LOVE IN 3-D (1973)

 I once saw a porno film in 3-D on the big screen but I had never experienced a 3-D German sexploitation flick the way it was originally meant to be viewed until last night.  It's a pretty fun and equally dumb watch that does get a bit monotonous towards the end. The director of this, Walter Boos, also made a few of those SCHOOLGIRL REPORT movies which this has a very similar feel to.
 Judging by some of the comments I overheard, I'm guessing it also has the ability to aggravate current-day "feminists" with it's very 70s style of humour. Why someone who's that easily offended would choose to pay to see this movie I'm not quite sure but I'm also not really sure why people are into masochism either so whatever. So check this out, preferably in 3-D if possible, if you want to see juggs in your face, bouncing sex antics, lots of European bush on display and a very young-looking Christina Lindberg(most famous, of course for THEY CALL HER ONE EYE and various other Euro-sex epics)  popping out of the screen or if you're an ultra-sensitive-type who wants something to be perpetually pissed-off about.
Released on video as FIRST KISSES

The original German intro:

CAMPUS SWINGERS (1972)

                                             "I'm in favor of balling but not all the time"

 This is the 4th movie in the German SCHOOLGIRL REPORTS series with a snazzy English title thrown onto it. I've only seen these first 4 films so far but I think as the series go on I like the films more and more with this one being my favorite so far. This has a little bit of everything you could wish for in a pervy 70's sexploitation film. It starts out with a teacher banging one of his underage students, another guy posing as a doctor to get multiple underage gals naked and fondled, a High-School prostitution ring and even a brother and sister(Christina Lindberg) incest romp. The standout bit though has to be a totally racist part where the only black gal at school gets set-up and gang-raped because all her white girlfriends are jealous of her exotic looks. The amazing thing about this scene is it, along with pretty much everything else that happens in the movie, seems to be played for light-hearted laughs. Either that or watching this film in 2014 it's hard to imagine such a clearly voyeuristic exercise to have been made with any kind of earnest educational intent. Either way though this is a real amazing bit of exploitation cinema that would soon be made extinct due to hardcore porn. Amazingly they would go on to make a bunch (8 or 9?) more of these SCHOOLGIRL REPORT flicks up until the late 70's so I guess at least in germany softcore was still a somewhat viable genre. AKA SEX EDUCATION, BARELY INNOCENT, SCHOOLGIRL REPORT PART 4: WHAT DRIVES PARENTS TO DESPAIR

MAID IN SWEDEN (1971)

 Christina Lindberg, best known from the classic rape/revenge flick THEY CALL HER ONE EYE, here, in her very first film, plays an innocent young schoolgirl who goes off to visit her swingin' sister in the big city who lives in sin with this dude. She gets naked a lot and learns about sexy stuff from various people she runs into. Most of this sexy stuff includes getting molested and basically raped which, as occurs in many sex films of the 70's, turns consensual midway through the forced humping. Despite what the title tells us she is not a maid, I think maybe they were going for a more acceptable way of saying "made in Sweden". The plot here is mostly non-existent and this is a pretty basic sexploitation film but you do get lots of naked Christina which is always nice. AKA THE MILKMAID(she's not a milkmaid either)

EXPOSED (1971)

 What you basically get here is an earlier, gentler version of Christina Lindberg's THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE. The focus here though isn't on the revenge aspects (in fact I'm not even sure if the revenge actually takes place at all since some of the sequences in this film seem to just be dreams or fantasies of Lindberg's and not really happening) but more on the blackmailing, abuse and exploitation of our main character Lena.  In reality it's all just an excuse to shoot some great-looking nude scenes and get some great photos of Christina who probably looks better here than in anything I've ever seen her in, and that's saying something since she always looks good to me.  The pimp character here(Heinz Hopf) is the same guy from THRILLER and he does make for a good sleazy type.  Here he gets to tie Lindberg up with ropes and perform a sorta-rape(I say sorta because Lena seems more disinterested than brutalized and the line between consensual and forced is blurred by her ennui).  Also in the middle of this film we get to go out to the movies and watch some of TARZAN TRIUMPHS from the 1940's.  Probably only worth a look if you're a big Lindberg fan like myself or a non-discriminating Euro-boob & bush fan but I can see it boring most everyone else with it's slow-pace.  AKA DIARY OF A RAPE & THE DEPRAVED


1971 - The Depraved - Gustav Wiklund by Altanisetta

ANITA: THE SHOCKING ACCOUNT OF A YOUNG NYMPHOMANIAC (1973)

This early 70's soft-core Swedish sexploitation flick is probably only of interest to fans of the sexy Christina Lindberg star of the great rape/revenge flick THEY CALL HER ONE EYE.  This pic came out a year before that eye-gouging epic and features Lindberg as a 17-year old schoolgirl who's also a nymphomaniac.  Just about every few minutes you get the lovely Christina naked either having really depressing sex with various dorks or giving out blow-jobs to filthy old men or doing a nice striptease in front of her family.  How can she be cured of this deviant behavior?  Apparently having an orgasm is her key to happiness and a fulfilling love life.  Not exactly the deepest or most psychiatric-ally accurate portrayal of human sexuality ever put on screen but still a pretty fun little dirty movie for the most part despite the sort of doomed downer vibe our naughty heroine gives off.  It's weird that many of the films of Sweden(even silly sex films) have that unintentionally gloomy feeling to them.  It must be something about living in such a chilly environment or maybe it was just a 70's thing. Check it out for the supreme boob display! AKA ANITA: SWEDISH NYMPHET

THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE (1974)

A.K.A. THEY CALL HER ONE EYE.  In the sub-genre of rape-revenge films I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE has got to be my personal #1 pick while this one could possibly be a close second or maybe third after LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT.  It easily beats both of those though in its stylistic choices(matching eye-patches and snazzy trench-coat)  and tops it in not just being about a rape but a long-term abduction, forced drug-addiction, forced prostitution and mutilation.  This is probably why Quentin Tarantino has called this one the roughest revenge film ever.  Being filmed in Sweden helps give it a whole unique style of desolate feeling.  The parts that bring this movie down a bit are some strange plot points(do enslaved hookers get Mondays off?) and a major overuse of super slow-motion during the revenge portion of the film.  Also don't try watching this movie if you're even a slight bit tired cuz it's super quiet in lots of parts which adds to the sorta documentary feeling but doesn't help you if you want to stay awake.  It's also generally slow going at points when you know exactly what's going to happen.  Some versions of this feature hardcore insert shots which used other actors as stunt genitals and don't really add anything except the sight of hairy private parts which might shock your grandma.  Overall it's worth seeing if you're at all a fan of 70's revenge type flicks that mix up the sleazy elements with artsy pretensions or if you ever wanted to see an actual corpse have a scalpel jammed into its eyeball.