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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

BREAKOUT FROM OPRESSION (1973)


  This is the first film to star Gordon Liu of MASTER KILLER fame(billed as Liu Chia Fai here) so it has some historical value. It doesn't really have much else going for it though. It starts out with some Japanese occupiers treating Chinese people like shit, so you would think it's gonna be one of those Chinese heroes vs. diabolical Japanese movies, especially given the "OPRESSION" title and all, but they mostly abandon that pretty quickly and it becomes a sorta murder mystery for most of the film. Fairly uneventful and forgettable stuff. You do get to see Mr. Liu with hair though, so that's different.  AKA DEADLY STRIKE

 There is also a 1982 BREAKOUT FROM OPRESSION(originally titled EXPOSED TO DANGER) from Taiwan that has no connection to this one and I don't think is even a martial arts film. 

Saturday, March 27, 2021

DRUNKEN MASTER III (1994)


  The first DRUNKEN MASTER starred Jackie Chan back in '78. The 2nd and 3rd(this one) both came out in '94. This is definitely the worst of the 3 and not just because it's missing Mr. Chan. Apparently the backstory here is that director Lau Kar Leung left before completing Part 2 so this was his revenge. I'm not sure how good of a revenge it is to make something like this but I guess he had bigger hopes for the outcome. My main problem, besides all the weird political stuff, is that Gordon Liu, plays the main bad guy and it's hard for me to see him in that role so I spent a good portion of the movie rooting against the heroic Andy Lau. The other problem is that nobody gets drunk even once in this so I'm not sure why it has this title. AKA DRUNKEN MASTER KILLER (trying to capitalize on Gordon Liu's earlier masterpiece).   

LEGEND OF THE EIGHT SAMURAI (1983)




  This one starts out with a terrible 80s song while the credits role, then it gets boring for a bit while we get the back-story, which is based on some Japanese folklore. From there it's all about a princess and her samurai protectors hiding out from some demons and an old witch lady. This goes a little too much over into the fantasy realm for my liking but there are a few cool elements. Sonny Chiba is always good to see in his tough guy role, there's a few giant killer snakes, a couple of decapitations, naked blood-bathing and one giant centipede monster that supplies some goofy fun. Not my personal fave but if you're into the more cartoony stuff this might be for you. 

 Also of note is that this was directed by Kinji Fukasaku who gave the world THE GREEN SLIME and BATTLE ROYAL among other great Japanese films so check it out if you're a completist. . 


Wednesday, March 24, 2021

NINJA WARS (1982)


  Sonny Chiba gets to play a badass as usual in this Japanese samurai flick disguised as a ninja movie. He's technically only a supporting character though despite what my Chiba DVD box set promises me. Hiroyuki Sanada stars as a heroic ninja who never actually dresses like one. There are a lot of crazy elements in this one. You get an evil sorcerer, a bunch of magical warriors, a guy whop spits out some kinda killer quick-drying Krazy glue/goop, a decapitation that shoots out blood like a lawn sprinkler, a naked horny fat chick, rape and a love potion among other things. Even with all that stuff it never really reaches the insanity level of a Shaw Brothers film but still a good watch for something outside the normal ninja hijinks that these types of films deliver. AKA BLACK MAGIC NINJA and IGA MAGIC STORY. Released on DVD as DEATH OF A NINJA.

 I've only seen the subtitled version but this dubbed cut looks extra stupid!:





Sunday, March 21, 2021

THE FINAL TERROR (1983)


 This slasher flick is probably best know as the one with Daryl Hannah in it, but besides her you also get that Joey Pants(Pantoliano) guy from THE SOPRANOS, the guy from that Twisted Sister video(Mark Metcalf) and other stars or soon to be stars(Rachel Ward, Adrian Zmed etc.) so the acting is pretty good for a film in this genre. It's a pretty basic slasher set-up, young people in the woods being targeted, but this group, for the most part, does seem to make some pretty good decisions so you don't get too pissed off while watching. Also the ending is pretty spectacular. 

 There's allegedly a longer uncut version of this titled THE CREEPER that played outside of the U.S. and a longer T.V. version called CARNIVORE which is missing gore scenes but has other additional bits added.   



                                      Known in the U.K. as CAMPSITE MASSACRE!:



Saturday, March 20, 2021

TIGER'S KUNG FU (1977)


  This kung fu flick starts out promisingly enough with a pregnant lady trying to escape from being eaten by a tiger by pissing on him from a tree. Apparently the legend says this will make him your good buddy forever. Then she gives birth and raises her kid to be a wild jungle man, kinda like Tarzan. But then the movie settles in and becomes the more standard 2 families feuding deal for most of the runtime. Luckily the ending becomes even more bizarre as our tiger somehow gains magical powers to turn into a demonic long-fanged old woman monster and goes on a killing spree turning the film into a horror movie for the big finale. This unfortunately all sounds way more exciting than it actually plays out though but I'll give it points for uniqueness. 

 The main thing this movie is known for, if at all, is a scene where a little boy appears to be mauled by an actual tiger which have raised some question to whether we are watching some kinda real death scene situation. Luckily they cut away pretty quick before anything to horrendous is shown, but yikes!  AKA THE TIGER LOVE and TIGER'S KONG FU


                     Known in Germany as KUNG FU ZOMBIE VS. TIGERCLAW!(which is a weird title since there isn't really a zombie but more of a demon and the demon is actually the tiger!): 



LISA AND THE DEVIL (1973)


 Even though I'm a big fan of director Mario Bava and star Telly Savalas this has never been one of my favorites. I think it's because it comes down a little too much on the artsy-fartsy side of things and a lot less on the side of actually having any kind of engaging plot. It all looks good, of course, and Telly is good as the devil but if I ever feel the need to re-watch this I will probably go with the super-exploitative, EXORCIST-rip-off, re-edited version know as HOUSE OF EXORCISM but I know that's not a popular choice amongst the majority of horror fans. 

 Interestingly Bava wanted to get Bette Davis to play the blind countess role here but ended up with Alida Valli, which just kept reminding me of SUSPIRIA and how much better that movie is to this. 

Friday, March 19, 2021

AVALANCHE EXPRESS (1979)

  You would think a movie with such an all-star cast as Lee Marvin, Robert Shaw(in his very last role), Linda Evans(from that DYNASTY show), and footballer Joe Namath might be more well-remembered. I had never heard of this until recently and after watching it I can kinda understand why. The filmmakers here seem to be trying to mix a disaster film with an espionage/spy flick. The disaster elements are really secondary though and the titular avalanche is done with halfway through the film. The secret agent stuff about transporting Shaw, who's a Russian defector(his actual voice is oddly dubbed over), is also fairly lackluster and manages to make whatever action scenes there are pretty unexciting. On a positive note though horror/exploitation fans get to see the great David Hess actually do some acting outside of the usual roles he was given, so at least there's that.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

KIDS FROM SHAOLIN (1984)



  This is sort-of a kung fu movie version of THE BRADY BUNCH. You see there's the Wu Tang family that has a bunch of girls and the Shaolin kids who are all male and the boys become really keen on joining the 2 groups together so they can finally have a mom in their lives. These parts are pretty silly comedy crap but there is a group of naughty threatening pirate-types looking to do some raping and pillaging that at least gives us a decent showdown at the end. There's a guy with nunchucks that look like they were made out of dinosaur bones, a dude with a spinning shield with blades on it, knives on the end of a rope used as a weapon and all your more standard swords and staffs stuff. Jet Li, who I was never a huge fan of, is fairly good in this. I think I generally prefer his earlier stuff to the more well-known big Hollywood crap that he's famous for. 

 Apparently the story goes that it was so hot during the filming of this that people passed out while doing their stunts which seems like some terrible child abuse, which I unfortunately feel like isn't all that unusual in Hong Kong cinema from these days. 

AKA SHAOLIN TEMPLE 2 ( The first SHAOLIN TEMPLE also features Jet Li but I don't think this is really a direct sequel of any sort. There's also MARTIAL ARTS OF SHAOLIN with Li in '86 which is considered the 3rd movie in this very loosely related trilogy), SHAOLIN BOYS and SHAOLIN KIDS

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

THE EARTH DIES SCREAMING (1964)

  This British end-of-the-world sci-fi flick has a cool NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD-vibe going on as it concerns a group of survivors dealing with a doomsday scenario which turns out to be an alien invasion. The ending also, while not as nihilistic as NOTLD, leaves things open-ended enough that it may not be as happy as is evident. Oh, and the aliens can bring back dead humans as radio-controlled "zombies" so maybe George Romero was a fan of this one. The robot-aliens themselves are not all that spectacular but it works well enough for this story. 

 Director Terence Fisher, who I know mainly as that Hammer and Amicus studios guy, went on to make 2 more alien/monster invasion films, ISLAND OF TERROR in '66 and NIGHT OF THE BIG HEAT in '67. Both of which I have not seen but I probably should. 


Thursday, March 11, 2021

GAS! OR IT BECAME NECESSARY TO DESTROY THE WORLD IN ORDER TO SAVE IT. (1970)


 This starts off as an apocalyptic end-of-the-world deal with a gas that kills off anyone over 25. It's really more of a spoof of youth culture of the 60s and a satirical look at the stark generation gap back in those days though. It's also really a big disjointed mess. Roger Corman is the director here, but apparently AIP re-edited things quite a bit which pissed him off and caused him to leave and start his own company, New World Pictures, shortly after this. There's lots of dumb hippie stuff in this film, you get Shirley(Cindy Williams) from the LAVERNE & SHIRLEY tv show in a very pregnant state, Edgar Allen Poe as a biker is a sort of narrator, Bud Cort from HAROLD & MAUDE shows up, there's a football team that rapes and pillages, Country Joe & The Fish play a gig(while all looking older than 25), lots of hippie gibberish ensues and there's a silly peacenik ending. Unless you're really nostalgic for the 60s this one is pretty skippable. AKA GASSSS 





Tuesday, March 9, 2021

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU (1968)


  I've never seen any of the other Fu Manchu movies in this series but this, and the other one directed by Jess Franco, have the reputation of being the 2 worst. I can't really argue with that since it took me a few attempts to get through this one. Christopher Lee plays the title role so I can assume if these movies were popular at all they would have been cancelled by now so at least that's cool. You do get some torture scenes, nudity and women get bitten on the tit by a poisonous snake giving them super-powers to kill anyone they kiss(hence the alternate title of KISS AND KILL).  Sadly it's all a bit boring and too slow-paced to be very engaging. Maybe I should check out the earlier installments sometime.

Christopher Lee's Fu Manchu series:

 1. THE FACE OF FU MANCHU (1965)

2. THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU (1966)

3. THE VENGEANCE OF FU MANCHU (1967)

4. THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU (1968)

5. THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU (1969)






Friday, March 5, 2021

THE MONSTER CLUB (1981)




 Remember that movie where there's a stripper who strips all of her skin and flesh off and ends up just a dancing skeleton? Well if you do, this is that movie. I recall first seeing this one on t.v. as a youth which probably wasn't too long after it originally was released. So I assume it wasn't much of a big hit or anything. Vincent Price and John Carradine, both sadly past their prime, star in what is an anthology deal with 3 horror tales. It's in the Amicus studios mold(produced by Amicus' Milton Subotsky and the last film directed by Amicus regular Roy Ward Baker) but came out a few years after they went out of business. The stories are a bit slow for the most part but the wraparound scenes in the actual "monster club" are goofy fun. You get Donald Pleasence as a vampire hunter and Britt Ekland as a wife of a vampire who is somehow not a vampire herself. How does that work exactly? The new wavey musical bits(including The Pretty Things who were somehow still together since the 60s!) really bring things to a halt but at least I know what a shadmock is now. 

 




Monday, March 1, 2021

CUTE DEVIL (1982)

 

 Also known as LOVELY DEVILS, this is Nobuhiko Obayashi's(the director who gave us the amazing HAUSU back in 1977) take on THE BAD SEED. Shot for Japanese T.V. and premiering on something called TUESDAY NIGHT SUSPENSE THEATER it's pretty intense stuff involving a young gal snuffing out her relatives, a teacher and pretty much anyone who pisses her off for any reason. I'm thinking something like this with blood, murder and one fellow who might be a child-molester would not play on American T.V. in the 80s. There is a character who thinks she has psychic abilities which had me hoping for some kinda CARRIE VS. THE BAD SEED showdown but that doesn't ever really take place. Maybe they tried that on another episode.