DEAR PAM (1976)

 Exploitation director Roberta Findlay, of TENEMENT fame, brings us this porn flick that spoofs popular 70s advice columnist Ann Landers. Truly a product of it's time, besides the newspaper celebrity of the day, dubbed Pam Slanders here, it also features John Holmes as an out-of-character morality crusader(at least for the first bit of the movie until everyone starts screwing everyone). Also worth mentioning is Eric Edwards' character is a real sleazy 70s man who who takes advantage of a virgin looking for a job and his supposedly 14-year-old step daughter(don't worry the actress is clearly an adult in pigtails). The fact that he's presented as our most "sympathetic" character probably says a lot about the degenerates who were going to see these films back in the sordid 42nd Street days. Findlay herself shows up as a secretary in one of the few non-sex roles here. There's also a band called Slim Pickens who close everything out by jamming to a big orgy. I've seen worse examples of 70s sleaze.

    

THE PLAYBOYS (1970)

 This cheapie 70s porn flick might have the most simplistic plot ever outside of peepshow loops, and even some of those may have had more story than this. This porn star from Australia named Pete Dawson has a problem with too many ladies to bang so he hides them each in a different room and humps them in tandem unbeknownst to each other. That's pretty much it until towards the end when his pal, Johnny "Wadd" Holmes(although I believe this was made before JOHNNY WADD), calls up and he invites Mr. Wadd over to lend a helping hand(or cock in this case). Spoiler alert: it all ends with all the chicks leaving our protagonist when they get a look at Holmes' giant schvonce. So I guess the moral is don't let your friend bang your gal pals if he has a bigger dick than you? Luckily this thing runs a little under an hour. Strangely it seems to go from hardcore to softcore from scene to scene and all of Mr. Holmes bits seem simulated. Mostly just a waste of time. AKA THE SWINGING PLAYBOY

                                             Holmes' giant schlong attracts all the gals!!:

JUNGLE BLUE (1978)

 This one is kind-of a porno rip-off of the Tarzan story, except that Tarzan, called Evor here, instead of being a little boy raised in the jungle by apes is in fact an immortal being created by God at the same time that he made Adam & Eve and instead of throwing him into the Garden of Eden he made Evor go into the jungle with no chicks at all. The main plot concerns a couple of hippie/criminal types who massacre a whole village of Evor's native pals and steal some jewels that just look like worthless trinkets. This is not the only thing that you will have to use your imagination with since all of the acting is up to typical 70s porn standards. There's a bit of unexpected bloodshed here as our baddies continuously try and snuff Evor by multiple gunshot wounds and by having his genitals chomped on! Ouch! There's also tons of 70s pubic hair that end up filling ladies mouths during a couple of the lesbo scenes. Evor's pal Chico the gorilla who is a guy in an ape suit with a real black cock sticking out of it that gets to hump a few ladies which makes for some memorable spectacles. Quite a unique melding of crime, jungle-sploitation and fuck flick that you will remember after viewing.
 One odd thing about this is that everytime Evor has a sex scene they do close ups on his genitals and it's clearly John Holmes junk or if not a very close facsimile of it.

WIDOW BLUE (1970)

This is definitely one of the stranger 70's porns I've seen. What makes it odd right out of the gate is it inter-cuts a straight sex scene with a gay romp featuring a couple of fellas set to some music from Walt Disney's FANTASIA. While the actual penetration is never shown between these two guys and they quite possibly are simulating that, they are sucking each others mostly limp dicks and this makes me wonder if this might be the first adult film made for a bi-sexual audience. I kinda doubt they actually had any high consciousness-raising, artistic-minded purposes with this one though and assume they were just going for as much shock value as possible since this is followed by some pretty outlandish bits. You get a meat-cleaver to the throat and a castration by teeth which also results in the biter choking to death on the severed schlong. This all features that super-bright 70's blood and HG Lewis-levels of it to boot. In addition to this we get some incest, necrophiliac cock-sucking, gay-bashing and general sordid woman-hating. Johnny "Wadd" Holmes shows up for an impromptu orgy scene and lots of very hairy folks bang or pretend to bang depending on the scene you're watching. As with many of these 70's hardcore flicks the sex scenes really drag the movie's plot to a harsh stop and makes it seem way longer than it is but for something weird that might turn on your sexually-deviant demented friends this one is worth a viewing. AKA SEX PSYCHO and THE DEMON IN MISS JONES Director Walt Davis later on reused Holmes' orgy sequence in his snazzily titled film HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE LAYS...!

Available as part of a Walt Davis triple-feature disc from the fine people at Vinegar Syndrome:

JOHNNY WADD (1971)

 The first of 9 Johnny Wadd porn films directed by Bob Chinn and starring John Holmes as a detective who's constantly getting laid.  It's also the movie that gave him his famous nickname.  There's not much of a story to this one, just a slight wraparound bit where Wadd is looking for a missing girl.  Most of the 60 minutes or so take place in one room where Holmes bangs a couple of different girls.  One odd scene has Wadd use a Dr, Pepper bottle as a dildo on an older mom-looking lady.
 More of an historical curiosity than anything of any quality.  There's way better porn from this era that you should watch before this.  Also this made me want to watch a spaghetti-western since there's constant unauthorized use of the soundtrack from THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY throughout the run-time. 


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