THE PROTECTOR 2 (2013)

  There's obviously some really amazing stunt work in this performed by great stunt people. Unfortunately that is all undercut by the copious amounts of shitty CGI involved. One scene in particular, involving fighting in a room that's on fire, is so obviously computerized that it is impossible to overlook. 

 If you're a fan of rap group The Wu-Tang Clan though, RZA is the featured bad guy, so I guess that's something. 

The first film had a lot more to do with actually protecting elephants and I have to say I enjoyed that one more. 

AMITYVILLE HORROR: THE EVIL ESCAPES (1989)

  This is part 4 in the AMITYVILLE HORROR series and the only real connection to the other movies is that someone buys a haunted lamp from an ill-advised yard sale at the original house(after a gang of priests attempt to run the naughty spirits off) and sends it over to California to spook all-new folks including Patty Duke(best known to me as the star of her own TV show back in the 60s where she played identical cousins). This was made-for TV deal but there's one bloody scene, where a guy gets his hand chomped off by a garbage disposal, that I can't imagine was ever shown on TV anywhere. There's also a pretty gross death of a plumber due to some sewage overflow that seems questionably acceptable to the viewing masses as well. Besides these 2 standout gross-outs this is all really dumb. What else would you expect from a movie about an evil lamp? AKA AMITYVILL 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES

 The series would not get any better from here and there are quite a few more as I pointed out when I watched part 5. 

                                                   NBC world premiere!:

               

                  Video trailer that pretty much shows the whole movie!:

THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN (1956)

 So this one is just a straight-up western, complete with a good-guy and bad-guy competing for a gal, up until around the last half hour when a neat stop-motion dinosaur shows up to munch on a couple of folks. I read one review where they called this a cheap movie. That seems pretty absurd since it's in color, Cinemascope and I doubt that special FX work of this sort was quick or easy to do back in the 50s. This is obviously a big inspiration for THE VALLEY OF GWANGI so compared to that it might look cheap but that film had the big advantage of Ray Harryhausen FX work and it was made 13 years later. I have to give this one props for the effort even if it is quite inferior.  

There was a Spanish-language version of this shot at the same time.

Played at this California theater with some noir/drama about stolen cars from the same year:

Spanish poster:

French poster(THE MYSTERIOUS MOUNTAIN):

Mexican poster:

THE SCREAM OF DEATH (1959)

  Retitled THE LIVING COFFIN in English, this is one of those Mexican horror flicks that plays out more like a western mixed with a mystery. It takes the Mexican tale of "The Crying Woman"(the more definitive THE CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN was still a few years away from being made at this point) and strips away any of the supernatural elements and instead gives us a comedy-relief sidekick, shootouts quicksand and a barroom brawl. So, yeah, pretty much a western with just a sprinkling of spooky SCOOBY-DOO-ish elements included. There are quite a few Mexican horrors I would recommend before this including THE BRAINIAC and just about anything with luchadores and monsters. 

THE WILD WOMEN OF WONGO (1958)

  This seems like one of those nudie-cutie movies but since it was made before those existed there's not actually any nudity but just a bunch of girls running around in old-time bathing suits. The story concerns a couple of prehistoric tribes that have mating problems. The people of Wongo also worship an alligator that they call a dragon since this was filmed in Florida and alligators were plentiful. It's all pretty dumb but I suppose it was a bit more thrilling in 1958 when you could go to the movie theater and look at a tit and the idea of women being kickass was just a novelty. Kitschy campiness abounds though so if that turns you on give it a spin. 

This was also an equally stupid song by The Tubes!: 

EVIL TOWN (1987)

  Well this is a pretty big mess of a film. Apparently it was released in 1977 under the title of DR. SHAGETZ but then sometime in the mid 80s some new footage, featuring big 80s boobs!, was shot and added and it was given the EVIL TOWN moniker. I'm not sure if either version got much of a release before it ended up on video though. 

 The plot deals with a mad doctor(Dean Jagger, called Dr. Schaeffer and not Dr. Shagetz in the version I watched) who is searching for a way to keep people alive forever using pituitary gland juice or something of that nature. It jumps back and forth between some 70s campers and some 80s chicks being captured and raped by a couple of hicks. A very jarring mess but the boobs are nice to ogle. 

 One of the four directors credited on this, Mardi Rustam, went on to kinda/sorta remake this as EVILS OF THE NIGHT which I found way more entertaining. Oddly it was also released before EVIL TOWN on good ol' VHS. 

                                                                 

                                                                     Original recipe!:

CAGED WOMEN (1991)

 By the time this came out, in 1991, there must have been something like 100 movies that already used the title CAGED WOMEN so that gives you some idea of the creativity and originality involved in this Italian/ Portugese co-produced women-in-prison flick. Packed full of boobs and degradation though it certainly delivers what you'd expect from this sub-genre. Main gal, Pilar Orive, who seems to have had a very small acting career in the 90s, is certainly not hard to look at completely naked throughout most of the film. While nothing particularly exceptional happens here they do manage to jam in a THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME homage to bring it all to a close. Good watch for sleazoid completists. AKA CAGED WOMEN IN PURGATORY

 

             Known in France under the very unsexy title of HIGH SECURITY DISTRICT:

COMMANDO MENGELE "ANGEL OF DEATH" (1987)

  Eurocult director Jess Franco is not really known for his action thrillers and this BOYS FROM BRAZIL-inspired crapfest might be a good example of why. This film deals with some Nazi-hunters looking for the titular Mengele(who is not a commando at all but a doctor who likes to practice horrible experiments on his patients, played by Howard Vernon (who looks and acts nothing like the actual  fellow he's supposed to be portraying)) Jack Taylor is one of the hunters and the rest of the team includes a karate guy, an acrobat, an assassin and a guy who just likes hunting Nazis I think. The main experiments here seem to be Mengele breeding people with monkeys to make some wacky monkey-men. There's very little in the way of sexiness, horror or even much quality action so be prepared for mostly just stupidity.  

 Apparently Franco claimed to have not actually been the director here, but merely the original writer, and assigned the blame to Andrea(BURIAL GROUND) Bianchi. Most pseudonymous credits list the name Frank Drew White as director. It is packed with his usual cast though including even Lina Romay in a very small part. The reality seems to be that Franco started directing and gave up when the producers wanted more of an action flick than he intended.

                                                 Very actiony German video release!:

 

                                                            Mustachioed Polish video!:

Slayer's take on the tale of Mengele!: