EATEN ALIVE (1980)

 Not to be confused with the earlier Tobe Hooper killer crocodile flick, this is director Umberto Lenzi's second cannibal flick(his MAN FROM DEEP RIVER back in 1971 pretty much invented this subgenre). This is the one that combines a very Jim Jones-inspired cult in the jungle story with your more typical cannibal antics. Instead of The Amazon this time we're in New Guinea and Lenzi doesn't skimp on the gore. Of course a good portion of the most gory bits are all from other movies including DEEP RIVER, SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD and JUNGLE HOLOCAUST but hey it's the thought that counts! Porn star R. Bolla(Robert Kerman) stars and he would return in Lenzi's final cannibal epic CANNIBAL FEROX the following year. 

 It's hard to rank these classic cannibal movies in order of entertainment value since they're all pretty similar. This one is somewhere in the middle for me with FEROX and CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST being on the top though. 

AKA DOOMED TO DIE and THE EMERALD JUNGLE

Released on video as DOOMED TO DIE:

Released somewhere as simply CANIBAL:

HALLOWEEN (2018)

  Not only could they not bother to even give this an original name but they also neglected to come up with much of anything else original either. This is supposed to be a direct sequel to the original 1978 HALLOWEEN, ignoring all the sequels, but in essence it seems more like another crappy remake. The presence of original star Jamie Lee Curtis doesn't really help much to differentiate this from any of the numerous sequels that already exist. As terrible as Rob Zombie's remake was at least half of that film tried something new. This one deals a little bit with the trauma of being a final girl in a slasher flick but then basically just follows all the cliches of the genre. There is another chapter already released in what is supposed to be a trilogy but I don't think I really need to ever watch that.

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (2019)

  I remember seeing the first ZOMBIELAND in a theater way back around 13 years ago and finding it somewhat amusing. It was obviously more of a comedy than anything resembling a horror film. I'm not sure why this sequel took so long to appear but whatever. I feel pretty much the same way about this one except there seem to be a lot more annoying characters that show up making it a bit less amusing. My favorite part is probably the return of Bill Murray but they make you wait until the end credits for that. I guess check it out if scary movies are too intense for you. 

FRANKENSTEIN 1970 (1958)

  Boris Karloff returns one more time to the Frankenstein role. Instead of playing the monster though this time he's the last of the descendents of the original Frankenstein family of mad scientists. Of course he gets up to bulding a monster of his own with the help of some nuclear energy. The hulking creature starts out looking really cool with a skull head but then spends most of the rest of the movie all wrapped up like a mummy. There is a cool movie-within-a-movie opening scene, a sorta surprise ending and a weird disposal system for body parts that gives this film the classy distinction of being the first movie to feature the sound of a toilet flushing. I'm not exactly sure what was so futuristic about this movie that they had to make it set 12 years in the future except maybe having an atomic reactor in your laboratory. Clearly not up to the standards of any of the Universal classics this is still a decent watch for hardcore monster kids that have seen all the other Frank flicks.

Alternate Frech title = FRANKENSTEIN VERSUS THE INVISIBLE MAN(even though there is no Invisible man at all!):

MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR (1954)

   This 50s monster b-movie is the first one produced by Roger Corman. It's never really been one of my favorites due to most of it being really slow and talky but it does have a goofy one-eyed squid (that I guess in the movie is supposed to be a giant amoeba). Unfortunately we only really get to see this monster briefly up until the very end when he battles a one-man submarine to the death.Corman would go on to produce and direct a zillion more goofy movies and director Wyatt Ordung wrote the legendarily trashy ROBOT MONSTER a year before this so he's OK in my book.  

                  The VHS cover gave our monster another eye and a nifty deep-sea diving suit!:

DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974)

 Got a chance to catch this 70s classic in a  theater last night and it was a first time watch for me. Seeing it on an old scratchy film print was definitely the way to go. It's now one of my favorite killer kid flicks. Sorrell Brooke (Boss Hogg from TV's THE DUKES OF HAZZARD) is one of our main group of adults who run afoul of a group of murderous little tykes. You get a catfight, booze abuse, retard abuse, piranha in a bathtub, a terrible 70s blanket and future teen-idol Leif Garrett(also featuring his mom and little sister) partaking in some out-of-nowhere cross-dressing. Doesn't skimp on the violence though some of the slow-motion kill scenes are a bit gratuitous and annoying.(not as bad as THEY CALL HER ONE EYE though). Nudity, side-burns and even some J & B whiskey shows up. Good times! AKA PEOPLETOYS and re-released as THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL

P.S. Maybe the creepiest scene in this film is where little Leif and sis drag their real-life mom's naked corpse through the snow!

P.P.S. Instead of a "THE END" credit it says "THE BEGINNING" which seems to suggest a sequel which was never made.

                    Spoiler alert! This trailer pretty much shows ever death scene!: