THE DOLL SQUAD (1973)

 I've been watching(or re-watching) a few of director Ted V. Mikels' films since he died last week. This one I remember not being very good from my last viewing. It's basically a crappy version of the TV-show CHARLIE'S ANGELS except that it came first so I guess technically it may have been the inspiration for that show. Thanks for that then Mr. Ted. It is cool to see Tura Satana, and we get her first appearance here in skimpy stripper apparel which is pretty sweet! I guess one of my main gripes with this is that Tura is not the leader of the Doll Squad since she's clearly the baddest-assed of the chicks in this. The leader we do get(Francine York) does do an OK job in some interesting funky outfits. Overall it's a mildly amusing story of karate-using secret agent gals which maybe if it was edited better(perhaps down to TV-show length) and had a better soundtrack it would be a more fun watch. AKA SEDUCE AND DESTROY.

THE DOLL SQUAD was released on video as FEMALE MERCENARIES and the 1984 Euro-trash Sybil Danning movie THE PANTHER SQUAD was released as it's sequel even though it isn't. If you look closely you will notice there are some very fake made-up credits on the box.:

THE ASTRO ZOMBIES (1968)

 I've met director Ted V. Mikels before and he's a really cool guy with a sweet moustache. I kinda wish I enjoyed his film more. This one is cool almost solely because it's the other movie that the great Tura Satana stars in and just like in FASTER PUSSYCAT, KILL, KILL she kicks ass here. Executing her foes and really anyone who doesn't follow her orders. These parts are great but sadly there are many other long drawn-out bits where we get to watch John Carradine fiddle with knobs and perform experiments in his lab while his hunchbacked assistant snarls and leers constantly. In addition to this there's talky bits where the forces of good are trying to stop "The Astro Zombies"(really just one Astro Zombie) from murdering gals. It's almost like there are three movies going on and two of them are really dull. You do get some very small blood splatter during the kill scenes, a toy robot war and the plot does basically come together at the end. The biggest obvious flaw here, outside of the not so great acting and insane storyline, is the totally unconvincing day-for-night shots which make up a big portion of the movie towards the end. Scenes of people running around in super bright daylight while you hear crickets chirping and it's supposed to be midnight certainly spotlight Mr. Mikels shortcomings at creating any realism but the movie still has enough schlocky charm for me to recommend it to die-hard trash fans. Released on VHS as SPACE VAMPIRES.
 There were three sequels to this made in the 2000s by Ted V. but a. they're too new for me and b. they appear to have been shot digitally so I'm not in any hurry to watch those but if you're more adventurous than me give them a look.

Astro Punks!:

FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! (1965)

A blueprint for everything that was great about 70's sleaze cinema. Russ Meyer creates an amazing piece of violent sleaze-filled art that has rarely been equaled in the years since. The characters are all fleshed out and at the same time caricatures of almost super-heroic proportions. The best thing Meyer has done and he does it without any actual nudity, due to it being 1966, but there is tons of cleavage. Also the best thing Tura Satana ever did and she just looks amazing playing this proto-feminist, ass-kicking, no-nonsense, homicidal, karate-chopping machine. The lines he writes are like some kind of underground pulp poetry. Go-go dancing, kung-fu women, a dirty old man, a retarded man-boy hulk, a wheelchair vs. sports-car fight, an awesome soundtrack and enormous boobs. Up there with one of my all time favs.

"Go, Go For A Wild Ride!":