SIX SHE'S AND A HE (1963)

 Better known as LOVE GODDESSES OF BLOOD ISLAND this is the story of an astronaut(or maybe a fighter-pilot) who crash lands and ends up on an island of 6 sexy but bloodthirsty amazon women who do a lot of burlesque dancing and butchering men that displease them. In fact the majority of this less than an hour long feature is just gals shaking their hips along to jungle lounge music. Supposedly, this was originally 72 minutes long but there's a lot of missing footage. I don't think it actually effects what little bit of plot there is anyway though. The gore scenes are really what brought me to this pic in the first place since this(along with HG Lewis' classic gore films) is one of those rare examples of an early 60s movie that's not afraid to show graphic violence and rivers of blood. You get a guy who a friend of mine pointed out looks quite a bit like Alice from THE BRADY BUNCH(and I guess is supposed to be a Nazi) disemboweled and decapitated in the big highlight scene. There's also some spear-poking and eye-violence to top it all off. Overall not a great film but definitely worth a look as a curiosity piece. The only downside to this is that it sure coulda used a little nudity but I guess you can't have everything in 1963. AKA KISS ME BLOODY

This is scene that informed me that I needed to see this epic!:




On a great quadruple feature right in-between some HG Lewis blood-baths where it belongs!:

Ballyhoo!:

KING KONG ESCAPES (1967)

 A really ugly-faced version of King Kong takes on a goofy-ass Robot Kong who is controlled by an evil Dr. Who. The plot revolves around making these big apes dig up some precious element which is dumb. This is basically a Godzilla movie without Godzilla in it. It's also a sort-of sequel to KING KONG VS. GODZILLA though they never refer to that movie so maybe it's not. It was also produced by Rankin & Bass who did all those animated Christmas specials and stuff like MAD MONSTER PARTY and this movie was a tie-in to their KING KONG cartoon show which makes sense because this is a very cartoon-ish film. Mecha-Godzilla would show up a few years later which I assume was inspired by Mecha-Kong here. Good for a laugh if you're a big stupid monster fan.


Turkish style!:

INVITATION TO HELL (1984)

 Out of all the horror directors that have been given the label of "Masters of Horror" Wes Craven has always been my least favorite. I mean since the 70s the man never really entertained me with much of anything that he did. I know this puts me in the minority amongst horror-nerds but it is how I feel whenever I watch his stuff from the 80s and beyond. This here TV-movie is a great example of what a truly hacky director he really was. It stars Robert Urich, who I believe is primarily remembered for his television work and his acting style is very fit for those types of shows, as the dad of a very schmaltzy BRADY BUNCH-ish family that includes Punky Brewster(Soleil Moon Frye). He gets a job working for this creepy company headed by Susan Lucci, from that ALL MY CHILDREN soap opera, who may or may not be the devil and bad things start happening. The movie plays out like a VALLEY OF THE DOLLS/INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS mash-up and Kevin McCarthy even shows up as Urich's boss to drive this comparison to the later film home. Also of note(to me anyway) is the appearance of Nicholas Worth, who was the killer from the slasher semi-classic DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE as the big tough-guy sheriff here and Michael Berryman, from an actually good Wes Craven film in a tiny part. The insane ending involving a flame-throwing/laser-shooting astronaut suit worn by our hero as he descends into hell to rescue his family and the part where we get to see Punk Brewster doing a Linda Blair EXORCIST-imitation almost make this worth watching, it just takes a really long time to get to these ridiculous parts and you could probably find way better TV-movies from the 70s to watch instead.
 There's also a British film from 1982 with this same title which I have never seen but it look like it's at least got some gore in it so maybe it's decent?

SHAOLIN CHALLENGES NINJA (1978)

 Whereas most every other kung-fu movie (at least all the ones that were made in Hong Kong) portrays Japanese as evil, sneaky no-good-nicks and Chinese as mostly virtuous heroes this one has a bit of a more "we're all just humans, can't we all just get along"-message. It starts out with the tale of a Chinese man who gets married to a Japanese lady and then proceeds to argue with her all the time about whose culture is better. This half of the movie plays almost like a rom-com and is a little strange for a Shaw Brothers film. It does end up in more standard territory for most of the last half when some of your more typical bad-guy Japanese fellows show up to challenge our main character(Liu Chia-Hui aka Gordon Liu) to a duel. From there things do end up on a surprisingly tolerant note(Surprising to anyone who knows the volatile and brutal history between China and Japan anyway.)
 This one is worth a look for martial arts lovers who want something at least a little different than the standard.

 AKA CHALLENGE OF THE NINJA:

and HEROES OF THE EAST:

THE MACK (1973)

 It's a toss-up between this and SUPER FLY as to which is my all-time favorite blaxploitation flick. What I think makes these two special is that they delve deeper than your average urban action film from this era and touch on some societal issues. In this case the main struggle is between two brothers that represent a couple of different avenues black folks saw as paths out of poverty in the 70s. One is the way our main character Goldie(Max Julien) travels and involves the criminal life involving pimping whores and robbery. His brother prefers the militant approach in a clear reference to The Black Panthers. There's also the more usual evil white cops, evil Italian mobsters and fellow pimps that you can't always trust that show up to round things out. There's many great funky tunes, so many great lines and scenes in this. Many of those involve Richard Pryor who was clearly very messed up while acting in this but also involve some very realistic barbershop and Player's Ball bits which give this film a more documentary-like feeling to go along with it's epicness. A guy gets locked in a car's trunk with some nippy rats, a pimp gets dynamite shoved in his mouthpiece and a fatman od's on battery-acid! Overall this a great gritty classic that conveys a time and place that is long gone but will live on forever through these works.




Re-released as THE MACK AND HIS PACK:

Egyptian Mack!:

One of the all-time great double-features!:

THE FOUR RIDERS (1972)

 This kung fu flick directed by Shaw Brothers Studios' famous Chang Cheh(director of a bunch of the best Shaws' all-time classics) starts out a bit slow but is worth sticking around for when it gets down to bone-breaking action. It's definitely a unique setting for a martial arts extravaganza with it taking place in(and being partially filmed in) Korea right after the end of The Korean War involving some vets trying to get on with their lives. Gangsters, hookers and a groovy bar with go-go dancers apparently make this very difficult to do. The 4 main heroes here are supposed to represent the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse but not being a biblical scholar myself I'm not sure what significance that really has to the overall film. What I did appreciate though was the great fight scenes which included a guy getting his scalp ripped off, a prostitute taking a dart in the eyeball and lots more chopsocky action  sequences that take place in some unusual settings. AKA STRIKE 4 REVENGE and HELLFIGHTERS OF THE EAST

THE GATES OF HELL (1980)

 I had an opportunity to view this at the drive-in last weekend, the way God intended, and seeing it on the big screen under the stars is really the best way to view something like this. Like most of director Lucio Fulci's 80s gorefest this one doesn't really make much narrative sense and is more of a spectacle showing off some crazy fx. The most noteworthy of which, to me, is the intestines puking scene which I guess technically isn't even a special effect since they just had an actress vomit up some some sheep intestines which seems a pretty hardcore way to treat your actors. There's also a great super-realistic head-drilling bit, a hanging priest, the horror of being buried alive, bleeding eyeballs, maggot-rain and lots of zombie hijinks. While the movie is technically a zombie film you don't get the usual gut-munching and these ghouls prefer ripping heads apart which means they must be pretty friggin strong. I have read that Mr. Fulci didn't even want zombies in this at all and was going for a more supernatural horror vibe but the producers insisted so they could make this part of his "zombie" trilogy which includes the movies ZOMBIE and THE BEYOND even though they don't really have much connection besides these creatures appearing in them. While for my money HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY is Fulci's best from this period they are certainly all worth a look for gorehounds and 80s horror creeps. AKA CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD

 

Known in Germany as A ZOMBIE WAS HANGING ON THE BELL ROPE??

TRUCK TURNER (1974)

 From the amazing soundtrack, thanks to star Isaac Hayes, to the gun-fighting violence to sweet pimp attire and bums fighting in the streets this one is one of my all-time favorite examples of classic blaxploitation. Not only is Hayes great in the starring role Yaphet Kotto does a great job of being a bad-ass. It plays sort-of like a black version of STARSKY AND HUTCH except that show didn't come out yet so maybe it's the other way around. Also of note is STAR TREK's Lieutenant Uhura(Nichelle Nichols) as a take-no-shit Madam who also dons some great 70s threads ans Scatman Crothers as an old-timey pimp. It's too bad Mr. Hayes didn't go on to star in more of these types of films but I guess he gave us some classic tunes instead.


Nice Italian painted poster!:

Played on this classic double bill!: