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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Monday, January 3, 2011

THE LOLLIPOP GIRLS IN HARD CANDY (1976)



What do you get when you mix really bad 3-D f/x, retarded slapstick action, unattractive people fucking, jokes that would embarrass a 1st grader and an incoherent storyline?  You get this obscure 70's porno right here.  Added to those charming elements you witness abrasively annoying acting from people saying their lines like a bunch of assholes(imagine The Chipmunks having a conversation with Barney The Dinosaur), a hodge-podge of random things that are thrown at you that give everything this insane chaotic feel(where the fuck did that gorilla come from?).  In addition to the brain damage I think I may have suffered trying to follow the plot I feel I may have lost some eyesight due to the horrible double-vision ancient 3-D technology used.  Surprisingly not a lot of sex for an adult movie, of course the print I saw was in obvious bad shape so some things might have been missing.  John Holmes appears in one fuck scene that seems like it was taken from a different movie, also Joey Silvera shows up briefly but isn't listed in the credits.  While I can't give this a good review as a film I will say that I am glad to have experienced a true 3-D porn flick in a real theater if for no other reason than to say I did it.

This trailer, in true exploitation style, is way better than the whole movie:

1 comment:

  1. "the chipmonks having a conversation with Barney" haha that is so true!

    ReplyDelete