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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Monday, February 17, 2014

KICK OR DIE (1987)

 This was released on VHS by AIP studios, but not the Roger Corman AIP. This is the crappy direct-to-video AIP company. I'm not sure if this particular title ever got any kind of a theatrical release but I doubt it was a very big release if it did. It's probably the whitest martial arts film I've ever seen with the exception of a couple of black thug characters. There are no Asians at all in this which seems strange to me while watching a kung fu flick but this was made in South Africa so I guess that explains it. The fighting might be some of the worst I've ever seen and the plot, involving this waitress who sings terrible songs and wants to be the next Madonna, is really stupid, but overall this isn't a complete waste of time. What saves it, besides the cool title, is that it features a rapist running around a college campus getting rapey and an absurd biker gang which were both very exciting. Plus I saw this in a theater with a crowd of kung fu fans who were very into it, which helps quite a bit. On the negative side the hero of this movie, Kevin Bernhardt, is a complete dorky nerd who drinks milk and is very hard to root for and the version that was shown looked like a blurry bootleg. Probably more negatives than positives with this one but if you can get a bunch of crazy martial arts fans with low standards together check it out. AKA NO HARD FEELINGS(they say this line a few times throughout the movie)

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