Tuesday, April 26, 2016
DOUBLE DRAGON (1994)
This theater near me shows kung fu movies and the admission is really cheap. The catch is that the actual movie you will be watching is kept a secret until it starts up. This usually works out good and I've seen many classic Shaw Brothers films and some crazy off-the-wall obscurities there. Sadly one day this also played and it was one of the worst things I've ever had to sit through in a theater. It contains many elements that are just awful, the main one being that it's a martial arts movie where it seems that not many of the actors knew any kung fu(except for stuntman/actor Al Leong who is always a badass, even in this crap!). The soundtrack is another egregious thing also it was made in the 90s so it just looks terrible in general like most things from that terrible time period. The costumes in this are particularly vomit-inducing. Also it's based on a video game and those movies always blow. Also it's basically a kiddie movie and it's rated PG-13 so there's no way I woulda intentionally watched this in the first place even if it was free. There are a bunch of celebrity cameos including Vanna White, Andy Dick and Michael Berryman, you get to watch Alyssa Milano bend over a couple of times and the main bad guy is played by that guy from TERMINATOR 2(Robert Patrick). None of this makes this all that enjoyable though. Stick with the real kung fu dammit!
The most enjoyable aspect of this movie!: