Thursday, June 18, 2015
PET SEMATARY (1989)
Why do movies with cutesy misspelled titles always suck so much? Maybe there's one out there that isn't awful but I can't think of it at the moment. It is nice that Fred "Herman Munster" Gwynne got some film work in the 80's and I did get a chuckle when he slams the table just like his Frankensteiny alter ego but there's not much else to like about this one. It's got a cat muppet that's supposed to be scary, terrible annoying kids and even when one of the little jerks gets run down by my personal hero of the film, a Ramones-loving truck-driving fella, we have to suffer through his return as a precocious little zombie asshole who spouts more annoying dialogue! It's got some of the worst acting I've seen in a Hollywood movie and the story, written by everyone's mom's favorite author Stephen King, is really dumb. King shows up for a minute which might give someone a thrill but I was more thrilled that it was all over and we got to hear some Ramones.
There was a sequel to this which I'm gonna assume is a piece of crap also because it stars Eddie Furlong and came out in the 90's.
At least The Ramones made a few dollars off of this: