This Eurotrash sex/softcore-porn movie is supposed to be a sequel to SIX SWEDISH GIRLS IN A BOARDING SCHOOL and it's pretty much exactly the same as that one. Brigitte Lahaie and friends are back screwing anyone that stops at their gas station. In this fantasyland apparently STDs are nonexistent. The bicycle with the dildo in the seat from the first movie becomes a stationary bike with a dildo now. Exactly what you expect with not many surprises beyond the gag with the TV-set that can see and interact with the horny people around it. AKA SIX SWEDES AT A PUMP, SWEDISH EROTIC SEXATIONS, HIGH TEST GIRLS and FRIENDLY FAVORS
The Tube Bar Tapes(recorded in beautiful New Jersey) were the inspiration for The Jerky Boys and the prank-calling of Moe's bar on THE SIMPSONS among other things. The audio from the actual tapes is used for the first portion of this short while we see still photos of the legendary(and perfectly cast) Lawrence Tierney looking quite perturbed. The 2nd half gives us a bloody curb-stomping and some bikini babes for added thrills.
Director Chris Gore(famous for being the creator of FILM THREAT magazine) only made a couple of early shorts before focusing on his career in critiquing other movies and while they're all clearly very low-budget and amateurish, I dig the punk style that they convey and wish there were more remnants of the 90s like this to remind me about the only exciting cinematic movement in America in that mostly crappy decade.
Director Jess Franco had a habit of remaking(or at least reusing themes from) his older films in the 80s. This one borrows a bunch from THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF in that it deals with a crippled gal(Lina Romay) who is used by her doctor as a killing machine so he can obtain a big inheritance. Also like that one this is a bit disappointing in the nudity or sleaze departments. This is especially sad since one of our main actresses, Mabel Escano, is obviously very well-endowed! This could maybe be overlooked if it also wasn't so slowly-paced. Certainly this is non-essential Eurotrash viewing. This was apparently shelved for 3 years before getting any sort of release so someone must have agreed with me.
This one's notable for being an early example of hardcore porno. Made by John and Lem Amero, who had previously done a few softcore flicks, this one is what you get when you mix artsy-fartsy junk with explicit sex and it's not exactly a great example of either one of those 2 elements. Fellow sleaze-makers, and friends of the Ameros, Michael and Roberta Findlay show up briefly. We follow our main character(Uta Erickson, who appeared in films by The Findlays, Doris Wishman and Joe Sarno among others) through a trippy dream and ends up in hell, which might be my least favorite idea for a plot ever! Her name is Ruth and she's searching for her lost brother who she may have been incestuous with. Her brother's name is Gordon which just made me think about how I'd rather be watching anything with the late great Ruth Gordon in it instead of this.
One of the Three Stooges shorts I've seen the most thanks to it being in public domain for some reason and ending up on pretty much every cheap-o Stooges set released on DVD or VHS. This one has the boys in a courtroom causing their usual chaos. They try and murder a parrot, shoot a man's toupee and, of course, smack the shit out of each other among other things. A classic if you're not sick of seeing it yet.
Nothing says cheap-ass VHS quite like a crayoned cartoon drawing!:
A cast of unknown hippie-looking folks have sex with each other in Helen Bedd's(Sandy Carey's) house. Strangely enough our leading lady doesn't partake in the triple X action and only gets her tits rubbed on in the first sexy scene. Also of note is a pregnant gal(Linda McDowell) getting in on the hardcore smutty play. Clocking in at just under an hour this was all shot in one day and you can really tell.
Rape in 70s porn is certainly nothing unique but this one takes it to a whole other level being basically just rape for a little over an hour. Not much of plot to get in the way of all the grossness. The "story" deals with a white gal who is kidnapped, abused and, of course, raped by a gang of angry militant racist black fellows. It all ends with some poorly staged bloodshed. Quentin Tarantino claims that this is his favorite porn flick. That might tell you all you need to know about him. It does feature one of my favorite porn aliases Mr. Coke Cain as Coke and a bunch of 60s copyright-infringing music from the likes of The Doors, The Beach Boys and of course The Lovin' Spoonful with that banging title tune among others to remind us that this is a period piece.
Exceptional Shaw Brothers Studios kung fu flick(technically it's a swordplay flick or wuxia movie but I ain't no expert on such things!) revolving around a young gal's quest to get revenge for her murdered parents. What I think I like most about this one is who the good and bad guys are, and therefore who we root for as an audience, changes a bit from start to finish and it's not the clear cookie-cutter stereotypes that you find in most martial arts cinema. Our main gal, Ching Lee, is supposed to be a cripple but has no problem flying around and murdering her enemies with the help of the fabled Pheonix Jade Sword. There is the confusion that occurs often in these movies when a female, who's obviously a female, puts on men's clothes and no one can figure out it's not a man(so progressive!) which is really dumb! So don't look for much realism but do check it out for some sword-fighting action and intrigue.
Director Lo Wei would go on to work for Golden Harvest Studios after this and helm Bruce Lee's first big movies among many other things.
Not to be confused with the 2009 Bruce Lee biopic with the same title or the 1973 documentary also with the same title. This one has very little to do with the real Bruce and is a very forgettable kung fu flick starring Bruce Le. I guess this is really a what if story about what if Bruce Lee was in a kung fu gang with a guy who looks like a Chinese Curly from THE THREE STOOGES and fought using the snake style. Oh and he got some magical powers from a comet when he was a baby. Real bottom-tier stuff! AKA CHINESE CHIEH CHUAN KUNG FU and BRUCE LEE SUPERSTAR.
Chuck Norris and the police vs. a drug-dealing, kung fu fighting killer of cops(and other martial artists). Just what you would expect from a Norris flick of this era. The pace is a bit slow which might lead to some drowsy viewing. The payoff end fight is decent though.
The big baddie here, Bill "Superfoot" Wallace was John Belushi's bodyguard. The #2 baddie, Ron O'Neal was, of course, SUPER FLY.
Besides Jess Francos shot-on-video crap that he made at the end of his career his worst films have to be his action movies. This one even has some big name stars like Robert Forster and George Kennedy in it but still manages to be a mess. We do get a ridiculous scene of Mr. Kennedy in a gun fight with a helicopter but most of this movie is tough to get through. It also doesn't help that Franco, the king of sleazy cinema, imbues this movie with absolutely nothing sexy going on. Lina Romay has probably never been so wasted in a role. AKA COUNTDOWN TO ESMERALDA BAY
Pretty dull title which properly conveys what you're going to get from this made for TV crime drama. This plays something like an episode of KOJACK or BARETTA and I'm sure you could find many episodes of those shows that were better than this. It is cool to see a little post-STAR TREK mustachioed William Shatner show up as a hood though.
This was actually a pilot-movie for a proposed series titled THE PROSECUTORS which was never made. I think I'll stick with watching old episodes of CHARLIE'S ANGELS!
Cheap-o DVD companies will try and fool us into think Shatner is the main character in this!:
I remember renting this one back in the VHS days when it was still a new release and finding it to be a big ol' turd. There was probably a lot of fast-forwarding to get through the slow-pace of it all. Re-watching it now, after seeing so much more cinematic garbage, I found it slightly more entertaining(no FF button needed!) but still nothing to actually recommend to anyone. Obviously inspired by ALIEN(but surprisingly not PREDATOR since that hadn't come out yet) the monster action is very lacking with a very miniscule creature that doesn't really get shown until the very end. It's really more of a contagion/virus movie which is way cheaper to make. Very skippable. AKA THE FALLING and MUTANT 2(making it a sequel to that other movie about a virus that turns people into homicidal zombies.)
Exploitation director Roberta Findlay, of TENEMENT fame, brings us this porn flick that spoofs popular 70s advice columnist Ann Landers. Truly a product of it's time, besides the newspaper celebrity of the day, dubbed Pam Slanders here, it also features John Holmes as an out-of-character morality crusader(at least for the first bit of the movie until everyone starts screwing everyone). Also worth mentioning is Eric Edwards' character is a real sleazy 70s man who who takes advantage of a virgin looking for a job and his supposedly 14-year-old step daughter(don't worry the actress is clearly an adult in pigtails). The fact that he's presented as our most "sympathetic" character probably says a lot about the degenerates who were going to see these films back in the sordid 42nd Street days. Findlay herself shows up as a secretary in one of the few non-sex roles here. There's also a band called Slim Pickens who close everything out by jamming to a big orgy. I've seen worse examples of 70s sleaze.
This is probably up there around the pinnacle of Jackie Chan movies where he, and his insane group of stuntmen, do crazy-ass stunts that look painful just to watch. The story is pretty basic righteous cops versus bad drug kingpins stuff but that's really secondary to the spectacle of seeing Jackie hanging off a speeding bus or sliding down an electrified pole while ripping the skin off his hands among other acts of courage/stupidity. It definitely beats his attempt at being in an American movie, THE PROTECTOR, which came out this same year by a long shot in the entertainment department. AKA JACKIE CHAN'S POLICE STORY
In the English-dubbed version they just use Jackie's real name as his character's name.
POLICE STORY 2 followed in 1988 which isn't quite up to the first one's level.
POLICE STORY III aka SUPERCOP came out in 1992 (there was a SUPERCOP 2 in 1993 but that's a Michelle Yeoh vehicle with just a little Jackie in it)
POLICE STORY 4 aka FIRST STRIKE was in 1996 and is more of James Bond-type deal involving nuclear weapons and international terrorists.
NEW POLICE STORY appeared in 2004 and has Jackie vs. a gang of murderers.
POLICE STORY: LOCKDOWN from 2013 really has nothing to do with the series and is one of those darker grittier Jackie Chan movies that he's seemed to embrace as he get older.
Better known, if known at all, as ULTIMAX FORCE, since that's what it was released as in America. This has best been described as a Filipino version of Chuck Norris' MISSING IN ACTION mixed with AMERICAN NINJA. Instead of one Michael Dudikoff though we get 4 ninja masters heading back to 'Nam to rescue our POWs there. Plenty of explosions, gun-fu and other martial arts action ensue. Treacherous Viet Kong leader does treacherous things. It's about as predictable as can be and only really entertaining if you have the lowest of action movie expectations/standards.
Director Willy Milan was pretty prolific for over 20 years but most of his stuff didn't get released outside of The Philippines.
The first RUCKUS film was a sort-of a proto-FIRST BLOOD deal with Dirk Benedict as a Vietnam vet who gets hassled in a small California town and Linda Blair helps him. There's obviously no real connection between these 2 films.
While most people would compare this one with THE BLOB, since we're dealing with a goopy monster who slithers after it's victims in a similarly menacing fashion, it's actually more accurately comparable with INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS since after people eat it a mind-control situation is enacted where it just tries and gets more and more people to consume it. The end game of our monster is not exactly clear beyond just controlling everyone, neither are it's powers which seem to change from scene to scene. Obviously like BODY SNATCHERS you could draw comparisons to Communism but since it was made in the 80s it's more focused on how evil the corporate media is in marketing and pushing THE STUFF. Directed by cult favorite Larry Cohen and featuring his regular, Michael Moriarty, doing a weird Andy Griffith impression and original SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE comic Garrett Morris as Chocolate Chip Charlie. Not the best from Clark's filmography but an offbeat one that's worth a watch.
Other big names that you wouldn't expect to show up in such a silly movie are Danny Aiello and Paul Sorvino.
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