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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Thursday, January 18, 2018

THE BEGUILED (1971)



 In my seemingly never ending quest to watch everything that Clint Eastwood was in during the 60s and 70s I came across this. It's not something I would typically be into from ol' Clint since it's not a western or action flick in any sense. What you get is basically a drama about a Northern Civil War soldier who gets injured and winds up in a Southern all-gals school. While this seems like it might be the perfect set-up for an 80s sex-comedy that's exactly the opposite route this film takes. It's all really  heavy and  also quite pervy as Eastwood either hits on or is hit upon by pretty much everyone regardless of their age and that goes down to a 12-year-old. There's also one slightly jarring dismemberment scene which I was not expecting. All in all a really well done film for what it is which is not surprising since the director is Don Siegel who, of course, is know for the original INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS and working a bunch with Eastwood including the great DIRTY HARRY which came out right after this and made everyone forget it existed.
 At the time this was released it flopped since people wanted tough-guy action star Clint and not creepy kid-kissing, romantic guy but for something different it's worth a look.
 There was a 2017 remake of this with Nicole Kidman that looks way too glitzy and polished and I never want to be subjected to it.

This trailer makes it seem like we're getting a way more exploitative experience than you actually get!:


Tuesday, January 16, 2018

THAT GANG OF MINE (1940)


 The 3rd movie in the East Side Kids series.This one is before they got Huntz Hall so the comedy is not as over-the-top yet and it goes a little heavy on the melodrama at points. The story deals with Muggs(Leo Gorcey) attempting to become a horse-racing jockey and then being a big scaredy cat. It sets up the next movie PRIDE OF THE BOWERY where Muggs decides to be a champion prize-fighter. It's only about an hour long so if you want to see what's basically a more grown-up and slightly more serious version of The Little Rascals on horseback here ya go. I'm more of a fan of the later Hall stuff myself.

Friday, January 12, 2018

POSSESSED (1974)


 Not to be confused with Amando De Ossorio's Spanish EXORCIST-rip-off, or any of the other similarly/generically titled horror flicks, this one is a horror/porn mix. Decidedly heavy on the porn and also surprisingly on the racial-insensitivity(or is it a tale of bringing the races together?). The story, as slight as it is, deals with a couple that move into new house that is haunted by the spirit of a rapey black ghost. If you've ever heard the term 'spook' used to describe black folks this film takes that term quite literally and makes our naughty African-American culprit an actual spiritually malevolent entity. Later on his mate?, a rather large black woman, also shows up to join in the screwing fun while some spooky music plays over the dubbed-in moaning. So basically it's a really shitty porn version of that movie THE ENTITY where Barbara Hershey gets raped by a ghost except that movie didn't come along until the 80s so maybe it's the other way around. Either way it's pretty dull and repetitive and even though the version I viewed was only about an hour long I found myself fast-forwarding to stay awake. AKA THE POSSESSION

The whole filthy mess of a film!

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

STRAY CAT ROCK: BEAT '71 (1971)


 The fifth and very last of the 'Stray Cats' films. This one is a bit different because instead of a bad-ass female biker gang our heroes now are a bunch of hippies. One of them does carry a gun though and they're not above resorting to violence, or crazy-gluing a guy's ass to a chair, when necessary. I was gonna rank this one as my least favorite for this and also that they introduce a kid that they travel around with but then right in the middle of the film my favorite Japanese garage-rock band The Mops show up and perform a song on the back of a truck in a completely random scene that made me reevaluate the whole movie. Also there's a pretty explosive finale with a cool shootout in an old-western town. AKA STRAY CAT ROCK: CRAZY RIDER '71


 These films are really hard to rank since they are all almost equally entertaining but here is my list at the moment from best to worst:
 1. STRAY CAT ROCK: SEX HUNTER - This is the first and only one of the films that I've re-watched multiple times now. I think it gets the combination of snazzy music and groovy visuals down the best out of them all and is probably the one newbies should start with.
2. STRAY CAT ROCK: WILD JUMBO - I think when I first watched this one I wasn't sure how I felt about it but after thinking about it more I give it extra points for melding in a heist plot to end things up in a, standard for this series, downbeat fashion.
3. STRAY CAT ROCK: BEAT '71 - Even with all the hippies and a kid we still get a bad-guy biker gang and some of the best garage rock from Japan!
4. STRAY CAT ROCK: MACHINE ANIMAL - Making me hate the girls right from the start was a bit of a downer for me with this one and also the ending seems a bit abrupt.
5. STRAY CAT ROCK: DELINQUENT GIRL BOSS - Strangely enough the very first film in the series is probably the one I found the least exciting. Glad they kept going though.



Saturday, January 6, 2018

STRAY CAT ROCK: MACHINE ANIMAL (1970)


 The 4th film in the Japanese STRAY CAT ROCK series of girl gang flicks. This one starts out by throwing me a curveball and making me hate the girls after they rob some poor LSD-peddlers of their stash and, to add insult to injury, steal their car and slash up the seats. Things do settle down in a more predictable way and you do get back on their side before the plot is really set into motion. Having been filmed all in the same year this does have a lot of similarities to the earlier 3 films with the male gang, The Dragons, being the main villains. There are also some differences with the leader of The Dragons being a handicapped lady(Bunjaku Han) and some political ideas thrown in as one of our "heroes" is a military deserter who wants to escape Japan and The Vietnam War. Things do end pretty nihilistically which I'm usually a fan of but it did seem a bit disjointed here with the tone of the rest of the movie. I'm not exactly sure where I would rank this one but it was interesting and artfully shot. I still have one more film in this series to catch and then maybe I can make some kinda list.

                                                     LONG LIVE LSD!

 



Friday, January 5, 2018

CRIMINAL AFFAIR (1968)


 I originally bought this DVD for 50 cents about 15 years ago so I figured it was about time I gave it a spin. What you get is an Italian crime-caper/comedic drama that starts out with this criminal fellow(writer/director/star Rossano Brazzi) getting berated by his mom because he has no money even though he is a master thief. Then later-on Ann Margret shows up and things get a bit sexier. Ann goes skinny-dipping at one point but I'm guessing they probably used a body-double for those scenes since we never see her face and bare-ass in the same shot. Then finally there's this big robbery at an opera which involves using electricity to put people to sleep somehow. Not much of this made a whole lotta sense and it's all pretty dumb. There's some stupid THREE STOOGES-esque fight scenes and that along with some scantily-clad 60s ladies were the only things that made this even slightly interesting. Give it as look only if you really like nonsensical Eurocheese.
 The Italian title translates to 7 MEN AND ONE BRAIN.

Monday, January 1, 2018

THE SENTINEL (1977)



 There's some very disturbing imagery that pops up in this decidedly strange Hollywood horror flick of the 70s including most notably an old man getting an UN CHIEN ANDALOU-esque eyeball slicing and then having his nose hacked off for good measure. It also has a really heavyweight cast that you wouldn't think would show up in something like this including Martin Balsam, Burgess Meredith, Eli Wallach, Christopher Walken, Ava Gardner etc. I guess only in the 70s would you get talent like that in a movie that also features a bunch of real-life sideshow freaks and a freakily made-up John Carradine. The plot itself, dealing with demons and guardians of hell, seems like something you might appreciate more, and find more scary, if you were more of the religious-type but the weirdness factor makes this one an interesting oddity to check out.
 Director Michael Winner, who previously made the original DEATH WISH, would go on to make a couple more DEATH WISH flicks with the great Bronson so he's top-notch in my book.


Monday, December 25, 2017

ANOTHER PIECE OF ROMANCE (1994)


 This might be the most castration-filled movie I've ever witnessed. The weird thing about that is that it's not really a horror movie of any sort or even a rape-revenge flick. What you get is the tale of a businessman trying to get some priceless magical vase from his competitor so he hires a wizard fellow who uses our ruthless businessman's virgin daughter to cast spells that end up with a bunch of guys getting their cocks cut off by angry scissor-wielding women. There's so much castrating going on that at one point even a little dog ends up the victim of this penis-snipping spree. While you might think this all sounds pretty horrific, in common category III-style of the time. a lot of it is just played for laughs, in particular one unlucky fellow who winds up the recipient of the aforementioned little dogdick to replace his formerly large appendage. A very strange Asian movie that I would only recommend to someone who can deal with a yuck-filled dick-chopping drama that is decidedly not very romantic despite it's title

The exciting chase scene!:


 Full movie is available HERE!!

Saturday, December 23, 2017

FEAST OF FLESH (1967)


 This Argentinian horror flick, actually made in 1965, about a creepy masked fellow who stalks gals so he can inject them with heroin and keep them around as slaves is a bit too leisurely-paced to stay awake through. After many attempts I did manage to make it to the ending but outside of a very disturbing villainous creep and some effective atmosphere there's not much else to recommend unless you just like watching long scenes with eerie music. There is a bit of nudity flashed here and there but overall this is a dull one. AKA THE DEADLY ORGAN
 Director  Emilio Vieyra went on to make THE CURIOUS DR. HUMPP and that one is a way better(and stranger) choice. 

                                                     Naptime cinema!!:




                                  Double-billed with this way more exciting headliner!:

WOMEN IN CAGES (1971)


 Somehow I never saw this Pam Grier-starring women-in-prison flick until now. It's part of the Roger Corman-produced, Filipino-made prison epics series which follows THE BIG DOLL HOUSE and was then followed by THE BIG BIRD CAGE. In comparison to those two it's definitely of lesser quality but still sordid and sleazy enough to entertain fans of these lowbrow efforts. You get multiple shower scenes, Miss Grier exposes her lovely assets, wanton lesbianism, bumbling attempted murder hijinks and there's a sorta gang-rape ending. It's also interesting in that you get Grier in a villainous role instead of her usual spot as the tough prisoner. While the direction, under Gerardo de Leon, is a bit lacking and he's no Jack Hill  you could do worse in the sleazy thrills category so give it a pervy look. AKA BAMBOO DOLL HOUSE and WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY III
 Apparently Quentin Tarantino took Pam Grier's character's name, Alabama, for his main female character in TRUE ROMANCE.



A recycled poster design from THE BIG DOLL HOUSE:


Monday, December 18, 2017

SOMETHING WEIRD (1967)


 This dude(Tony McCabe) gets his face half-melted by an electrical wire and then gains the power of extra sensory perception. Oh and then he meets an ugly witch(Mudite Arums) who sometimes appears as a sexy lady(Elizabeth Lee) who heals him up if he becomes her boytoy. Then some government agent gives him LSD for some reason and he trips out and fights a blanket. This is obviously not a movie that makes a whole lotta sense and every time the witchy lady shows up I think it's going to turn into a kiddie movie. While not the best movie in director HG Lewis' oeuvre it's a passable time waster just for living up to its title.
 More importantly this film's title spawned the greatest video-releasing company of the 80s and they are still around today so give them a look for all your weirdest movie needs: https://www.somethingweird.com/

                                                                                                                                                                       
                                                                   HG Lewis 2-fer!:




Sunday, December 17, 2017

FEELS LIKE SILK (1983)


 Sharon Mitchell and her blonde friend who looks slightly retarded(Dana Dennis credited as Diana Rogers) open up a whorehouse, except that it's a whorehouse where you bring your own whores. So basically they just open up a fancy hotel where they hook up monitors to watch all the sex-activities. Jamie Gillis shows up with Shauna Grant(credited as Callie Aims for some reason) unless you watch the DVD-version of this where his scenes are cut out. Bill Margold plays a Nazi into disciplining his hooker and Jessie St. James and Billy Dee also appear along with a bunch of people that I've never heard of. It's all pretty dull typical porn stuff that was directed by Alan Vydra(credited as Alan Everett) who is a European fellow who had mostly done Euro-porn before this so maybe that's why it's a bit lacking as it seems to be trying for a more artsy feeling and just ends up being extra-tedious. aka DIANA, LOVE AND ECSTASY

 

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

ESCAPE 2000 (1982)


 Director Brian Trenchard-Smith, who is clearly the greatest Australian exploitation movie director, gives us a futuristic fascist government that throws people into re-education camps for the slightest of infractions and then murders them if they do not get with the program to become model citizens. Things start off with a very women-in-prison-feel(even though there are men prisoners also including Steve Railsback who will forever remind me of Charles Manson, whenever I hear his voice, giving me flashbacks to the classic TV-movie HELTER SKELTER, where he so expertly portrayed the world's most famous crazy person) before going into THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME-territory when a handful of prisoners are released only to be hunted down by our Nazi-like guards and warden named Thatcher(very subtle social commentary there!). If all this isn't exciting enough Mr. Trenchard-Smith also throws a naughty werewolf into the mix(I guess technically he's supposed to be some kinda mutant but he sure looks like a werewolf to me) who likes to rip off people's toes and chomp on them like wolf-people do. It's a great mix of action, there's some blood despite cutting away from a few graphic scenes(there is an uncut 90 minute version that is supposed to be quite a bit more graphic in this department), mandatory naked shower scene and heads get blown apart! AKA TURKEY SHOOT and BLOOD CAMP THATCHER(this was obviously the popular British title)

  The title should technically be ESCAPE 1995:
                                           "The blood and thunder shocker" of 1982!!:

Known in Germany as ISLAND OF THE DAMNED: