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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

FRANKENSTEIN'S BLOODY TERROR (1968)


 I never knew that this Paul Naschy werewolf flick was presented in 3-D in the U.S.A. back in the 70s until just recently. I also never figured I would get a chance to actually view it like that but thanks to a newly refurbished print I caught it in all it's glorious dimensions recently.
 The film itself is a pretty groovy monster-mash done Eurotrash-style. We get Mr. Naschy getting himself bitten and cursed while dispatching a Wolf-Man. Then in order to cure himself he ends up with a vampire couple posing as doctors who specialize in lycanthropy.  It's got sexy ladies, blood and monster brawling(including vampire vs. werewolf and some werewolf on werewolf action!). The only thing really missing is anything to do with Frankenstein. The American producer, Sam Sherman, tries to remedy this a bit by calling the main family Wolfstein but this is a pretty tenuous link. If you can overlook that one little thing though this is a great ride for appreciators of monster cinema and it's especially sweet in 3-D. AKA THE MARK OF THE WOLFMAN, THE WEREWOLF'S MARK, HELL'S CREATURES and THE VAMPIRE OF DR. DRACULA
 This is the 1st of Naschy's Waldemar The Werewolf flicks to be released. There was supposedly an earlier one titled NIGHTS OF THE WOLF-MAN that was never completed due to it's director, Rene Govar, dropping dead.
There are 13 sequels(or more accurately just follow up werewolf flicks) to this including:

1.   ASSIGNMENT TERROR (1970)
2.   WEREWOLF VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN (1971)
3.   THE FURY OF THE WOLFMAN (1972)
4.   DR. JEKYLL AND THE WEREWOLF (1972) 
5.   CURSE OF THE DEVIL (1974)
6.   NIGHT OF THE HOWLING BEAST (1975)
7.   THE CRAVING (1980)
8.   GOODNIGHT, MR. MONSTER (1982)(the only one where Naschy isn't named Waldemar Daninsky)
9.   THE BEAST AND THE MAGIC SWORD (1983)
10. HOWL OF THE DEVIL (1987)
11. LYCANTROPUS: THE MOONLIGHT MURDERS (1996)
12. TOMB OF THE WEREWOLF (2003)
13. A WEREWOLF IN THE AMAZON (2005)





TV Terror!:


Sunday, October 29, 2017

THE MUMMY'S TOMB (1942)


 This is the 3rd mummy movie in the Universal studios series following THE MUMMY'S HAND. If you have not seen that one there's a lot of recapping going on here with a bunch of reused footage to start things out. When things finally get underway our  Mummy, this time played by Lon Chaney Jr., is revived and brought to America for his revenge on those who messed with his tomb. Chaney is pretty much wasted under all the makeup and this one is pretty by-the-numbers and never quite as entertaining as the last entry.
 I'm working my way through the whole Mummy box-set and I assume the next couple will be more of the same but I will keep my hopes up.



THE BELLS (1973)


 I first saw this Eurotrash/art flick on a cheap-o cut-to-crap DVD under the more common title of BELL FROM HELL and it didn't make any sense. It seemed visually interesting enough though so when I got the chance to check out an uncut version recently in the theater I figured I would give it another shot. Well come to find out it still isn't all that coherent. The story concerns a fellow(Renaud Verley) who is wrongly committed to an insane asylum by his shitty family for their financial gain. When he gets out it's revenge time. Seemingly simple enough premise it's runtime is filled with enough weird bits that things are never what they seem. Is our protagonist actually insane now or just acting? Why is he really into the idea of incest with his cousins? There are elaborate sequences of him faking gory acts like plucking his own eyeballs out and at one point he builds a completely life-size dummy of himself just to be a little prankster. This serves to throw off the audience as well as the film's characters. If you're a fan of obtuse European art-flicks, where the main character is a pretty unlikable sort of fellow, this might be better appreciated by you than myself who was expecting more of a straightforward sleazy horror film. Oh, and I guess you would also have to be ok with random slaughterhouse scenes of cows being bloodily butchered.
 More interesting than the movie itself, to me, is that the director, Claudio Guerin, fell of a belltower while filming the final scene resulting in his death. It's a shame because judging from this film he seems like a guy that could have done something worthwhile, or at least somewhat interesting, if he continued on.




VHS!:



Saturday, October 28, 2017

HACK-O-LANTERN (1988)


 This one falls into that really stupid 80s horror movie category. That being said it's also a pretty fun watch with the right crowd which I was able to experience last night at a rare public screening. Everything about this is just strange and wacky including the plot about a Satanic grandpa(Hy Pyke) who rapes his own daughter to spawn a kid whose sole purpose is to be an important soldier in the Devil's Army, at least I think that's the plot it gets a bit muddled at points along the way. It also falls into the slasher category except it has a fairly low-body count but at least the gore-scenes are kinda inventive including a death-by-corset, death-by-trident and a couple of deaths by various garden tools. There's also cemetary sex on top of a fresh corpse, a party where there's a fully bare-assed stripper performing, a couple of 80s hair-metal bands, violence to pumpkins, ass-tattoos(I guess technically they are ass-brandings) and a bunch of other oddball elements that need to be seen. Good off-the-beaten-track watch for the Halloween season. AKA DEATH MASK, THE DAMNING and HALLOWEEN NIGHT

 


Spawned this sweet tune!:



Festive VHS!:


Festive German VHS!:



Wednesday, October 25, 2017

THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS (1959)


 Director Russ Meyer starts out with his first full-length feature here. He would go on to way better stuff but the basic elements are present including the high-speed intro, the voice-over narration and most importantly the large-breasted ladies who have no problem getting naked constantly. The main problem with this film is that it really doesn't have any plot beyond our title character(Bill Teas) who goes door-to-door and runs into sexy ladies that he fantasizes about being in the nude. Also it gets really repetitive especially with their being no dialogue and just some wonky jazz tunes playing over the various nature romps and it's all extremely easy to fall asleep to. It does have some historical value though since this was the first of the nudie-cutie flicks that wasn't presented as a documentary on nudism but basically just sleazy titillation for it's own sake, so that's something. Nowadays this probably works better as background visuals at some slimy dive-bar than it does as a real movie-viewing experience but if you can make it through 60 minutes or so of grandpa porn, that sometimes feels way longer, give it a gander.





Tuesday, October 24, 2017

VIDEODROME (1983)


 Ordinarily movies that feature hallucinations that we're never quite sure are actually happening, or not, being being a main feature of a film is something I don't care for but in the case of this film I give it a pass. There are certainly enough ideas intertwined with the twisted realities that we are shown to keep me invested. This film sorta predicts the internet even if it got the exact medium wrong. Reality TV programming, virtual reality and obsessions with video games are also not too hard to see coming within the universe set forth here. What is basically an obtuse horror/sci-fi-art film that somehow received a major release seems very hard to comprehend being made today but maybe with stuff like that artsy MOTHER flick getting a shot it would be possible? Then again films these days seem to be play in theaters for about 2 weeks before they are gone so maybe it's not even that big of a deal anymore. Debbie Harry is really good here as the pain-loving gal pal of Max Renn(played equally brilliantly by the great James Woods who would go on to become a Republican which I guess is the worst sin in Hollywood since his career has yet to recover). This may be my favorite film by director David Cronenberg but it's really hard to pick since I love almost everything he has done pretty equally. Bizarre imagery including stomach vaginas, hands that turn into puss-oozing guns, veiny and throbbing television sets that suck you right into their warped reality and tumor-infested "bad guys"(are there really any good guys in this??) that melt like the wicked witch make for one of the all-time great mind-trips of cinema.

 

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

KING KONG (1933)


 Caught this recently on a theatrical double-feature release, playing before the classic giant-ant flick THEM!. While this was a Halloween lead-up event, this movie has always been more of a Thanksgiving tradition for me and probably a great many other people of a certain age-group who live in the New York City area since it was shown here at that time of the year for a long, long time until TV became an empty cesspool of non-stop commercials and unwatchable puke.
 What can you say about this classic except that it is the granddaddy of giant-monster movies thanks to it's variety of prehistoric creatures that pop-up, the FX-work by Willis O'Brien was revolutionary at the time and it's a great adventure/sci-fi/thriller of a movie that moves along briskly and doesn't ever get boring or bogged down. The actors are all amazing in that old-timey way, and Fay Wray becomes the icon of all scream-queens to follow.
 There's only 1 official sequel  but about a gazillion knock-offs and spoofs, a cartoon-version, a Japanese version and a few remakes including one from the 70s which I thought was pretty cool when I was a kid and a couple of newer cgi-ladened shitfests that I have no interest in ever bothering with.

Re-released 5 years later with this trailer:



                                                                    French poster:




There's about a trillion alternate posters for this film!:



Sunday, October 15, 2017

FROZEN SCREAM (1975)


 Not to be confused with the giallo, THE FROZEN TERROR, this is definitely one of the worst things I've seen in a long time. Got to watch this as the first half  of a double-feature along with MICROWAVE MASSACRE and I'm not sure how I managed to stay awake through the whole runtime of this. There's lots of terrible acting and a nonsensical plot about a mad-scientist creating zombies that have to be kept at a certain temperature(hence the title). There's also terrible dubbing and one of the oddest things I've seen where they occasionally dub a narrator pontificating over the characters on screen who are still talking! It's almost like the movie itself knows that the dialogue is mostly pointless so they take you away from it rather abruptly from time to time to save your sanity. There's a little bit of blood and a little bit of nudity but nothing all that exciting happens. I'm kind of shocked this thing was made in the 70s since it seems way more like something that would have been shot-on-video in the 80s and it has a really crappy slasher movie-vibe going through it.




                                  This nice-looking lady does not ever show up in the movie!:


LOVE IN 3-D (1973)



 I once saw a porno film in 3-D on the big screen but I had never experienced a 3-D German sexploitation flick the way it was originally meant to be viewed until last night.  It's a pretty fun and equally dumb watch that does get a bit monotonous towards the end. The director of this, Walter Boos, also made a few of those SCHOOLGIRL REPORT movies which this has a very similar feel to.
 Judging by some of the comments I overheard, I'm guessing it also has the ability to aggravate current-day "feminists" with it's very 70s style of humour. Why someone who's that easily offended would choose to pay to see this movie I'm not quite sure but I'm also not really sure why people are into masochism either so whatever. So check this out, preferably in 3-D if possible, if you want to see juggs in your face, bouncing sex antics, lots of European bush on display and a very young-looking Christina Lindberg(most famous, of course for THEY CALL HER ONE EYE and various other Euro-sex epics)  popping out of the screen or if you're an ultra-sensitive-type who wants something to be perpetually pissed-off about.
Released on video as FIRST KISSES

The original German intro:

Saturday, October 14, 2017

MICROWAVE MASSACRE (1983)


 If you ever wanted to see Jackie Mason starring as the killer in a slasher movie this might be the closest to that you will find. You don't actually get Mr. Mason here but instead Jackie Vernon who I don't really know much about except that he kinda reminds me of that other Jackie and he was also the voice of FROSTY THE SNOWMAN on that famous 60s holiday cartoon. I caught this 80s kinda-horror but more of a comedy flick in a theater as part of a double-feature along with FROZEN SCREAM and in comparison to that turd this was refreshing. On it's own though I wouldn't recommend this to anyone except lovers of very stupid 80s stuff that's probably more famous for it's VHS box than the film itself. There is a bit of blood here and there and some decnet nekkid boobs on display to go along with its stupid Joe Schmoe-schlub turned cannibal storyline so that's something. One big thing lacking here is no one actually gets killed via the microwave(and this microwave is so big that you can fit a body in it so it did seem like a possibility) making the title a bit of a cop-out.




The best way to start off a nice classy film!!:




Tuesday, October 10, 2017

THE MAN THEY COULD NOT HANG (1939)


 Boris Karloff starts this movie out as a pretty sympathetic doctor whose goal is to help humanity conquer death. Unfortunately to achieve this goal he has to kill a guy to prove out his theory and test out his mechanical heart-thing-a-ma-jig(this movie sorta predicts artificial hearts and heart-transplants way before they actually existed, so that's kinda cool and gives things a bit of a sci-fi feel)). This results in Dr. Savaard(Boris) getting himself sentenced to death by hanging. Now, to be clear, his "victim" did volunteer for all this but I guess he forgot to get that in writing. The second half of the film sees Karloff in his more typical role as a revenge-seeking, back-from-the-dead, murder-crazy monster. A pretty neat and short flick that's worth a look for old-timey horror/thriller fans. This must have been somewhat successful since Mr. Karloff would go on to play a mad-scientist of some sort or another in a whole bunch more films after this.

This is not the trailer despite the title but it is Boris and assistant doing some sciency stuff:



                                                         "Do not see this picture!":



Sunday, October 8, 2017

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER (1960)


 There have been quite a few versions of this Edgar Allen Poe story filmed over the years starting way back in 1928. This is the first in a series of director Roger Corman's adaptations of various Poe tales and it stars Vincent Price as a real creep who seems to be holding his sister hostage in what seems to be a haunted house full of ghosts of their ancestors. For the most part it's a real talky and pretty dull affair all the way up until the ending. Price does raise things above what they would otherwise be but even with someone being buried alive and the big climax this is still one of my least favorite things starring Mr. P. Corman, being the cheap guy that he was, would reuse some of the fiery special-fx shots that end this film in some of the other 7 films that would follow in the series. PIT AND THE PENDULUM still remains my favorite of the bunch.  AKA HOUSE OF USHER

Some other USHER'S:
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER - 1950 (Made in England)
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER - 1979 (TV-movie with Martin Landau)
REVENGE IN THE HOUSE OF USHER 1983 (Spanish Jess Franco production with Howard Vernon)
THE HOUSE OF USHER - 1989 (A British/U.S./Canadian co-production with Oliver Reed)



                                         Italian title THE LIVING AND THE DEAD!:

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

THE OMEGA MAN (1971)


 Along with SOYLENT GREEN and PLANET OF THE APES Charlton Heston made a great sorta-trilogy and great triple-feature of 70s end-of-the-world flicks. This one, which is a remake of the Vincent Price flick THE LAST MAN ON EARTH, the great Mr. Heston takes on a gang of mutated psychopaths with guns blazing. There's a kind-of blaxploitation feel to some of this one due to an African-American lady(Rosalind Cash) that shows up and one of the not-so nice freaky killers(Lincoln Kilpatrick) who is a black man whose skin has turned white due to the apocalyptic plague that's running rampant. There was also a 2007 remake of this, or I guess more accurately the novel that all these are based on, titled, same as the book, I AM LEGEND with Will Smith that I know I've seen but don't remember liking it much. The original Price film is a good one and seemingly a big influence on NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, so it is important but this is the one I've gone back to rewatch the most and that's probably because I enjoy that 70s style the most. Heston gets to do his Jesus impression, there's a cool denim jacket with a big middle finger on it and manages to have a happy and sad ending all at the same time.



                                                        Japanese OMEGA MAN!!:


EL ULTIMO HOMBRE!!: