SHAITANI DRACULA (2006)

 This super low-budget Indian horror film starts out with Dracula(an Indian guy with big fake plastic fangs) in a cowboy hat espousing his personal greatness. From there we get the James Bond theme song and a bunch of Indian folks wandering around the woods getting chased by various random monsters(apparently these are past victims of Dracula cursed to roam the woods forever). It all plays out like some strange far-eastern version of SCOOBY-DOO except your average SCOOBY-DOO episodes had more of a plot to them as well as more of a sense of realism. The editing here is super bizarre as we jump from random scene to random scene and having intermittent subtitles on the print of I viewed only added to the mind-boggling confusion on display. The high-point for me was all the hot pants and short-skirt-wearing ladies but unfortunately, because this is India we get no actual bare breasts, but the camera does linger uncomfortably long on ass-shots which is a nice gesture. The monsters that show up here are quite the collection of ridiculous things. They all consist of people in dollar store rubber Halloween masks that tend to fall off during the absurdly bad fight scenes. You get what might be the world's worst Wolfman suit which kinda looks more like a teddy-bear suit(you can really only tell he's a Wolfman because of the howling wolf sounds he makes), a fat guy in a skeleton suit, a few Lady Draculas, a Wolf-Lady, a sorta-Charles Manson-looking hairy guy and some red-faced zombie/Frankenstein-type fellow amongst other nondescript generic ghouls. I did enjoy the use of crosses here as weapons to beat the monsters over the head with since their religious significance is probably not all that great in a country full of Hindus and Muslims.
 Amazingly enough for a film from India there's no big song and dance numbers here although at one point a music video does break out.
  It's hard to believe this movie was made in the year 2006. If this was an American film I would guess it was made around 1978 or so, just from the looks of things, but my cultural references might be a little off here.
 I've seen this film referenced as the worst film ever made which is a highly overused expression and not applicable here since there are about a billion shot-on-video pieces of crap that are way worse than this and way less watchable although there is a sorry lack of blood and I'm not even sure that anyone dies throughout the whole thing.
 All told this is a film only the most deranged film-goer with years of bad-movie viewing will probably be able to get through without their brain imploding from the illogical and repetitive shenanigans presented. I can't help but think the experience of viewing this would be torture for your average modern-day citizen but it gave me quite a few laughs and that's more than a lot of better made films can do.