UNDERCOVER (1995)

  Fairly unremarkable softcore tale of a lady cop(Athena Massey) who goes undercover as a hooker in a whorehouse trying to find out who killed one of the ladies of the evening. Former porn director Gregory Dark directs this and you can really tell. Surprisingly Meg Foster is the madam and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who would go on to play Negan on THE WALKING DEAD show, has a big role. AKA UNDERCOVER HEAT

PANIC (1982)

  I caught a trailer for this Italian horror flick at the drive-in recently during a weekend of zombie flicks so I naturally assumed it was a zombie movie. Turns out it's not really but is more of a mutated monster on the loose deal concerning a virus that turns a scientist into an ugly murderous freak. It's ok for what it is but I guess I was expecting more. It basically plays like a crappy European slasher film. David Warbeck from Fulci's The Beyond stars as Captain Kirk(no not that one!). 

Released on DVD with the slightly more memorable title of MONSTER OF BLOOD, though that makes it sound like one of those Filipino "Monster of Blood Island" movies.

HOLLYWOOD MEATCLEAVER MASSACRE (1976)

  You would think a movie most commonly known simply as MEATCLEAVER MASSACRE might actually contain someone getting killed with a meat-cleaver but don't count on that. There is a massacre though consisting of strangulation, bludgeoning and a kitchen knife, but no cleaver action, which sets the story into motion and then we focus on the sole survivor of said massacre getting his revenge from his hospital bed which kinda reminded me of that movie PATRICK(which wouldn't come out for a couple of years) though in this case he uses some kinda Satanic demon conjuring instead of just psychic powers like in that one. It's not very exciting. Christopher Lee pops up in the opening and closing to tell stories that vaguely relate to the main movie. Apparently the producers just bought some footage of him to get his mug on the poster.

 Released on video as REVENGE OF THE DEAD. 

DEVIL STORY (1986)

                                                    "Fuck the mummy!" 

 This is one of the wackier movies I've seen in a while. What we got here is a French horror flick that starts off like it's going to be a slasher gorefest(something along the lines of OGROFF also from France) featuring a mutant Nazi killer before it then turns into a fever-dream involving a possessed horse, a mummy(complete with bride), a black cat(that gets tossed around in various scenes) and an old murderous hag. Director Bernard Launois seems fairly incompetent with his repeated act of cutting to the same scenes over and over again but somehow he did manage to make 6 previous films before this one so I guess someone believed in him. Obviously this is for real hardcore aficionados of low-brow trash cinema only.