/* Scroll box by BloggerSentral.com START */ Html2 .widget-content { height: 200px; overflow: auto; } /* Scroll box END */

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Monday, November 27, 2017


 So this Spanish production takes what might be the thinnest idea for a plot ever about a group of teenagers, played by people older than that of course, spending the night in a creepy old school-building and make it into a slasher movie with the great Spanish horror star Paul Naschy playing the killer. That in itself might not horrible but then they throw in a bunch of paranormal/ghost bullshit and that really helps drag things down. In the middle of the movie they flashback to the 70s where it's just a regular gory slasher flick and I can't help but think just that woulda been a better film. Also they forgot to come up with any sort of ending so things just end abruptly with no real explanation. Not Naschy's finest but he does a decent enough job with what he's given to do. For prime Naschy stick with his 70s werewolf opuses.

Sunday, November 26, 2017


 Right off the bat this movie is lying to me since this was filmed in Canada and not the U.S. They do manage to make Toronto look pretty grimy though so if we just ignore a couple of Canadian accents and all the knitted hats(tooks?) I guess we could pretend this is some big sleazy American city. Overall it's kind-of a middle-of-the-road slasher being that it's not the worst and certainly not the best of the genre. The plot all revolves around strippers/prostitutes getting offed so there's an over-abundance of nudity which is a plus. Unfortunately nothing exceptional, besides it's sleazy aura, really stands out about this and ultimately it's a pretty forgettable experience that is only recommended to slasher fanatics or Canadian horror-completists.

                                           The ol' stalk & slash!:

Cheap-o VHS goodness!:

Tuesday, November 21, 2017


  This one is a sort-of mix of a gangster flick, an action movie and a touch of kung-fu on the side. Of course it's mainly a mobster movie with Jack Palance as MISTER SCARFACE (which is also the more common title of this). Who heads of a crime organization that goes up against one headed by Edmund Purdom. Palance is not actually the star though, even though he has top-billing. Our main character (Harry Baer) is a young mobster who goes around collecting money and throwing flying kicks when he has to. I would probably rate this film higher if it had more Palance in it or if it wasn't directed by Fernando Di Leo, whose "Milano trilogy" is an example of some of the best Eurocrime films out there so I expected more. Also it gets a bit too action-y in spots which may not be a bad thing if you just want to see a somewhat silly action flick. AKA THE BIG BOSS and BLOOD AND BULLETS

Saturday, November 18, 2017


 Fairly generic slasher flick here. It contains all the standard elements including blood, nudity(boobs and full bush on display) and a half-assed mystery involving a childhood trauma. There's also a really wonky ending that throws a twist in for the hell of it. Daphne Zuniga, who was also in the similar THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD, is our main gal in distress and she would go on to become famous for stupid TV-shows like MELROSE PLACE. Clu Gulager from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD shows up for a bit. A new wave band called Refugee? plays a party scene where a guy dresses up like a giant dick and balls but besides them the music in this thing is pretty irritating. Only recommended to slasher completists or, I guess, big Daphne Zuniga fans.

                                           INICIACION SATANICA is a way cooler title!:

Tuesday, November 14, 2017


  I'd seen the original THEY CALL ME BRUCE? at some point in the 80s but I don't remember much about it besides that it was mildly entertaining at the time, and even though I don't remember much about the first film I'm pretty sure it wasn't as bad as this crappy sequel. They waited 5 years and the best they could come up with is basically a shitty version of CROCODILE DUNDEE with an Asian man instead of an Australian. Then they spoof ROCKY with some bad fight scenes as Bruce fights Ogre(Donald Gibb) from REVENGE OF THE NERDS. Pretty yawn inducing.
 Star Johnny Yune would give up trying to make it in America shortly after this and end up being a late-night TV talk-show host in Korea.
 Notable co-stars and cameos in this include Robert 'BENSON' Guillaume, John's little brother Joey Travolta and Pat Paulsen who shows up in a bunch of dumb 80s comedies most memorably, to me anyway, NIGHT PATROL.

Monday, November 13, 2017

C.H.U.D. II: BUD THE CHUD (1989)

 The first C.H.U.D. was a pretty decent 80s monster flick. This one is a stupid piece of crap comedy. It also changes the monsters into just being regular zombies who get into slap-stick-filled adventures. Maybe the only good thing going for this is that it has a bunch of weird cameos from people like Rich Hall from NOT NECESSARILY THE NEWS, Norman "Mr. Roper" Fell, June Lockhart from LOST IN SPACE, Mick Jagger's ex-wife Bianca Jagger, Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund, Robert Vaughn from THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. and more but even all this talent is wasted here and I personally felt embarrassed for everyone involved. It all plays like an 80s teen-sex-comedy except without any sex or nudity and not very much in the way of anything all that funny either so what you're left with is a kind of retarded zombie flick where dumb stuff happens constantly. A shameful scam but I'm sure there's some 80s-obsessed freaks that may enjoy it on some level.

             The monsters on this video cover are from the 1st movie and not in this one at all!:

Sunday, November 12, 2017


This one is probably better known as ASSIGNMENT TERROR. Calling it DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN is pretty dumb since those 2 monsters never fight and are working on the same team and there is a crappy Al Adamson film under that title and also a Jess Franco film known as such. THE WOLFMAN VS. FRANKENSTEIN woulda made more sense since that actually happens but weird aka's is pretty standard for Paul Naschy werewolf flicks. This is the 2nd(or 3rd if you count the unobtainable/uncompleted? NIGHTS OF THE WOLF-MAN) Naschy flick as Waldemar Daninsky and one of the few ones that actually works as a sequel. The plot revolves around a mad-scientist-type, played by Michael Rennie from the classic THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, and just like in that movie he's actually an alien but instead of trying to warn the Earth about its impending doom here he's actively trying to bring that about by re-animating various monsters including a mummy, a vampire, a Frankenstein-monster(though he's called the Faranksalan-monster to avoid copyright charges?) and, of course, Naschy's Wolf-Man. Instead of conquering the planet though they all seem to just hang out in this old castle. It's a pretty convoluted(part sci-fi/part-horror) mess of a movie that's closer in plot to something like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE than any of the classic Universal films it's attempting to mimic but for monster fans like myself it's still a great wacky watch and where else do you get go-go dancers mixed into your monster-mash?.

Known in Mexico as OPERATION TERROR!:

C.H.U.D. (1984)

 C.H.U.D., or Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers for long, is a film I sometimes think I give higher praise than it maybe deserves because it was made in the 1980s and it's actually a monster movie that isn't a comedy at all. Sure while it is a pretty silly plot about mutated cannibal creatures living under New York City it's done really well and there's not much to complain about besides some points in the action where it gets a little talky and slows down. There's also a lack of any real gore or any nudity to speak of but the acting is on-point and the main-attraction, the C.H.U.D.'s themselves look pretty impressive even when they're not lurking in the shadows. Also it's set in NYC back when it was still a grimy, sleazy location so that always gets extra-credit in my book.
 John Goodman from the ROSEANNE show appears for a tiny bit before becoming C.H.U.D.-chow.
 There was one sequel to this 5 years later where they threw the idea of being serious completely out the window and went with almost a straight-ahead comedy deal so, of course, it sucks.

                                                            Ol' rubber-neck CHUD!:

German 'PANIK' poster:


 One of the weirdest things I've seen in a while. This is a super artsy-fartsy mess of a movie that contains two plots, one being pro-communism?, I think?, and the other I'm guessing is all about the joys of the anarchist life? It starts off with an odd beauty pageant for virgin ladies then John Vernon shows up and pulls out his golden penis and pisses on the winner. From there things just get weirder as a whole slew of disgusting things happen that don't make any sense. There's simulated castration, lots of vomit, guys shitting on plates, guys pissing into each others mouths, stripping in front of little boys, bloody murder in a bunch of sugar and it all ends up with a lady rolling around in chocolate. The whole thing reminds me of a somewhat gentler, not as mean-spirited version of SALO, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM by Pasolini which hadn't actually been released yet(and interestingly he was responsible for the Italian-dub of this film so perhaps it was inspirational for him). Something you watch once, that is if you're into disgusting French art-flicks and can deal with poop hijinks etc., just to say you experienced it.

                           I guess Marxists philosophies that lead to mass murders is sweet ??:

Sunday, November 5, 2017


 I've been working my way through the classic Universal Mummy boxset and figured this would be pretty much the same as the last one, and while it is in many ways they at least spice things up a bit with the inclusion of John Carradine as our main villain here who controls Lon Chaney Jr. as the titular Mummy named Kharis who isn't really a ghost but just your standard reincarnated mummy-man. and a pretty wonky ending that I don't mean to spoil but it involves the mummy kinda winning in the end which is pretty rare in these. Of course the story deals with the mummy's quest for his soulmate, as it often does, which in this case is reincarnated into an Egyptian lady(Ramsay Ames) who doesn't really look very Egyptian to me but what do I know?. Things take a pretty nihilistic turn by the end which is pretty shocking for 1944 and makes this entry stand out. Chaney would be back for the next and final film in the Kharis saga, THE MUMMY'S CURSE, rushed out the same year.


 Being a child of the 70s it was kind of the law that you had to be into Star Wars and Kiss, unless you were some kinda weird mutant kid, so I first saw this film when it originally aired  on TV under the KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK title and I was 7 years old which is really the perfect age to watch this since the plot is basically a SCOOBY-DOO episode done live-action and with rock n' roll. Getting to see it again last night with a crowd of Kiss fans after seeing a Kiss cover band play  may have been a bit less exciting but it now has that nostalgic kitschy-value going for it. The story concerns a mad-doctor-type who designs realistic robots for an amusement park that Kiss is giving some big shows at. The band, I believe, is taken from their Marvel Comics incarnation because they possess special talismans that give each of them magical powers and kung-fu abilities that they use to battle a variety of robot assailants including a fake-Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman and a whole army of white sorta-Ape/sorta-Lion faced creatures. Very dumb fun that is vastly helped by actually liking Kiss' music or being 7 years old in 1978 or maybe a few beers.