Sunday, October 30, 2011
Most people think that slasher movies died when the 80's came to an end but unfortunately, even before SCREAM came along in '96 and we got a bunch of shitty/smart-ass/self-aware Hollywood-ized slasher flicks, there were still a bunch of low-budget hack and kill movies being pumped out by maniacs and/or stupid people. This one here is about as low-budget as you can get from a shot-on-video killer on the loose tale that hits every cliche of this, already by this time, completely worn out genre. The FX consist of some fake blood being thrown on people and the rest of the budget seems to have gone towards Halloween masks and a van that gets shot and instantly explodes. The grating background music sounds like it's from some kind of an instructional video. This was filmed in Kentucky using locals who I'm assuming weren't actual actors of any kind. The fact that they gave this thing a feature length running time is astounding. Most of the time is filled with a bunch of unimportant dialogue which dares you to sit through it. I was also a little bit disappointed that the title didn't refer to a ghostly possessed penis. The positive things I will say about this is there are a couple of attractive ladies who do have the decency to at least get their tops off before being butchered and there's a nifty sequence where our masked killer puts on a show of killing people in a haunted house that sorta reminded me of a shitty version of BLOODSUCKING FREAKS but I'm not sure if it's worth sitting through this whole thing just for those couple of bright moments. There is a HAUNTEDWEEN II promised after the credits but thankfully I don't think that ever happened.
Believe it or not Hanks here with the extra stupid accent is actually our hero: