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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Sunday, May 21, 2017

THEY CALL ME TRINITY (1970)



 One of my all-time favorite spaghetti-westerns and, outside of the Leone ones, probably the one I've gone back and re-watched the most. It's got a great theme song, head-bonking action and some silly comedic elements but the main draw are the two main characters of Trinity and Bambino, two outlaw brothers portrayed so well by Terence Hill and Bud Spencer. These two had teamed up before but this is the movie that really brought them fame (in Italy anyway). The only thing missing is the sex and violence but this is a G-rated comedic western and as far as those go this one is most likely one of the best examples.
 There was one slightly less-great official sequel where we get to meet the brother's family and then a bunch of movies that were re-titled with "TRINITY something, something" that have nothing to do with this(and some of those don't even have Terence Hill in them which make them extra disappointing rip-offs!  AKA MY NAME IS TRINITY





Thursday, May 18, 2017

THE MUTHERS (1968)


  Not to be confused with the 1976 Filipino blaxploitation/action flick of the same name, this is a 60s sexploitation deal about bored suburbanites who become swingers.
 There's a song by the 60s freak-out hippie band The Fugs called 'Saran Wrap' which is about not having a condom and desperately choosing to use saran wrap instead. I'd always thought that they had invented this bizarre practice but it is on display here so maybe they saw this film also(or maybe wrapping your dick to avoid babies, and for added freshness, was just a groovy kind of thing to do in the 60s??). Besides this one odd moment the rest of this film is pretty standard sex stuff with lesbian humping, schoolgirl orgies and that sort of thing. There is a bar called The Pink Swan where all the housewives go to screw around and seems to be some sort of whorehouse but no one ever pays up so I'm not sure how they make any money. Besides this mystery it was all pretty uneventful, and very softcore, but still a pleasant enough, boob-filled spectacle to watch on Mother's Day and the ending, which even features some bloody violence!, really comes out of left-field.
 The very next year director Don Davis took scenes from this, and a few of his other sex-filled films, and made something called WILD OUTTAKES which is a compilation flick that I have yet to see.

THE MUTHERS The whole filthy film!





Tuesday, May 9, 2017

SISTERS OF DEATH (1976)


 There are a few things to like about this 70s exploitation flick, the main one being a whole gang of sexy ladies, including Claudia Jennings, who would go on to be in a few other drive-in films before dying young in a car crash getting into a scary sorta-proto-slasher situation with our gals being picked off one-by-one by an angry father after his daughter is murdered during an initiation rite gone wrong. There are also a bunch of clunky illogical things that happen, the main one being our ladies getting into a car with two complete strangers who drive them an hour into the country and drop them off at some weird abandoned house and they only mildly question all of this. Also, without spoiling anything, the ending doesn't seem to add up, unless I missed something. If you don't think about these things too hard though it's a decent 70s horror ride.


                             
                               Neat middle-eastern poster with some original artwork!:

Monday, May 8, 2017

WICKED SINS (2002)


 One of the most boring, badly-made things I've seen in awhile.  I mean sure it's an "erotic thriller" so you get some very attractive nekkid folks humping away in softcore porn fashion but everything else just seems like some terrible TV-movie of the week with a heaping helping of the worst acting you'll ever see. The fact that this was made in 2002 seems mind-boggling to me also. Wasn't hardcore porn pretty easily accessible by everyone at that point? I'm sure if I was 12 years old and it was still 1983 this would be wonderful but watching it in 2017 it's quite a sleep-inducing drag! You get straight and lesbo sex antics, a murder scene and a mystery that you couldn't care less about. Go watch some crappy porn instead.

This version isn't in English but the dialogue sucks anyway and you still get all the nudeness!:

Sunday, May 7, 2017

NIGHT CREATURES (1962)


 Working my way through The Hammer Horror DVD set this is one that I'de never heard of but it's pretty good. This mostly has to do with Peter Cushing and Oliver Reed who are always excellent and the fact that the film moves along pretty briskly unlike many other Hammer films from this era. If you're looking for an actual horror film though this one barely qualifies being more of a dramatic tale of booze smuggling villagers (and pirates) and the king's army who are out to stop them. The titular "Night Creatures"(who reminded me of those bullies in THE KARATE KID who wore the skeleton pajamas) are not really a main focal point and the original British title of CAPTAIN CLEGG is more fitting, if not as exploitative. To sum it all up a good film that's not exactly a good example of Hammer horror but worth a look for something slightly different from the famous studio.



Double Chill Show with Hammer's PHANTOM!:


Friday, May 5, 2017

NIGHTMARE (1964)


 Somewhat dull Hammer flick that deals with a young lady(Jennie Linden) who sees her mom go nutzoid and stab her dad to death. She then has recurring nightmares and sees things that may, or may not, actually be there and goes a bit wacky herself. There's a couple of twists and turns that really reminded me of an old EC comic story. You know those ones where evil is punished at the end and justice is served. As is always the case with Hammer everything looks great, even in black and white, and the acting is fine but it's probably not one I would go back to rewatch anytime soon. AKA HERE'S THE KNIFE DEAR: NOW USE IT




Shock show double-feature with this Hammer FRANKENSTEIN epic!:


Thursday, May 4, 2017

THE HEAD (1959)


 I've heard this described as a German rip-off of THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, except that movie didn't come out until 1962. So unless we're dealing with time-traveling filmmakers this is just a movie that shares the ol' living-head-in-a-pan gimmick from that film. While I prefer the American '62 head flick to this one, mainly because there's a lot of this that's tough to stay awake through, this one does at least offer us a sexy dancer lady who get her head swapped with a humpbacked crippled lass, so that's something. There's also all the standard mad doctor schtick and, of course, a talking head full of wires which make for some fairly typical b-movie scenes. Oh and as a little bonus you also get a living dog's head-in-a-pan! AKA THE SCREAMING HEAD and A HEAD FOR THE DEVIL



            Played in England on an X-rated double-bill with this Italian vampire flick!:

Known in Germany & France as THE NAKED AND THE SATAN!:



Wednesday, May 3, 2017

4D MAN (1959)



 This scientist fellow(James Congdon) is working on an experiment that makes solid objects pass through other solid objects on a molecular level which I guess is obtained bu entering into "the fourth dimension". Somehow this ends up screwing up his brother(Robert Lansing), who's also a scientist working on some super-metal, allowing him to pass through any object but also speeding up his aging process. While I'm not too sure about the scientific validity of anything that's presented in this 50s sci-fi flick I do know that it's another example of the science-gone-bad genre which was very popular at the time. A lot of the plot has to do with the drama of our main scientist involved in a love-triangle with his brother and his fiance(Lee Meriwether, who went on to be Catwoman on the BATMAN TV show). It's kinda hard to be very sympathetic to the hero since he's stolen one of his brothers girlfriends in the past and does the same thing for a second time here. Once our "evil" brother starts sapping various folks to gain his youth back things get very clear cut though. While not the most exciting movie of the era it's a tolerable time-waster for classic sci-fi appreciators. AKA MASTER OF TERROR








Saturday, April 29, 2017

THE MAGIC GARDEN OF STANLEY SWEETHEART (1970)

         "Are we hippies? You think we're hippies? I bet people think we're hippies, right?"

 Don Johnson's first movie is a total hippie-dippy, freakout story, based on a book, about a college student in New York looking to get laid and find some deep-philosophical truth about life in the process because this was made way back before deep-philosophical thoughts were banned from all forms of popular entertainment. You get lots of nudity including a quick full-frontal glimpse at Don's Johnson and plenty of nekkid hippie gals. While not a great film overall(and it does have that wacky kiddie "Sweet Gingerbread Man" song oddly pop up a couple of times!?) it is an interesting and surprisingly downbeat example of a flower-power flick complete with nihilistic 70s suicidal ending! I was glad to get to view a rare 35mm screening of this recently on the big screen hosted by film critic Joe Bob Briggs who is a big fan and if it's good enough for Joe Bob it's certainly good enough for me.

 


Thursday, April 20, 2017

JENNIE: WIFE/CHILD (1968)


 Set to the groovy tunes of Davie Allen and The Arrows(who I know from the awesome soundtrack to THE WILD ANGELS) this is the tale of a farmer(Jack Lester) who gets himself a young wife(Beverly Lunsford). He mostly treats her like crap so she gets the hots for the hunky, but also slightly retarded, farmhand(Jim Reader). So we get a love-triangle situation that leads to a weird ending with people chained in a basement and redemption through the act of screwing the local tramp(Virginia Wood). There's a skinny-dipping segment that uses the song "Birthday Suit"(which I recall from hearing when I was a little kid on the cartoon THE CATTANOOGA CATS which is a strange connection).
 A pretty good dramatic weird sexploitation flick from just before the XXX explosion came into being. AKA TENDER GRASS and WIFE/CHILD




At the drive-in with a Bert I. Gordon comedy!:

Drive-in triple feature with an early 60s crime thriller (which isn't a biker flick) and an old 50s horror flick!


Tuesday, April 18, 2017

COMMON LAW WIFE (1963)


 For what's mostly a silly sexploitation flick this one has a pretty bleak ending. Without giving too much of anything away I'll just say ii involves a couple of murders and a suicide. Not exactly the way you would think a film of this type would end up but that's cool. The plot concerns an older gentleman named Shug (whose name reminds of that rap guy Suge Knight) who wants to trade in his lady friend for his young niece, named "Baby Doll", because according to Shug(short for Shugfoot) incest is just a word. But surprisingly to the old fella, she's legally his, you guessed it, common law wife. There's lots of drama and love-triangles(rectangles?) to wade through but it does have a sweet climax. I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10 if I rated things like that.
 This was directed by cult fav Larry Buchanan who would go on to make a bunch of clunky sci-fi flicks throughout the 60s.






Sunday, April 16, 2017

UNKISSED BRIDE (1966)


 I guess technically this should be titled UNSCREWED BRIDE but that title might not have gone over well back in 1966. The story deals with a newlywed couple that can't consummate their marriage because every time the groom hears or sees something related to a Mother Goose story he passes out and apparently in the world of this film people are constantly referencing fairy-tales which makes things rough. For a film that seems to be marketed as sexploitation this is pretty tame with no nudity and fits more into the lame sex-comedy category. Comedian Henny Youngman shows up for a second to call someone at a drive-in(that's showing nursery rhyme cartoons, of course) stupid and old-timey shock-jock Joe Pyne has a couple of lines. This was directed by the producer of THE BLOB so The Blob gets name-checked. Overall this is a pretty dated and not very funny film that's only saving grace to me was some cool L.A. go-go dancing scenes which hardly made it worth the time. AKA MOTHER GOOSE A GO-GO

 


Sunday, April 9, 2017

THE RIDER OF THE SKULLS (1965)


 OK, so this was originally a Mexican serial featuring a masked(very Lone Ranger-like) hero battling various foes and they spliced 3 of these episodes together and released this. Because of this it does get a bit repetitive watching this as a feature-length film. On the plus side they do jam pack three ridiculous monsters into it including a ratty-ass Wolf man, or Lobo Humano in the native tongue, a vampire who has a hairy Wolfman-like face and frequently turns into a big rubber bat on a string and finally a Headless Horseman who manages to regain his big paper-mache head before battling our hero with the cool skull-covered shirt. There's tons of day-for-night shooting which leads to our vampire worrying about the sun coming up while clearly standing in bright daylight with shadows all around him. The werewolf has a unique way of transforming where he first completely turns into a skeleton before becoming a Wolf-Man. It's all very silly and watching this in a theater it was a bit difficult to stay awake during some of the drawn-out parts but worth checking out if you want to seem some obscure Mexican monster weirdness.
 The director here, Alfred Salazar, is the brother of bigtime cult Mexican actor Abel Salazar. He also made some Aztec Mummy movies and a few Santo flicks. He has been dubbed the Mexican Ed Wood and that's not too far off from the truth.


No matter who our hero is battling his solution is just to punch the hell out of his enemy!:


Tuesday, April 4, 2017

THE DEVIL HORSE (1975)


 This is a weird Mexican flick that's all over the place. It starts out as a wacky western musical comedy with a dad and his two sons who call themselves The 3 Musketeers and get into bar fights and other shenanigans. Then shit gets serious as one of the sons gets brutally murdered and a Satanic horse brings him back from the dead in exchange for the father's soul. I think this part is based on some Mexican folklore/legend thing and this tale has been done more than a few times over the years. It finally ends up being a sort-of EXORCIST rip-off as they try and get rid of this new violent(towards people and animals) and rapey devil-man. While certainly not a Mexican horror classic I found it worthwhile for it's weird disjointed plot line and it's probably the most artsy film that director Federico Curiel(who also made a few Santo flicks) did.

There was also an earlier neat-looking comic book featuring our black Satanic Devil Horse!:


Saturday, April 1, 2017

DEATH COLLECTOR (1976)



 Never heard of this New Jersey-based mobster flick until I found it at the local video store on glorious VHS for 33 cents. Gotta say it was definitely worth the purchase. Reading up on this it turns out this is the film that Martin Scorsese discovered Joe Pesci and Frank Vincent in and this seems like it overall would be an influential movie on later mafia stuff like GOODFELLAS and the SOPRANOS series. The main character here(Lou Criscuola) even has that young seething Robert DeNiro-vibe going on. There's also a strong Eurocrime-feeling you get while viewing this. Sadly this is not more well-known since it is such a strong entry into the mafiosa/hitman genre but it looks like it's out there really cheap so pick it up if you like watching wiseguys getting bumped off. AKA FAMILY ENFORCER, THE COLLECTOR and THE ENFORCER



The cheap-o DVDs all try and cash in on Joe Pesci being in this even though he's not the star:




Wednesday, March 29, 2017

STRAY CAT ROCK: DELINQUENT GIRL BOSS (1970)



 Being a big fan of the movie STRAY CAT ROCK: SEX HUNTER I finally got a hold of the DVD box set with all the other films in this series. DELINQUENT GIRL BOSS(not to be confused with the other DELINQUENT GIRL BOSS series made by a different rival studio) is the very first film in the Stray Cat Rock series and while it's not as amazing as the 3rd movie it still offers similar thrills involving an all-female gang of violent Asian ladies. It moves a bit slower and a lot of scenes are filmed in the dark but the ultra-stylish very 60s-feeling club music scenes are cool and you get the expected catfights, gun violence and crazy camera angles. I've heard these films start really cranking with the next movie so I need to get to that one pronto.  AKA FEMALE JUVENILE DELINQUENT LEADER: STRAY CAT ROCK

The Stray Cat Rock/Alley Cat Rock series(amazingly 4 of these were churned out in the same year!):

1. STRAY CAT ROCK: DELINQUENT GIRL BOSS (1970)
2. STRAY CAT ROCK: WILD JUMBO (1970)
3. STRAY CAT ROCK: SEX HUNTER (1970)
4. STRAY CAT ROCK: MACHINE ANIMAL (1970)
5. STRAY CAT ROCK: BEAT '71 (1971)




Monday, March 27, 2017

COONSKIN (1975)


 Director/animator Ralph Bakshi followed up his classic FRITZ THE CAT and HEAVY TRAFFIC cartoon flicks with this mostly animated, but also some live-action, version of a blaxploitation movie. It starts out with the unforgettable tune "Nigger Man" sung by the great Scatman Crothers, from there we get Scat and a younger buddy attempting a prison break and while this goes on he tells(and we get to see in cartoon form) the old story of Brer Rabbit but updated to a very urban environment with some crazy violence and sex thrown in. The whole film is a statement on being race in America. It is a film that was made in an era when being offensive was not seen as the ultimate sin as it is in these sad days. While it may seem most offensive to black folks on the surface due to the characterization and stereotypes on display it does not give very positive depictions to the white police or the Italian mafioso-types either. In fact I'm pretty sure the design and intent of this film is to offend everyone watching and therefore at least make some people think after viewing. Of course this would be wasted on today's audience which will never lay eyes upon anything that makes them in the least bit uncomfortable.
 A couple of stars beside Scatman include Barry White and his smooth deep voice and Philip Michael Thomas(aka that black dude from MIAMI VICE). Give it a watch if you're not an overly-sensitive, politically-correct piece of human-garbage(aka almost everyone still alive in 2017) or you just dig weird psychedelic cartoons. AKA STREET FIGHT and re-released as BUSTIN' OUT


                                                         
                                                          Scat!!:


                                                 

                                                  The less offensive title:

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

TRAIN TO BUSAN (2016)


 While it's true that the world doesn't really need anymore zombie movies in it I figured I would give this one a chance since I am generally a fan of modern Korean horror flicks. I'm glad I did because this one is a pretty entertaining watch. There are some highly unlikely scenarios including people fist-fighting their way through gangs of zombies and surviving similar impossible scenarios but that's what can happen when you mix high-speed action movie with horror. They manage to make you care for the passengers on this train through zombieland and there's a couple of nods to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD(the big one being that the main asshole character is named Mr. Coo in homage to NIGHTS' Mr. Cooper). One detriment, which seems to be mandatory with these newer Korean films, is the length of seems a bit long while viewing it but at least they kept it at only 2 hours so it coulda been worse. If you can deal with modern action and some zombie antics that might remind you of that stupid WORLD WAR Z(which is actually a movie I've never even bothered to watch but I have seen the dumb-looking trailer and that was enough!) give it a look.

        

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

THE KISS OF THE VAMPIRE (1963)


 Hammer studios horror involving a cult of vampires who set their sites on a honeymooning couple. As with many of these old Hammer flicks this one is pretty dull. You do get all the classy stylish Hammer touches and vampire chomping action you would expect and there's a big ending involving angry bats that was cool. Uniquely there is a way to be saved after being bitten by a vamp according to this movie. It involves a magical seance and a priest and if you can't get those two thing apparently you can just burn the bite marks right away and you will be just fine. Maybe it's all just a little too stodgy and classy for me, and there's no Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing to be found, but I'm sure all the old-time horror fans still love this one.
 There is a supposedly longer version of this titled KISS OF EVIL.


                                                     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Handy vampire facts!:


Hammer double-feature spook-show!:



Sunday, March 12, 2017

THE ENCHANTRESS (1983)



 Being more of a fan of the reality-based 70s Shaw Brothers films than their later 80s fantasy-filled epics this one is a bit of a letdown. The story is mainly about a marriage gone bad and a grudge that lasts for like 20 years and it involves lots of kung-fu and wizardry/magic-fighting between a martial-arts master who's haunted by his ex-wife. There's also a master swordsman and the daughter of our blood-sucking, body-possessing ghost-lady who drive the story. In addition to these 4 folks there's also about 10 zillion other characters to try and keep track of which is a little rough. If you are a fan of 80s wackiness though this is filled with lots of flying around on wires, explosions and the usual great Shaw studios sets even if there's not really much in the way of any good actual kung-fu.

 


Saturday, March 11, 2017

THE BRIDES OF DRACULA (1960)


 The follow-up to Hammer's 1st Dracula movie. In this one Dracula is already dead so we don't get any Christopher Lee returning instead we get a Baron Meinster(David Peel(not to be confused with the New York hippie singer David Peel)) as our lead vampire and a bunch of his lady-vampires. So I guess technically this should be titled THE BRIDES OF MEINSTER but who the hell is gonna watch that?  Anyway we do get Peter Cushing back as Van Helsing and since it's a Hammer film everything looks really great including the sets and the leading ladies. This doesn't really live up to the first film and doesn't get as sexy as the latter films but still a decent monster romp for a Saturday afternoon.







Paired on an unlikely double-bill with this film about the perils of teenage pregnancy!:

The other more rocking David Peel!:

Friday, March 10, 2017

BAMBOO HOUSE OF DOLLS (1973)


 One of the sleazier Shaw Brothers movies. This one is a women in prison flick set during the Japanese occupation of China during World War II. The story concerns some Christian nurses, including a few white chicks, taken captive and put through the ringer by those evil Japanese. While it's not quite as insane and there's way less pubic hair than it's Eurotrash counterparts there's still quite a bit of sleaze to please the typical pervy viewer of this stuff. We get whipping, raping a blind lady on broken glass, boot-licking and some all-around general torture all set to one weird-ass snazzy soundtrack. It also all culminates with a bunch of gun, sword and kung-fu fighting veering things slightly towards the more standard Shaw Brothers style.



DOLLS around the world!:





ASYLUM (1972)


 British anthology written by the guy who wrote PSYCHO(Robert Bloch) and released by Amicus studios featuring a bunch of big English names like Peter Cushing, Herbert Lom, Charlotte Rampling and Britt Ekland. Oh and that guy in the wheelchair from A CLOCKWORK ORANGE(Patrick Magee) whose strange over-acting style I always enjoy. The main story involves, you guessed it, an asylum, with a bunch of wackos who don't seem all that nutty except that they all tell these ridiculous stories which we get to see play out in individual segments. There's a wife murderer, a magical life-giving suit, a brother murderer and a little killer robot(which is the story that seems to stick in people's memories the most out of these). While British horror isn't my favorite this one is OK, especially for something rated PG, and is so inoffensive you could probably show your grandma and not worry about freaking anyone out. Also there's some nice wallpaper that I couldn't help but notice during some of the more boring scenes.



 Released in America as HOUSE OF CRAZIES: