THE HOLY VIRGIN VERSUS THE EVIL DEAD (1991)

  Lots of nudity featured in this kung fu/horror mash-up.  A "moon monster" is on the bloody rampage in Hong Kong until the movie relocates to Cambodia and we get a tribal goddess/holy virgin with a magical sword involved in the ass-kicking action. Lots of gun-fu, a piranha attack, a magic sword, a tranny god with a Freddie Mercury moustache and some gory kills. 

 I did see this as part of a 12-hour marathon recently in the local weirdo movie theater so the main thing I recall from this were the boobs. 

 This has nothing to do with the EVIL DEAD series but it's still a cool title.

I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE (1958)

  If you mixed INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS with MARS NEEDS WOMEN(which wouldn't actually be made for another 10 years) you pretty much get the plot for this schlocky 50s sci-fi flick. Just like INVASION it's all a thinly-veiled metaphor for the evils of communism, or possibly in this case how crappy marriages can get. If you read pretty much any review of this some cinema-critiquing snob will explain all that to you. While not up there with the heavyweight classics from this era it's still a fun old b-movie watch and one of the snazziest titles to boot!

CHARLEY VARRICK (1973)

                         

  "They're gonna strip you naked and go to work on you with a pair of plyers and a blowtorch"

 One of the best movies I've seen in a while. Obvious influence on Quentin Tarantino(especially with that line up above that he stole) this one is filled with an all-star cast including stars Walter Matthau and Joe Don Baker. A bank robbery goes wrong and the mafia gets involved. Shoot-outs, double-crosses, ass-kicking and explosions occur. A notable car vs. plane chase is a highlight. Director Don Siegel(responsible for lots of classics including the original INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHRES and DIRTY HARRY) has got to be one of the greatest directors to ever have to work within the Hollywood system. 

THE VAMPIRE AND SEX (1969)

 There are 2 different versions of this movie starring Santo the silver-masked wrestling legend(who also plays a scientist here for some inexplicable reason). The one I viewed recently is the sexier nudity-filled cut. In this Dracula likes to pull down gals tops and inspect their large breasts before biting them on the neck. There are a bunch of sexy vampire women, super fake bats, time travel and gratuitous wrasslin' scenes to go along with the nekkidness. This is the 20th film(out of 52!) in the Santo filmography and certainly the sexiest!

 The original tamer version is titled SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA and has been used on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER before.

THE UNDERTAKER (1988)

  One of the last movies featuring the great Joe Spinell(best known as that maniac from MANIAC). Sadly he's not very great here and seemingly drunk for most of his scenes. The rest of the "acting" is also just as bad. Really garbagey bottom-of-the-barrel pointless slasher movie. Watch THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS instead!

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2009)

  In the 2010's(when this was released in America) this seemed to be a pretty big deal, it was based on a series of books and garnered a big fancy Hollywood remake in 2011, but since then it seems to have dropped off of everyone's radar and I never see it referenced at all. That's kind of a shame since this is a really well-done movie that mixes drama, thriller, horror and action. There's Nazis, rape, serial killing and our main character(Noomi Rapace) is a brooding goth/punk chick. The one downside is that this film, and each of the subsequent sequels, are over 2 hours long! They do move quickly enough that it's not a drag but it certainly makes me never want to rewatch any of these very often. 

BEN (1972)

  I haven't seen the original WILLARD since I was a little kid back when it used to play on TV and I'd never seen this sequel so I figured it was about time(It also helped that the local weirdo movie theater was having a showing). It definitely falls into that goofy animals-run-amok subgenre that was so popular in the 70s. We get a little boy character that veers from being annoying to sympathetic depending on your tolerance level, lots of silly-looking rat attacks, singing marionettes, a big final battle that takes forever and let's not forget the Academy Award-nominated best song( a love song about a boy and his best friend who's a murderous rat) sung by Michael Jackson.  Worth a look but I recall WILLARD being a bit more classy. 

 

                                                               The #1 hit!:

 

                                                                Italian poster:

RAZORBACK (1984)

  This giant-pig-on-the-loose-in-Australia epic is way more stylish than it has any right to be. This is obviously due to it's director Russell(HIGHLANDER) Mulcahy who started off being a music video director before embarking on his feature film journey. I've seen this compared to that wild Australian classic WAKE IN FRIGHT and while this might have some of the same energy as that it is clearly something made with a very 80s sensibility(especially with Duran Duran on the soundtrack). Check it out for something that's elevated above the average trashy JAWS-inspired animals-run-amok dreck. 

THE SWINGING CHEERLEADERS (1974)

 Jack Hill-directed sexploitation classic featuring cult favs Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith from MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH and Colleen Camp of DEATH GAME fame. Our main cheerleader(Jo Johnston who is really good in this and would sadly go on to do no other acting roles) is actually an undercover journalist writing about the oppressive world of cheerleading. The main theme of this film is that you can't always judge people by their outward appearance. The mood swings wildly from serious social commentary to slapstick comedy and while not the best Hill flick(SWITCHBLADE SISTERS from the following year might be my choice for that honor) is still worth a look for some vintage drive-in thrills. 

Rereleased at some point as LOCKER ROOM GIRLS. 

Released in the U.K. and the U.S. on video as H.O.T.S. II which is kinda weird since the first H.O.T.S. wasn't made until 1979!:

NAUGHTY CHEERLEADERS (1985)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

SPECIAL AGENT L.K.: OPERATION KING MIDAS (1967)

  Eurocult director Jess Franco goes the comedy route this time. Not just a comedic take on James Bind but a simulation of a comic book with captions and word balloons that pop up from time to time. There were quite a few of these silly Bond cash-ins made in this era and I'm not a huge fan of any of them but this was mildly amusing and something outside of the usual Franco sleaze milieu. 

 More commonly known as LUCKY THE INSCRUTABLE. 

DAY OF THE ANIMALS (1977)

   This is that movie where Leslie Nielsen takes off his shirt and fights with an angry grizzly bear. It's not done for laughs though since this was years before Nielsen became known for being a funny man. In fact in this he's about the biggest douchebag you could imagine!

  Directed by William Girdler, who just one year earlier had given us the similarly-themed nature-run-amuck epic GRIZZLY, this one throws dogs, snakes, birds, wolves, mountain lions and few other creatures into the mix of revenge-seeking animals. There's also a pretty dumb ecological message about the ozone layer thrown in to explain everything that's going on. Good goofy 70s fun that would make a great double feature with FROGS. 

Re-released as SOMETHING IS OUT THERE to trick people:

    Also released on VHS under this title(there are sadly no crazy monkeys in this movie):

THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS (1934)

  Before watching this 3 Stooges short I had no idea that Lucille Ball had ever appeared with Moe, Larry & Curly. I also had no idea Roger Moore, who shows up briefly as a henchman, did! Besides these cameos this one isn't all that exceptional. The Stooges get mistaken for football heroes and end up playing ball very badly and that's about it.