy with a big iron mask and even scalping a guy with his bare hands. Nothing all that spectacular without the backstory but still decent stuff for martial-arts marks and probably the only movie I've ever seen from Singapore.