THE BLOB (1988)

 Back in the 80's the world had not yet been saturated with the glut of terrible, cash-in, soulless remakes that we currently have so when stuff like the THE THING or THE FLY came out everyone didn't wretch in terror at the idea of a remake. Also those movies were around 30 years old by the time they were remade and not something that was solely redone for the purpose of inserting white or black American faces into a foreign-made film from the year before. Basically what these 80's remakes accomplished was to update the practical FX work and put a new spin on something very familiar. This particular example might be the last time Hollywood did a halfway decent retread. Not that this movie is perfect. It suffers from typical late-80's cheesy dialogue and some of the FX are a bit clunky(on the flip side some are actually done really well) but it's basically just a gorier version of the original. It even takes place in a small town that has a very 50's feel to it and has the "no one listens to the teenagers" device used a bunch in that era. While it might not be up there with THE FLY or THE THING I still think this is worth checking out for horror fans from back in a time when remake didn't automatically equal forgettable garbage.

LET ME DIE A WOMAN (1977)

 This is Doris Wishman's transsexual documentary and it's the weirdest film of hers that I've yet seen. You get tales of sexual confusion from various trans-gendered folks, lots of naked she-male types getting prodded by a weirdo doctor and a bloody show-stopping look at an actual sex-change operation that will have you squirming in your seat. I think technically this was supposed to be a sexploitation film, hell even ol' Harry Reems shows up in one sexual reenactment scene, but I can't imagine anyone outside of the lowliest deviant getting any sort of sexual thrills out of this. Also as far as educational value is concerned I imagine it may have meant well at the time but there's so many unintentional laughs to be had here that it's hard to take too much of what's being said very seriously. I'm not sure who I would recommend this to except creepy degenerates looking for something exceptionally strange.
 There was a different cut of this released originally back in '72 as STRANGE/HER.

DILDO HEAVEN (2002)

 The year was 2002 yet Doris Wishman thought it would be a good idea to make a nudie-cutie just like it was the 60's again. Some might say this shows that she never really grew artistically as a director and while that is most likely true I think it also shows how she stuck to a singular vision and didn't let the times change her style and for that I appreciate the insane works of Miss Wishman.
 This movie was shot on video, which of course always looks far inferior to film, so to make up for this, and save a few bucks I'm sure, Doris threw in some jarring scenes from older actual films. The sight of a nerd peeping through a keyhole only to see some old black and white 60's lesbian action is quite bizarre to say the least. All the Wishman trademarks are here; terrible acting, random shots of inanimate objects, scenes that look very much like some home movie footage. It might seem sad that this was one of Doris' last movies and it's so super amateurish but even with all the negative elements(no money, no film, no actual actors) working against her she managed to make a terrible movie that entertains in it's own way. Alcohol and trash appreciation helps immensely with this entertainment value. Look for a postcard with Chesty Morgan on it, TV's showing old roughies and plenty of boobs.
AKA DESPERATE DESIRES

PSYCHO A GO-GO (1965)

 This is advertised on the DVD as being Al Adamson's first fright film but it's not really a horror film of any sort. It's actually about a jewel heist that goes wrong which leads to some mobsters terrorizing citizens in search of their missing treasure. There is a bit of blood and a character who is a murder-happy, woman-hating psycho but I would put this more in the thriller category. There's also a few fairly dull scenes of singing and go-go dancing. It's an OK watch overall just for what it is but nothing spectacular.
 From what I can gather the original version of this film, without the go-go dancing and singing, was released as ECHO OF TERROR. Later on large scenes from this were used by Adamson in BLOOD OF GHASTLY HORROR with John Carradine which is a bit more of a horror deal about zombified killers.

TOUGH TO KILL (1979)

 Joe D'Amato takes us into war movie territory with this extravaganza featuring Luc Merenda as a mercenary who joins up with a rag-tag army to collect the bounty on the head of one of his fellow soldiers. Donald O'Brien from ZOMBIE has a big role also as the major and I don't think I've ever seen him kick as much ass as he does in this. Many bottle of J&B whiskey also put in an appearance like in any good Eurotrash flick. The first half hour, which takes place in a training camp, is a little slow but after that the action kicks in and it gets into a sorta-DIRTY DOZEN situation except with 6 guys. Worth a watch if you dig bad low-budget war movies with tough guys doing tough guy stuff. Unfortunately, even though there's a scene where a guy is decapitated, there's no blood in this at all. So if that's what you're looking for skip it. I do give this extra points for a strange twist ending that I really wouldn't have imagined showing up in an Italian film from the 70's.

The title of this was also used for this book on Eurowar flicks that I haven't read yet but it looks pretty bad-ass!: 

 

http://www.lulu.com/shop/david-zuzelo/tough-to-kill-volume-1-italian-action-explosion/paperback/product-2530590.html

OILY MANIAC (1976)

 As far as Chinese kung fu/monster/superhero revenge films with rape in them go this might be my favorite one. It was made by the legendary Shaw Brothers studio, it's pretty sleazy and there's lots of nudity involved. The plot concerns a crippled fella who gains the ability to transform into an oil-covered monster who looks like the Micheline man and screams a whole bunch at the top of his lungs whenever he appears. This is certainly not a quiet kind of film that you can sleep through. The cool thing about this film is that pretty much everyone who gets killed in it deserves what they get since our monster is also a sorta superhero character who just seeking to avenge the wronged. If you want to see what is one of the Shaw's most insane movies check this out. 
 The creature here is loosely based on the old legend of "The Oily Man" who's kinda like the Malaysian version of Bigfoot if Bigfoot was covered in grease and stole young girls. There were a couple of Oily Man films made there back in the 50's but I've never seen them.

THE BLACK ALLEY CATS (1973)

 This softcore grindhouse classic starts out with a group of gals getting gang-raped, then learning some kung-fu and a little gun-fu and then getting some revenge on their attackers. This part of the movie is pretty awesome and it's only the first ten minutes or so in. The rest of the movie meanders around a bit and throws in some inter-racial lesbian antics, shower scenes and the gang, who sport what might be the worst patches(a badly drawn cartoonish cat with fangs) of any street gang since the Ghetto Ghouls, rob from the rich and give to the poor. You would think by the title that this would be a blaxploitation film about a gang of tough black chicks but there's initially only two black girls in the group and they're a little on the skinny side and don't seem like they could kick much ass in reality. I can't really say the movie as a whole is very good. It's almost porn level bad, but enough wacky stuff happened to at least keep me mildly amused. Also it's filled with some very sleazy people and those are usually my favorite types of films. These slime-balls include one kinky swinging couple who drugs and rapes their baby-sitter, some pimps and even our main girl-gang who don't really seem all that righteous and are basically terrorizing folks but are the lesser of all the evils on display. This is definitely something you would only see made in the 70's and for that I give it a mild thumbs up.


This poor black man gets molested by the Cats:

TEENAGE CAVEMAN (1958)

 The great Roger Corman himself directed this story of a rebellious young caveman, played by a pretty young but not young enough to be a convincing teenager Robert Vaughn, who asks a lot of questions, which is something your apparently not supposed to do in caveman times. There's a cool twist ending that sorta foreshadows what happens in PLANET OF THE APES and unlike most movies made in the 50's it has a fairly bleak outlook on things by the end. I dug it for what it was even if it does get a little preachy in parts.
 AKA OUT OF THE DARKNESS and I WAS A TEENAGE CAVEMAN(this was used when it was originally released on a double-bill with I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF) That classic scene of an alligator with a fin glued to it's back fighting a big lizard that's supposed to be two dinosaurs fighting from JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH is used here as well as a quick shot of THE SHE CREATURE.
 This was remade(sorta) by Larry Clark in 2002 for Showtime and not personally being a big fan of that director's work I can't imagine it would be worth seeking out.



This also possibly inspired this goofy rock-a-billy tune:

ALLEY CAT (1984)

 The best way to describe this female vigilante flick is that it's basically a not-quite-as-good version of SAVAGE STREETS. Similarly to that film it deals with a chick who has a family member, in this case her grandmother, attacked by a street gang and from there it's revenge time. Pretty basic stuff. You do get a lot of nudity from our star, Karin Mani, which is always nice.  Strangely Ms. Mani didn't do a whole lot of acting besides this. She did go on to appear in AVENGING ANGEL which is another similar film. She does a fairly decent job in this although overall this feels pretty tame compared to some of the other vigilante movies that came out around this time(THE EXTERMINATOR probably being my favorite from this era). Worth a look if you really dig vigilante/revenge flicks with tough women heroes kicking ass.

TIME OF THE APES (1987)

 This is a Japanese made-for-T.V. rip-off of THE PLANET OF THE APES. You would think since it's made like 20 years after that movie the make-up would be way better but you would be wrong. I guess since this is actually made by taking parts of a 1974 T.V. series called ARMY OF THE APES and splicing them together there wasn't a very big budget to work with and they just went with cheap rubber gorilla masks. There are a couple of annoying little kids in this so it feels like you're watching a Gamera movie where Gamera never shows up. Instead a UFO pops up and bosses people around. By the time it all ends, thanks to the editing job, I wasn't too sure if it was all a dream or what the hell was going on. Probably only worth viewing if you catch one of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 versions(they riffed it twice).

C. B. HUSTLERS (1976)

 This is a very stupid soft-core sexploitation flick dealing with a group of gals, one of which is Uschi Digard, who ride around in tricked-out vans and are also prostitutes. Their main clientele consists of truckers and their pimp has a c.b. which is where the title comes in. This isn't really as much of a trucker-sploitation film as the poster promises. It's actually more of a SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT rip-off with police in pursuit of our title characters. The "jokes" here are really dumb and it's overall a pretty boring watch except for the ample naked boobs on display. You're better off watching something by Russ Meyer instead.


Budweiser does taste a lot like panther piss!:

REWIND THIS! (2013)

 Pretty decent documentary that covers the history of the video entertainment world. It also deals with the nerdy collectors who are obsessed with VHS boxes and their distorted sense of nostalgia. Some of the more famous talking heads in this include Elvira(in her civilian disguise of Cassandra Peterson), Lloyd Kaufman, Charles Band and Frank Henenlotter. There's also a bunch of people in this that are only interviewed because they have hoarded a bunch of old VHS tapes. I'm not sure how being a delusional pack-rat makes a person qualified to speak on anything but OK. Maybe if this was more of a psychological look into 80's obsession it would make more sense but it never really gets that deep. There's a few other VHS-related docs that have come out recently including ADJUST YOUR TRACKING and VHS MASSACRE which I have not seen and I'm not really sure if the world needs that many interviews with 80's kids patting themselves on the back for paying hundreds of dollars for something you could watch online for free but if you dig old dusty video tapes check them out.

MAID IN SWEDEN (1971)

 Christina Lindberg, best known from the classic rape/revenge flick THEY CALL HER ONE EYE, here, in her very first film, plays an innocent young schoolgirl who goes off to visit her swingin' sister in the big city who lives in sin with this dude. She gets naked a lot and learns about sexy stuff from various people she runs into. Most of this sexy stuff includes getting molested and basically raped which, as occurs in many sex films of the 70's, turns consensual midway through the forced humping. Despite what the title tells us she is not a maid, I think maybe they were going for a more acceptable way of saying "made in Sweden". The plot here is mostly non-existent and this is a pretty basic sexploitation film but you do get lots of naked Christina which is always nice. AKA THE MILKMAID(she's not a milkmaid either)