BURNING AMBITION (1989)

 Japanese director Kinji Fukasaku (THE GREEN SLIME, BATTLE ROYAL etc.) made SHOGUN'S SAMURAI back in the 70s and this is Hong Director Frankie Chan's 80s sorta remake of that. I don't think I've ever seen Kinji's version so I'm not sure how similar this one is plot wise but I do know that instead of being a samurai flick set in feudal Japan though this is a modern-day(or at least modern-day for the 80s) Hong Kong gangster flick. Full of wall-to-wall action including kung-fu, gun-fu and even some car-fu battles this one is pretty enjoyable throughout. It's also all a pretty epic tale of backstabbing double-crossing in the life of a crime family. Yukari Oshima and a few other ass-kicking ladies have some great fight scenes to give it some variety. The one unique, and sometimes frustrating, aspect of this one is that who we are supposed to root for to ultimately be victorious seems to shift from scene to scene. If you can, like myself,  appreciate those grey areas and not having any clear-cut heroes to attach yourself to this one is good asian action flick to check out.



               Apparently this was released under the snazzy title MEGAFORCE in France!:

THE AMITYVILLE CURSE (1990)

 I guess you could call this AMITYVILLE 5(which was also the original working title) but that doesn't really matter because this doesn't really seem like much of a sequel. It does take place in the town of Amityville but the house looks completely different and now it has a confessional down in the basement that a priest got murdered in that was moved there from some cursed church, I think. The whole thing is kind of a confusing mess and since I watched it a few days ago it's now just a dreary blurry memory that is thankfully fading fast. Most of the film plays like a crappy slasher movie with ghosts offing people in various ways. It's all pretty boring though as most things from the 90s were.
 There were 5 more Amityville films making a whopping 10 movies in all that, outside of the first 3, I don't think I've even heard anything about though I think the next one is the one about the cursed clock that looks like it might be the worst sequel ever.

The whole stupid AMITYVILLE saga!:
1. THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979)
2. AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION (1982)
3. AMITYVILLE 3-D (1983)
4. AMITYVILLE: THE EVIL ESCAPES (1989) TV-movie about a haunted lamp from the original house
5. THE AMITYVILLE CURSE
6. AMITYVILLE 1992: IT'S ABOUT TIME (1992) a cursed clock!
7. AMITYVILLE: A NEW GENERATION (1993) a cursed mirror!
8. AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE (1996) a cursed dollhouse!
9. THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005) some shitty Hollywood remake
10. AMITYVILLE: THE AWAKENING (2017)

There's also THE AMITYVILLE ASYLUM (2013) and THE AMITYVILLE PLAYHOUSE (2015) but I think those are just tangentially related.

DIRTY LAUNDRY (1987)

 Comedies that aren't funny are pretty hard to defend. I will not even try with this one. One thing I found interesting about this one is the cast. As the head bad guy you get Frankie Valli of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons and GREASE fame. As his main muscle you get, Nicholas Worth, the large imposing psycho from DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE. Also Sonny Bono shows up for a bit. Sadly all of this all-star power doesn't really add much to the proceedings and it's all a rather dull attempt by some mobsters to regain some lost money. The VHS box makes this look like a POLICE ACADEMY rip-off which it isn't but there is a scene which spoofs MIAMI VICE so I guess that's sorta similar but also not particularly funny. Also to add insult to injury it's rated PG-13 so don't expect any boobs which would have at least spiced things up a bit. Pretty good dumb 80s comedy to skip.



The dude from 80s hair-metal band Kingdom Come shows up in this one scene which I guess might be of interest to someone:

 

AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION (1982)

 The first AMITYVILLE HORROR film, as well as ghost movies in general are not my favorites so I had very low expectations going into this 2nd chapter. I will not say my expectations were necessarily exceeded but at least this one has a few quirky oddball plot details that keep it from being the totally generic re-hash that I had anticipated. Of course you get the same old creepy house but this time instead of just haunting our new occupants(a dysfunctional family headed by Paulie from ROCKY(Burt Young)) they have to deal with their oldest son, conveniently named Sonny, being possessed by some bad spirits. There's also an out of the blue, creepy brother-sister incest thing going on and papa Paulie beating on his wife and kids frequently for additional uncomfortableness. Things do ramble on for a lot longer than necessary after it feels like the movie should be over and it all just feels like they tried to shoe-horn THE EXORCIST into a dumb ghost story but you do get to see some kids viciously murdered which is pretty rare(especially in American films) so I guess it should get some bonus points for taking a few chances if nothing else.




The trailer and this poster states that the film is actually a prequel to the first movie but that fact is never made all that clear in the actual film which clearly takes place in the 80s and not the early 70s as it would have to in order to fit in that timeline:

VAMPIRE MEN OF THE LOST PLANET (1970)

 Al Adamson is a director that more times than not lets me down. This attempt of his to make a sci-fi film with vampires in outer-space is no exception to that rule. Probably more commonly known as HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS this one recycles lots of footage footage from earlier films including that constantly reused scene of those two lizards(made-up to look like dinosaurs) fighting each other from 1940s ONE MILLION B.C. They get away with using old black and white footage because most of the movie is itself in black and white. Most of the scenes that take place on the alien vampire planet are tinted different colors, which the ads called "Spectrum X color!" You get lots of scenes of cavemen(because it's apparently a prehistoric planet) battling vampire cavemen and occasionally other monsters like the bat-demons and claw monsters. While that might sound exciting it's not exactly executed particularly well. The reason for this is probably because these bits were "borrowed" from a 5 year old Filipino film titled TAGANI. John Carradine doesn't do much but give advice every once in a while. My favorite parts are the opening sequences of folks on earth being overrun by bloodsuckers while the great Brother Theodore narrates. If only the rest of the movie could maintain that kinda insane energy level. Other aliases=  BLOOD CREATURES FROM THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, CREATURES OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, CREATURES OF THE RED PLANET, HORROR CREATURES OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, SPACE MISSION OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, SPACE MISSION TO THE LOST PLANET and THE FLESH CREATURES and probably more.





                                    An Al Adamson Drive-In Double Feature crapfest!:

More Adamson  drive-in goodness(badness?)!:

BOYS OF THE CITY (1940)

 This one is only the 2nd East Side Kids movie out of 22. The weird thing, to me, about this one is it doesn't have Huntz Hall in it(I guess he hadn't become a regular member of the gang yet). Despite this it's still a pretty decent episode that takes our gang out of their normal stomping grounds and throws them in a creepy old, potentially haunted, mansion upstate. There's murder, a weird old witchy lady and lots of wandering around in the dark. Huntz woulda made it better but don't worry because we basically get that movie the very next year with SPOOKS RUN WILD and then again with GHOST ON THE LOOSE three years later which kinda makes this one a minor, forgettable footnote.
 Another footnote about this one is that it may be the only one of these films that's actually a direct sequel bringing back the Knuckles Dolan character from the first EAST SIDE KIDS movie. AKA THE GHOST CREEPS

The whole whopping East Side Kids series!:

1. EAST SIDE KIDS (1940)
2. BOYS OF THE CITY (1940)
3. THAT GANG OF MINE (1940)
4. PRIDE OF THE BOWERY (1940)
5. FLYING WILD (1941)
6. BOWERY BLITZKRIEG (1941)
7. SPOOKS RUN WILD (1941)
8. MR. WISE GUY (1942)
9. LET'S GET TOUGH! (1942)
10. SMART ALECKS (1942)
11. 'NEATH BROOKLYN BRIDGE (1942)
12. KID DYNAMITE (1943)
13. CLANCY STREET BOYS (1943)
14. GHOSTS ON THE LOOSE (1943)
15. MR. MUGGS STEPS OUT (1943)
16. MILLION DOLLAR KID (1944)
17. FOLLOW THE LEADER (1944)
18. BLOCK BUSTERS (1944)
19. BOWERY CHAMPS (1944)
20. DOCKS OF NEW YORK (1945)
21. MR. MUGGS RIDES AGAIN (1945)
22. COME OUT FIGHTING (1945)

SMART ALECKS (1942)

 10th movie(out of 22!) in the East Side Kids series. This time the kids(who are actually pretty old to be called "kids") tangle with some tough guy gangsters. They tend to do this a lot, which can be a little confusing when trying to recall which movies you've seen of theirs. This one stands out because one of the kids, Danny(Bobby Jordan), gets his ass kicked so bad that he ends up almost dying which is kind of heavy for one of these light-hearted comedic romps. The power of prayer helps him out though, which is a bit more religious than these movies usually get. Fairly generic stuff but if you're a fan of the antics of Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall(who come off as real dicks for the first half of the movie and even rob one of their pals at one point) you know what to expect. AKA THE EAST SIDE KIDS IN SMART ALECKS

'NEATH BROOKLYN BRIDGE (1942)

 The 11th film in the East Side Kids series. This time the kids get involved with some gangsters and wrongfully charged with murder. It's hard to say much about this movie because it's a pretty generic and predictable film but I suppose you know what you're in for and that makes for some comfortable junk food for the eyes for fans of old-timey comedy/crime capers. There is a gal involved who has to cross-dress in an attempt to disguise herself as one of the gang(Such progressivism!). One thing that I do find slightly annoying is that the title seems to be missing the word "the" but I guess people spoke differently back in the 40s.

THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN (1977)

 This one is a childhood favorite from memorable late-night TV-showings back in the day. Of course on those viewings I missed out on some of the gore and the one pair of boobs that shows up. The film is kind of a remake of that 50s monster movie THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON except now we have really gooey fx work by Rick Baker and a monster(actually an astronaut that's returned from a trip to Saturn that's suffering from some pretty catastrophic side-effects but also super-strength) that bites peoples throats out to drink their blood and tear them apart just because he's really pissed-off about the whole melting thing. 70s monster movies that seem like they escaped from the 50s(like OCTAMAN for example) are certainly one of my favorite wacky genres but this may have more to do with nostalgia than any actual fine qualities the films possess but if you were a monster kid they're definitely worth a look.

Japanese VHS!:

COMMANDOS (1968)

 Lee Van Cleef is the main attraction here and he really acts the hell out of this role of a tough-ass sergeant who, along with a group of fellow commandos, goes undercover in Italy on a secret mission. This is an Italian/German co-production which, when we consider that those two countries were not exactly the heroes in this tale, is a bit strange. Then again I suppose it makes about as much sense as Italians romanticizing the American old-west which, of course, was a major idea in tons of films in this same decade(many also starring Mr. Van Cleef!). Overall this one is an o.k. Euro-warsploitation flick that moves along at a pretty snappy pace and has plenty of action to keep things interesting enough. There is one thing that perturbs me about this movie and that's one scene where Mr. Lee explains to his commanding officer how difficult it is to kill a man and then in almost the very next scene we see people getting stuck with knives and instantly falling over dead in a very Hollywood-style of dying. Besides that though this one is worth a look if war films are your bag.
 Of interest to horror devotees, Dario Argento was one of the 5 writers on this thing(which seems like an awful lot of writers for a fairly simple story) and while there's certainly a lot of killing going on nothing is very horror-like.

THE LADIES CLUB (1986)

 This one reminded me of the 70s rape/revenge epic RAPE SQUAD but where that one was a total exploitation classic about a group of ladies seeking revenge by kung-fuing the crap out of their attackers this one, possibly because it was based on a book, plays out more along the lines of one of those Lifetime TV-movies for women that were popular back in the day and exchanges 70s kung-fu chicks for a group of suburban mom-types. They take that old idea of "every rapist should have his balls cut off" and put it into action by enlisting the aid of a lady doctor to do just that after they drug and capture some racist scumbag(the first victim of this is played by that kill-crazy chubby dude from DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE(Nicholas Worth) in another fitting role).  While it does get super-dramatic at times, as you would expect, it's still a pretty decent 80s update(complete with punk rocker bad guys) of the sleazy rape/revenge genre. AKA VIOLATED and THE SISTERHOOD(which is also the name of the novel it's based on)

SALT IN THE WOUND (1969)

 Klaus Kinski is the main draw in this Italian World War II action flick as a dirty rapey soldier who gets sent to his death by a firing squad until an unexpected attack by some German soldiers gives him a chance to redeem himself. An alternate title for this one is THE DIRTY TWO and that gives you the basic idea as Klaus along with a fellow black prisoner(Ray Saunders) end up reluctantly teamed-up with a scaredy-pants lieutenant played by George Hilton. Hilton normally played the more heroic star of spaghetti-westerns at this time so this is a bit of a departure for him. An o.k. war film that gets a bit predictable but does a good job in fleshing-out it's three main characters for dramatic purposes.
AKA WAR FEVER, BADGE OF COURAGE and THE LIBERATORS

                                             Action-packed trailer!:

WILD BEASTS (1984)

 This one plays pretty much like a slasher movie except instead of some homicidal nutjob doing all the killing you get a bunch of wild zoo animals imbued with maniacal fury thanks to some pcp-infused water running amuck. Directed by Franco Prosperi, best known for doing MONDO CANE as well as a few other infamous mondo-type films, this one is full of "how the hell did they film that?"-scenes. A tiger runs around a subway, a cheetah chases a Volkswagon bug around the city streets, a polar bear attacks some kids in a school amongst other insane spectacles. I'm guessing much of the budget went towards buying animal tranquilizers. Sadly it looks like many animals were not treated well as is often the case with these older European films so if you're a hardcore animal lover this might not be a good choice of viewing material. The gore on display is fairly excessive including an elephant stomping a lady's head, rats eating some people alive and that old standby- the seeing eye dog killing his master(done already in SUSPIRIA and THE BEYOND before this). A strange combination of animals-gone-crazy mixed with bloody Euro-slasher. AKA SAVAGE BEASTS


 

                                                                            Fiery!:

CHALLENGE OF THE TIGER (1980)

 This is one of the wackier kung-fu flicks I've seen in a while. It also seems to have a bit of a bigger budget since it appears to have been filmed in Asia and Spain with a few caucasian stars thrown in for variety. Directed by, produced by and starring, Bruce Lee imitator Bruce Le, the plot deals with a couple of C.I.A. agents(Le and Richard Harrison) having to obtain some secret formula to make males infertile from evil neo-Nazi mobsters. Harrison does a James Bond shtick and lets Mr. Le do most of the actual fighting. More importantly than this though is that he directed the insane slo-mo topless tennis-playing scene that is really the stand-out part of this film that you will remember after after this else has faded from your memory. Bolo Yeung shows up for a little bit as part of another rival gang. I almost thought my long-standing wish of seeing Bolo play a heroic role would happen when he gets double-crossed by his no-good boss but this is sadly cut short. You do get to see Mr. Bolo go up against a white dude(Brad Harris, a former HERCULES star amongst other things) who actually has bigger arms than him which is a very rare occurrence. Le is fine as the heroic star(he gets to toe-to-toe with a rampaging bull, some guys on motorbikes, the aforementioned big-armed hulking white fellow and a whole slew of chopsockey-fodder) but I think I'm still in the Bruce Li camp as my personal fav Lee-rip-off actor. The real star of this thing though is all the ample nudity on display. You're pretty much guaranteed to see every female that shows up in the buff at some point which is quite a departure from your standard Hong Kong fu flick. True exploitation for the discerning palate. AKA SEIZE THE FORMULA and GYMKATA KILLER
 According to IMDB an alternate title for this in Bolivia is ZOMBI 7-11: ENTER THE ZOMBIE which makes no fucking sense at all!

Released as GYMKATA KILLER on video to cash-in on the popularity of GYMKATA at the time:

English spelling is apparently not very important on Egyptian posters!(also that bottom left drawing looks like Don Knotts in drag which is a bit disturbing!):

PARANOIAC (1963)

 This is a weird Hammer horror flick that seems more like an Alfred Hitchcock film with it's twisty-turny mystery plot and characters that are never quite what they seem to be. There are a couple of genuinely creepy bits, including a very disturbing mask, though the majority feels more like a family drama. Oliver Reed plays a fairly unlikeable spoiled rich alcoholic type and he seems custom made for this role. I'm not sure if hardcore Hammer fans would like this one but I found it to be a pretty solid offbeat watch.



                      THE HALLUCINATORY WORLD OF ASHBY?? Spanish poster:

Fancy French spelling!:

Vampiric double-feature!:

THE EVIL OF FRANKENSTEIN (1964)

 The 3rd movie in Hammer studio's FRANKENSTEIN series(though that doesn't really matter since it's not really a sequel to any of the previous entries and just retells Frankenstein's origin). Strange that they called this one THE EVIL OF FRANKENSTEIN since Dr. Frank isn't particularly evil here and is shown being treated like crap right from the beginning. He also gets taken advantage of by a drunken hypnotist, fellow with the awesome name of Zoltan(Peter Woodthorpe), who uses the creature(British Pro-wrestler Kiwi Kingston) for his own nefarious purposes. It's all a pretty by-the-numbers film. The monster looks like a crappy version of the Universal Karloff design, a deaf-mute gal who looks like Bjork becomes his only friend and the monster's downfall, humorously,  has to do with him very quickly becoming a raging alcoholic. Peter Cushing does his usual great acting as the obsessed doctor but I can see why Christopher Lee wouldn't have been interested in being in this.


The whole Hammer FRANKENSTEIN series:

1. THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1957)
2. THE REVENGE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1958)
3. THE EVIL OF FRANKENSTEIN (1964)
4. FRANKENSTEIN CREATED WOMAN (1967)
5. FRANKENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED (1969)
6. THE HORROR OF FRANKENSTEIN (1970)
7. FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL (1974)

                                                   Extremely square-headed creature!:

Known in Italy as THE REVOLT OF FRANKENSTEIN:

Hammer double-feature shock show with NIGHTMARE!:

ANONIMO MORTAL (1972)

 The DVD I have of this uses the way cooler title of SANTO VS. THE NAZIS and that pretty much sums up the plot here. This Santo flick, the 42nd out of a whopping 52 films, plays more like a detective story than an action film for the most part and it is filled with a lot of talky-talk scenes which may lead to drowsiness. Still when we finally get some lucha-libre action(with terribly generic wrestler names like The Nazi and The Pollack) and the big showdown between Santo and these evil Nazis it does make for a campy worthwhile watch. Maybe if the Nazis had built some kinda killer robot or monster it woulda been a bit better.

For all the Spanish-speaking Santo fans!:




                                                   Sadly mundane(and swastika-free) VHS cover:

RETURN TO HORROR HIGH (1987)

 This one is a pretty good example of the things that sucked about 80s horror films. Of course the main thing is that it's really a comedy  that they threw just a bit of blood into to try and fool you. Trying to fool you is another negative component as we not only get dream sequences that prove to be unreal but the structure of making a movie lends itself to a whole slew of fakery and even succeeds in giving this a totally awful ending. Besides that there's some terrible miscasting, Marcia Brady(Maureen McCormick) as a police officer being the main culprit in this department. George Clooney shows up for about 5 minutes(so he gets top-billing on every release forever!) before getting his face smushed on a window. Another annoying thing, particularly to gorehounds and slasher-movie fans, is that they cut away from most all of the explicitly gory bits and mostly just show the aftermath of our killer's rampage. One positive aspect is Alex Rocco, who manages to be great as the film-within-a-film's sleazy producer who just wants more tits and blood in his movie(boy can I relate to this fellow!). Steer clear of this unless you're one of those 80s obsessed crazy kids.
 There was a really good 1970s HORROR HIGH movie but I'm pretty sure there's no connection to that one here.




                                                         Superior Thai poster!:

MA BARKER'S KILLER BROOD (1960)

 This movie starts off with a guy getting gasoline poured all over him and burned alive while pleading for his life! If that's not a great attention grabber I don't know what is. Amazingly this thing was shot in 1959 and features stuff like cops being shot down and run over in the streets, actual blood and holes when someone gets hit by a bullet, Russian roulette and a strong female lead character. I don't think the feminist message was meant as anything positive though and probably works better as a cautionary tale about what happens when you have a weak father figure. More importantly, to me, this was a great kitschy gangster tale with a bunch of famous names from the 30s including Machine Gun Kelly, John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson, Al "Kreepy" Karpis and others joining up with Barker's crew from time to time. While wildy historically inaccurate(apparently the real Ma Barker never picked up a tommy gun and mowed down policemen) this works great as an old-timey exploitation great with some great over-the-top acting by Lurene Tuttle as the titular gangster matriarch.
 Tuttle would go on to be in PSYCHO and a gazillion TV shows over the years. One of her sons here(the sissy one that she slaps around on occasion for not having enough guts), Don Grady, would go on to become Robbie on MY THREE SONS.




                                     Spanish title = WITH CRIME IN THE BLOOD

A WEREWOLF IN THE AMAZON (2005)

 The great Paul Naschy appears in this as a Nazi-fied version of Dr. Moreau who has to leave his island of mutant creatures and start experimenting on the locals in The Amazon jungle. Oh and, as usual, he's also a Wolfman since he used some of his magic gene-splicing potion on himself. There's also a tribe of Amazon women that Naschy created just for fun and to occasionally have some sex with and some cannibalistic beastly monster folks that he keeps in cages. While this might sound like fun, sadly, since this was filmed in 2005, it's all pretty shoddily put together. You do get some nudity and blood and Mr. Naschy is fine in his scenes but mostly it focuses on a group of fairly annoying young people looking to get high and end up getting killed in typical slasher movie fashion. There's also a bit of strange attempts at comedy thrown in that fall really flat. 
 Director Ivan Cardosa did make the superior, and way weirder, SECRET OF THE MUMMY, back in the 80s when there was still a chance of seeing something good.

THE BOY WHO DRANK TOO MUCH (1979)

 Scott Baio, still playing Chachi on HAPPY DAYS at the time, stars as the titular drunken boy in this cautionary TV-movie. Baio, as the macho-named Buff Saunders, plays the son of a full-fledged alcoholic ex-hockey star dad that he tries and emulate. The highlight is a teen party where Buff gets wasted and hits on his friend's gal and then pass out and soils the rug. Besides this it's a pretty typical AA-fueled afterschool special sort of deal. Baio does come off as a dick through most of it which was the complete opposite of his persona at the time though maybe it's prophetic because many people seem to see him that way these days.
 There were a couple of other Baio TV-flicks in this same vein around this time including STONED from 1980, where he discovers the dangers of the devil-weed!, and RUN, DON'T WALK  from 1981 where he's a crippled dude who helps cheer up a depressed gal in the same situation. These were actually part of the AFTERSCHOOL SPECIALS program so I'm sure they're just as sappy and preachy as this prime-time special.

                                               CBS special presentation!:

EAGLE SHADOW FIST (1973)

 The problem with kung fu movies set in more modern times is that anyone with a gun can just shoot a kung fu master and your fight scene would take about 3 seconds. This movie has the balls to set the movie in China during World War II and just have heroic Chinese martial artists chop the guns out of those evil ol' Japanese soldiers with nary a fear of getting their asses shot off.  If that's not angering enough all later releases of this advertise it as a Jackie Chan flick and it's not really. Going through my collection of Jackie Chan films recently I've watched a few real stinkfests but this one might be the bottom of the barrel. If you want to see Jackie with a short buzzed haircut playing second fiddle to a pretty bland main star, then getting his ass kicked and finally murdered in a bloody fashion then maybe this is for you. Otherwise look to any number of Jackie's superior outings.
 I believe this is the first film that Chan has any type of sizeable role in though(besides the stuff he did as a little kid) so I suppose it has some historical importance if nothing else. AKA FIST OF ANGER, FISTS OF ANGER and NOT SCARED TO DIE