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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013


 When I think of the title TOWER OF SCREAMING VIRGINS the last thing I would think of would be an old-timey swash-buckling epic that takes place in the middle ages with a bunch of political intrigue and double-crosses.  I would think maybe horror and they do call the queen here a witch a few times but she's not actually a witch and never does anything really witchy at all besides having people killed after she bangs them which I think makes her more of a black widow spider than a witch.  There are a few murders but it's never scary or all that spooky in any way.  I might also think sexploitation and although there's a few nudie scenes here and there and even one bit with some unexpected incestual sex, I wouldn't call this a sexploitation flick.  What you basically have here is the dreaded drama disguised as an exploitation film.  While it's well done enough for what it is, it's really not my kind of film.  Maybe if it was called something else it wouldn't feel so disappointing but as it is I can't help but feel that they wasted a great title.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


 This starts out with some funky soul music and then Bruce Lee-imitator Bruce Li beats up some bullies.  From there it's off to some kung fu island adventures.  Apparently everyone in New Guinea does snake-style kung fu and is part of a tribe of snakepeople led by a guy who wears the occasional skull mask and has a pit of poisonous snakes right in the middle of his living room.  The great Bolo Yeung is part of our evil gang.   A very racist depiction of a black man shows up about halfway through the movie and has one very memorable line of "I knows dat dey keeps dat snake pearl hidden dere" before falling into the snake pit like a jackass.  There's also a couple of white guys that suck at kung fu to even out the racism scales a bit.  An ape, or a guy in an ape suit if you wanna be technical, helps out the princess of the snake people with his martial arts and acrobatic skills and lots of people get chop-sockied to death.  This ones just wacky enough to separate itself  from some of the more boring kung fu flicks of the past.  
 I wonder what year they stopped making these Bruce Lee rip-off films and if anyone anywhere was ever fooled into thinking the real Bruce would show up in any of them.  AKA BRUCE LI IN NEW GUINEA, LAST FIST OF FURY and BRUCE LEE IN SNAKE ISLAND


Monday, January 28, 2013


 After EASY RIDER was a big hit there came a whole slew of these outlaw biker flicks and many of them, like this one here, had an all-star cast.  Cameron Mitchell is our main main, not looking nearly as bloated as I'm used to seeing him, as a fellow who runs across some bikers led by Bruce Dern who he went to college with.  This doesn't stop the gang from beating the shit out of him just for the hell of it.  These are the kind of bikers that I don't think are necessarily evil but they don't really give a fuck about what they have to do to have a good time or a cheap thrill.  Dern is the only one of them who has any kind of conscience at all regarding his actions and this leads to some bickering and bike-racing on the beach.  Their disregard for decency  might eventually lead our gang of knucklehead hog-riders into the neighborhood of rape and murder as the movie goes on and things get more serious.  Diane Ladd, who is in a few of these biker flicks and later on the mom in WILD AT HEART, is Cameron's lady friend and the object of Jack Nicholson's molesting hands and tongue.  Nicholson is pretty awesome here as a sleazeball in awesome stripey-pants who will fuck over his best friend for a thrill.  Harry Dean Stanton is also part of the gang in a stupid-looking suit and pork-pie hat.  While overall this film teases a lot more violence than you actually get onscreen(you mostly just get a lot of general mayhem and anarchy) it's still a neat little low-budget, time-capsule, throwback, drive-in semi-classic that would play all the time on TV back when I was a kid and broadcast TV had a reason to exist.    
 This was actually filmed in '67 and not released until after EASY RIDER to cash in on the Nicholson connection.

“With the unbridled passion of men possessed, they blasted their way through all opposition in a campaign of sexual self-indulgence that left nothing but burned-out shells of humanity strewn in their path.”:

Sunday, January 27, 2013


 A young Jack Nicholson stars here as a beatniky leader of a gang of juvenile delinquents.  He spends his time racing hot-rods, playing chicken with cars(and a motorcycle cop who he ends up killing), dumping an older married woman who's been having an affair with him and being an all around bully(or "top stud" as he's called over and over) to his gang of followers.  It all ends in tragedy and heartbreak and old people have their view of the horror of young people reinforced once again.  This is a pretty standard J.D. film that coulda came out in the 50's and probably seemed dated a few years after it was released.  Some of the weird slang is cool to hear today though.       
 Strangely enough I own this on a biker movie DVD triple feature disc and there's no bikes or bikers anywhere to be seen.    
 This is a black & white film but there's a newer colorized version of this titled VELOCITY which has some modern wraparound scenes added where a guy(who is supposed to be Nicholson) is talking about his youth and then it flashes back to the real movie.  I haven't seen that version but I've read that it's pretty awful. 


                                    "Think of what you can do with sausages"

 So apparently there's 13 of of these German Schoolgirl Report movies so I guess they were kinda popular and from what I see here they seem to be sexploitation flicks mixed with a mondo movie/documentary style.  So what you get is little silly sex vignettes inter-cut with German citizens being interviewed about their ideas on sex and a voice-over narrative explaining what all these sexual hijinks might mean to society.  I suppose this was all a lot more shocking when it originally was released and I think overall I'm more of a fan of the more comedic and less academic type German soft-core sex flicks but I do like it's strong stance on truth which I'm personally a big fan of and naturally you still get tons of naked boobs and loads of Germanic Eurobush so that's nice.  Also many of the girls depicted are supposed to be playing schoolgirls under the age of 18 and you get a clip of some horses fucking so that might make you feel like more of a pervert while watching which might be a plus for some viewers.  It also reinforces the idea that Europe is a much more open, less puritanical place than America even back some 40 years ago.  Perv on!
 AKA THE SCHOOL GIRLS and CONFESSIONS OF A SIXTH FORM GIRL(this is the U.K. title and I have no idea what the hell it means??)


                            "The fellow is good at kung fu.  Who is he actually?"

 I'd heard comedian Joey Diaz rave about this movie recently, under it's U.S. release title KARADO: THE HONG KONG CAT, along with all the Bruce Lee classics and since he's never steered me wrong before I figured I would check it out.  Apparently it was a very inventive idea back in the early 70's to put metal tips on your nun-chucks  and that's what our hero does here.  While this isn't the most original movie you could see I suppose it's decent enough in this genre.  Of course the Bruce Lee classics from this era are way superior in comparison.  This is your basic revenge tale that puts super-long fight scenes in place of an actual plot.  Strangely a few characters seem to have been dubbed by Grover from Sesame Street which seems like an odd choice for a voice-over guy.  You get the great Chinese Hercules himself, Bolo Yeung, here in a sweet 70's mustache and perfectly parted hair as our bad guy and a lot of fighting on a boat.  Only really recommended for hardcore kung fu nuts.  AKA KARADO: THE KUNG FU FLASH and SUPERIOR YOUNGSTER

Saturday, January 26, 2013


 Similar to the movies of Park Chan-Wook, this Korean horror/serial-killer movie is a really well done and well-acted film about what happens when revenge becomes all-consuming and turns a victim of a crime into what may be the equal force of evil in combating it.  It features Choi Min-Sik(who was also the titular star of Chan-Wook's OLDBOY) as our psychopathic/rapist/all-around deviant fellow and he's perfectly creepy in that role.  While I wouldn't say this is as good as Chan-Wook's films I think it works great as a revenge story that mixes horror elements along with more standard Hong Kong-style action bits and is worth a watch.  I also felt that this plays like a great bloody Asian version of The Punisher story but with more knives and kung fu and less guns.
 The Korean censors made director Kim Jee-Won cut about 10 minutes of gore footage from this to get a release and this theatrical version is the one I've seen.  A longer cut played at festivals and is supposed to be super graphic but that would bring the total run-time up to over 2 and a half hours which seems a little excessive for a story that I think could have played out in a shorter form pretty easily.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


 While this doesn't top 1975's BARBED WIRE DOLLS as my favorite Jess Franco-directed women in prison flick, it is a pretty similar adventure in the land of ultra-sleazy sex and violence behind bars in South America.  Loaded wall to wall with full nudity, our main female prisoners here don't even get prison outfits of any sort.   There's a wicked lady warden in the mold of ILSA and Howard Vernon as a crazy, torture-happy doctor.  You get a hamster shoved into a vagina, a rhino horn in an ass and other abuses to sensitive female private parts.  Rape, of the living and dead, happens and there's a completely nihilistic ending which is usually my favorite type of ending.   
 Allegedly one of the actresses here, Susan Hemingway, was under 18 when this was filmed which caused this movie to be banned in England.  From what info I can find she was actually most likely 18 at the time of shooting but I guess the censors in England didn't bother finding that out and just went by her young looks.  Because of this some versions have scenes featuring Hemingway deleted.  AKA TROPICAL INFERNO and ESCAPE FROM THE ISLAND OF DEATH

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


 "there are only two kinds of men: the righteous, who think they are sinners; and the sinners, who think they are righteous."

 A great little slice of Euro-horror from Spain made by Eugenio Martin, who also did the great HORROR EXPRESS.  This film concerns a couple of self-righteous religious wackos running a hotel who accidentally kill a gal they deem to be a whore because she's committing the unpardonable sin of sunbathing in a bathing suit.  Then they decide they are the avenging hand of god and go on a kill-crazy, slut-snuffing spree.  One of their victims' sisters show up and people start getting suspicious about all these missing persons.
 Great acting, blood, boobs and great atmospheric eurotrash chills make this one worth checking out.  I'm kinda surprised that it's not better known but that might be due to it's kinda bland titles.  AKA IT HAPPENED AT NIGHTMARE INN

Monday, January 21, 2013


 The great thing about spaghetti-westerns is that they're generally not the same as old time boring American westerns.  So when you get one like this here that's basically in the same exact mold as a typical U.S. western it always feels like a bit of a letdown to me.  This one covers all the bases and you get the expected nasty Mexican bandits, including the great Fernando Sancho who's always good in the role as the scummy bandit here as our head bad guy.  In the role of revenge-seeking hero we get Cameron Mitchell as a slowly-going-blind gunslinger and he does a decent enough job but overall you're probably better off watching director Sergio Corbucci's later films(including one of the best Eurowesterns ever in DJANGO) for a better time.



 This is a weird one.  A tale of cave-women who are sorta history's first feminists, except this is the 50's so the feminist message gets a little skewed when they encounter some hunky cave-fellows.  They take these beefcakes hostage and boss them around so it all seems like some sorta weird fetish movie for guys who wanted to submit to ladies in skimpy loincloths.  The other strange thing is the whole movie has people talking in silly caveman-talk while a narrator tells use what the hell is going on.  There's a giant prehistoric man who fights a tiger, another guy who wrestles a black panther and at one point the monster bird from THE GIANT CLAW shows up.  It's all shot in primitive color and while it's not a particularly exciting movie it's at least watchable once as a weird curiosity piece.

This was re-released as THE VIRGIN GODDESS but I guess they didn't bother with the color:

Sunday, January 20, 2013


 Caught an awesome theatrical showing of this last night hosted by sleaze/rockabilly wild-man Johnny Legend.  Although it doesn't feature the great Santo or Blue Demon this one is probably my favorite of the lucha-libre/horror movies from Mexico.  It covers all three bases as far as blood, breasts & beasts go.  You get a half-man/ half-gorilla going around tearing the clothes off women, attempting rape and also tearing people apart with his bare hands.  Heads roll, eyes roll and there's some masked lady wrasslin' to break up this "orgy of terror".  Thanks to director Rene Cardona, who is basically just remaking his earlier film DOCTOR OF DOOM, this piles up the 70's blood and crazy over-the-top gore, including real scenes of some heart surgery, enough to make fans of later splatter-filled movies happy.  Thank you Mexico!

Thursday, January 17, 2013


 Italian shlock-master Bruno Mattei here gets the brilliant idea of combining the post-apocalypse action film with the animals-gone-nutso horror flick.  While not a great example of either genre it at least has enough goofy moments to make for a fun, head-scratchingly dumb watch.
 The plot involves a biker gang roaming around after the holocaust who take shelter in a deserted scientists lab that is full of nasty rodents that occasionally fly into people's faces and eat them.  Most of the rat attack scenes involve someone off-screen dumping a bucket full of rats on someone's head, which I find pretty humorous.  One of the stranger scenes is when one of our gang members gets attacked by rats and instead of trying to help the poor guy they figure it's best to first shoot him with a flame-thrower and then, after a few minutes of being burned alive, he's finally put out of his misery with a gunshot.  It's all topped off with a ridiculous ending and you also get the hooker gal from DEMONS, Geretta Geretta, as what appears to be a mentally-challenged black chick ingeniously named Chocolate, then again pretty much every character in this acts like a complete retard and that might be it's biggest charm.  AKA BLOOD KILL and THE RIFFS III(in Germany this is the 3rd part of the Bronx Warriors saga following 1990: BRONX WARRIORS and ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX)


Wednesday, January 16, 2013


 A lot of porn documentaries take a strong anti or pro stance on their subject matter.  This one thankfully, for the most part, sidesteps that and the director immerses himself in the subject, even going so far as acting as a cameraman for a fuck flick.  It's a pretty decent little doc going from the more legit to the ultra-sleazy questionable sides of the business and the people that represent those two extremes.  It remains interesting throughout even if it was made during an era when porn wasn't all that interesting to watch and most of the actors and actresses in these things, besides Jeana Fine, are kinda generic and forgettable.  Of course this was filmed back in the 90's and in the years since then the massive amounts of money being generated by adult films, that's talked about, has dwindled down quite a bit thanks to the internet and free tube sites.
 My favorite bit in this thing is the opening where some cool clips from a 70's adult film titled CARNAL ENCOUNTERS OF THE BAREST KIND play and that looks like something I'll be seeking out.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


 This giant spider eats folks in a small town.  They probably coulda called this "a small hick town vs. the spider" but that's not nearly exploitative enough.  The spider is just a super-imposed tarantula and doesn't have the cool skull head promised on some of the cooler movie posters.  This one is a about as basic as these giant bug movies come.  Not too much is really explained, all the high-school students look way too old as usual from this era and we learn that rock n roll music helps spiders come back to life.  Also they make silly screaming noises as they attack random people.  It's obviously cashing in on the earlier and better TARANTULA but it's still an OK stupid watch in it's own right.  The good thing about these 50's monster flicks is that most of them are only around an hour long or so and you don't really have time to get very bored before they figure out some way to blow the creature up.  AKA THE SPIDER
 This was remade in 2001 by Showtime for cable TV but I'm sure that doesn't have any of the campy appeal of the original.

Saturday, January 12, 2013


 Giuliano Gemma stars in this spaghetti-western about a plot to assassinate the president.  Since we're in the old west the president is supposed to be James Garfield but since this was made in the late 60's it's more of a commentary on John Kennedy's murder.  It gets very bogged down in political talk, conspiracy theories, cover ups and all types of other things that make for a boring movie.  There is a black hero character which is pretty rare in these types of films and a message of racial equality and all that.  Probably my favorite thing about this whole film is the cool soundtrack by Luis Bacalov but besides that I would say this one's not the most memorable.  AKA A BULLET FOR THE PRESIDENT


 While it's not really fair to compare director Lamberto Bava's giallos to the masterpieces of his father I think he made a few pretty decent little entertaining murder mystery films in his own right. This one concerns a film composer who gets caught up in a murder mystery while working on a horror film. There's a film within the film(featuring big-headed Bob, the little boy from HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY) which gives you clues to the story and a few twists along the way. The cast is pretty small so figuring out exactly who the killer is might not be impossible but they at least make it a bit of a challenge. Slashingly bloody death scenes and some creepy vibes makes this one a solid watch.
 This was originally supposed to be a made-for-TV deal but Bava went a little overboard in the violence department(which I think is a big plus!) so it got a theatrical run in Italy.


 Umberto Lenzi, best know to gorehounds as the director of CANNIBAL FEROX, delves into the giallo genre here with a mystery tale full of murder and bared euro-nipples. This one's definitely no classic since most of the run time is taken up with endless talking and tons of red-herrings. There's so many suspects here that it probably would have been difficult to pick out the actual killer if Lenzi wasn't nice enough to point him out in a few shots. There are a few decent kills including a driller-killer scene and a lady getting her head bashed in and some artistic touches here and there but that's counter-balanced with a super non-climactic ending and an overly convoluted plot. Overall I found this one to be a real snoozer with nowhere near the Bava or Argento level of mastery.


 Experimental/artsy Director Koji Wakamatsu takes the Japanese pinky violence film and mixes it up with a film-noir-ish gangster flick and comes up with an interesting genre-blending experience. While I coulda done with less artistic pretense and more straight forward sleazy violence, more typical in Japanese exploitation cinema at the time, this film offers up equals parts art-film style and low-brow spectacle which would probably appeal to fans of either. We switch from black & white to color intermittently, there's lots of Japanese nudity and you get the standard Yakuza antics. Like in most of these pink films women don't get treated very well but ultimately are shown to be stronger and smarter in most ways then their male oppressors which I think is an interesting commentary on Asian society in general.  A good watch that you have to at least appreciate for it's blending of cinematic forms if not for the bondage and perky nipples on display.

NAKED BULLET (Kôji Wakamatsu, 1969) from Spectacle Theater on Vimeo.

Thursday, January 10, 2013


  THE BRAINIAC, while not the most logical film in the world,  is probably my favorite Mexican horror monster.  With his ugly, bulbous, pulsating head, lobster-claw hands and long forked tongue, which he uses to suck the brains out of his victims, this guy is hard to beat in the ridiculous creature category.  He sorta reminds me of THE FLY mostly due to his gigantic head, but a way cooler, more gross version of THE FLY.
 The story starts out back in the inquisition days where some evil Satanic-type of baron gets burned at the stake.  Instead of being barbecued alive he decides to use his magical devil powers to jump aboard a passing comet and come back to Earth 300 years later and wreak vengeance on his persecutors ancestors.  Luckily they all still live in the same town, they're all friends and some of them even look exactly the same which makes thing very convenient for this brain-sucking freak.  While the basic plot of this has been used quiet a few times in horror cinema they throw enough strange ideas into this one that I find it a fun ride.  It's never really explained how the baron gets this new monster appearance that he can morph in and out of at will or even how the hell he keeps himself alive in outer space for 300 years, or why he enjoys chowing on brains(he even keeps a dish of extra brains in a chest for some late-night snacking) but these are just things you have to accept.  Equal parts disgusting horror film and goofy-ass old time monster on the loose epic this, to me, is essential crazy Mexploitation trash cinema.  AKA BARON OF TERROR

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


 If you took the movie TAXI DRIVER and ramped up the Vietnam angle, made it extra gory, threw in a bunch of 'Nam flashbacks, the baby from ERASERHEAD, junkies, suicides, murders and made the whole thing even more nihilistic-feeling you would get something like this.  Better known under it's edited-down title of COMBAT SHOCK, this is the story of a crazy, screwed up vet who lives a shitty, seemingly hopeless existence, with his awful, nagging, fat wife and deformed, silly-putty-looking baby.  Despite the terrible acting it's done in a pretty realistic fashion(except for one completely absurd scene of a junkie whose blood-flow defies the laws of science) and in a very guerrilla-film making style that non-snobby cinema lovers should appreciate.  It also comments on the lower rungs of society in a way most films wouldn't ever care about doing.
 This film probably would have been a bit more of a success if not for it's misleading ad-campaign(thanks to Troma) which tried to fool people into thinking it was another big 80's war flick which it's pretty far from.  Then again this is overall a pretty big downer of a film viewing experience, not suitable for the mass of imbecilic, happy-faced drones that populate the majority of audiences.

Sunday, January 6, 2013


 This was a fun tale of Mexican masked wrestling hero Santo(called Saint in the dubbed print that I watched). In this one he takes on a doctor(actually a doctor of art, whatever the hell that is?) who keeps models locked up in his basement that he gets sick so he can experiment on them. I wasn't exactly sure what the end result was for these experiments but the doc seemed to be really into his work so it must have been important enough. He also keeps an acid pool in the sub-basement accessible by a fun slide where he throws away dead ladies bodies.   Santo gets an unmasked partner here, a fellow named Paul, who has a sweet 70's moustache and some keen fighting skills. Together they get into some James Bond-esque adventures. Santo gets into a fight in a public toilet wearing socks with no shoes on which I find very humorous and slightly disgusting.  While there's no monsters or supernatural elements in this film I think it works fine in it's slightly more realistic super secret agent approach.  AKA SANTO STRIKES AGAIN

Saturday, January 5, 2013


 While there are a zillion kung fu movies that deal with a student getting revenge for the murder of their teacher this one is up there with the best.  The reason for this, of course, is that it stars, the all-time king of kung fu, Bruce Lee.  Originally titled FIST OF FURY back in Hong Kong where it was made, that title was used here in the U.S. for Bruce's first film and this became THE CHINESE CONNECTION.  Set sometime before World War II you get Japanese evil doers(like in so many movies like this), an evil Russian strongman(played by Lee's real life bodyguard at the time), a stripper and lots of racism against Chinese folks.  Lee is great as a proud man who faces up to his oppressors using nunchakus and his crazy fast fists and flying feet.  There's a couple of iconic moments in this film, one being where Lee smashes a "NO DOGS OR CHINESE ALLOWED" sign and the other being the ending(this film isn't afraid to end on what is not exactly a joyous ending that's true to the character in the movie).  This really helped cement the legend of Bruce everywhere and make kung fu a huge fad through the 1970's in America.  It's a shame he only made four amazing movies before he died and he's yet to really be replaced.  I imagine the world may have been a different place if Lee lived or he may have just went on to become a boring mainstream star.  Who knows, but I think it would have at least been interesting to see. AKA THE IRON HAND

Thursday, January 3, 2013


 A goofy ass CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON-rip-off monster kills kids on the beach by scratching their faces, kids surf and frolic, a lion puppet sings a song called "Monster In The Surf"(the TV version of this was retitled MONSTER FROM THE SURF) and you get a SCOOBY-DOO ending where the shitty-looking monster suit is given a semi-explanation.  This movie feels like a 50's monster flick with a dash of Frankie & Annette BEACH PARTY thrown in along with a subplot about a cheating wife and an overbearing dad.  It's all really as dumb you would expect but worth a look if you dig extra cheesy monster thrills.  AKA SURF TERROR  For a similar but better beach/monster mash-up check out THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


"You're all the same, the lot of you, with your long hair and faggot clothes. Drugs, sex, every sort of filth. And you hate the police, don't you?"

It's kind of surprising that there weren't more imitations of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD in Italy  back in the 70's like there were in the 80's after DAWN OF THE DEAD but besides this Spanish/Italian co-production there weren't really any that I can recall off the top of my head.  What, to me, is so great about this film is that it takes the basic premise of NIGHT throws in euro-gore, tits, hippies and asshole cops and it's all in full color!  There's also the shock ending(which I guess isn't super shocking if you've seen NIGHT) and they even give a somewhat plausible explanation as to why the dead are returning to life and munching on the internal organs of the living.  The more times I watch this one the higher I elevate it in my mind to where I now put this up there alongside Romero's films and definitely above the later 80's Italian zombie flicks(at least as far as actual good film-making goes some of the others obviously win in the nutso/insane splatterfest category).  AKA's= THE LIVING DEAD AT THE MANCHESTER MORGUE, BREAKFAST AT THE MANCHESTER MORGUE(not exactly the scariest title ever!) & DON'T OPEN THE WINDOW

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Tuesday, January 1, 2013


                                                "Attack Dickie attack!"

 Lucio Fulci goes balls out with the gore in this Italian splatter classic.  It's basically a highlight reel for the special FX work of Gianetto de Rossi(that ranges from amazing to terrible) strung together with a really stupid plot about a woman buying an old hotel in Louisiana that happens to be right over one of the doorways to hell(alternate edited version title=SEVEN DOORS OF DEATH).  There's tons of blood, a dog who fights zombies, a couple of face meltings, an annoying little girl, a guy gets crucified, the world's dumbest spider attack scene where the fakest looking tarantulas ever rip a guys face apart using big chomping pincers, star David Warbeck loads his gun by shoving bullets down the barrel and I think the apocalypse happens.  Besides all this stupidity I find this movie totally enjoyable due to the obvious glee in which Fulci presents everything also the insane vibe of all this chaos makes for an awesome ride.  A necessity for true gore-hounds.
 I've read a few places where this was supposed to be a sequel to GATES OF HELL but there's really no direct connection besides a similar theme and zombies shoe-horned into both.