NOSFERATU: PHANTOM OF THE NIGHT (1979)

 Director Werner Herzog is one of my all-time favorite humans to ever make a movie. He might also be one of my all-around favorite humans to exist. His visual style is amazing and blows away so many other so-called film-makers in this regard. Here he remakes the 1920's classic vampire tale in color and with Klaus Kinski in the starring role. It trades the abstract expressionism of the original for more typical artsy flairs.  Kinski adds that special extra kookiness that he always does and actual shows some range here playing a role outside of the usual insane sort that he would become known for and he also looks radically different then anything else I've seen him in. I can't say that there aren't some stretches in this movie that go one for too long where not much happens because there are a few super slow points where I feel like nodding off but luckily I'm always pulled back into the film enough to never want to give up on it. This film proves that remakes can be a worthwhile endeavor if you have the imagination to make them work. Unfortunately after the 70's/80's were over remakes seem to just be repackaged garbage designed to squeeze a few dollars out of the most gullible robotic viewers. AKA NOSFERATU THE VAMPYRE

PLASTIC BAG (2009)

This short film is part of a project of filmmakers that have come together to make movies about the future of American society. This one is about the life of a lonely plastic bag who outlives the human race.  It proves to me that Werner Herzog could narrate anything and make it interesting. It's not all Herzog though as the film is beautifully shot by Ramin Bahrani who is a guy who has made a few of these artsy type films that I know nothing about. The fact that he could make you care about a stupid fucking bag is pretty amazing though and I would recommend it to anyone with any sorta heart which I think rules out a big chunk of the human race that I encounter on a daily basis. There's also an obvious environmental message thrown in there so if you dislike the environment don't watch.
Personally the fact that plastic bags take 500 to 1,000 years to decompose is probably not gonna effect my life all that much since I'm not gonna be around to worry about the mess and theoretically in the future isn't it possible that scientists will create some process for dealing with this problem?  That is also assuming that the world is even still here by that time.  All questions I'll leave to the pot-smoking philosophers to ponder.

GOD'S ANGRY MAN (1980)

Back when I was a kid before we had a VCR, and before we had cable, local UHF stations were my main source for obscure horror films, WWF wrestling, The Uncle Floyd Show, weird Japanese cartoons and other assorted strange stuff that the main stations never showed.  If you fiddled with the antennae just right you could find a whole world of bizarre programming that most people didn't give a shit about.  One late night I tuned into a Connecticut station to find a strange white-haired, bearded man wearing a cowboy hat sitting quietly in front of a live studio audience reading a bible and puffing on a big cigar while some band, decked out in used car salesman suits, played some pseudo-religious jazzy number.  The man would stop reading occasionally to yell at  me and any other viewers, insane enough to be watching this at 1 in the morning, for not sending him money for his church then he would yell at his band to play the same song over and over again.  That was where I discovered Dr. Gene Scott and whenever there weren't any worthwhile trash films airing I would end up watching this clearly unhinged, so-called man of God terrorize and threaten people into coughing up some dough for Jesus.  Although I never sent Scott any money I feel I should thank him in some way for the hours of entertainment back then and also unintentionally for my views on the insanity of religion today.  In this documentary, director Werner Herzog lets Scott tell his own story and doesn't add any narrative at all.  Not sure if this would appeal in any way to an audience who doesn't know anything about Scott prior to viewing it but for me it was a trip down memory lane to a time when I had nothing better to do with my life than get yelled at on a Saturday night by God's angry man.

BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS (2009)

Ultimately this is a pretty dissapointing pseudo-remake of the great Abel Ferrara/Harvey Keitel flick.  While director Werner Herzog does have some wacky shots and weird bits thrown in here and there it's really not enought to take away from the simple fact that Nicolas Cage has become a pretty terrible cliched actor.  It's hard to become engaged in his character when he's obviously just hamming it up the whole time.  By contrast Keitel played a character that you feel increasing despair for the whole film.  Just looking at the two very different endings gives a pretty clear picture.  Keitel ends up spiralling down and sacrificing himself for some Christian notion of charity, Herzog goes with an almost completely happy ending with everyone around Cage getting clean and Cage himself getting a promotion.  Now which one of those seems more powerful.  A blaze of gunfire or hanging out with fish?  I know which one I will rewatch first.  Maybe if this isn't compared to its obvious inspiration it wouldn't fail so badly.  Herzog still manages to entertain with all the absurd iguana cameos and breakdancing spirits but this one is down near the bottom of all the stuff I've seen from him so far.