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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Thursday, November 26, 2015


 I know there's some stupid new movie about a talking turkey killing people, called THANKSKILLING PART 3 or something like that, but if we ignore that crap this is the world's only Thanksgiving slasher movie. Also it was made in the 80's when real slasher movies were produced. It's pretty standard and not at all exceptional except for a couple of things. Our killer here is BODY BY JAKE fitness guru Jake Steinfeld who plays a muscley nutso creep with a mullety afro who shoots PCP into his tongue and then goes on a slashing spree. He's all around pretty absurd especially the part where he dives on a car hood crushing a guy to death. The second and even more ridiculous thing is a character named 'Mistake' who goes around in white-face looking like the singer from The Addicts playing his electric guitar with an amp strapped to his back. He's supposed to be really annoying to everyone else in the film but since everyone else is so dull I found him to be a real highlight and really one of the few things that sets this movie apart from the billions of other slashers from this decade. So make this part of your Thanksgiving tradition if you're a slasher flick fan. AKA SLASHER IN THE HOUSE

Rock n Roll!:

Tuesday, November 24, 2015


 Bela Lugosi plays a very Dracula-ish vampire fellow named Tesla who manages to keep coming back throughout the decades even after getting a stake through the heart. The coolest part to me is that he has a werewolf servant! Unlike most wolfmen though this one chats up a storm and stays in his wolf-form even during the day with no full-moon in sight! Also he doesn't seem all that tough or scary, almost getting his ass kicked by a couple of regular humans at one point, which is unfortunate. I think I just like the idea that he's such a helpful ghoul. Eventually Bela/Tesla has no more use for or silly hairy friend and he gets to play the redeemed hero bit. There's also a bunch of boring parts with regular boring people that wasn't all that interesting. Basically this is a weird Columbia Pictures version of a Universal monster movie which if they made it woulda most likely been called DRACULA MEETS THE WOLFMAN. I can't help but think they would have probably done a better job and for sure the Wolfman would have had some better makeup but this is still an interesting old B-movie monster mash-up.

Sunday, November 22, 2015


 So this was a pretty cool fake trailer for a fake movie that was created for that fake Hollywood exploitation movie GRINDHOUSE that Tarantino and Rodriguez spewed out a few years ago. That's quite a bit of fakeness going on! The idea to make it into an actual feature seems kinda silly to me so I've put off actually watching it up until now. The movie itself just plays more like a newer Troma film than anything from the 70's or 80's which I assume was the original idea. There is plenty of blood and gore with heads being ripped off and people being ridiculously smashed to bloody pulps over and over which I'm sure will make the little children smile. At a certain point in the film everything starts to feel like some kinda weird fantasy film and then finally these two medieval MONTY PYTHON-esque armored villains show up and the total cartoonisation is complete. Watching Rutger Hauer star in this is also a bit sad considering that he's so above this kinda thing but I guess good for him getting a paycheck to not really act all that much and just be covered in fake blood and gore for a while. While it's OK for one viewing I doubt I'll ever need to re-watch this and like most newer films trying to look like older better cinematic experiences it's fairly forgettable and doesn't come close to reaching that goal.

The best part of this movie is the opening credit sequence because it's the theme from MARK OF THE DEVIL which is a classic!:

This works way better in it's original 2 minute version!:

Thursday, November 19, 2015


 Tomisaburo Wakayama would go on to play the main character in the LONE WOLF AND CUB movies. But before that he portrays this naughty monk here who likes to gamble, bang prostitutes and not take any crap from anyone. This movie is clearly inspired by the ZATOICHI films in the way they play and since Wakayama's brother, Shintaro Katsu, plays Zatoichi in almost everyone of those films he even resembles him quite a bit. Of course the difference is that our wicked priest here isn't blind and instead of a samurai sword he mainly just uses jujitsu to fling his opponents around. There's even one scene where our hero pretends to be a blind masseuse in case anyone missed all the other less obvious references.  Just like Zatoichi this gets pretty heavy with the melodrama but it all ends with heads being smashed like ripe melons at the hands of Mr. Wakayama so that's a pretty good payoff. Worth a look for Zatoichi fans. AKA PRIEST KILLER and THE EVIL PRIEST.
 There are a few other movies starring this wicked priest character but how many in the series seems to be a little unclear. From what I've seen it looks like there were 5 official films.


 Rudy Ray Moore's movies are all pretty amazing but by the time he got to the end of the 70's and made his 5th and final feature film he decided to change things slightly by throwing in a strong anti-drug  message into the mix of silly kung fu revenge and proto-rapping. Rudy plays the title character whose nephew Bucky freaks out on some angel dust. This part is obviously the basis for the set-up in the 2009 BLACK DYNAMITE film. Carol Speed also shows up to play his sometimes girlfriend? Rudy also seems to be trying really hard with the dramatic acting this time out with varying degrees of success. You have to love him for being so dedicated to a role while wearing silver high-heeled shoes and some outfits that could possibly make Freddie Mercury blush. The fashions are one of the big highlights. The disco music is ok but the main tune played gets a little repetitive after a while. It's a shame Mr. Moore didn't really get to star in any more similar films after this one but I guess the 70's were his decade to shine. AKA THE AVENGING GODFATHER

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

BLACK MAGIC 2 (1976)

 Not as good as the first BLACK MAGIC film, or even the 5th one, this one, re-titled as REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES when it originally played in the U.S., still has some crazy elements that make it a good watch for lovers of the bizarre off-kilter world of Asian strangeness. It starts off with a fake rubbery crocodile eating a lady and from there goes on to get all magical with an evil wizard fella who has a whole room full of slaves that he's cast some nasty spells on. There's zombie-like ladies with huge nails in their heads, a good wizard who rips his own eyeballs out, gaping wounds that spit out loads of worms and other disgustingness(oh and of course nutty kung fu fighting!). It would probably be a better watch if any of this stuff made any kind of sense but I guess you can't always get that from these more insane Shaw Brothers movies. One strange element of this is a very 80's hip-hop sounding tune played in a nightclub that the Beastie Boys would "borrow" for one of their songs.

Beastie Boys getting a little Black Magicy!:


 I think I'd first seen the trailer for this on the old BEST OF SEX & VIOLENCE VHS tape way before seeing the whole movie but I knew I had to search it out from that. Rudy Ray Moore returns to do some early example of rapping, do stand-up and kick lots of ass in this sequel to DOLEMITE. It's the rare example of a sequel being technically better than the original with everything from the wonky kung-fu(Rudy even flies a bit) to the ridiculous rhyming turned up just a little bit more. Evil white people get massacred in sped-up fight sequences, thunder and earthquakes happen when Rudy gets busy with the ladies, there's gun-fu and lots of time is taken up with nightclub routines. Ernie Hudson(the black Ghost-Buster) shows up in an early role and we get to see a totally bare-assed Moore on display. Good times unless you're not a Rudy Ray Moore fan in which case you stink and you will hate this!

One of the greatest blaxploitation flicks and one of the greatest blaxploitation trailers!:

Rudy Ray wants you!:

Sunday, November 15, 2015


 If you have an aversion to seeing people shove needles in their arms this might not be the film for you. If, however, you can appreciate a dark look at 1980's New York City junkie subculture then give this one a look. It's mostly a documentary about John Spacely, who was a heroin-addicted punk who lived on the lower east side way before it became a big shopping mall for rich snobs like it is today. He eventually ended up dying of the AIDS in the 1992. There's also some reenactments of criminal activities here and there to liven things up. It's a pretty cool/gritty look at drug abuse and people generally making bad life choices. It does get a little slow in parts but I think this just adds to the artsy quality of the whole thing. This has got to be the most artsy-fartsy thing Troma ever released. AKA GRINGO


                                    "I've got myself a six thousand dollar nigger!!"

 'Wildman' Steve was a 70's stand-up comedian in the mold of a Redd Foxx or Rudy Ray Moore. He showed up in Moore's film PETEY WHEATSTRAW, THE DEVIL'S SON IN LAW a year before this and I guess that gave him the idea to try and make his own version of that movie. While Steve is not quite on the level of Moore, and this movie is basically an even lower budgeted version of his films, there's still a few laughs to be had here and this is a pretty damn entertaining watch if you dig the blaxploitation genre. The story is obviously sorta based on the SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN TV-show except instead of a pilot the Steve here is a wino who is given "bionic" powers by an unscrupulous midget mad scientist along with his flashy pimp sidekick and cohorts. There's a few super silly sex scenes complete with naked black boobs and ass, jokes right out of a DOLEMITE movie and an ending that doesn't really make much sense but OK. The only negative thing I will bring up is the soundtrack is super-generic and coulda used a shot of some funk. But besides this it's just always great to find a 70's blaxploitation flick that seems to have been lost for a long time and isn't crap. Thanks to Vinegar Syndrome for doing god's work and releasing this! Check it out! AKA SUPERSOUL BROTHER.

The comedy stylings of Wildman Steve!:

Sunday, November 8, 2015


 This movie comes pretty close to being totally amazing. It's got so many cool trashy elements thrown together. There's a monster on the loose, a mad scientist(though I guess maybe he's actually a mad psychiatrist since he never really seems all that scientific), a pervy hunchbacked assistant and women(and one guy) kept in cages in a makeshift dungeon.  There's decapitation, axe murder, bloody whippings, snake hi-jinks and a lady's legs chopped off so her body can fit in a trunk. The one big problem though is the pacing of this thing is super slow. The other thing is they never show the monster running amuck. They just flash some wiggly worms on the screen. Which, unless the monster, who sounds like some kinda bobcat/jaguar creature, is actually just a bunch of stupid worms, is pretty lame. There is a sorta BLOODSUCKING FREAKS-vibe that runs through the film with all the torture and whatnot so if you're a 70's trash-fiend give this one a look. AKA HELP ME...I"M POSSESSED! and NIGHTMARE AT BLOOD CASTLE

Big box VHS!!:

Friday, November 6, 2015


 When I picked up the VHS of this I looked at it quickly and assumed it was some weird re-titled version of SHOGUN ASSASSIN. If I looked closer though I woulda realized that the actor(or actors since I think there's more than one guy) playing the main character, Itto Ogami,  isn't the same as in that film. The reason for this is that this is actually an edited-together version of a few episodes of the 70's TV-series LONE WOLF AND CUB. Of course it woulda also helped if I knew that there even was a TV-series. Having never seen the show I can't comment on how good or bad it is but watching it here it doesn't look all that great. This version anyway is like watching a crappier remake with no blood and that was one of the great highlights of the original! The movie also seems to go on forever with lots of talking and familiar scenes. If you've seen SHOGUN ASSASSIN before there really is no reason to sit through this one.

VIXEN! (1968)

 This is a pretty entertaining Russ Meyer flick. It also helps that the movie is only about 70 minutes long which keep things moving along rapidly without much lag. Meyer has a distinctive style of sexploitation movie which you can tell by the super-stylized acting and ultra-wacky pretty cartoonish scenarios. This one deals with a nympho lady called Vixen. There's quite a bit of racism concerning the one black biker character, stupid politics with an Irish commie weirdo plane hijacker and lots of nudity and extra-large boobs supplied by our main character(Erica Gavin). One lesbian scene seems to have been made to shock people and I imagine that woulda worked way better back in 1968. This scene is followed closely by a steamy incest scene which I don't think will ever not be at least a little shocking. Also the use of words like sambo or  nigger will certainly shock all the pearl-clutching p.c.-zombies of today way more than your average citizen in the insane 60's. So thank you for Mr. Meyer for bringing the sleazy goodness!

In the U.K. this played on a double-bill with another of Meyer's big boob films:

Thursday, November 5, 2015


 I was raised up, as a young man, on a steady diet of Pro Wrestling and monster movies. So when I picked up an issue of Fangoria magazine back in the early 80's and first read about these Mexican lucha libre monster movies it blew my fragile eggshell mind. This one here specifically seemed like one of the wackiest things ever put on film and is clearly the highlight of this weird genre for me just for it's sizable monsterrific value. You get a mad scientist, his evil hunchbacked dwarf assistant and a whole gang of unruly monsters including a mummy(La Momia!), a wolf man(El Hombre Lobo!), a Frankenstein monster(or Franquestain!), a vampire(El Vampiro!) and a couple of his ladies. There's also a weird-ass cyclops thing who's basically a stand in for The Creature From The Black Lagoon. He even gets a scene where he hangs out at the bottom of a lagoon even though he doesn't appear to have much of a swimmer's body or do much there besides leer on with his goofy flashlight eyeball. The weirdest monster though is this big-brained fellow who also appeared in the earlier Mexi-horror flick SHIP OF MONSTERS(which also had a very similar Cyclops monster now that I think about it). In this movie he just stands around, does nothing and is never even referred to! It seems very odd to me that a giant-brained Martian could just carouse about in the background going unnoticed but that's just what happens! Another awesome thing is that even though this film seems to have been made for kids there's a few moments of bright red blood being spewed and also a scene of a little boy whose parents are murdered by The Wolf Man right in front of his eyes! The soundtrack is pretty sweet and the wrestling scenes never drag as they sometimes do in these Santo flicks. In fact one of the wrasslin' bouts turns into a pretty sweet monsters vs. wrasslers battle royal! The only two bad points I will mention are the horrible confusingly shot day-for-night scenes and the old-timey musical numbers that look like they were pulled out of an older movie when Santo hangs out at a nightclub. Besides this though this one is a great kitschy ride!

Weird-ass speeded up Benny Hill-esque intro!:

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

DRACULA (1931)

 I've heard a few people claim that this Spanish version of DRACULA, shot at the same time and on the same sets as the original, is the superior version and I can kinda see why they would say that. Right off the bat though Bela Lugosi is way better as the title monster than our Spanish fellow here, whose strange facial features kind of remind me of Andy Kaufman from time to time. The rest of the movie does seem to play a bit better, the ladies all dress a bit skimpier and even though it's about a half hour longer it seems to move more quickly than the original. Of course having seen the other DRACULA so many times this most likely just seems fresh in comparison and perhaps if I grew up with this other version I would think the opposite. Either way though it's worth checking out at least once for old-school monster kids.
 Supposedly this may have not been the only classic Universal monster movie that was shot this way and there might have been alternate Spanish version of others. If so none of those others seem to have survived but I sure would dig seeing a classic Spanish FRANKENSTEIN!


 When kung-fu fans bring up classic Shaw Brothers films this one(aka FIVE DEADLY VENOMS) is usually right at the top of their list of favorites. While I do find this movie entertaining I'm not sure if I'd actually rank it all that high. That probably has more to do with how many other great movies the Shaws churned out over the years than with the quality of this movie. Off the top of my head  I can think of AVENGING EAGLE, FIVE ELEMENT NINJAS and CRIPPLED AVENGERS as a few that I would rank higher and have re-watched more than this. I think VENOMS gets such high points because it was shown so often back in the day when Saturday-afternoon TV was full of all the classic fu-flicks. It's also full of murder, mystery and lots of action with some crazy animal-based fighting styles. I think maybe I just don't care as much about the characters in this one as I'm supposed to. Still a solid martial-arts classic worth a watch for real fans.

The best part of this flick is the intro of our bad-ass title characters!:


 If you told me there was a movie about a strange adopted fellow who has an obsession with Charles Manson and every piece of minute trivia surrounding the Tate/LaBianca murders, I would think that someone may have stolen my diary and written a screenplay based on it. Luckily though, since I do not have a diary (or a brother, which the main character in this film does), I can see this is all just a big weird coincidence.
 The movie itself is pretty strange. It's classified as a dark comedy but nothing very funny happens. The subject matter is obviously dark but I can't really see this appealing to too many horror fans outside of those who need to see everything Manson-related. The killer from SAW(Tobin Bell) does show  up as a modern-day Manson-cult member but I don't imagine many SAW fans would care much about that. Overall it's basically a very overly dramatic drama about familial/societal relationships which throws a twist ending in to tie it all up. It also goes a little too Hollywood-shticky(like most new movies) for my personal taste but maybe if you have low enough expectations and like unfunny comedies you might be able to tolerate this.