Monday, July 4, 2016
I BOUGHT A VAMPIRE MOTORCYCLE (1990)
This is a pretty ridiculous one. A guy buys a used motorcycle that was imbued with the spirit of this demonic vampire dude. Then the bike goes around slaughtering people and drinking their blood using these two fang-like protuberances that stick out of it. It also shoots spikes into people's asses and does all kindsa wack shit. There's a quite memorable dream sequence where a piece of shit comes to life and jumps into a guys mouth. There's also a good amount of gore with body parts flying everywhere with decapitations and dismemberments a-plenty. You also get some crappy fight scenes, a real lame biker gang and some very weak "rock n roll". This is also the only movie I've ever seen C3PO(Anthony Daniels) in outside of the STAR WARS. Here he plays a silly motorcycle riding priest who kicks bottoms for the lord(ala DEAD ALIVE). The whole thing is obviously really dumb but for a horror movie from 1990, which is a pretty low-point for horror in general there are worse things you could see.